3. Goodbye (Reset)

“Can we really not go back to how we were… to the day where we first bumped into each other?
I guess we can’t go back to that day… please, oh please
Possibly… maybe… if you are smiling too, for my sake
If it’s really like that, come back now.”

“Hae… Last year, this exact day you came to my house and told me you wanted to break up with me, because you didn’t love me anymore. Today, what are you doing? You’ve barged in to my apartment, kissed me, and now you tell me you love me again? Donghae, I can’t accept you like this, you should know it by now that what you did cannot be reversed—”

“But Fany, I really do love you… I was stupid at that time to break up with you, I wasn’t thinking straight, and I was screwed then. I don’t know why I did that; it was pure stupidity on my part. I—”

She held up a hand, looking away and blinked her tears away.

“Do you understand what you’re saying, Donghae? You’re asking me to take you back after a year. Do you know what I’ve been doing? Would you like me to tell you? When you broke up with me, I cried my ing heart out. I cried day and night. I practically emptied my soul out crying!”

Her voiced raised several decibels again as she spoke once more, “I didn’t stop crying like that until a month later, but I was still hurting. I thought of you every day, and waited for you to come back… You never did. You know, looking back now, I was stupid for wasting those tears on a jerk like you.”

“Tiff—”

“Leave, Donghae, leave.”

“Fany—”

“Leave and don’t ever come back again!”

Tiffany grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the door, throwing him out and slamming the door. She slumped against the wall, hugging her knees close to her chest as she shook violently with sobs. As much as she’d love to say she handled that well, all that just made her think about him again, and that would trigger all sorts of emotions.

She couldn’t believe he actually asked her if they could go back to what they were before. That was the past, now was the present, and she couldn’t go back. Not when she was already almost ready to stand on her own feet again.

Tiffany wiped her tears with the back of her sleeve and stood up. It was time to let go.

She took the steps up to the attic, which held all those treasures she once loved so much when she was with him. The day of the break-up she’d dumped all this into the attic. Switching on the dim lights, she pulled her hair into a bun as she looked through all of the things.

Photograph: 4^th September 2009

It was a picture of Tiffany on the swing. She remembered that 2009 had been the year Donghae had gotten obsessed with cameras, so they took many photos. This one was just one of them.

“Oh come on, Fany, one more picture? You’d look perfect!”

“No! I’ve had enough of pictures for today, Hae! Why don’t I take one of you?”

“You’re photogenic, I’m not. Your argument is now invalid. Quick, go sit on the swings and pose for me.”

“Oh fine. FINE!”

I groaned inwardly and sidestepped to the swing, sitting down and smiling naturally at the camera. Just then, a butterfly fluttered past. I turned to look at it, fascinated for a moment, reaching out to touch it, but I was too late.

I heard the click of a camera and turned.

“You took a picture when I wasn’t ready!”

“Pictures turn out beautifully when you’re not prepared for them. Besides, you looked so cute like that, with your mouth open and smiling a little.”

I just rolled my eyes and got off the swing. “Whatever.”

Reminisce, a compilation of songs by Lee Donghae: 5^th December 2010

It was that album that he’d presented to her early December. She remembered that it was a cold winter, and she had gotten very sick. Down with a bad case of flu, she was in bed for weeks.

“How is my love doing today? I hope you’re feeling better than yesterday.”

I smiled weakly as he came to sit by my bed, holding a bag in his hands that he carefully placed on the table. I wondered what it was, but didn’t voice out my questions, for fear that my voice would scare him.

He smiled back gently, cupping my face and leaning in. I knew what was coming, but I was excited nonetheless. He laughed softly before pecking my lips.

“How I wish I had healing powers. Then we could go do something now instead of sit here and watch you notget better.”

I laughed softly as he sighed, somehow disappointed with his lack of super powers. I shook my head, telling him that I loved him even if he couldn’t heal me with a kiss, and that our life wasn’t a fairytale, so there was no point believing in such things.

“Well… I know you’re bored at home a lot when I’m not around, so I made a compilation of piano pieces and well… here it is. I named it Reminisce, because it’ll help you remember me when I’m not around.”

Tiffany smiled. What he said had come true in the end, somehow. He wasn’t around anymore, and this compilation would not only help her remember, but also forget. She stepped towards the stereo and inserted the CD in. Her mind drifted into dreamland for a bit as she listened to the first song.

Time to forget, Tiffany.

Promise ring: 10^th November 2010

This one she’d remember forever. She remembered wearing it around her neck all day long with a string attached to it. Given to her on their third anniversary, she treasured it dearly. Unfortunately, that was the last gift he’d given to her before they broke up. Ironically, it was a promise ring.

“Tiffany… I love you. On this very special day I’d like to tell you this over and over, but there are far more important things. First of all, you’re the most precious jewel in my life. I thank God for you; thank God for the fact that you’ve been by me for three years running, enduring my stupid ways, enduring those days we fought so much… You endured through all of it. Secondly, I thank you for accepting me in the first place, and I know even though I’m not that much of a romantic… You accepted me anyway. The thing is… I have so much more things to say, but I can’t remember it now, for some strange reason. I suppose it’s because I’m nervous but… Here’s something I prepared for you.”

I gasped as I saw the ring, studded with tiny diamonds all over, shining in the dim light of the apartment. It must have been expensive.

“Hae you shouldn’t have—”

“No, no. I’d give anything for my beautiful Fany. This is a promise ring. I promise you, Tiffany Hwang Miyoung, I’ll love you forever and ever.”

“I will too.”

Funny how things change so fast, huh? Nearing the end of December, about a month and a half after he said that, he’d broken up with her. Tiffany suspected that he had another girl; it might’ve been Yoona or even Jessica, who were extremely wary and cautious around her after she’d been given the promise ring.

When it happened, she wasn’t just upset. She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t jealous. All she felt was hurt.

If anyone asked her how she felt then, one thing and one thing only—hurt. Hurt from the betrayal of her trust he’d given him, betrayal of her love she’d showered him with… Just one word summed up everything—hurt.

She felt tears at the side of her eyes again. I’m not going to cry, she told herself. Standing up and turning off the stereo, Tiffany took the key to the attic and left the room, closing the door.

“I wish I could reset everything, Donghae, but then again, what you did was unforgiveable. I’m sorry that things can’t go back to the way they were before. Goodbye, Donghae.”

That having been said, she closed her eyes as she locked the door.

Goodbye, she thought once more, and threw the key out of the window, for real this time.

A/N: Happy birthday Jessica! I hope I’m not too late! It’s still 10^th November over here. And I actually was supposed to rest today but… I decided to write it anyway since it couldn’t leave my mind. I hope it met your expectations.

To everyone else, the second chapter will come soon, but because as you can see it’s Jessica’s birthday, so… Hope you understand, and thanks for reading!