FOUR.

Author’s POV

2nd August 2015

Sehun’s POV

I woke up from my long sleep this morning feeling less miserable but with much burdened within. It had been a week since Jiyeon suddenly disappeared, and during the period, I wasn’t able to sleep and eat well. Everything I did remind me of the time with Jiyeon. However last night I shockingly was able to finally sleep well, but as soon as I woke up Jiyeon came to mind right away. I met her wasn’t for long, but it feels like I’ve known her for a long time already. Before I met her, I had loved someone else, someone I never met, someone I didn’t even know is real or not, someone that might not actually exist.

When I saw Jiyeon for the first time, I felt an inexplicable warm feeling braced my cold heart. I wanna give up on living because I have no one in this world after mom died, but she made me wanna live to meet her again. So we did, and we fell in love, but why couldn’t it last long? Why did it have to be this short? I wasn’t ready to lose her. Once again I felt like giving up, but I don’t wanna let go this easy. I need to find out why she left me, because I believe she loves me like I love her.

I made my way to Jiyeon’s house again today. I’ve been here last two days and she wasn’t here. I wouldn’t give up until I meet her. I knew she’s been hiding something from me, it showed clearly on her face at times, and I believed that’s the reason behind her sudden disappearance. Using the spare key, I unlocked the door and walked in. The house was as gloomy as it was when I came here last few days. I checked on every part of the apartment but there’s not even a slight trace of Jiyeon was seen around.

“Where are you Jiyeon? Why did you do this to me?”

I settled on the couch in the living room. My eyes wandered around as if I’d saw Jiyeon somewhere around. But no, she wasn’t here. So where had she been all this time? If she’s not at her home, so where else? As my eyes wandered around, they halted at a small table near the door, where a vase with withered daisies was placed. I believe there were no flowers in the vase last time I came. I advanced towards the table and took out the daisies from the vase. This means, Jiyeon was here before!

“Jiyeon why…?” I whispered staring at the daisies.

The white and yellow daisies… why did they remind me of something? Withered daisy, where did I see it before? It’s somewhere, between the pages. The old journal, wasn’t it? No, the daisy inside the old journal and this daisy couldn’t be related. It must be coincidence. The more I thought about it, the irrational it seemed. They were just flowers. Just flowers…

----

I dashed into my room and took out a dusty box from above the wardrobe. I wiped away the dusts while taking the box to the bed with me. I placed it in front of me and careful uncovering its contents. This is the box where I placed all my important old stuffs since I was child, the things that I don’t wanna lose even time had passed. There were my photo as a baby, my academic report card, some broken toys, and a few other stuffs. All the things I treasured. I took out everything one by one, and beneath all of these, there laid a black old journal. It’s so old that I have to be extra careful holding it.

“It has been long, old journal.”

I stared at it long, reminiscing some memories. Yes I do have memories with this journal. I have no idea where did it come from, why was it ended with me, but somehow I believe it was destined to be with me from the beginning. My name was mentioned a few times in here, although it made no sense. The ‘Sehun’ inside here might not be me, but I had a feeling it was me all along, oddly. Of course it made no sense. It’s just my imagination. It was very old, and even the dates mentioned in every entry were all from the 80s, how could it be me then? I asked my late mom and she herself didn’t know anything, saying that I might have taken it by accident. Maybe I was.

I went through every page carefully, reading all the entries again. Did I mention I was once in love with someone that might not exist? It’s the person that wrote these entries. There’s a faint words at the early page, which I believe was the name of the owner. I was curious of her name too, but it’s just unfortunate. She seemed very weak, full of concerns, and I fell for her in every word I read. It’s written inside here that Sehun had protected her from the scary soldiers. But what broke my heart was the last entry written.

23rd April 1980

            He broke the promise. He’s dead. They shot him. They had killed him.

This means The Sehun was dead. I don’t know how I can actually fall in love with the writer just by reading her entries. But now I was in deep love with Jiyeon. She left deep impression within. I flipped through the pages again and finally found the withered daisy I was talking about. The girl must have had a memory with the daisy. The love story was heartbreaking. I hope they found love in their next life. This daisy had been lying between the pages for twenty years, but it still remained its shape, so determined huh?

