NOTE!! Please listen to "Haru Haru Acoustic Version" by BIGBANG while reading this... 

Her body kept struggling to break free as she saw the nightmare turn to reality in front of her.

“NO!” She screamed at the top of her lungs as she tried to run back, but Jonghyun held her tight.

“JIYONG GET OUT!”

“STOP!”

Jiyong was down, his face facing the floor as a foot was holding him down. His hands were bloody, trembling as he tried to stand up, but he couldn’t. Her body started to tremble from pure anger as Sooman smirked at Jiyong’s weakened state.

“Did you really think you could come into my mansion and do whatever you pleased with it? To turn my own family against me and get out alive?”

“I wasn’t the one who turned your family against you.” Jiyong spat, then grunted as Sooman pressed his foot harder on Jiyong’s neck. “Just think Sooman, think.”

“Shut up!” Sooman said, taking out his gun and pointing at Jiyong’s head.

“Oh yes, do it. Shoot, end my own misery while adding to yours.” Jiyong hissed. “END IT!”

“I WILL KILL YOU!”

“DO IT!”

“ENOUGH!!” A woman screamed. Chaerin continued to tremble as Sooman lifted his head, his eyes wide, and even if his face was half hidden behind stains of blood, Chaerin could see fear on it. “Enough deaths on my house!”

“Misook—”

“This boy has nothing to do with all this, and you know it.” Misook said, holding a gun up to Sooman’s head. “So let him go, now.”

“T-The Dragons—”

“Are dead.” Said Taemin, who was standing behind his mother.

“It’s over Sooman, just stop. Let Jiyong go, he is just a boy.”

“No Misook, he is not just a boy. He killed my brother, he made Chaerin hurt, he is not just a boy, he’s a monster.”

“The Dragons killed Kijin, Sooman, not the boy.”

“HE WAS THE ONE TO PULL THE TRIGGER!” Sooman yelled. Madness was plastered all over his face as he shook his head, still pressing his foot against Jiyong’s neck.

“On his father’s orders, and he himself killed his father. I’d say we are all even.” Misook spoke, still not lowering her gun.

“No, we are not even, I need to kill him. I need to pay him back the bullet he put on my little brother’s head. HE KILLED MY LITTLE BROTHER!”

“Sooman, enough.” Misook said, now lowering her gun as she took a few steps closer to her husband.

“The only thing the Kwon family has given me is pain. First your affair with Younghwan, now this ing bastard killing my brother and trying to take my niece away. I will kill them all, and he’s the last one of them.” Sooman said. Chaerin’s hand instinctively went to her abdomen at the thought of Jiyong being the last of the Kwon family alive.

Her mind wandered, and she imagined herself living happily with Jiyong by her side, carrying his child and living a normal life. Jiyong going back to his music and she going back to being a normal woman living a quiet life. But that was far from the picture. The image of Jiyong on the floor, his hands trembling as his face was all bruised and battered made it almost impossible to picture. Could she give him what he deserved? Could she keep the Kwon family alive? Could she at least keep Jiyong alive? It all seemed so hard to picture, almost as if dreaming was forbidden for her.

“And what’s worst, that same bastard that tainted you is standing right there.” Sooman said, his gun signaling Youngbae. Jiyong grunted, making an effort to move from underneath Sooman’s foot.

“DON’T YOU POINT A GUN AT MY BROTHER!” Jiyong grunted, making an inhuman effort to move, but he was far too weak at the moment. Youngbae was on the floor, panting as he looked at Jiyong, his leg injured, and by the way he stayed on the floor Chaerin could tell he was in great pain.

“I should kill him instead, an eye for an eye. How does that sound, Kwon Jiyong?” Sooman spoke, his gun pointing steadily at Youngbae’s head. Jiyong grunted, screaming softly as he finally moved from underneath Sooman’s leg and ran to cover Youngbae.

Sooman fell back, and the sound of a gunshot made Chaerin stop breathing. Her eyes were wide, slightly opened as she looked at Jiyong covering Youngbae’s body.

She felt the whole world stopping, the strength from Jonghyun’s grip lessened, the people moved towards Jiyong and Youngbae, Misook screamed and Taemin also ran towards Jiyong. Chaerin couldn’t properly see what was going on, but when Jonghyun finally let go of her, she grabbed the gun and ran forwards.

She wasn’t seeing, wasn’t listening as she saw Jiyong’s face being lifted from Youngbae’s chest. Youngbae screamed, holding Jiyong’s face, and that was enough to make Chaerin pull the trigger.

