Sehun blinked rapidly as he sat at a cloth covered table, a glass of champagne in hand. Music was playing and people were chatting. He was at a table with some of his friends that he hasn't seen dress this well since senior prom. Sehun sighed remembering what he was here for.

Tonight was for celebrating. Tonight was for uniting. Tonight was for sealing the deal, however you want to call it. Basically, tonight was Luhan's and Jongin's night. The night they could finally legally showcase their love with a couple of rings and an exchanging of vows.

Tonight was also the night that any hope Sehun had of ever getting Luhan back dies.
 

It was a beautiful ceremony, Sehun had to admit. He was able to keep his smile plastered on his face and his tears behind his eyes. But after they exchanged "I do's" and started to put on their rings, Sehun started to imagine how it would feel like if he were in Jongin's place instead. How would it feel to hold Luhan's hand and slip a ring onto it? How would it feel to kiss the breath out of him while his family and friends cheered for their happiness? How would it feel to know Luhan wanted to be with him for the rest of his life?

Since the ceremony ended, Sehun's mood has been . While everyone else was clapping happily with smiles and tears of joy, Sehun tried to hide the fact that he was sulking. But it was completely reasonable. It's not every day that you attend your ex-boyfriend's wedding. Especially one that you're still in love with.

Most people wouldn't think of inviting their ex to their wedding, just to ensure that there's no drama or weird tension during your special day. But Sehun and Luhan had a unique relationship. After their break up a couple of years ago, they eventually became friends again. Being in the same group of friends, it wasn't that hard since they hung around each other all the time. Both parties were accepting of the change and were mature enough to put their broken relationship in the past so they could still maintain a friendship. Except one of them didn't accept the change. And one of them didn't want to put it in the past. It was easy because one of them was just so good at acting like it was.

It might have been easier on Sehun to move on if Luhan hadn't so quickly. Only a month after their relationship had abruptly ended due to Luhan's "heart not being in it" and "not feeling the spark anymore" Sehun noticed Luhan started to be quite friendly with one of Sehun's old classmates from high school. They were never close during those years but they knew of each other. Sehun saw all the signs of a new love forming. The sparkle in Luhan's eyes, the random grins while spacing out, the spontaneous giggles while checking a text. Sehun noticed them because he had seen them when Luhan fell for him.



"Hey Sehun, are you okay?" Tao suddenly asked, breaking Sehun out of his thoughts.

Sehun looked up and noticed that his table had gone quiet and all eyes were on him now. Everyone else had finished their food long ago and Sehun's was the only plate left on the table.

"Oh yeah," Sehun tried to play off. "I'm fine, I was just spacing out." He sat up in his chair and rolled his shoulders back. Sehun rapidly blinked as if to clear his mind.

"Okay well I was just worried. You were being so quiet I almost forgot you were here!" Tao chuckled, trying to lighten Sehun's mood. Sehun sent him a smile in appreciation.

Then suddenly the sound of spoons and forks tapping against wine glasses started. It got louder as more of the guests joined in, also tapping their glasses. All eyes were on the happy couple that were seated at the front of the venue. Everyone anticipated the kiss that the sound of tapping glass called for. Luhan blushed as he realized what his guests wanted him and Jongin to do. He tried to hide his blushing face behind his hands when Jongin turned to him and grabbed his hands, pulling them away from his face, and planted a sweet kiss upon his groom's lips. Luhan's cheeks reddened even more. Everyone started cheering at the public display of affection. Everyone except for Sehun. He began to wonder why he even agreed to coming.



When Sehun looked through the mail that one day a few months ago, the invitation had been at the bottom of the pile of envelopes. He would have missed it if it hadn't been his favorite color: purple. It was a simply designed white and purple card, nothing too outrageous. It was just elegant and beautiful, as Sehun should have expected from Luhan. He was a simple man but he also payed attention to detail.

Sehun stared at the card, unblinking, for a few minutes. As if he could will it away, as if boring holes into it with his eyes would make the words any less true. Maybe that was actually the day Sehun's hope of ever getting him back died. Because in that moment he felt a piece of his already weakened heart chip away. He felt his mask of false contentment falter.