“They’ll shoot him. They’ll kill him…”

“What…?” Why did Jiyeon’s voice suddenly flashed inside my head.

That was what she said after waking up from his nightmare, wasn’t she? I trailed back to the last entry. They shot him. They had killed him. Wait, it’s another coincidence right? What am I thinking? Of course, how could this is related? The diary was from decades ago, and I don’t even know where this came from. It can’t be connected, right? Whatever it was now I just need to find Jiyeon. I should go to her house and wait for her there. Yes, that’s the most relevant way. Also, it’s almost dark now so she has to go back home regardless. Or could she possibly go back to her family?

I left my apartment and head to fetch a taxi to Jiyeon’s house. I entered the coffee shop where I usually spent my time before I met Jiyeon to get two cups of coffee, just in case Jiyeon was at home when I arrived. I should get a bouquet of roses too from the florist across the road. She’d love it. I looked at the florist across the road to check if it’s open, and luckily it did.

“Jiyeon?”

Yes. I think I saw Jiyeon just came out from florist, didn’t she? I dashed outside the café to take a clear look. It’s indeed her. Jiyeon was right in front of me. She’s holding a bouquet of daisies with her, and she’s with a young lady. She’s smiling staring at the flowers, but why does that smile filled with pain? She looked pale and sick too. Was she sick during the period she’s been missing?

“Jiyeon-ah!”

I yelled calling for her when a cab stopped in front of them. I wouldn’t miss her again this time. I saw her eyes wandered around, probably searching for my voice. Her gaze halted when our eyes met, but she quickly looked away within a few seconds. Did she not notice me? The other girl with her had opened the cab’s door to let her in and Jiyeon was on her way in. the light is red! I don’t have time to wait. I hurried across the road ignoring the mad drivers as I crossed to road to the other side.

“Jiyeon wait! It’s me Sehun!”

Unfortunately the cab had left. Why was she being like that? I swear she saw me just now. What is wrong you Jiyeon? What is wrong with me that you acted that way? Does this short period of us being together irrelevant for you that you decided to leave me? I thought you promised not to leave me? Have you forgotten that, Jiyeon?

Author’s POV

Click!

Sehun fell asleep on the couch in Jiyeon’s living that night whilst waiting for her to come back, which she never did. The next morning he was awake by a clicking sound of someone unlocking the door. Still a bit confuse from his sudden woke up, Sehun quickly made his way to the front door. He’s wide away within a few seconds while standing still in front of the main door. He anxiously waited for the person outside to come in, feeling sure that it was Jiyeon.

“Jiyeon!” Sehun called once the door opened and someone walked in with a confused expression.

“I’m sorry… but who are you?” A flustered girl appeared.

“Who are you?” Sehun asked back as standing in front of him wasn’t Jiyeon but someone else.

“Are you by any chance are Oh Sehun?”

“How do you know me? Where’s Jiyeon?”

“Nice to meet you, Sehun-ssi. I am Hahm Eunjung, Jiyeon’s friend and also a nurse in the hospital Jiyeon is staying.” The girl smiled.

“Ho-hospital?” Sehun asked, almost losing his balance.

“Yes. Her illness is getting worse to the point of her losing her conscious. She was admitted to the hospital for about three days already. She told me to come here and bring her handbag and some more stuffs.” The girl explained.

“Illness? What illness?”

“Let’s go. I’ll bring you to the hospital and you ask her okay? Better she tell you herself.”

Sehun could only nod weakly at Eunjung upon receiving the shocking news. His eyes followed Eunjung as she’s taking Jiyeon’s stuffs, and he remembered seeing her together with Jiyeon yesterday at the florist. When she had finished, they both left the apartment to the hospital. Along the way, Sehun was a bit lost that his mind was busy comprehending the whole situation. Jiyeon never told him anything about her illness, and he never thought she’s ill either. To think about it, Sehun just realized he never asked Jiyeon why was she at the hospital the first time they met.

“We’re here. Come with me.” Eunjung called when the cab stopped in front of hospital.