She pulled the trigger one, two, three times until she was completely deaf from all the screams on the room. Even if she couldn’t see, she knew who she was shooting, she knew who she was killing, and she was satisfied, she was fulfilled when she felt the ricochet on the gun, and the heat emanating from it.

Her eyes locked on Sooman’s body, slowly falling to the floor, his chest full of blood as she continued to shoot. Everything was slowly coming back, and she heard herself screaming her lungs out as her finger continued to pull the trigger. She was going to empty the gun on him, because that was her final promise to the world. Because whoever touched her heart, she would give pain. And for every pain she was given, she would pull the trigger. Her pain was outnumbered, and every time her heart pounded, she pulled the trigger.

Her chest was heaving, her knees trembling as the gun ran out of bullets, yet she continued to pull the trigger, slowly falling on her knees. Sooman was on the floor now, his eyes wide, his mouth wide and his chest full of holes. That scene made her happy inside, made her satisfied to no other level.

But now, her nightmare became real, and she dreaded move from her spot. She could hear at the distance screams, cries and even pants, but she couldn’t move an inch to look, because if she did, she would wake from that trance of happiness mixed with satisfaction. Waking up from it meant having a direct hit to her soul, because whatever happened seconds before her madness was enough to make Jonghyun falter, was enough to make Taemin run, and it certainly was enough to make Misook scream. Whatever that was, she didn’t wanted to know yet, because she was certain it was going to be painful.

Chaerin was more than done with pain. She was more than done with anything related to having to lose what she loved the most. She had lost enough already, it was enough.

But reality was fast calling her, and a hand on her shoulder made her finally turn around to the dreaded nightmare.

Now, before her eyes laid the image she least wanted to see. Youngbae was still screaming with Jiyong’s body on top of him. His hand was still on Jiyong’s face as the other held him desperately from his back. The desperation on Youngbae’s face made her fall into that pit of agony she was fearing. Youngbae’s vulnerability told her everything she needed to know, even if she didn’t wanted to.

Before she knew it, her body moved itself towards Youngbae and Jiyong. Youngbae didn’t wanted to let go of Jiyong, but Jiyong wasn’t moving either. His immobility was making her anxious, and she put a hand on top of Jiyong’s shoulder. His black shirt was wet with blood, but now, it didn’t mattered more than knowing if her was breathing or not. Youngbae looked at her, his eyes wide, filled with tears as he finally let go of Jiyong, allowing her to take him.

If someone would share that pain with him, it would be her. Because if there was someone who loved Jiyong as much as Youngbae did, it was Chaerin.

The moment Youngbae let go of Jiyong, she quickly grabbed him, resting his back on her lap as his head rested on her arm. His breathing was shallow, coming to an end as he made an inhuman effort to open his eyes. She caressed his cheek, cleaning fresh tears falling on his cheeks.

“J-Jiyong?” She said softly, her voice hoarse, choking. She hadn’t noticed she had been sobbing madly up until now, when he weakly lifted his hand, trying to touch her cheek. She quickly grabbed it, holding it close to her lips as she cried endlessly while carrying him.

“Jiyong, don’t die on me, please.” She begged softly. He looked at her painfully, his face showing the guilt he was feeling.

“I-I t-tried…” He mumbled. She quickly nodded, letting go of his hand to touch his cheek, pecking his bloody lips.

“I-I know you did.” She said, her voice breaking.

“Y-You’re the best i-in my l-life babe… I love you.” He mumbled again, and she shook her head, crying out loud as she hugged him tight.

“You’re the best in mine, Jiyong. I love you so much.” She said on his ear, kissing him longingly. Kissing his cheek, kissing his lips, his hand. Kissing him as much as she loved him, because she did. She loved him with all her soul, her heart, her everything.

“L-Live for us…” He begged, his voice coming out weaker. She shook her head, and his hand fell. She looked into his eyes as his pupil slowly dilated, his mouth opening softly and his chest heaving one more time before staying unmoving.

“Jiyong?” She said, shaking him softly. “Jiyong, don’t. Stay with me, Jiyong please.” She continued to shake him abruptly, shaking his body to make him wake up.

But he didn’t woke up. He wouldn’t move anymore. The more she shook, the colder his body got on her arms. Youngbae screamed at her side, throwing himself on top of Jiyong, crying his heart out as he tried to shake Jiyong to life, just like Chaerin did. But neither could bring him back.

