My first year in Uni was alright. I was prepared for hectic schedules and classes. I planned everything mostly in the morning and afternoon. Only because that was when the classes were the least crowded.
     It was nice. Despite staying up late to study and cram for tests and writing twenty page essays about things I didn't really care about, I felt like I was doing okay. Everything was new. I started over with a new slate, as a new person, as if the past didn't exist.
     Because of that, people were nicer. Maybe we just grew more mature after high school and learned how to socialize, or we were all just kind of lonely and didn't want to become even more alone than how we already were.
     There were a couple of guys who I'd see all the time around campus, library, or at the cafeteria. They were all pretty nice. We'd talk about random things and make time to hang out with each other every once and a while. I even remembered their names well, so that meant something.
    
     "You're always studying," Seungkwan looked over at the stack of books I had just checked out that were sitting on top of the table we were at. I could only nod my head.
     "What else can I do?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders.
     "You've gotta have some type of hobby," Junghan grabbed one of the books from the stack and flipped through it, only to heave an exasperated sigh as he slowly closed the book and set it back down again.
     I thought about it. I didn't have any hobbies, really. I liked reading and writing. I liked studying. I played PC games when I had the chance. Otherwise, I was sleeping or studying.
     "None," I said, shrugging my shoulders again.
     "Do you like music?" Jihoon asked me, tilting his head.
     I thought again. Sure, I liked music. I used to sing in church when I was little. I used to play guitar a bit in middle school. Yes, I liked music.
     "Yeah," I replied nodding my head.
     Jihoon pointed to his guitar case he'd bring with him everywhere, "Can you play?"
     It's not like I'd ever admit it, but sometimes I'd stare at the thing every once and a while. I used to have a guitar, too, but I stopped playing once I got into high school. I kind of regret it now. I was pretty good at playing. It only took a couple of weeks for me to play well enough to switch between chords and stay on beat with a song.
     My eyes widened at the question. I didn't want to lie, but I didn't want to say I could actually play. It felt like it would reopen old wounds. It was like I was looking back into the past. My shoulders sunk a bit low. How bad could it be?
     "Yeah, a little bit," I admitted quietly. Jihoon smiled at me and leaned over to open up the case, pulling out a wooden acoustic guitar with a red marbled pick guard. It looked similar to the one I had and I suddenly felt my muscles loosen.
     He held it by the neck to pass it to me, and I awkwardly scooted out from the table, gingerly sitting it on my lap.
     The feeling of it was really nostalgic. It was really weird. I couldn't find any other words to describe how I felt. It wasn't a bad feeling. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would feel.
     They all stared at me, waiting for me to do something as I just sat with the guitar, smiling a bit. I pressed my fingers on a few strings, strumming a simple major chord. It sounded clear. It sounded really good.
     I looked up at them and they all nodded their heads in approval.
     "Nice," Seokmin smiled. I could only smile back a bit, only to lower my head to watch my fingers play a few more chords. I felt really happy. My cheeks hurt from smiling.

     Months passed by like that. We'd just gather anywhere and talk about anything. It was really fun. I started feeling less tired and sad.
     I got better at playing guitar. Seungkwan even started singing with me sometimes as I played. After a while, sometimes we'd all sing together while I played. It was cool. I stopped feeling empty.

     It was during summer break that we were in the cafeteria, just loudly talking and laughing about stupid things. I didn't really talk that much, but it was fun to listen to the weird things they had to say.
     "She's really my type! Look at her," Seokmin was saying, holding his phone up as we all watched a new music video for a girl group. We all weren't sure what we were watching, because the video was just randomly changing scenes as the music played.
     A girl then appeared on the screen for about 5 seconds, and that was when Seokmin pointed and yelled, "Her! Did you see?" We all nodded slowly.
     "Yeah, she's pretty," Junghan nodded, looking off elsewhere.
     "You can't find girls like her here, dude," Seungkwan shook his head.
     "You can't find them without their boyfriends right beside them, anyway," Jihoon added with a smirk.
     Seokmin shook his head, "Whatever," he laughed.
     "What about her?" Junghan slyly looked over in front of him and we all followed his gaze to see a girl with wavy auburn hair, sitting by herself and working on her laptop with a can of coffee near her hand.
     "Oh, that's Summer," Seokmin said.
     "Summer? Is she foreign?" Seungkwan asked.
     "No, everyone just calls her that because she's only here during the summer break. Otherwise she's elsewhere. I don't remember her actual name. I don't think anyone does, unfortunately," Seokmin replied, air through his teeth regretfully.
     I looked over at her. She looked sad as she typed away on her laptop. Her small stature made her look tired.
     "Why does she only come here during the summer?" Junghan asked.
     "Hmm, rumors say that she has problems and only comes during the summer for classes because there's less people around to see her if she suddenly has a panic attack or seizure or something. I don't know. I've only heard rumors," he answered quietly.
     We all just nodded. There was a atmosphere of pity and I didn't like it. I never liked pitying people.

