Jino looks down at the edge and wondered how long it would take to reach down. If he remembered the lessons in his physics class, a five-story jump would be a relatively short timeframe. There was rarely a time to regret and panic. One step forward and he would be minced meat when his face meets the floor. For sure, it would be a messy business; blood and brain matter splattered on the cement floor. The mental image was making his stomach churn into an unpleasant queasiness. It was gruesome, but effective to end ones misery.

This wasn't the first time his thoughts roamed around on suicide. From what he remembers, the same thoughts ran on his mind when he reached puberty. Pretty young, some people might think, but statistics say that it's normal. Everyone has touched the subject at least once or twice.

Normal, they say. To think about dying and one’s own life is normal. But tonight his thoughts didn't feel anything close to normal. It felt like a craving, convincing his thoughts that it would be easier to just take the plunge. All his worries would disappear. There would be no reason to hurt and cry. The hardship and suffering wouldn't torture his thoughts anymore. How easy it was to think this way.

Tired and lonely, his spirit was at its lowest. The past couple of months haven't been kind to him. He worked hard for the monthly tests the company had given to the trainees to test their skills and see how much they've improved. On the last exam, he passed, but barely. The lack of sleep had caused his voice to crack, which bore a large deduction in his evaluation. Jino was scared out of his wits that his mistake would have the company forced a withdrawal. He thanked his lucky stars when he saw no letter that would have been his doom.

But even though he passed, the heavy weight on his shoulders didn't lessen. It was so bad that there are days where he wished that his body would just give up on him. Jino was getting tired of waking up enduring the training and getting disappointed at the end of the day wondering if he'll ever get to reach his dream.

He missed the stage. The feeling of standing in front of people waiting to hear him sing, he wanted to feel that moment again.

SM the Ballad. Once, he was part of a project group called, SM the Ballad. He was only a trainee when an opportunity of a lifetime came to him, giving him a chance to sing on stage with the company's most talented vocalists. He thought he was one step closer on being able to be an idol. His hope ended at the same time when the promotions for that group ended.

That project group felt like a lifetime ago. It hurts knowing he failed to reach his dream when it was just at the tips of his fingers. What did he do wrong? He gave his all, didn't he? Then why was he still a trainee?

And wasn't he supposed to be part of EXO? He got pulled off from that group and that was the biggest blow in his mental and emotional state. He was happy for those guys. Jino had seen the same struggle from them. Although, it pained him to see that he failed again.

He wasn't the only one pulled out of the group. There were others. One has already decided to chase a different dream and quit while the others were either tending to their own wounds or transferring to another