Sehun sat in his bed that night, feeling like the four walls of his room were closing in on him, wishing that they would because anything was better than what he was feeling at that moment. He always thought that Luhan would come back to him eventually. He always thought that with time, Luhan would realize that Jongin wasn't for him, that he missed Sehun and run back to him. Sehun knew deep in his heart that he was meant to be with Luhan. But that night he painfully realized that he had been utterly wrong.



When Sehun got ready that morning, he put on his best dress clothes and styled his hair. He made sure he looked his best. When you look good, you feel good too right? Sehun wanted to ensure in every way that he wouldn't kill the mood of Luhan's special day.

He didn't want to be that crazy ex that caused a scene. He wanted to support Luhan and Jongin because that's all he could do at this point. He wasn't gonna stop the wedding. He wasn't gonna embarrass himself or Luhan or Jongin. He was gonna be another happy guest attending their wedding. He was gonna be happy for them.

Almost all of that changed when he saw Luhan walk through those doors.

Luhan looked breathtaking, to say the least. It wasn't because of the fresh tux that he wore, the expensive shoes, his styled slick back hair, or the layer of bb cream on his face that made him look beautiful. It was his eyes. It was the sparkle of overwhelming joy that they expressed paired with that beautiful smile that made him look like an angel. He would put any bride to shame. Luhan looked like happiness in its purest and truest form.

Luhan and Jongin locked gazes from across the aisle. No one could deny the love they had for each other. Their eyes said it all. They looked at each other like they were the only two in the room. In the world.

Suddenly all of Sehun's previous thoughts of supporting their marriage went out the window. Sehun wanted Luhan all for himself. Why did Jongin deserve to be with him? Why did Sehun only get to have Luhan for a couple of years when Jongin would have him for the rest of his life? What did he have that Sehun didn't? Sure, he was more handsome and more successful. But Sehun wasn't half bad either. What did Jongin ever do to deserve some as perfect as Luhan?

Sehun tried his best to keep in his anger throughout the ceremony and not let his emotions show on his face. But the only thing on his mind the entire time was "Why him?"

The dimming of the lights in the venue brought Sehun back to the present time. The dance floor was being cleared and lights were being focused on the center. The MC announced that the grooms would now be having their first dance. Luhan and Jongin slowly started to make their way to the floor, Jongin leading Luhan by the hand.

The music quieted down as someone began to play the piano. Three of their friends who were vocally gifted; Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and Joonmyun, moved to the front next to the piano. When they started singing, Luhan and Jongin wrapped their arms around each other, Luhan's around Jongin's neck and Jongin's around his waist. Soon they got into the flow of the music, swaying their bodies with foreheads pressed together and their eyes closed. They let themselves be engulfed by the words of the song. They let it surround them as they drowned in each other's embrace.

"The answer is you."

At those words, they both opened their eyes and stared into them. All of their attention was on each other. No one else mattered. Nobody except for the two of them existed in that moment.

"My answer is you."

Luhan smiled that same angelic smile that he had been sporting all day. Tears of joy began to well up in his beautiful eyes so he buried his face in the crook of Jongin's neck. When he lifted his head back up, his eyes were still glassy but that smile still remained on his face, that sparkle still in his eye. Jongin leaned in and whispered the next lyrics into Luhan's ear.

"You are my everything."

He wanted to hate him. Sehun wanted to hate Kim Jongin so badly. He felt like he did sometimes, but deep down Sehun knew that he could never hate Jongin. How could he when he makes Luhan smile like that? Like an angel.

In that moment Sehun finally realized what it was Jongin could do that he never could.

Jongin made Luhan happy.

Suddenly, the music was all too much and the champagne not enough. It felt like his tie was choking him and he couldn't breathe. After knocking back whatever was left in his glass, Sehun stood up and found a bottle of vodka. He bolted out the door, not seeing Luhan's worried eyes following him.

"No matter how much I think about it, it's you."

