‘Your small wings just want to fly towards me…’

Sweat and heat are the two things that formed the ambience of the small room, as heavy and uneven breaths were heard. The idol group was busy practicing their steps and their positioning the whole day – since the tomorrow was their debut concert.

They turned and they curved as the music played along, rhythm and melody blend together as the notes played came to an end. The trainer then signaled them for a break as everyone sighed in relief and sat comfortably on the floor, trying to savor the moment before it gets out of their hands.

“Man, this practice is one of the most intense ones I have ever experienced”, the giant blurted as he rotated his head from left to right to crack some nerves free from stress and fatigue. Beside him was Baekhyun who was drinking a bottle of water as he crossed his legs to sit properly.

“Well, tomorrow is the day, I am excited and at the same time a little nervous of what’s going to happen.”

“Why be so nervous, hyung? It’s not like this is our very first concert”, the blonde-haired Sehun replied, as he laid his whole body to the ground.

Everyone was trying to get a chance to rest; even Kai took a little nap beside Tao at the far end of the room where their bags were placed. It wasn’t that they were being abused or anything, but they had to work hard for the concert since they were also cramming on other segments and it needed a whole lot of polishing.

But amidst the pressure and the hard work, Xiumin stood their blankly, he didn’t feel like taking a rest, nor was he feeling sleepy, rather he felt a little bit empty – or he was feeling completely empty.

He stared at the garnished wooden floor for what seemed to be forever, he didn’t even know how much time he spent marveling at the sight of the floor himself. Today was the day he confirmed to himself that this was the saddest day of his life, he didn’t want to remember it, much likely he wanted to sleep for the next days just to not see it, but even though he wanted to forget, it was still there – aching deep inside his heart.

“Baozi? Is there anything wrong?”, an angelic voice called out in front of him as he snapped out to reality and faced the only person who addressed him by that nickname.

“Nothing is, Luhan. I’m fine.” He lied. He made a pretentious yet gentle smile to assure the deer that he was perfectly fine, he didn’t want the latter to worry or even get depressed the same way he was just because of his stupid emotions, they had a lot to think of and more importantly, they had to put their minds and hearts for their concert.

“I wouldn’t really say you are fine if you kept staring at the ground for ages, Minseokkie, tell me what’s wrong”, Luhan insisted as he puffed his cheeks to show Xiumin that he was ‘angry’. The older just let out a chuckle as he placed a hand on the younger’s right shoulder.

“I’m fine Luhannie, I am just really getting nervous for the concert.” He looked into Luhan’s eyes just to make him sure that he was fine, as if the pain didn’t ache or as if the pain wasn’t even there.

Luhan placed a hand over the Xiumin’s as he made one of those angelic smiles he usually does when he looks at the latter, as he took Xiumin’s hand to kiss it.

‘I see you waving your hand beckoning me to go to your side…’

“You sure you’re gonna be okay?” those words made another raw wound inside him, as Xiumin struggled to stop the tears from falling.

‘How could I be okay, when I know you won’t be there’, he thought as he smiled at the younger’s actions.

“Yeah. Of course, I will,” with a quick nod, Luhan then let go of Xiumin’s hand as Luhan patted his head.

“Hyung! Come over here! I need to show you something”, Lay called out to Luhan who was holding his phone and seating near the mirror edge as Luhan looked at his direction and gave a nod to tell him that he was coming.

“You know you can just go ahead, I’ll be fine here”, Xiumin assured him once more, as he made another one of his gummy smiles that Luhan loved about him.

“Cute.” Was the only comment Luhan gave as he planted a kiss on his forehead before heading towards Lay. Xiumin watched him run to the other direction as his vision started to go a blur when tears began to run down his puffy cheeks.

He covered his mouth with his left hand to cover the emotion he was enduring for so long, he was fortunate that everyone was busy doing their thing and he was left alone there to cry a little even just for a moment.

His smile, his laugh, his eyes – everything about Luhan made him tremble more in sorrow, that someone who made his heart melt like crazy, and that someone who made him feel the only thing no one has ever made him feel, was soon going to fade into only an unforgettable memory.

“Those pitiful eyes, that story is too complex – it was that night that you blew into my heart and I kept you…’

The day ended well as the twelve arrived at their condominium unit. Chanyeol ran happily to the living room as he jumped into the sofa and turned the television on. Baekhyun then followed suit as he sat beside the giant, leaning his head on the other’s shoulder comfortably.

“No PDA.” D.O rolled his eyes at the sight of the two, as he went on his way to the kitchen to prepare dinner for them.

“Kyungsoo seems a little bit pissed, don’t you think Junmyeon?” Chen giggled as he stopped his tracks on the stairs to wait for Suho who was practically carrying all the load, because they all left their bags in front of the door and he had no choice but carry them up; so much for being a leader that is.

