*calling Angel110 | When You Seek Comfort
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When You Seek Comfort
Requested by: Angel110
Reviewer: Yoon_Jeonghan
Review Requested: July 11th, 2015
Review Completed & Posted: July 12th, 2015
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Title: (8/10)
The title was creative. I haven't seen or read a story with the same title. It is revelant to the story and gives the readers a hint about what the story is about.
Foreword: (7/15)
No layout was used, but a layout is not required for a good story. I like how the description gets straight to the point. It does its job well and nothing else needs to be described. However I do believe that it lacks creativity. At first glance, the story sounds very cliche which can be a major turn off (sorry for phrasing your story like this, but I don't know how to express myself) for some readers.
Characters: (12/20)
There was little character development and little character introduction. What I really like was the way the author didn't describe the characters through appearance. The author described her characters through their actions, for example "he smiled and ruffled his taller dongsaeng's hair", leaves the reader thinking that the character must be affectionate and loving. However, the characters did not develop very much. At the beginning, the main character was weak and as the story progressed, the character over came their conflict by seeking refuge from someone else's comfort. I personally found that really annoying as the author portrayed the main character as a fragile person, but I guess the character being weak made the story sweet and heart-warming.
Narative Elements: (25/30)
The delivery of second person was used efficiently and it flowed well in the story. There were few minor mistakes and not much was stated about the setting, which I think was really necessary as the story is revolved around hidden feelings.
Plot and Theme: (23/35)
The plot was cliche, the paragraphs were cluttered, there was so much dialogue, the main character was weak and I find that the dialogue between the characters were kind of repetitive. All negative things aside, the ending was described really well, especially the kiss scene between the two characters. It was very sweet and heart-warming which made it seem like an innocent kiss between two friends. The ending was simple yet meaningful. It left me smiling even after I finished the story.
Entertainment Factors: (6/10)
Overall, I wasn't really interested throughout the story until the ending. The plot wasn't really eye-catching and the dialogue was repetitive. I found the main character really useless which made me annoyed as he kept whining. Towards the end, the story became very pleasant and cute. The ending was beautiful, although it wasn't described thoroughly, I think it was one of the best endings I had ever experience.
Overall Score: (81/120)
REVIEWER'S NOTE:
I really enjoyed this oneshot and really recommend it to readers who enjoy a bit of fluffly friendship. It was really cute and heart-warming towards the end, but if the author were to edit the story, I think the author should cut down some of the dialogue and add more description, especially since the author's descriptions are well written. It would make the story more engaging and a ton times beautiful.
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