“What the hell is that?”

“Oh thank God! You hear it too.”

“Uh…wait…is that…yodeling?” Jongdae scoffed. “Wow, they . But my question is: why at 3 in the morning? There are other times in the day to do your yodeling. Why does no one know common curtesy?”

2 weeks. Every night. At exactly 3 am. Chanyeol had the joy of being woken by some fool’s failed attempt at yodeling. It couldn’t have been anything else? The dude could try imitating Skrillex for all he cared. Chanyeol thought he was losing his freaking mind, so he came up with the best possible explanation he could think of. I mean, when it was 3 o’clock in the morning, you aren’t exactly thinking straight. And so, thinking he had done something to anger the spirits of the Native American (uh…Swiss?) burial ground under his apartment complex, Chanyeol had called a priest at 5 am the first night (who, by the way, was none too pleased to be dealing with Chanyeol’s schizophrenic crap. Yeah, thanks for stopping by, pastor buttwipe, so called long-time friend of the family.) But when the yodeling continued, night after painful night, Chanyeol had to settle with the theory of the yodeling just being the voices in his head. Psshh, screw hearing voices telling you to murder loved ones, Chanyeol got his own personal yodeler. Yay.

                But no. Chanyeol finally had the relief of being able to prove that he wasn’t insane, because Jongdae (oh his sweet, kind, caring-most of the time anyway- best friend) heard it too.

                “Ugh. I’m so relieved.” Chanyeol threw his arm over his eyes and sighed. “I thought I was crazy. I told Sehun I was hearing voices and he told me not to tell anyone because then men in lab coats would come and take me away and there would be no one to take care of my puppy-hey I still need a name for her by the way? Zitao told me to call her Panda even though she isn’t even black and white and I was like, “why?” and he was like “'cause pandas are cool.” with his stupid Chinese wushu talk and-“

                “You’re rambling.” Jondae mumbled, now pressing his ear against Chanyeol’s wall. “Hey where are your cups? I always forget.”

                “In the cupboard right beside the fridge.” Chanyeol picked at his fingernails for a moment. “Hey, so, uh…what is it?”

                “What’s what?”

                “That yodeling?”

                “What yodeling?”

                “What? But you just said-oh no!” Chanyeol slapped his hand over his forehead. He was going to have to check into a mental hospital in the morning.

                “Why are you so gullible?” Jondae cackled and pressed a cup against the wall.

                “Not funny.” Chanyeol whined. “I really thought-“

                Jondae hushed him. Chanyeol strained his ears to hear what Jondae was hearing. There was no change in the obnoxious yodeling.

                “Hey did you get any new neighbors recently?” Jondae asked finally.

                “Um, I don’t think so? Although I haven’t really gotten to know my current neighbors, so, who knows?”

                Jondae turned to look at him. “You’ve lived here for, like, six months already.”

                Chanyeol only shrugged.

                Jongdae shook his head and turned back to his cup. “Well I think it’s someone next door. We should go tell him to shut it.”

                “But that would be rude. What if, like, his family is Swiss or whatever and, like, his grandma (what would that be in Swiss-wait no, they speak German right? So, like, groster?) anyway, what if she died and he was mourning in the traditional ways of the Swiss? And then we went over there and told him to shut up and then he cried or something? I really can’t handle it when people cry, Jongdae. Don’t force me to handle because I can’t!” Chanyeol shook his head vigorously.

                Jongdae pressed his forehead against the wall. “Why are we even friends?”

                “Uh, ‘cause you knew a guy who knew a guy who knew my cousin-“

                “Stop.” Jongdae said in that quiet yet don’t-freaking-test-me-I’ll-mess-you-up kind of way. “We’re going and you’re going to work on your confrontational skills.”

                “Doesn’t your therapy class or whatever teach you to find compromises and approach things gently?”

                “Where do you even get this crap? Do you spend all day on Wikipedia because that’s what you sound like right about now?” Jongdae set his cup on the counter and grabbed Chanyeol’s arm. “Come on, we’re going.”

                Before Chanyeol could find some crappy excuse about having somewhere to be right about now (which totally would’ve worked by the way) they were standing in front of his neighbor’s door.

                Jongdae shoved him forward. “Knock. Tell him to shut it. Be assertive.”

                Chanyeol sighed. At least this would get Jongdae off his back. He straightened his old, stained T-shirt and knocked.

                The yodeling stopped.

                Oh, crap. No, he can’t do this. No no no-

                The door opened. “Hello?”

                Really, Universe? Did you really have to make the neighbor cute? Really?

                “Uh, yeah.” He glanced at Jongdae out of the corner of his eye, who not-so-subtly gave him a thumbs up and a huge smirk. “Yeah. You have kept me up for the past two weeks with your obnoxious yodeling. Could you do everyone in this building and most likely in a 3-mile radius a favor and can it because, dude, it's loud.”

                The kid paled right before so much blood ran to his face he looked like a tomato.

“You heard me?” He squeaked.

Oh no.