“Yeah, but I’ll be more pissed if you don’t help me here”, he clamored as he glared at Jongdae who made a sweet puppy smile before running up the stairs and hurriedly slammed the door locked as he reached his shared room with Suho.

“Aish, ya! Get back here!” the leader placed all the bags at beside the television set as he rushed his way up to chase the mischievous other, slamming and kicking the door as he successfully broke the knob and stormed in.

“He probably kicked the heck out of Jongdae”, Kai commented as he went in and voluntarily carried the heavy bags.

“You mean he ed the heck out of Jongdae”, Chanyeol emphasized as he continued to concentrate on his TV show.

Xiumin was already upstairs together with Luhan in their room. Luhan was rubbing his wet hair with a dry towel as Xiumin sat on the edge of the bed. He felt tired, mixed with a little depression that he was still feeling. He didn’t have the strength to utter a word nor did he even want to eat dinner.

“Minseokkie, what’s wrong?” Luhan’s worried tone woke his attention as he faced the deer. The younger then walked towards the bed and sat beside Xiumin as he cupped his hands on the latter’s puffy face.

‘I can’t stop thinking about your cute appearance, that fascinated me; even my soul is caring for you…’

“Is this what you really want? Are you sure about this?” Xiumin wasn’t thinking about the choice of words that he chose to blurt out anymore; all he wanted now was a sure confirmation – a sure yes or no, that would make him ready for what he was to do sooner or later. He looked at Luhan’s eyes, pleading, begging to give him the right answers, but then again he knew the answers were all written in Luhan’s face, and he knew the truth wasn’t what he wanted.

“I thought we already talked about this Minnie…” he looked away from the elder, as he softly gripped the sheets of the bed. He felt bad, he knew the only person he loved would hurt, no, he already did hurt him. Ever since he chose to go his path, he knew from the very beginning this would hurt Xiumin more than it would hurt him – but then he didn’t have any choice. He was battered and coiled into a chain deep inside, and all he wanted was to break free from all of it.

“But why can’t you just stay? They can give you a break, the managers can give you a year off if you want, why can’t you just -“

“Minnie, you know why I need to go, and you know that I don’t want to leave you, but you see this burden is too much for me to carry…”

“Please, Hannie just please… stay… Don’t go…” tears started to fall from the bun’s eyes as he sobbed hard. He knew, he understood but it was too hard for him to swallow and to accept – his deer was leaving for good. He wasn’t the first one to know, since Luhan had announced it to everyone a week before. He knew Luhan didn’t get enough sleep, he saw the trainers trying to squeeze out Luhan too much in practices and rehearsals, and he took care of the deer when he was in high fever due stress and unforgiving pressure that was given to him – Luhan couldn’t avoid those since he was the ‘face’ of the group after all, but his body wasn’t that strong enough for him to carry on, nor was his patience that long to be abused like that all the time.

‘Shining tears, my heart can’t bear to see you hurt….’

Luhan hugged Xiumin tightly as the elder was still sobbing, his eyes started to water as well, the thought of leaving his bun alone made a big hole in his heart, he didn’t and he never wanted to leave Xiumin alone, but at this state of being, he knew he couldn’t take the atmosphere anymore, he was suffocating deep inside, gasping for fresh air, if he wasn’t feeling that way, he could’ve stayed a little while longer, but he couldn’t stand it anymore.

”Is this your final decision?” Xiumin with crystal brown eyes looked at him, spending this last night with his lover.

“You sure you’re gonna be okay?”

“If I was given a wish right now… I just really want you to stay…”

Luhan kissed the tears away from Xiumin’s cheek as he slowly pressed his lips onto his; he moved his head slowly as he passionately kissed his bun. They slowly moved to lie on their bed when Luhan broke out of the kiss, where he was already settled on top of the latter.

“I know I can’t make your wish come true, but one thing’s for sure, I love you, no matter where you are or where you’ll go, just remember that I am always right beside you, I’ll walk with you forever…” he planted a chaste kiss on Xiumin’s lips one more time before he surrendered, lying on the elder’s chest.

Xiumin continued to cry, as he held his deer close to him,  he knew it was inevitable, the truth hurt, but he had no choice but to live with the aching truth, but for as long as the pain lasted, he knew from the very bottom, that he loved Luhan, and he wanted the best for him.

“I love you…”, was all he said before he too closed his eyes, and gave in to his calm slumber.

Luhan opened his eyes at the simple reply, snuggled his head onto the other’s chest as tears fell onto his eyes.

“I’m sorry…”

‘So baby, don’t go…’

It was the day of the concert; the twelve were already scurrying to get inside the car to make sure they weren’t late for tonight’s concert. They were already in their jackets that had the group’s logo. They were all ready and prepared for the concert. The manager’s suggested to let them do their make up on their condo so that they wouldn’t have any delays.

