title: 지워 (Erase)

pairing: kaisoo

rating: PG-13

warnings: angst, heartbreak, 행복 하지말 거예요, plots based on/inspired by songs, mysterious!kyungsoo, naive!jongin, feels. Enter with caution. | ~1300 w

summary: "Your love--I'll erase it. Your phone number--I'll erase it secretly."

All he does all day is click away at the brightly illuminated phone screen. Jongin watches his husband intently as the stoic, blank faced man does just that. The other can't help but wonder what's so interesting when the love his life sits right before him.

"How was work?" Jongin tries, though he already predicts what the other's response will be.

"Dull, as always." Kyungsoo's answer comes relaxed but noticeably brief.

"What, whipping up the most delicious desserts in Seoul doesn't excite you anymore?"

"It's not that." The sole owner of the ever popular Sweetie bakery doesn't care to elaborate. But Jongin is feverishly curious so he presses on.

"What then?"

"It's just..... all the same. Everything is, really."

"I don't know what you mean babe." Jongin his head to the side. Kyungsoo looks up at him for the first time all evening. Kyungsoo's stares always make Jongin's skin crawl with want. However, upon closer inspection, Jongin sees that while Kyungsoo's expression is blank, his eyes are full of... disappointment?

"It's okay. I didn't really expect you to understand."

Jongin can't figure out why that phrase makes his chest ache for the rest of the night.

∆

The white rays of sunlight nearly paralyze Jongin as he steps out of the large abode he shares with Kyungsoo to get in his BMW and head to work.

Being the CEO of one of South Korea's largest conglomerates is a demanding career, but one that Jongin truly loves. He feels like he was born to be a leader, and that is exactly what he gets to do every day. It's no wonder that he and Kyungsoo are one of their country's most well known couples, especially since they are openly homoual.

The powerful foreign car revvs as Jongin speeds down the highway to his office--but really, it's more like his escape haven than his place of work. The top office overlooking the Han River is the most beautiful view in the world to him. Jongin gets to travel often for work, but nothing ever compares.

Jongin finally plants his in his comfy office chair after another ten minutes of driving and speaking to his assistant about his meetings for the day. Sales have been up lately and Jongin solely focuses his energy on making the company's expansion plans into the American market a success. It'll start with a popular organic, Asian grocery outlet, then it'll move to appealing to the American music market with artists who speak excellent English and cater to the American look more while retaining the Korean morals and mannerisms, then it'll be the large shopping outlet complete with a brand new MCM store, and finally, his big 6-year anniversary surprise to Kyungsoo would be opening another Sweetie bakery in downtown LA. Jongin smiles giddily just thinking about the heart-shaped grin that would surely grace his husband's face.

And it is that lovely image of his Kyungsoo acting squishy and perfect that motivates the CEO to execute the perfect success.

∆

Fat, disgusting tears roll down Jongin's face, but he can't tear his eyes away from Kyungsoo's emotionless stare.

"W-What are you saying Kyungsoo...?" Jongin hiccups. A tired sigh leaves Kyungsoo's plump lips.

"We.... I mean I...I have to say goodbye Jongin."

"Why?! Tell me what you need--I'll give you anything you need...I'll be whatever you need!" Jongin desperately pleads. Kyungsoo closes the space between the two of them and gently wipes the sobs making their way down Jongin's face away.

"I always hated the way you looked when you cry. Such an adorably pathetic look you have."

"Kyungsoo!"

The man's face tightens, his jaw clenching beneath ivory skin. Another tired sigh.

"I told you already. Everything here is the same. And when we got married, I thought that was what I wanted. But there's an itch under my skin that's been driving me nuts and it screams at me at night when I try to sleep."

"Kyungsoo what the hell does that mean--?!"

"I have to get out Jongin. I need change."

"I can change for you Kyungsoo--!"

"I might be your world Jongin, but you are not mine." Kyungsoo says, his tone suddenly becoming sharp and harsh. "I want more out of my life Jongin--I feel dead every waking moment of the day. I go to bed and hope I don't wake up."

"Kyungsoo..." Jongin's tears have stopped and he tries his hardest to understand his husband's feelings. But his heart is on the ground in front of him, bleeding out any empathy he might have felt for the dessert chef. All Jongin sees is his own white hot pain. "Is there any way I can help? I want to be there for you however I can."

Kyungsoo presses his soft lips to Jongin's for but a moment. Jongin relishes it.

"You can do two things for me."

"Anything baby."

"Let me go, Jonginnie. Live your life happily after I'm gone and..."

Fresh tears spring to Jongin's eyes but he has to know--

"And what, Kyungsoo?"

"Never come searching for me."

∆

The warm, soft breeze in Los Angeles's famed Koreatown caresses Kyungsoo's skin. He brings a lukewarm cup of Jasmine tea to his lips and savors every second of the taste.

His phone begins to vibrate madly in his pocket. He takes it out but doesn't recognize the number lighting up his phone's large screen. Out of sheer curiosity, he answers it.

"Do Kyungsoo speaking."

"Your voice sounds exactly the same. I'm not sure why I thought it would sound different but... Well, I did."

Kyungsoo would never forget that voice.

"Jongin?"

"How've you been, Kyungsoo?"

"It's been a while. 4 years, right?"

"4 and a half." Jongin easily corrects his ex-husband.

"Why did you call?" Kyungsoo gets right to the point. Jongin lets out a tired sigh.

"I finally did it. I erased your love."

"You did what?" Kyungsoo's heart feels like it's constricting. Why does it feel like that?

"I did what you asked. And now I'm ready to do this." Jongin says calmly into the phone. Kyungsoo doesn't know what to expect--

"Go ahead then." Kyungsoo murmurs.

"Do Kyungsoo. You were over hundred percent right about me. You were my whole world and all I ever thought of was how to please you--but in reality, it was only what I thought would please you. And while I now understand what you had told me for years about your boredom that was eating you alive, I can't help but resent you for it. I would have given up everything for you, done anything to reinvigorate you're life but because you thought I would never understand, you never tried to make me understand. I would've figured it out, Kyungsoo."

"Jongin..." Years of pent up regret hit Kyungsoo suddenly and all at once--Kyungsoo had been so wedding about him. And the worst part is that this man was once Kyungsoo's and his only. Now...

"Honestly, I think you didn't want me to understand. And so you pushed me away. I can't help but hate you. I hate you Do Kyungsoo."

"But Jongin..." Kyungsoo suddenly realizes what he thought would happen all along. "Can't we be together again?"

"..... So now that you've had your little adventure, you want--no, expect--me to come crawling back, no consequences? You really didn't keep up with what was happening in my life over the past 4 and a half years, did you Kyungsoo?"

"I...." Kyungsoo forces out, unable to come up with a respectable answer. Being in this position is so unlike Kyungsoo.

"I remarried." Jongin simply says. "I don't love you anymore and I never will. So it would be best for both of us if you just lived your life happily now that I'm gone and never come searching for me."

Even over his loud, pathetic sobs, Kyungsoo can still hear the line go dead.

-sorry this one is so short i literally wrote it on my subway ride to work while listening to this hyorin song.

-happy update! i got so many subscribers recently and a couple of upvotes too! thank you to all of you guys for supporting me and look forward to another (hint: angsty) update soon!