June 4, 2011

Suho catch his breath while take a seat on the bus in his usual spot since this past 2 year. He quietly sitting on the bus until he realize theres a beautiful boy with fine-sculptured facial features.

"why you're looking at me?" a cold, lifeless voice came all of sudden. Suho automatically tore his gaze away and fiddling with the strap of his backpack.

But Suho helplessly stealing glances at those eye again in a matter of minute. He got a fancinating dark eyes, so dark they almost looked black. And Suho's so distracted by him that he almost miss his stop.

Right before he move his feet to the door, the boy grab his wrist and shove a crumpled note into his palm. It's a contact number. With a name written messily in alphabet.

Kris, the paper say.

***

"aw! Yixing?! What the hell?!".

"the algebra test is tommorow, Suho"

 "can't you see i'm holding a book right now?!"

Yixing sigh "oh yeah.. I can see it. You're happily smiling with a drunken-like face while reading those alphabet mixed with insanely complicated number" Yixing move from his spot to Suho's bed "tell..me, what happen with that Kris guy? And don't try to deny it!"

Suho sigh in defeat "alright.. Like i could hide anything from you" he closed the book "..this Kris guy.."

"yes.." Yixing anxiously wait.

"..he..” Suho bite his lips “..He kissed me".  the voice came out so small it almost a breathy whisper.

"oh" and Yixing back to his spot. And stuffing himself with the books and notes for calulating the exercise.

With the lack of antusiasm, Suho snaps "ya! Yixing, i.got.kissed! Under the moonlight on the riverbanks inside his chevy with ariana grande's my everything play in the background!"

"yeah, so what? Should i spread sprinkles and congratulate you?"

"you seems un-enthusiastic" Suho frowns.

"listen, on the very beginning i've warn you. He'll take you to the most beautiful place in the world and kissed you in every perfect moment but then, he'll leave you in the most beautiful ways. And when he finally leave, you know why storms always named after people" Yixing declare “people like him, consider you and everybody else like a come and go thingy”

“why’d you so pesimistic huh? Kris is different. He mean all he told me,he never promise me the moon or other great thing. If he told me he’ll come tommorow at seven,he’ll come tommorow at 7.50. when he told me he’ll come with flowers, he’ll come with bouquete in his hand”

“convincing enough” Yixing nods “i just want you to prepare for the worst. Never, ever ling to something. Nothing in this world is steady. If you grip your hand way too tight, i’m afraid you’ll crumble”

“there’s no need to” Suho huff and decide to get some water from the pantry.

But then, the doorbell ringing, one after another. He walks hois way with a glass of water in his hand, not expecting this very person in this very time. Suho gasp "k-Kris??"

He lean on the door frame.with the signature smirk and shiny leather jacket "someone too busy to check on my text huh?".

Suho blinks multiply times "i-i don't think i got any".

Kris furrows his thick brows "did you even check your phone?" and Kris make his own way inside the dorm Suho on Yixing share.

He knock three times and get in "oh. You're clothed".

Yixing glare "..what do you mean by 'clothed'?"

"well.." Kris take a seat at the edge of Suho's bed "two gays living the same roof 24/7, i think that's a legit reason to be jealous for" Suho's cough echoing the room.

"never in a lifetime i want to get laid with him, Kris” Yixing closed the book “..in fact, maybe i'll prefer you, though" Yixing cheekily mocking.

“Yixing!”

“hey hey hey, just saying” he chuckle “beside, i don’t look forward to stealing my bestfriend boyfriend yet.i’m not even single right now”

"but still.." Suho pouts, and the entire room explodes in laughter with his cuteness.

“okay, enough for the appetizer. Let’s go to the main course, Joon-ya” he takes Suho’s hand "let's go to the balcony" and as usual, Suho follow suit.

They sits on the narrow wooden floor with the roam of the moonlight all over them. Kris spooning Suho from behind while Suho fit himself under Kris chin.

"why so sudden?" Suho start the conversation.

 "you know i'm unpredictable and that's what made you fallin' for me" Kris stealing a kiss on his cheek, twice each side.

"uh.. Yeah. Your narcism is untouchable" he giggle when Kris attacks him with tickle

Kris jingle a laugh and his adam's apple move up and down, and it's feel nice "oh, Do you have bandage then?".

