“Congratulations!”

Her literature teacher reaches over to shake her hand with great enthusiasm. She had just announced to Saemi about her most recent win in a writing competition that Saemi was asked to enter in. Naturally, any other student would have been unable to contain their excitement because it had been a nationwide competition with a large monetary prize – an extremely rewarding achievement and a great accomplishment for a college resumé.

However, it was different for Saemi.

The topic of the essay had been what it meant to lose something precious. Had it been any other topic, she would have been okay with winning – happy, in fact. However, the topic that she had received was a sensitive topic for her, and she absolutely hated the idea that her own piece of work had won.

“Thank you,” Saemi forces a smile at her teacher like any respective student would, “I would have never been able to do it because of your helpful guidance.”

While her words were of gratitude and her appearance was sweet, Saemi felt empty. Why did she have to be the one to win the competition? There was a strange air of disappointment that hung over her like a dark cloud.

But even then, she could feel how proud her teacher was of her. It was to the point where it was evident that the teacher wanted to be praised by the student. The praise would make her feel a little more important and confident about her own teaching ways.

Saemi knows that this is what her teacher wants from her. She also knows that her teacher felt responsible for her win from the competition. She could see it in her eyes. The congratulations that her teacher had said to Park Saemi didn’t feel like it was truly for her student, but for herself.

Saemi doesn’t say anything, of course. She knows that it would be rude, and she doesn’t want to have a bad reputation with the school administration. But even then, she can’t erase the feelings of irritation that had risen all because of her winning.

The so-called masterpiece in which she had written about her lost memories and the family that abandoned her.

The win that she receives from this writing competition practically screamed “thank you for suffering the most among the contestants”. Not to mention, she knew that there were other competitors who likely made up their tragedy and losses. Those should have been more elaborate. Those should have clearly been worse than her real experiences. So why was it that she won?

She does not take joy in this title in the slightest. Instead, she would have felt happier if she had lost, especially when the only reason for her to take part in this competition was her teacher’s insistence.

“I’m not too surprised you won though,” her teacher tries to qualify her excitement, “considering that you’re a year older than many of the contestants. Did you get held back a year?”

“Unfortunately so,” she replies promptly, though she doesn’t specify a reason.

All of the students and faculty in the school know that she never finished a past school year, so she had to repeat a school year. That’s why she is retaking her senior year of high school one year later than most students.

Of course, the teachers also believed that the piece of writing that she had entered in the writing competition was created as a result of her imagination. She doesn’t plan on letting the world know about her misfortunate circumstances with her personal life.

She doesn’t think they needed to know.

All she wants is to move forward from the tragedy. That shouldn’t be too hard, should it?

***

“I heard you won,” her seatmate raises his hand, implying his desire for a high-five, “Congratulations. I knew you could do it!”

However, Saemi pulls his hand back down with an eyebrow raised, “Jackson, stop. You of all people should know that I never really wanted to win this writing competition.”

Ever since she had transferred to her new high school, she had made one friend in her class. His name was Jackson, and he had also transferred from a school from America during the middle of the school year. He was pretty insistent on making friends with the only other transfer student in his class, Park Saemi.

Of course, she was pretty against it at the very beginning. She was isolated from the rest of the students because she was held back a school year. Rumors had spread about how she was unintelligent and undesired because she had supposedly failed an entire school year. Having Jackson make friends with her would be social suicide. She believed that he would end up being a loner like her, and that would be too much for her to handle.

Fortunately for him, he was as bright as the sun.

Girls flocked to him all the time. He was deemed as the funny, good-looking boy that everyone wanted to befriend. The boys couldn’t believe how good he was at sports and how social he could be. The girls loved how sweet he was, always caring towards everyone.

That is, with an exception.

They couldn’t stand how Jackson always hung around Park Saemi. Park Saemi is the girl who everyone looks down upon. She is the one that was cast aside by the social groups within the school. She was the one that no one bothered to befriend. Not to mention she was being held back a year, so who is she to hang around one of the most intelligent kids in the school? Who is she to hang around the most popular kid, Jackson?

What everyone felt wasn’t even close to envy. It was absolute, pure disgust.

And while they ceased to act that way when Jackson was around, Saemi could see it in their eyes. It’s not like she actually cared enough to tell Jackson. She didn't want to befriend him from the start. She didn't want him to care for her. She was better off alone anyways. That must have been what her parents and friends wished for her too since they never came to find her.

Jackson had no valid reason to be bothered with the darker side of his classmates. Jackson had no valid reason to be bothered by the existence that is Park Saemi.

***

“My name is Mark Tuan. I’m a transfer student from Seoul. I moved because my parents’ business didn’t work out exactly the way they wanted in the big city. Please take care of me.”

The moment that the teacher had announced there was a new transfer student joining the class, Saemi couldn’t help but feel uneasy. At first, she thought she was imagining it. She didn’t even know the boy, and she surely didn’t recognize his face. She can’t remember ever meeting him or accidentally crossing paths with him, and yet, there was something off about him.

There was something about Mark Tuan that put Park Saemi on edge.

The moment he introduced himself to the class, every single strand of hair on the back of Saemi’s neck stood up. His word choice was peculiar. Every single syllable made Saemi’s heart pound, and every single syllable made her grow more uneasy.

She would’ve sworn she had heard all of those words before – every single one, in that specific order.

While Saemi tries her best to smile naturally, she could feel his eyes on her. Before she knows it, he had made his way over, standing beside her desk. He takes one look at the girl sitting beside her and smiles warmly. That warm smile changed everything. Everything that followed happened extremely quickly. The girl’s eyes were put in a daze as an obvious pink blush crept upon her cheeks. It was obvious that the girl found the boy, Mark, attractive. She immediately picked up her things and moved to a desk further toward the back of the classroom as Mark takes her seat just like he wished.

It was, to say the least, unbelievable.

“Who are you to make her move?” Saemi shoots him a disapprovingly look, “You can’t just flash a smile and use your looks to take advantage of a vulnerable girl!”

Upon hearing her speak, Mark finds himself speechless for a few seconds before he manages to spit out, “You don’t know me?”

Saemi stares at the boy in front of her, unsure of what to say. She knows that she doesn’t know who he is, and she knows that she has never seen him before, but she also knows that there was something about him that made her heart feel a bit more anxious.

“…Are you sure you didn’t mistake me for someone else?” she replies, vaguely but still getting her point across, “I don’t believe I know you.”

“Is that so?” Mark inquires, knowing full well that the girl in front of him is exactly the one he’s been searching for, but he decides to play along for a little bit. He doesn’t know why she’s acting like she doesn’t remember him. He doesn't understand why the one that had protected him with her whole life was acting so differently, almost like a stranger. But even so, he is determined to find out, “Well, my name is Mark. I hope we get along well.”

She knows full well that she doesn't want to get along with him. She feels absolutely uneasy, and something in her heart moved in such a way that made her experience a strange sort of pain. But Saemi is polite. Saemi would never doubt someone by an unexplained feeling. Saemi does not judge.

So Saemi gives him an uncertain smile in return, “I’m Saemi. I hope we get along well too.”

But as she finished speaking those words, a strong wave of déjà vu came over her. She didn't understand why Mark had this power over her. She didn't understand why she was feeling this way. She didn't know why this seemed like the calm before a terrible storm. It was as if she had already had this same conversation before. It was as if she actually knows him.

Of course, that had to be impossible. There must be some sort of mistake.

There has to be.

After all, she doesn't feel a sense of relief from seeing him.