Sehun leaned back against a wall outside, his senses on edge. The cool autumn air chilled his skin. He took a swig of his almost empty bottle and his vision sharpened then blurred. His thoughts were in a haze. His mind jumbled from the alcohol flowing through his system. But one thing was clear. His heart. It beat solely for Luhan, for a man who would always be out of his reach. And Sehun hated it. Why was he so weak that his heart still belonged to someone who didn't even want it?

Sehun turned to the wall he was leaning on, took the last sip of his drink and walked back a few steps before hurling the bottle at the wall with an exasperated grunt. The bottle shattered with a loud crash into a thousand glass shards. Sehun felt sorry for the bottle as he stared at what was left of it, breathing harshly. The wall didn't even know that it had destroyed the bottle. The wall was left undamaged. Why did the wall get to continue on unharmed when the bottle would never be whole again?

Breathing heavily, Sehun walked to the edge of the sidewalk and sat down. He rested his elbows on his legs and buried his face in his hands, sighing tiredly. He was just so tired of everything. He was exhausted.

Sehun wiped away an angry tear that he didn't even know was there until he felt it running down his face when he heard someone walking up behind him.

"Sehun?"

Sehun stiffened. He knew who that voice belonged to. He'd know in his sleep.

"May I join you?" He asked hesitantly.

He contemplated telling Luhan no. He thought about telling him to go back inside and to enjoy the rest of his night. But he knew Luhan. He knew that he wouldn't be able to walk away from someone he could help. Especially after seeing the bottle Sehun had shattered into pieces. He nodded slowly and Luhan sat down next to him.

They stayed silent for a while. Luhan trying to figure out what to say and Sehun concentrating on controlling his emotions. He wanted push Luhan away until he was out of sight and pull him into his arms and kiss him until he couldn't breathe at the same. It took all of his willpower to do neither. After a while, Sehun spoke first.

"What if it was me?" He asked so softly that Luhan almost didn't catch it.

"What?" Luhan responded, caught off guard by the question.

Sehun felt guilty for asking such a question on his wedding night but he just needed answers. He needed his closure tonight, at this very moment, or else he might never get it.

"What if we were the ones getting married today?" Sehun couldn't control the words coming out of his mouth at this point. He felt the tears burning behind his eyes as he rambled on.

"What if I was the one who proposed to you? What if I was the one who stood on the other end of that aisle? What if I was the one who slipped that ring onto your finger?" Sehun was shaking, his stare fixed onto a patch of grass on the ground because he didn't dare to look Luhan in the face. Especially now, since the tears were a split second from spilling over.

Sehun shut his eyes and finally felt a tear slide down his face as he whispered the next question in a broken voice that sent a bullet straight through Luhan's heart.

"What if I was the one you fell in love with?"

Luhan was frozen at this point, barely breathing. He didn't know what to do. He knew that Sehun hadn't completely moved on after all these years. He could feel the lingering stares Sehun sent his way every now and then. But he never knew that it still affected him this badly.

Luhan attempted to defend himself even though it was futile. "I did love you. You know that." He said in a voice that made him seem unsure about his own statement.

"But not the way you love him. Not the way I love you."

Tears began to form in the corners of Luhan's eyes at the present tense form of the word of love. Even though he knew Sehun never moved on, he was still shocked at the confession. They remained silent after that, both had their gazes fixed towards the ground. Sehun waited for Luhan to say something and Luhan searched his mind frantically for a way to respond. Eventually Luhan sighed exarsperately. He might as well give up now.

"You knew, didn't you?" He asked though he was afraid of the answer.

"Yeah." Sehun answered, his head hanging low. He rubbed his face tiredly, then rested his forehead against his palms. "Yeah, I knew."

Near the ending of their relationship a couple years ago, Sehun sat curled up in his bed, feeling empty inside. He had just been sitting for the past two hours thinking, trying to figure out what went wrong. He had been too in shock to cry but now the initial adrenaline was starting to wear down and he could feel a lump forming in his throat.

He wanted to trust Luhan. He wanted to believe that the late nights out and secretive text messages meant nothing. But after what he had just seen, his suspicions were confirmed.