"eum.. I'll check it on first-aid box first. Why? You hurt yourself again?"

"yeah" Kris turn Suho to face him and cup his small face "..i think i scrape my knee falling for you"

"gross!" Suho turn around to hide his blush "try to feeding mice here?"

"nope, you have to consume enough calcium to be strong enough being my rib-bone"

"oh gosh" Suho rolls his eyes "just come here already".

And the kiss happened to be the best thing he ever know after being an international chemistry olimpiad winner and his fifteenth birthday. For Suho, he’s the smell of warm happiness and when he kiss him, he tastes sweet like love. and Suho found himself are in love, so in love its burning like stars in the sky.

But what he don’t know is that those stars are falling.

***
"what?"

"oh thank's god you're answering. Where are you?"

"i'm busy Suho! stop disturbing me!" a thunder-like words storms Suho. And he found himself out of his strength.

"i-i'm asking you.. To.. To come to Ron's pizzaria. And you said you'll c-come. Remember?"

"i can't okay. I can't. I'm busy Suho. Can't you understand me? I got a meeting to attend"

Suho exhale, a deep breath exhale like he wants to flew away his upset along with the carbondioxyde "o-okay"

"i hung up”

 "wait!" Suho cuts him "Kris, i-i.. I love you"

"..hm". And all end up just like that.

Suho begin to see why his eyes are so dark.
***
To : Kris
Kris, i missed you.

11hours ago


To : Suho
Comr heere you lil . I'll smash you downhg the bed till ypu forget you own name anbd don't told that Yixing

Just now
***
"what? Drunk never been a legit reason for anyone to beat  you down like this"

"he's upset, Yixing. It's my fault"

"are you even living a relationship?! Huh?! How many time he left you in black and blue like this. Once? Twice? Nope. It always. ALWAYS end up like this" Yixing with his stern eyes, lift Suho's chin up "listen. Don’t you dare run back to him. Don’t you dare do that to yourself".

Suho's eyes goes glassy, along with his croak voice "you know i can't..".

 "it's crystal clear to see that he's been fallin out love from you! He lost his respect and care. You're not his slave. You ruin your own future. ing.leave him Suho!"

"i can't Yixing i can't! There'll always everytime i'll be missing him and end up bent down to ask him to come back to me" Suho grip tighten around his chest "it does hurts so much. But how can i supposed to live without him? Two years Yixing, he gave me love and certainity. It's only a hardship, we'll through this phase"

"you.are.indeed. Lose.your.mind” Yixing gets up from his seat “I understand that you'll missing him like crazy but I swear it’ll pass. Tell yourself that you can get through anything without him. He’s gone and goddammit keep it that way! There's nothing left to love, Suho”
 

eventhough tears still gather
***
The glass scaterred on the floor, and the liquor he hold the whole time since he brave himself enter the club, wet the the bar floor when he seeing Kris shoving his tongue down a stranger throat while Kris's hand wandering inside the ed jeans. Suho breath into a blackhole that formed inside his chest. He even too drunk to see Suho only ten steps away from the man's seat.

And his stupid leg led him to the corner where he witnessed Kris's betrayal making-up session, and lightly pull Kris's arm arm. Only to be punched and pinned with dirtied hand on the wall, while the wet pants of him grinding against Suho.

Suho had thought he didn’t show him enough love but in reality, Yixing was right.

there's nothing left of him to love.

***
june 4, 2015

"i like this Yixing guy you brought home today" his brother, jongin smiled while he sleep beside his brother for the first time in two years "he's your bestfriend from college right? Who save you from that bastard?".

Suho feel the hurt, and clench in his heart. But he manage to nods silently in the dark.

"junmyeon" jongin calls his little name as The bed shift because jongin sit "are you happy being with him?".

Without doubts, Suho agreed "yes. I never been felt this secured all this time".

But the thing is, no one ever told you about this kind situation and feeling.

No one ever told him that love and happiness is two completely different things.

***

Both eyes facing each other, but one Lost the remaining meaning eye gaze.

The tough long road had made they lost both loving eyes.

Eyes firmly closed, closed both eyes. You realize missed the eye gaze,

too late to.

They say, eyes is the window to your heart.

His were black.