When all of them was in, the engine then turned as the car ran at its pace to get to the stadium. The Korean group went in on the first van while the Chinese group was on the other.

Xiumin sat at the right side of the car close to the window, whereas Luhan was sitting next to him. Lay and Tao were at the back of the car trying to get a little power nap while Chen was at the front seat listening to music – yes, they were five of them left, but soon enough it would end up as four. Kris had left unexpectedly without anyone knowing, but as for Luhan who actually asked for them to let him go, probably made them disappointed and sad, but in the end they had to accept it. He was tired definitely.

Xiumin was busy scanning the buildings and other places that passed by as they travelled; Luhan looked at him, admiring how cute his baozi was and how his eyes would always sparkle.

He would miss his cheeks snuggled up on his neck every time Xiumin wanted to sleep, he would miss the sweet stare that Xiumin would give him just to tell him that everything will be alright. Those puffy cheeks that grow like a balloon every time the elder pouted when Luhan won’t give him what he wanted; that gummy smile that would always wipe his tiredness and worries away, and would enlighten his world each and every day.

But what he would miss most were the sweet words of ‘I love you’ every night when they had time to be with each other. Those passionate kisses that sent shivers down his spine when his bun would moan in between them. Those memories of him and Xiumin were the simplest reminders of how happy he was even though he was already at the brink of breaking down. His Minnie made everything better, a light of hope that always made him feel that everything will be just fine.

Xiumin from what seems to be, noticed Luhan staring at him from the reflection he caught at the car's window when they passed an underground passageway. He looked to see what was going on, with a confused face drawn at the same time.

“Is there some dirt in my face?”

Luhan laughed softly as his lovely bun asked, he pinched the latter’s cheek and kissed his nose.

“I was just checking you out as if it was the first time I saw you ~ “

Xiumin felt a sudden heat rise up to his cheeks as he started to puff them and make a pout. Luhan couldn’t contain himself as he saw his lover blush at his words – he moved closer to Xiumin, planted a chaste kiss on his lips as he pinched Xiumin’s cheek once more.

“No PDA” Tao and Lay said altogether as their sleepy eyes glared at the two in front of them. They both laughed at the complaint as Xiumin went on to lean his head on Luhan’s shoulder.

“Let’s enjoy this while we still can…” Xiumin said as he snuggled his cheeks on the younger’s shoulder as he closed his eyes to take a little nap.

‘Like the wind, I’ll travel anywhere with you…’

The crowd went wild as the members went around the stage to shake the hands of those who were standing at the front row, screams and the hearty shouts of their names made them happier and content seeing the smiles on their faces.

They were singing the song ‘Lucky’ when Luhan raised an arm and waved at the people, as the fans followed his gesture while singing with him. He began to feel tears overflowing on his eyes, thinking how he would miss this soon. He knew he wouldn’t experience this kind of happiness anymore when he leaves, without s, he wouldn’t feel the same thrill and excitement he would only feel – when they were one.

He wiped the tears using his thumb as he continued to sing his lines, when Xiumin appeared from behind and sang with him as he clutched his arm on the younger’s shoulder. The fans screamed even more when they made yet another heart shape in front. As Luhan looked to his baozi, seeing the happiness he couldn’t describe, made him feel that this was one of the happiest days of his life, sharing one last moment with Xiumin on center stage.

‘Oh we have to fly together to the most center of the world…’

The song ended smoothly as Luhan gave out a flying kiss to the audience, as a sign of saying ‘goodbye’ to them, at least ,for one last time, he had experienced a breathtaking crowd happy with his hard work even though he had been into a lot of unwanted situations. It relieved him, it truly did, and with that he thanked everyone for it, deep down his heart.

It was the end of the concert when Luhan walked away to the right side of the stage as Lay approached him and held his left hand. The latter squeezed it as he whispered to him.

“Thank you for everything, hyung. You are always the best. Good luck. Always remember that we will always be here to support you.” He smiled at Lay’s touching words when he felt another hand clutching his right shoulder, he didn’t look at who it was but instead he clutched his arm around the man as he knew the feeling of his touch – it was Xiumin.

‘When you’re with me, you’ll never disappear or go missing…”

Luhan went to the right to wave at the fans saying good bye to them, whereas Xiumin silently escaped from Luhan’s hold and went on to the back stage. He walked as fast as he could so that no one could see. When he reached the door to his dressing room, he stopped there as he started to tremble – he was crying, he knew this was the last time he would ever be with Luhan on stage; the last time he would ever squeeze his deer’s hands to tell him that he shouldn’t be nervous, and as long as he was around, everything will be okay.

He broke down in more tears as he fell on his knees, covering his face. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye, he wasn’t ready to see him leave. All he wanted now was for time to stop even just for a moment, just to spend one eternity of stagnancy with his one love.

