One
A Band-Aid Can't Fix the Bullet Hole"Would you ever want to have more kids?" He looked up at the ceiling while asking, too comfortable to move even in the slightest. It was completely silent in the room, aside from the sound of their voices.
"I don't know what I want. I mean, Iseul is almost three, so if we want to, I want it too be soon. Having kids so many years apart is rough." The girl, on the other hand, shifted her body to the side so that she could face him. She had been dropping hours at work to care for her child, but this was on of the few moments where her and her husband were able to be alone. Yes, she missed her child, their child, but being alone comforted her.
"If that's what you really want. I thought you wanted to go back to work and get back in the OR. The return of The Evil Queen!" Laughter filled the room, and soon Chaerin remembered what it was like to be this happy. It hadn't happened in such a long time. For the longest time, Chaerin had thought she had used all her happiness up. But now, she guessed she was wrong. There was, in the very back regions of her mind, thoughts that something was missing. Those combined with thoughts that she was somewhat faking all of this. "It's weird her not being here. I mean what are we supposed to do?" The man sighed and puffed his cheeks out. Though he still had a job, there nights where it was up to him to care for their child.
"Sleep Ji Yong. Sleep." Chaerin replied. Ever since Iseul had been born, black circles marked themselves under her eyes. Sleep had never come easy, and the memory of her encounter with a man she never wanted to see again made it even harder. She hadn't told Ji Yong at the time, work was stressing him out and knowing his wife's best friend was around would've just weighed him down even more. Sure, it was probably wasn't the best move to keep something like that inside, but who was it going to hurt other than herself honesty? "Actually, can we talk?" Her voice suddenly taking a 360 in tone.
"Anything you want Chae." This time, Ji Yong turned to look Chaerin in the eyes. He could tell she was tired and wish he could've responded with a 'Later, you get some sleep'. But that probably would've made her upset. Ji Yong had learned that Chaerin isn't good at keeping her insides to herself.
"I-you.......Will you still love me if I were to have a another girl? I hear men saying it's so important to have boys and I have all girls in my family and I don't want to to be disappointed in me-" As her rambling went on, Ji Yong pulled her on top of him and silenced her with a tender kiss.
"Lee Chaerin. I will never stop loving you. When a leave for work, all I can think about is coming home and seeing you and Iseul. When I see you at work, it's so hard not to come up and just kiss the hell out of you. I will love whatever child we have, and I will never, ever be disappointed in you." Once finished himself, Ji Yong kissed her again, and it escalated to the goal of trying for another child.
"Chaerin, Chaerin! I'm going to get Iseul from that play date. You just stay here, hangout, and I'll get us dinner." How long had she been sleeping? She didn't even remember falling asleep. By the time the clock showed, her nap lasted a half hour. Ji Yong stood, clothed, and was fixing his hair.
"Ji, did you have a on?" Wrapping a sheet around herself, Chaerin looked a tad concerned.
"No. Was I supposed to? I thought you meant let's try now. Why? Are you mad?" Immediately he directed his attention away from the mirror to his wife.
"No, it's fine I guess. Just get Iseul, I miss her already. Oh, and can you pick up a cake from Bochung? I'm hungry." Ji Yong nodded, grabbed his keys, and headed out, leaving Chaerin to her thoughts.
Chaerin wasn't mad or anything like that, just more surprised. Chaerin wasn't ready for anything baby, there was no way she could handle two screaming human beings in the same one mile radius. And all she really wanted was to be in the hospital, playing God like all the other surgeons got to do. Being a housewife wasn't her, it never was and never will be. The only place where Lee Chaerin belonged is holding a scalpel in an operating room. Not playing wifey at home. She missed being able to go to the hospital whenever she wanted. Yes, there where times when they contacted her to come in, but nowadays it wasn't as often as she wished it to be. She had already given Ji Yong a child, what more could he want.
"No," thinking aloud, "I'm being selfish. I want another child. One that'll be just like the old me." Was it odd she had to convince herself that she wanted another child? That she couldn't answer. Was it a bad thing that she tried to incredibly hard to trying and cling to the past? Or what it a bad that thing that she was terrified of what the future would bring? Life had treated her well recently, so she knew something had to go wrong soon. That's just how it worked. "The old me." Muttering quietly out loud, Chaerin got up, went to the bath tub, and started running the water. "The old me. The old me that I miss." Even though Chaerin had subconsciously desired this type of happiness for has long as she could remember, she honestly just wished for a relapse into her old ways. Her old life. The life she felt safe in. What Lee Chaerin felt was a carbon copy being made by Ji Yong.
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