The only thing left from Kwon Jiyong was his beautiful, cold and pale face and body. He had died on their arms, he had died with one last bullet, he had left that world living and loving too much.

“Please come back!” Chaerin screamed, hugging him tight as Youngbae held his waist.

“No, bro don’t leave, no! DON’T DIE ON ME!” Youngbae screamed, but the more the cries, the less the life. Because Kwon Jiyong had died that day. Kwon Jiyong had died saving his heart and saving his blood.

That day, Kwon Jiyong became the hero, that day, he selflessly gave his life to save another man, and that was great. That made him the Great Kwon Jiyong. Because the name G-Dragon would be remembered among his enemies, but the name Kwon Jiyong would be remembered by those who loved him without measure.

The wind flowed free around her as she numbly looked at the pond in front of her. For days nothing could make her smile again. The flowers were blooming, the breeze was comfortable and the day was beautiful, yet her soul was in pain. And to top it all, the constant sickness made it all the more unbearable for her to handle. It was as if the whole universe was conspiring against her. Or was it the way of God to tell her that she was also allowed to die?

“Chaerin, are you ready?” Taemin called her. She looked up, her eyes feeling uncomfortable as the swollenness wouldn’t go away. The nights were the worst, because that was the time she was all by herself, in the darkness, thinking of he who wasn’t there anymore.

“I don’t want to go.” She said softly. Taemin nodded, walking towards her. He smiled softly and sat right next to her, looking at the pond. “I don’t want to say goodbye to him yet.”

“It is not a goodbye.” Taemin said, touching her knee. “It’s a farewell, I am pretty sure he will be waiting eagerly for you on the other side.”

“Why couldn’t he do so on this side? Why couldn’t he come out with me?” She spoke the questions on her mind out loud, tears on her eyes.

“I guess it wasn’t meant to be.” Taemin said. Chaerin had heard that over and over again since he passed away. That it wasn’t meant to be, that he did it to protect her and his brother, who came out being Taemin’s older brother. But who would tell that to Youngbae? To Seungri? Who can tell that to her heart, that was so against listening to reason?

“I wanted it to be meant to be.” She mumbled, cleaning the tears from her eyes. Taemin put a hand on her neck and pulled her closer, kissing her head.

“How are you feeling?” Taemin said, and she shrugged.

“Dizzy, still not here. I still doubt this is real.” She said.

“It is real. Come on, Jiyong deserves a good farewell with his beloved by his side.” Taemin said as he stood up, extending his hand towards her. Chaerin shook her head, but still held his hand, standing up with him.

The afternoon was filled with silent cries. It made Chaerin sick to her stomach watching all those hypocrites crying next to the coffin, as if they all cared for him. Where were they when Jiyong walked into the mansion alone with his boys? Where were they when he was lying on the floor, helplessly trying to get up and fight?

Everyone that she met at the company where there, executives, singers, more mercenaries and everyone who Jiyong helped hit big. One person got closer to her, his face hung low as he sat next to Chaerin, letting out a breath.

“I am sorry.” He said. Chaerin lifted her head, looking at him with furrowed eyes. “I’m sorry it ended like this. Jiyong was a great man, I’m pretty sure he went down like the great man he was.” He said. Chaerin nodded, remembering who he was. Teddy, a friend of Jiyong who helped him produce songs.

“Whatever you may need, Chaerin, we’re here for you.” Teddy said, standing up as a female walked towards them.

“I’m so sorry Chaerin, this is really hard.” The lady said. It made her frown how much people knew how and how many people knew how much Jiyong meant to her.

“He really loved you, and he tried to make this world a better one for you. I thought you should know that.” Teddy spoke. Chaerin looked at him, her eyes glistening as tears formed at the rim of them. She was going to say something, but nausea took the best of her, and she stormed towards the nearest bathroom, throwing everything she hadn’t eat out.

It made her feel better for a moment, and she cleaned afterwards, sipping a bit of water to help soothe .

“Hard.” A woman said. Chaerin lifted her head, frowning as she saw Kiko walking towards her. “I never thought he would ever die. Ever.”

“Who are you?” Chaerin asked without keeping anything inside. Kiko chuckled, looking down as she rested her back on the wall.

“I guess I was the one who could never make him happy enough to risk his life for.” She said. Chaerin crooked her head. “I was Jiyong’s girlfriend, long years ago.”

“He never spoke about you.”

“I guess the dead should stay dead.” Said Kiko. “He could never forgive himself for what he did to me, I guess.”

