It never used to be like this. There was always laughter and warmth…and Kai. Kai used to always be there. There was never this feeling of despair, of loneliness. Never was there this emptiness that had taken refuge in the nucleus of Kyungsoo’s soul. He wanted things to return back to the way it all used to be. Before he and Kai began to drift apart from one another. Before they began to shield their minds, their hearts and their souls from the other. Before they both spoke the words that pierced through the armour they had carefully maintained. And more than anything in the world, before Kai had turned his back and walked away, never to return again.

~~~

Kyungsoo had first met Kai in high school when they were both elected as class representatives. Kyungsoo was immediately drawn in by Kai’s intellect and charismatic personality. Kai was a leader who knew how to lead, yet also knew when to draw back and follow. He would always listen to the opinions of others before voicing his own and Kyungsoo found himself idolising the other boy. It wasn’t before long that the two came to be close friends.

There was scarce a moment when Kyungsoo or Kai were seen without the other. Everyone thought they looked like brothers but the truth was that there relationship may have been a bit more than that. As their high school years drew on, they became close friends with three other boys.

Baekhyun, who was Kai’s childhood friend, was never one to take anyone else’s opinion as the law by which he was governed. He was quick to bite back with an argument that would leave even the greatest of minds at a loss.

Yixing was Baekhyun’s opposite. He was a sleepy looking boy who would agree with you if only to end an argument before it could begin. He was, in a way, the peacemaker between the five friends.

And then there was Chanyeol. He was like the ray of sun within the group. No matter how cloudy a day their moods managed to create, Chanyeol would always bring about the sun. There wasn’t a gloomy bone in him and none of them ever tried to find one. They were grateful to Chanyeol for his sunshine personality, especially during exam times.

Kyungsoo watched as his friends fell in love all around him. Envy mixed in with his joy when Baekhyun and Chanyeol decided to become more than just friends.

He watched as Kai would walk into relationships only to stumble out of them, disorientated and broken. Kyungsoo would always be there at the end of those relationships with comforting words and a warm embrace. He couldn’t fix Kai’s relationships, but he vowed, that unlike all those who had turned Kai away, that he would remain.

To see his friend broken that way each time…something snapped inside of Kyungsoo thinking about it. It angered him that anyone would treat Kai that way. Kyungsoo hated all those people who had even been