“I-I thought the walls were-I didn’t know they were so thin!” He grabbed his hair in obvious panic. “I have a play production and I have this horrible yodeling part and the director thought I needed more practice because I wasn’t into it and- OH MY GOSH!”

Chanyeol looked at Jongdae, who looked as equally horrified as Chanyeol probably did.

“I’m so sorry! Oh my gosh, no! I’m going to have to move to a different country and I really like South Korea! Oh crap, I’m so sorry!” The kid looked near tears.

Chanyeol slowly placed his hand over his mouth.

“You’re not saying anything. WHY AREN’T YOU SAYING ANYTHING?” Oh no, was he…? He was freaking hyperventilating.

                Chanyeol’s mouth opened and closed. He probably looked like a fish out of water. What was he supposed to say? Jongdae didn’t tell him what he was supposed to do in this kind of situation.

                As long as the kid didn’t-

                The kid burst into tears.

                -cry.

                Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit times infinity.

                “Oh no. Please don’t cry. I’m sorry. I really didn’t even want to say anything, but my stupid friend here thought I had to work on my confrontational skills. It was fine really. I mean, a little off key, I guess but uh…”

                Jongdae laughed. “A lot off key. Dude, how did everyone in this building not want to rip out their own eardrums from how horrible it was?”

Chanyeol glared at him.

“I mean, but to be fair, everyone at yodeling. Yodeling . Why. Who would make a play with yodeling? That director is going to go bankrupt. For serious.” Jongdae shrugged.

The neighbor kid giggled and sniffed. Aw. Cute.

“I’m really sorry.” Chanyeol said.

“I mean it took you long enough to say something.” He laughed, wiping away his tears.

“Huh?”

“To be honest, I was doing a social experiment.” The kid leaned against his door frame and crossed his arms.

He smiled when he noticed their confused faces. “I just wanted to see if anyone would come and tell me to shut up and how they would react if I reacted how I did.”

“So…I didn’t make you cry?” Chanyeol gaped.

The deceitful yodeler laughed. “No.”

Chanyeol sighed in relief and then glared. “I thought I was going insane! You kept me up for two weeks thinking this apartment building was built over a Swiss burial ground or it was the voices telling me to kill!”

Deceitful yodeler’s face grew into a slightly fearful expression. “Um…that sounds…”

Jongdae laughed cheerfully from behind him and wrapped an arm around Chanyeol’s shoulders. “Yeah, these are the effects of being a paranoid insomniac.”

When Chanyeol began to protest, Jongdae shoved him away by the shoulder. “You, however, should really consider a position I currently have open. It’s four to five times a week. You can choose your hours, but be prepared for a call from me at 4 am when I am drunk and have my s stuck in a small random hole that will leave bruises the next day.”

Deceitful yodeler blinked. “What’s the position?”

Jondae glanced around the hallway and leaned in to whisper into the kid’s ear as though it were a big secret. “My bestfriend. This twit isn’t worth what I pay him.”

“You have to pay him to be your friend?” Deceitful yodeler’s eyes glimmered in amusement.

Jongdae scratched the back of his head. “No. The joke was that I don’t pay him. So, you know, he’s worthless.”

“Well, that’s dark.”

“Yeah, well, what are friends for?”

“I’m standing right here!” Chanyeol exclaimed in annoyance.

“Oh, Chanyeol!” Jongdae turned to him in mock surprise. “I didn’t see you there.”

“Jerk. Ok, I’ve embarrassed myself enough. Let’s leave.” He grabbed for Jongdae’s arm and turned toward his apartment.

“Hey, wait.” Deceitful yodeler grabbed for Chanyeol’s arm. “Chanyeol, was it? I’m Baekhyun.”

“It’s nice to meet you. Did you just move in?”

Baekhyun looked at him in amusement. “No, I’ve lived here for almost two years.”

Chanyeol blushed.

“Well, Baekhyun, it’s nice to meet you. My name is Jongdae. It is still currently 3 in the freaking morning and I am still confused as to why I let Chanyeol convince me to have a “slumber party”,” he quoted in the air with his fingers and Chanyeol blushed harder, “when I have class tomorrow. Ironically enough, I’m currently studying to be a therapist.” He scoffed and shook his head. “Maybe I’ll drop out of college to become a er or something. Oh, I could be a model! I certainly have the cheekbones and the sass.” He snapped his fingers in the air before grabbing Chanyeol’s arm and dragging him into his apartment.

 

Before Chanyeol could convince himself the night before was just a horribly humiliating dream over a steaming cup of coffee from the coffee shop only a block from his apartment complex, a blushing Baekhyun slipped him a piece of paper between two slim fingers while they waited for the elevator.

“Call me, yeah?”

Chanyeol blinked and nodded shyly.

The elevator doors opened.

“Going down?”

 

 

A/N: Okay, so I got tagged to write this with the prompt "yodeling" on tumblr and I hate myself for this but whataya gonna do? Also "the deceitful yodeler" is something I have never in my life thought I would use in an actual story and I don't know why it amuses me so much?