“What he did to you?”

“Taught me everything there’s to know about his life.”

“What?”

“He thought that if I knew how to protect myself, he would never lose me. Turns out, the more you know, the less free you are. I guess that’s why he said so little to you about himself.”

“I guess I didn’t knew him at all.”

“Oh, you did knew him. You knew the man no one else knew. It’s just that the other man would put you in danger, I guess.”

“It doesn’t makes a difference.”

“No, not at all. Who would have ever thought you were the daughter of the enemy? But then again, he still gave his life to protect you. I guess he was more affiliated to the Lee family than he knew of.”

“Youngbae…”

“Yes, Youngbae… Did you knew that Youngbae was raised to protect Jiyong? The only reason Younghwan didn’t killed him when he was born was because he could be a good bodyguard for Jiyong. That is sick.”

“Did Jiyong knew all about it?”

“Only recently. I guess that’s why Jiyong decided that killing Younghwan was the best option out there, even if it meant letting the Dragons free.”

“I guess he knew he was never coming out alive.”

“Since the moment he pulled the trigger against his father, he knew his days were counted. Younghwan was the only thing that kept Jiyong alive. Without Younghwan, the Dragons would have no one to listen to, so they would turn against the only heir left.” Chaerin shook her head, looking down at her hands. No matter how much she tried to make a different picture, it all ended in Jiyong dying.

“He knew since the beginning…”

“Actually, since he watched you died he decided it was enough. I guess it’s really your fault, after all.” Kiko said, smiling. “But who knows, maybe he would’ve died anyways. He never took a step without knowing where to go. Jiyong was just like that. He probably saw all the possible outcomes, and I guess the best one was him dying but taking everyone with him. If you ask me, he won.”

“But he died, that’s not winning.”

“When you have lived in the darkness long enough, you’ll understand that dying is the best possible win ever.”

“But what about those who stay behind? What about those who suffer? Kiko, I am sorry, but I can’t see how one dying is a possible win. And honestly can’t see how Jiyong dying can possibly make me feel better.”

“Chaerin, Jiyong loving you was a mistake. He knew it all too well, you loving him, was the worst possible thing, because you became the thread that kept him attached to this world. He knew it was against the rule, yet he broke them all for you. It is not normal to love the one who killed your father, and it is not normal to love the one who killed you.”

Chaerin lifted her hand to slap Kiko, but stopped midway, tears falling from her eyes. Kiko remained calm, unmoving as Chaerin slowly lowered her hand.

“It pains me as much to see you suffering, because I feel like you’re going to waste his efforts in keeping you alive.” Kiko said softly. Chaerin nodded, lowering her head.

“He asked me to live for both of us, but he never thought it would be this hard.” Chaerin broke down crying. Kiko went to hug her, and both of them fell on their knees, Chaerin on Kiko’s chest as she held him tight.

“He was selfish, he was a stupid selfish ! How could he ask me that? How could he ask me to live when he wasn’t there? I love him, I love him so much it hurts, why would he leave me all alone to deal with this? Why would he die on all of us? Why would he let Youngbae all alone?! YOUNGBAE NEEDS HIM! I NEED HIM!” And like that, Chaerin said everything there was in her heart, even if it didn’t made sense. It was pain, pain didn’t made sense. Pain wasn’t to be understood, only felt.

You cannot make pain go away by simply crying, but you can lessen it. You cannot make pain lesser by forgetting, because there is a night were you will remember, and everything will be as painful as the first time.

Pain can’t be forgotten, but neither can love.

Author's Notes: I am sorry, but there wasn't another way to do this. I have to confess that I cried my eyes off writting this, so I hope I was able to portay my feelings with this chapter.

This was planned since the very beginning of the story. No matter how you put it, Jiyong had to die. But I can manage to make a happy ending... even though it's hard and our hearts hurt. 

I watched a video of Jiyong cheering and jumping on Youngbae on one of his concerts and that inspired me so much. It pained me all the more... lol! I am such a masochistic bastard. I hope I made you guys cry, and I hope you won't hate me that much... I already hate myself haha!

This story has ended, but that doesn't means I am done writting. Yes, my life is way to hectic right now, but I still love writting more than anything.

I am working on another story, and when I am satisfied with it, I promise I will post it.

For now, let us cry together...

I love you all, thank you for sticking with me all this months. You mean so much to me.

Don't stay silent, share your pain with me.

Love you all!

Not So Happy Reading ~

Gily ♥