Luhan was cheating on him.

He started to suspect it a few months ago, when their relationship had started to slow down and their jobs and school started to make them busier than ever. Luhan seemed more than just physically distant and Sehun just felt that something wasn't right. They hardly got to see each other but they still remembered to call every day. That is until last week. Luhan missed Sehun's calls and didn't return any of them the past few days. Sehun didn't think much of it the first time but when it continued the next few days also he began to worry. Finally overwhelmed with his theories of what had happened, he decided to pay Luhan a visit at his apartment to get answers. He drove up in his car to Luhan's building when he saw him walking down the stairs from his second floor apartment with a man that looked strangely familiar. Sehun stayed in his car and watched the two men, trying to evaluate what kind of relationship they had.

He must be pretty damn important if Luhan can make time to see him when he can't even respond to any of his texts. Sehun thought at the time.

That was when Sehun saw them reach the bottom of the stairs and the two of them hugged rather tightly. They seemed too close for his liking. Next thing he saw was Luhan pull away a little, his arms still wrapped around the stranger's neck, and press a kiss onto the man's lips.

Sehun was too shocked to even feel angry. He just felt numb. His mind had gone blank. His eyes were open but they weren't focused on anything. His brain seemed to stop functioning, not allowing this new found information to process in his head. Next thing he knew, he was curling up in his bed, the pieces finally falling into place as the realization dawned upon him.

When Luhan broke up with him later on the month after that, Sehun listened to his reasoning with a empty heart. Luhan didn't even have the guts to tell him the truth. Sehun wanted to laugh at him, at himself. Did he really mean that little to Luhan? That he didn't think he even deserved the truth? Sehun was angry. He was angry at Luhan but even more with himself. How could he still be so in love with a man that put him through hell?

In the present time, Luhan let out a breath he had been holding in. He had been thinking of coming clean to Sehun that night, but it turns out he knew all this time. Again, he was at a loss for words. It would be a waste to ask him how he found out, it didn't matter at this point. He decided Sehun at least deserved an explanation.

"I felt lonely." Luhan started. "And I know that's no excuse but that's my reasoning, okay? We started drifting apart and it just happened. I don't know how it happened but it did." Luhan's emotions were all over the place and he spoke quickly. Like the words were finally rushing out of him after all this time. "When it started, I figured the sooner I break it off with you the better so I wouldn't be dragging you along." Luhan paused before continuing to the next part. "And when I did break up with you," he added hesitantly. "I was too scared to tell you the truth."

Sehun listened silently to Luhan's words. He continued on to explain how they decided to start seeing each other publicly a month after they broke up so Sehun wouldn't suspect anything. He was grateful for the explanation but after all these years, he didn't need it anymore. He just needed Luhan. He always just needed Luhan.

After Luhan finished, they sat in silence until Sehun spoke softly. He felt his heart breaking all over again. "Why couldn't it have been me?" His voice cracked as the tears began to fall. "I made you happy, didn't I? Didn't I make you happy too?"

Luhan refused to look at Sehun. His heart might break even more if he did. He held his breath and tried his best to hold back the tears as he listened to Sehun's broken voice. He caused Sehun to be like this. Luhan was afraid to speak, not trusting in his voice to allow him to talk without cracking.

His tears were falling hard, like raindrops on a stormy day, wetting Sehun's hands as he continued to stare at them. "I needed you Luhan," he whispered because he couldn't stand the sound of his shakey voice any longer. "And after all you've done to me, I still ing need you." He twisted his hands together, starting to feel the anger boiling inside him. "Why do you deserve to have my heart when you don't even give a about me?" Sehun scoffed.

Luhan defended himself. "I did care about you. Maybe not to the extent that you wanted me to but you can't say I never did, Sehun." It was getting harder for Luhan to hold back the tears. "But you're gonna find someone who makes you happy." Luhan tried to comfort him but the effort was toward a lost cause. "One day, you're gonna find someone who's gonna be all you've ever wanted."