“Good bye…”

‘Your memories and even your future will be full of my footprints…’

It was 6:30 am in the morning; Luhan was already dressed for the day as he held onto the baggage that he was going to carry on the way to the airport.

Today was the day, and he was ready to face whatever consequences he would have. He had to, because this was what he wanted.

He scanned through the picture frames that were placed on the cabinet before putting them in the bag, picture of him and his Minnie during their happiest days together, it might have been a sweet escape as they kept this a secret to the managers, but all the while as he thought about it, it was all the more a memory he would forever keep with him.

He fixed his hair before moving his bag to the door, when he looked back at his lover, who has still soundly asleep. He was exhausted, and even when Luhan wanted to say his good bye to his one and only, he tried to restrain since he knew how hard the elder worked the other to day to make the concert a success.

He walked towards the edge of the bed, as he bent down to look at his baozi for one last time. Memories then flashed onto his mind as he marveled at the beauty of Xiumin asleep – the sweet scent of coffee and sugar, the shivering feel of skin to skin and the undying flame of love that he would never feel afterwards were the only things that ran on his head over and over, as tears fell down to Xiumin’s forehead.

He kissed Xiumin’s temple, crying even more on the thought that he wouldn’t get to see his lover for a very long time, and that even to this day, he wouldn’t see the morning smile that made him light and content.

“Good bye, Minnie… I love you…” he whispered his farewell as he stood back up, pulled his luggage with him and slowly left the room.

‘Oh, like the you I dreamed of, you are my life, that beautiful butterfly…”

As he went down to the living room, Luhan was welcomed with warm smiles and teary eyes as the other nine members lined up at the exit to bid him their goodbye.

“You didn’t wake Umin?” Chanyeol asked as he wiped a tear with a tissue.

“He seemed tired, I didn’t want to bother, but its okay, I already said goodbye”, he replied as he walked towards them.

“We’re gonna miss you, hyung”, Jongdae said as he lowered head, eyes swelling with tears as he sniffed.

“Always remember to keep safe”, Kyungsoo added as he gave Luhan a hug.

"Thank you and we will forever be thankful that you came into our lives, hyung.” Suho, who was now sobbing hard, hugged Luhan tightly before Baekhyun had to force him out.

Luhan smiled at everyone as they said their thanks and goodbyes - bidding tue same farewell to the group that made him who he is right now. The group he could never forget – the group that he called his family.

As he walked out of the dorm, he reminisced all the happy memories he had, from getting to know each other, from making close connections and soon falling in love with the person who took care of him ever since he came to Korea. Those precious memories he would always look up to make him remember that every day will always be something to look forward to.

As he was about to enter the car, he looked at s from afar for the last time as he happily smiled and waved. Tao was crying really hard while Chanyeol was trying to cry but was trying to hold a laugh because of the panda’s intense emotions. Suho made a gentle smile and waved back. Kyungsoo couldn’t hold any longer and started crying as Kai rubbed his back to ease the pain.

He was happy, he really was. He continued to get in the car, and as he slammed the door closed, the car then began to move on its way.

When he heard everyone shouting goodbyes, Xiumin opened his eyes, he was awake the whole time, ever since Luhan was still packing – tears started falling from his eyes, as it was the only thing left he could do.  He sat up from his position as he felt a piece of paper beside him – he lifted it up and saw a note with Luhan’s handwriting saying:

‘This isn’t a memory, but a milestone in both our lives. One of the happiest days… Puing-puing ~ ^_^’

He flipped the paper to see what was behind – he covered his mouth as he cried even more at what he saw. It was his and Luhan’s picture during the concert, when they both made a heart shape, singing their last song together. He kissed the picture and placed it in his chest as if he was hugging it tight.

“Luhannie… I love you…”

As the car drove, Luhan was listening to music as he sang along with it, and as he was about to change the song, he stopped to admire the face that made his day one of the best days of his life – his Minnie. The picture was Xiumin making another puffy face after Luhan told him he was pretty. He knew Xiumin didn’t like to be called pretty, since he knew he looked much like a female.

He made a breathy chuckle at the memory, when his eyes turned calm. He closed his eyes, a tear falling from his right cheek as he tried to remember how Xiumin felt when he was snuggling on his shoulder, wanting to take a nap.

“I’ll enjoy this while I still can, Minnie… I will.”

‘Oh, like the you I dreamed of, you are my life, that beautiful butterfly…”

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Hey guys! So how did it go? > w < 
I just missed Luhan too much Q u Q It made me really sad. Q A Q 
 

Anyways I would like to say thank you for those who read it Q u Q I really tried my best Q u Q

Just comment or message me if you want to suggest anything ^_^
I am always glad to entertain you :)

Thank you ~~~~ //bows

Puing-puing ~ ^_^