(1/3)

10:12 am, i read the clock on the wall, i have been waiting for her for almost 12 minutes. I wonder why she is late, she is the most punctional person that i know plus i’m kind of important for her, she won’t—she shouldn’t make me wait like this, but 12 minutes waiting for my girlfriend it’s not big of a deal right.

I look at the clock again when the waitres bring my order, 10:18 am. Green tea latte for me, Americano for her, Sandwich for each of us. “ Waiting for your blondie girl, Taeng?”. I just give him nods and smile when she mentioned my girlfriend, “I like seeing you both when visit this cafe, you two make very cute couple! I hope you enjoy my cafe.” He bow politely and and excused his self back to the kitchen. Well i know both of us cute, no—she’s a goddess, she’s a beauty, she’s flawless creature that God made.

Watching people always fascinating me, see everybody movements, gestures, expression, the way they talk, move their body parts when talk—always fascinating me. Based on that, i can read people and that’s fun. Read people them make short assumptions based on their movements and guessing about their personalities. Although that’s not always 100% true but my guessing never far from the reality. I look at the untouched Americano infront of my half glass Greentea latte. Where’s she? 10:32 am, 32 minutes passed.. where’s she?

The bell ringing sign that someone come to the cafe, i look at the figure who stepped in to this cafe, tall; checklist, slender; checklist, blonde; checklist, white; checklist, beautiful; checklist, smile to me; unchecklist. Sure she’s my blondy, my girl, my Jessica but something gotten into her, i feel something bad will happens.

Her lips pressed into thin line, her eyes seems hide something, her mind seem not in here, her heart—i doubt where is her heart now. I offer her to drink her favorite coffee first but she said i come here just for say something to you. My heart tightened when she look at my eyes in worried and scared eyes. I try to not assuming anything but everything seems clear when she said,

“Let’s break up.”

At the moment she said those words, world seems like— stopped, my life seems like paused, everything, time, waiters, people who talking, kids who drinking, a wife who wipe her husband lips, people around me seems stop their movement and become blurred. My mind went to other memories, when i saw Jessica walk with tanned girl, when i caught their dates, when i saw Jessica’s conversation with ‘Yul<3’, when i saw they kissing in our bed. I never believe everything that Sunny said was true, My love, My girl, My Jessica is cheating behind my back. When i connecting every prove that i saw and heard about Jessica cheating behind me, now i understand it is true. The reasone she come back home so late, she never spend so much time with me again, she always reject me when i try to kiss her even when i try to hug her, that is because she cheating behind my back.

I look at her, she look worried but my logic playing in here, if she worried at me, why she cheating behind my back? I wonder why, she used to said i’m the one, i’m her only love and only one, i’m her everything— now i know maybe that’s only lies.

“Tae.. I’m sorry i should do this.. But maybe you have other choice?”

I keep look at her, other choice? Why you offer that? It’s because i’m good for you?

“Tae?” she reached my hand and squeeze it lightly.

I wonder what i should do now. It’s hurt, it’s so damn hurt, i want to cry, yell at her, burst all my feelings, tell her it hurt so much when you found out the person that you love so much cheating on you, tell her that it hurt so bad when you found out everything you said it was just big lies, tell her that my heart was breaking into pieces when you said those words. But i feel so lifeless, i have no energy again, not even for slap her hand that held my hand. I don’t know why it’s become like this, i feel like i have no soul again. Maybe that is because, the pain that she gave to me is too much?

“Tae I—“ i reached out my hand to my lap and look at her eyes. “Okay.” I stood up slowly when she held my hand again and said, “What do you mean?”

I yanks her hand she seem so shocked but i don’t care, “You said you want break up with me? I said okay. Thank you for amazing 1 year Jessica, if tomorrow you get something at your apartement that is from me for out last anniversarry.” I left her didn’t mind about her reaction. The fact that tomorrow is our anniversarry is killing me to because i have prepared everything for her but then it’s turn become nothing.

I thought life will always fair to me, but this time i feel this is so unfair. I always give the best for her, i always give everything she want, i never mad at her eventhough she do something that make me mad, i never raise my voice at her eventhough she screaming infront my face, never once in my life i do something bad to her, but why.. why she do this to me.

God.. for all entire life I always praised you, I trust you for never make me and people suffer, you are the wise that rule the world, you always give us happiness, put me in joy and fair, i always be grateful for everything you gave and did to me but this time I won’t do that anymore, because of this.. i won’t trust you anymore!