     We left one by one and I was the last to leave.
     "Are you still studying, even now?" Junghan asked me as he pulled his backpack over his shoulder.
     "Yeah," I looked up at him as I held my pen in my hand, spinning it around out of boredom. My notes in front of me were too clean and I didn't feel like reading them. But I needed an excuse for staying behind.
     "Well, don't melt your brains out," Junghan patted my shoulder and left quickly out the door.
     I looked up from what I was doodling, only to see Summer still typing away on her laptop. I was curious as to what she was writing about. At the same time, I was scared to ask.
     So I just sat silently, staring at my notebook page that was almost entirely filled up with odd drawings of cubes and aliens. I added a few more cubes and some stars. It looked like space. For some reason I smiled. It looked pretty cool to me.
     I slouched over, my head resting on my arms. I felt like a kid suddenly, not a twenty year old adult.
     When I looked up to see Summer, she was staring at me, probably wondering why the weird guy across from her was smiling at his notebook. Her shoulders bobbed up and down as she laughed to herself about something.
     That was when I straightened my back, cleared my throat, and gathered all my things. She probably thought I was weird. I gathered my things as I tried to hide my eyes and blushing face.
     Just as I was getting ready to leave the table, Summer spoke up,
     "I wasn't laughing at you," she softly said out of alarm. I looked at her and tilted my head.
     "Huh? Oh, I was just--" Everything that came out of my mouth seemed stumbled, "I wasn't... embarrassed," yeah, I was, "I just-- I don't know." I shook my head with a heavy sigh. To that, Summer just laughed again.

    She asked me if I could read over one of her essays she was writing.
     "Not the whole thing-- it's already ten pages-- but if you could read my thesis, that would be helpful," she nodded, showing me her laptop.
     I agreed. I wish I could have done the same and had somebody read my essays, but there wasn't anyone around to do so for me.
     Her thesis was the simplest sentence out of the entire paragraph. It wasn't bullted with adverbs and adjectives everywhere. It was a simple sentence.
    
     I want to go back in time.

     From there I read on,

     I would want to start everything over again. There's this question that bothers me every night-- would my life be more enjoyable if I could start it over from the point where I believed everything was going bad? Or would life still be as confusing as it is now, even if I had avoided that past problem?

     She must have realized that I was reading past her thesis statement, because she quickly inhaled a breath before pulling her laptop back to her. Her hand slowly pushed down on the cover, shutting it until the latch clicked.
     "What do you think?" she quietly asked.
     I nodded my head shakily, "Uh, yeah. It's really short and simple. It's not common to do a statement like that," I replied.
     She smiled, "I know. I'm hoping my professor doesn't get bored with it. He's the type who doesn't read on if it drags too much."
     I could only nod in understanding. That sounded like all professors, honestly.
     "Thanks for reading it. I wasn't sure if I was going to go through with how it was, but now I will." she sighed and bit her lip.
     "Your welcome," was all I could say before gathering my jacket and backpack. I stood up from the table and slowly walked away from her. I waited, and she spoke,
     "What's your name?" she asked, calling out to me before I could open the exit.
     I looked back at her with a look of surprise, "I'm Joshua," I answered her. To that, she smiled. Her eyes brightened.
     "Joshua," she nodded, "okay. I'm Sujeong."

     The next day, I went to the cafeteria again by myself. I didn't have anything to do and the guys seemed busy with their own things, so I just went for no reason.
     But honestly, I was hoping to see Summer there. Just to see someone I knew so I didn't feel so out of place. For some reason I felt awkward around her, like at a loss for words, but I still feel okay around her. There's an odd atmosphere of familiarity and it's comfortable. Her name was Sujeong, but the name Summer seemed to fit her better. She had no idea I called her Summer, but it would be okay if she never found out, right?
     Fortunately, she was there, sitting by herself and drinking some fruit tea from the Starbucks nearby.
     She saw me when I walked in. I bowed my head before walking over to sit near her.
     "Good morning," she greeted me, a smile on her face.
     "Good morning," I greeted back, showing her my own smile.
     "It's very warm today, don't you think?" she questioned, looking out the window which showed a small view of the campus.
     "Yeah. A lot of people have gone to the beach for the break," I replied.
     "Really? The beach? That sounds fun," she murmured, wrapping her hands around her cold drink to cool herself.
     "It does," I nodded, wanting to go to the beach myself.
     It was a of luck that Seokmin and Seungkwan came bursting through the door with Junghan and Jihoon behind them.
     Seokmin and Seungkwan were yelling at the same time so I couldn't understand anything. Summer looked really scared and her shoulder's tensed as she watched my two friends yelling. I could only make out the words water, beach house, and tomorrow. Otherwise, everything was gibberish.
     It was only when Jihoon pulled Seungkwan back and shook his head that there was peace in the cafeteria.
     He sighed before saying, "Do you wanna go to the beach?"
     My eyes widened out of shock. I looked over at Summer and she looked back at me, confused. She suddenly chuckled and covered , looking away as she laughed to herself.
     The guys all looked at me with disbelief after turning their gazes to Summer. I just smiled a bit, "Sure, but, I can bring another person, right?"

     It turns out Jihoon's family owned a beach house and it was vacant. His parents were allowing him to use it for the summer, just as long as it's in good condition the next time they use it.
     We took the bus there. It was just the five of us plus Summer, who had agreed to go because she said she hadn't been to the beach since elementary school. The whole trip there, the guys were kind of awkward, almost ignoring her presence to avoid weird situations, but she didn't seem to mind. I didn't blame them after all, they had just met her. Well, I had just met her myself, but it didn't feel that way. She only stayed next to me the whole time, clutching her bag clo