Review By Tranquil Bunnies Request Shop
Deja Vu
Title 3/5
The title doesn't connect with the story, yet if you see the title itself you'll feel curious.
Plot/Originality 8/10
The plot was good, until it came to the part of the vampire it didn't make sense with the story, normally when reading stories you would feel attached to the main characters letting yourself feel their emotions that the character is feeling but with your story I didn't feel connected with the characters.
Grammar and Spelling 10/10
Your common mistake with spellings was realized and curiosity and the line "Do you wanna save your friends?" but i suggest with this sentence from wanna to want to make your writting more professional.
Character/Developing Showcasing 3/5
You didn't much info about your characters which is fine because it's a one shot, but I would love if there were some more infos about the characters.
Flow 7/10
The flow of your story was actually really good, but at some points it left me confused on what was happening and also it ended too fast, I would've loved more if you made it longer but don't make it too long.
COMMENTS AND SUGGESTIONS: I enjoyed reviewing your story, typically I don't want you to change anything except a bit more info on the characters and don't rush the ending and make it a tiny bit longer.
REVIEWED ON: 5/6/15
REVIEWER: Amelia75110
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