After a few more sobs, Sehun finally, slowly, turned his head to look at Luhan. Their gazes met for the first time that night as Sehun smiled softly but it never reached his sad, glassy eyes. In a soft, shakey voice he said "I already did."

Luhan stayed silent as he stared into Sehun's eyes. All he saw was the love Sehun had for him, but he also saw the pain. He saw how much it hurt Sehun to love him. There was a pain in Luhan's chest and he suddenly felt like he was drowning. Luhan turned his head away aburtly as it was all becoming too much. He returned his sight to the ground as the tears he tried so hard to hold back finally fell.

"Sehun," he said in between sobs. "I'm so sor-"

"Please." Sehun interrupted tiredly. He was just so tired of everything already. He couldn't take it anymore. "Don't."

Both men continued to sit on the sidewalk. Both of them crying, one silently and the other sobbing. The loud one didn't think he'd be crying today out of pain and the silent one didn't think the tears would ever stop.

"What do you want me to do, Sehun?" Luhan asked in a broken voice, his lips quivering.

Sehun wiped the tears away from his face. They finally began to slow down. He turned to Luhan as he pulled himself together. This was gonna end tonight.

When Luhan looked into his eyes this time, there was a new kind of fire burning in them that covered the pain he saw earlier.

Sehun took a deep breath and started."I want you to go back inside. I want you to go back to your husband and enjoy your wedding night." It was difficult for Sehun to speak these words but he pushed himself. He wasn't gonna make Luhan feel guilty. He didn't want that. "I want you to live the rest of your life happily. That's all I want for you."

Luhan was surprised at Sehun's words. He was gonna argue with Sehun, question whether or not that's what he really wanted, but he could see that it was taking all of Sehun's strength to even say the words. He could practically feel how Sehun was falling apart at the seams and how he tried to cover it with a false confidence.

Suddenly, Luhan wrapped his arms around Sehun's neck. He didn't know why he hugged him but he just hated seeing Sehun like this. He held on tighter and buried his face in his neck until Sehun reciprocated by wrapping his arms around Luhan's torso.

"Okay," Luhan started. "But on one condition." Sehun stayed silent waiting for Luhan to continue as his brain finally realized that Luhan was hugging him. Luhan was in his arms. He felt Luhan's soft eyelashes and his nose pressed up against his neck and god this felt like heaven.

"I want you to find happiness too. I don't want you to be stuck on me, Sehun." Luhan murmured, sounding like he was gonna cry again. His warm breath puffed against Sehun's neck. "I want you to promise me."

Sehun nodded slightly, his cheek rubbing against Luhan's soft hair. "Okay. I promise."

Luhan turned his face away from Sehun's neck but continued to lean on him. He held out his pinky to Sehun. Luhan sniffled before asking, "Pinky swear?"

Sehun stared at Luhan's pinky as he held it out and was suddenly taken back two years ago when they were in this same exact position, sitting in a park somewhere during the early stages of their relationship. They had just made up after an argument and Luhan had asked him to pinky promise that they would love each other forever.

Oh, the irony, Sehun thought now in the present time. He made me promised that I'll love him back then and now he's making me promise to move on.

He took a deep breath and re-focused his thoughts. No more broken promises. No more pain. No more tears. This is a new start for you, Oh Sehun.

Sehun looked down at Luhan's face and saw that he wasn't crying anymore. Although his eyes were slightly red and puffy, he still looked as beautiful as ever. You better take care of him, Jongin. Don't ever hurt this angel.

Sehun smiled to himself as he felt like he was finally ready to let go. He wrapped his pinky tightly around Luhan's.

"Pinky swear."

A/N: I am so sorry for this. This is so bad. What genre is this even? Fluff? Angst? Idk. Well whatever I just felt like writing something. I had no idea where I was going with this, the idea just popped in my head at 3 in the morning and I started writing. I didn't even know that Luhan cheated on Sehun until it happened lol. If there are any mistakes or if something doesn't make sense, please let me know. Again, I apologize for this nonsense. I hope my eonnie liked it though :3

Comment pls?