“Okay.” Sehun nodded.

He followed Eunjung all the way to third floor. Sehun couldn’t calm himself down as they passed along the hallway, and he couldn’t hide his anxiety. They stopped in front of a room. Eunjung smiled when she noticed Sehun’s apprehensive expression.

“Wait here. I’m going in to give her stuffs, and I’ll call you in later. Just wait for a while. Take a seat.”

Sehun was unable to answer as all he did was nodding. He took a seat next to door and just watched as Eunjung went in. She walked in where Jiyeon was seen sitting down on the bed while keeping her eyes fixed outside the window, watching the blue sky. She slightly smiled when Eunjung walked in.

“Thanks, unnie.” She thanked when Eunjung handed her handbag.

“What have you been doing while I’m gone? Watching to the sky? That’s it?”

“What else should I do? I wanted to sleep, but I couldn’t. Unnie, now I’m very curious about my dream and hallucination. It didn’t seem like a dream now, it feels real instead. It feels like a memory. I really wanted to figure it out, but would I be able to?” Jiyeon asked while blankly staring at the sky.

“Please don’t force yourself Jiyeon, and don’t worry too much. By the way, someone had come to meet you. He’s waiting outside.”

“Who? Didn’t I tell you I don’t wanna see anyone?” Jiyeon frowned.

“Jiyeon…”

“I wanna sleep. I don’t wanna see anyone for now.”

Eunjung only sighed upon hearing Jiyeon’s demand. She walked outside where Sehun was seen standing in front of the door, anxious. He didn’t say anything, but it’s obvious that he’s desperate to see Jiyeon.

“She said she needs a short rest for a while. I bet you haven’t eaten breakfast right? Let’s go to the café first and you’ll meet her after.” Eunjung explained.

“She didn’t wanna see me, right?” Sehun disappointedly asked.

“She didn’t even know you’re coming. Don’t worry. Restore your energy first. Let’s go.” Eunjung assured.

“Okay…”

Sehun stuffed his empty stomach with two grilled cheese sandwiches before heading back to Jiyeon’s ward without Eunjung. She left for changing into her nurse attire and started working. Sehun gulped once as he stopped in front of the door to Jiyeon’s room. He wasn’t able to contain himself from missing Jiyeon after not meeting her for a week, but at the same time he was slightly nervous. He arranged a few words to say before he opened the door and stepped in, but unfortunately Jiyeon wasn’t there. Sehun sighed as his eyes laid onto the empty bed. He approached the bed, but as he got closer he noticed a body was lying down on the floor at the other side of the bed.

“Jiyeon!”

He rushed towards Jiyeon’s unconscious body and kneeled down next to her. He quickly carried her and carefully placed her onto the bed. He blinked nervously while staring at Jiyeon’s pale face, as if all of her blood was out.

“Jiyeon-ah…” Sehun called while gently patting her cheek, “Jiyeon I’m here…”

Sehun eyes trailed from Jiyeon’s face back to the floor where Jiyeon was just now. He noticed an orange small bottle with a few of white pills scattered around it. He grabbed the bottle and also the small pill before running outside the room, seeking for help. He stopped the first doctor he bumped into, a young male doctor.

“I’m sorry. The patient in that room is unconscious. I found her lying on the floor with these next to her. Please help her, come quickly!” Sehun desperately dragged the doctor with him.

Soon after, a two nurses including Eunjung also appeared together with an older doctor. They did a quick checkup while Sehun was standing stiffly at the side, all sweating. Line of worries appeared on his face as he saw the doctor shook his head a few times.

“What happened doc?” He finally asked, losing his patient.

“These are sleeping pills, and I assume she has taken these all at once. But I have no idea where this came from because as far as I remember I never provide her any sleeping pills, especially a strong one like this.”

“I’m sorry doctor… I took her stuffs at home today and I think it was in her bag. I’m sorry, it’s my fault.” Eunjung quickly apologized.

“You should have been aware of this, but we can’t blame anyone in this case. May I know who you are, young man?” The older doctor looked at Sehun.

“I’m Oh Sehun, Jiyeon’s boyfriend