Joonmyun has a year’s worth of vacations stored up over the seven years that he’s worked for the company.

“And I want you to actually go on vacation,” Minseok says, after calling Joonmyun into his office for a private meeting and assuring him that no, he wasn’t getting fired. “And that’s an order,” he adds with a tone of finality, before Joonmyun can protest Yifan’s inability to progress without him. “You’ll be paid,” he says, and that finalizes the deal.

So it’s with great reluctance that Joonmyun buys tickets to the islands. He’s a responsible adult, really, and that’s why he’s by the beach, protected by sunscreen and bug spray and a hat and a large beach umbrella. He’s staring blankly at the beach while resisting the urge to pull out his phone and check his email. He’s expecting a notice about the death of Wu Yifan or even Kim Minseok any day now.

Joonmyun is so absorbed in thinking about the funeral that he jumps a few meters into the air when someone asks, “Are you trying to not get sunburned?”

Joonmyun turns his head to see one of the surfers, still dripping from the ocean water and smiling brightly as he brushes slick bangs from his forehead. “Yeah,” he says, feeling his cheeks burning. Maybe he did get sunburned after all.

“City boy, huh? I bet you don’t even know how to swim.”

Joonmyun nods. Now that he thinks about it, it seems useless to even be at this island.

“Lu Han!” someone calls from the waters, and the boy Joonmyun had been talking to—Lu Han—stands.

“Coming!” Lu Han shouts. He grabs the phone that Joonmyun had been holding in his hand and keys in his phone number. “Call me if you want lessons, okay?”

With that, he walks away, and Joonmyun definitely doesn’t watch him go, doesn’t see the glimmer of water drops as they slide down his back.

Joonmyun saves the number and stares out at the sparkling blue waters. He hadn't intended to go near the waters, but maybe he would take Lu Han up on his offer.



Joonmyun feels lost. Very, very lost. The bar is filled with loud laughter and louder music, crowds of people and flashes of bright lights. Joonmyun edges his way through to the bar, where he collapses in the nearest seat.

“First time in a bar?”

Joonmyun raises his head to look at Lu Han, feeling his throat dry at the sight. Lu Han’s hair is a soft gold in the dim light, bangs skimming over kohl-lined eyes, eyelashes long and thick over smooth, pale skin.


Lu Han laughs, a sudden and loud sound. Joonmyun jerks, realizing he’d been staring too long, and looks down at the surface of the bar. He’s sure his blush is very apparent, even in the dim lighting—it’s the sunburn, Joonmyun’s mind screams. “Can I get you something?”

Joonmyun clears his throat awkwardly, looking around for a menu. “Um…can I have some water?”

Lu Han laughs again. “I’ll get you something.”

He returns with a curious pale pink drink. “It’s not drugged,” Lu Han assures him, then leans across the table with a mischievous look in his eyes. “You’ve never really done this, have you?”

Joonmyun takes a cautious sip of the drink. It doesn’t taste particularly strong, but there’s definitely alcohol inside, enough to make him slightly dizzy after the third gulp. He’s only ever drunk at formal dinners, little sips of bitter red wine. Jongdae would be so proud of him.

Joonmyun takes a picture and sends it to his younger brother, adding a silly emoticon as a caption. When he looks up, Lu Han is still standing there, pressing a rag into the table and staring at him.

“Why are you still here?” he asks, and it’s like he’s detached from the scene, looking down at the crowded scene and a hot guy is totally not staring at him.

Lu Han smiles, arm jerking and moving the rag. “I hope you enjoy the drink.”

When Joonmyun looks up again, Lu Han is already talking to some other customers, an angelic smile on his face that contrasts with the whole place. When he looks down, his drink is already finished.

Joonmyun stumbles to his feet, leaving money for the drink. He doesn’t see Lu Han again, and he pushes his way through the crowd.

The alcohol leaves him feeling a little lightheaded and a little sick. The warm air is soothing, so Joonmyun can almost forget a certain someone wearing eyeliner and a flirtatious attitude. Joonmyun gets a text from Jongdae.

Jongdae: approved^^ now go find a one night stand



After many hours of contemplation, Joonmyun sends a text to Lu Han. Hi. I’m Joonmyun. You offered to teach me how to swim, and I was wondering when you have free time.

He winces at the text, but hits send anyway. It’s only his second day at the island and he’s bored already. It’s not because he wants to get sunburned or drown, but Lu Han had been the one to offer.

Lu Han’s text comes a few minutes later. Sure. City boy, right? Same place this afternoon at five?

Okay, Joonmyun replies, and sets his phone down.

There’s still about an hour until the time, so Joonmyun takes the time to shower, lather on sunscreen, and freak out. Bath tub water is okay, but ocean water is not.

Joonmyun nearly talks himself out of going by the time he’s reached the beach, but Lu Han is already there, waving enthusiastically.

“Hey,” Lu Han says, and Joonmyun takes back whatever he had thought last night. Lu Han as a bartender was mysterious and intriguing, but Lu Han in the daylight is—for lack of a better word—beautiful, messy blond locks pressed against pale skin, dripping with water and dressed only in a pair of swimming shorts.

Joonmyun clutches his towel tighter as he approaches Lu Han. “Hi.”

“So, swimming, right?” Lu Han asks, and Joonmyun nods. It’s embarrassing, learning something that most kids already know at five, but Lu Han’s smile is assuring. “How much do you already know?”

“I can doggy paddle,” Joonmyun tells him. “I want to learn how to swim underwater.”

Lu Han hums softly. “We’ve got a lot to work on then.”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Joonmyun adds hastily. “It might take a lot of time, and it’s not like I’m going to die otherwise, and…”


“You’re cute,” Lu Han says, interrupting him with a smile.

Joonmyun stops, mouth hanging open unattractively. “What?”

“You’re a smooth talker, aren’t you?” Lu Han muses, and Joonmyun bristles a little. He is a smooth talker, just not around the guy he likes. Except he doesn’t like Lu Han like that. Maybe. “Keep that mouth closed,” he says, leaning in close enough that Joonmyun can see the mole on the upper inner fold of his right ear. “Otherwise, fish might swim inside.”

Joonmyun snaps his mouth shut and follows Lu Han into the water. It’s cooler than the warm air, tickling his legs. The sand feels soft but unnatural under his feet, wet particles sliding between his toes.

“Can you go underwater?” Lu Han asks, once the water reaches up to their waists. He demonstrates, drifting into deeper water and ducking down underneath. He surfaces soon after, grinning.

Joonmyun flinches as Lu Han starts walking towards him. “Ah—I…”

“Come on,” Lu Han says. “If you want to swim, you have to drown first.”

Joonmyun looks at him doubtfully. What kind of logic is that? What did he do to deserve this? Why can’t he die peacefully without getting saved by a beautiful devil disguised as an angel?

Joonmyun wonders if he’s been in the sun too long. Even his brain feels fuzzy now.

Lu Han’s smile is too bright, enough to draw an unsuspecting victim into death and out. He jerks Joonmyun into the water with surprising strength and keeps him there.

Water seems to fill Joonmyun’s senses, and it shoots up his nose. He had been caught off guard, and the more he tries to get the water out, the more goes in. Just when it feels like he’s going to drown, the tight grip Lu Han has on his arms suddenly lessens. Joonmyun breaks free, and when he finally reaches the surface, he alternates between coughing and gasping in air.

Lu Han surfaces a moment later, looking far too calm. “Thirty-eight seconds,” he informs Joonmyun with a casual glance at his watch. “We have to work on that.”

Joonmyun glares at him, but it ends up more like a squint. (He’s going to have to work on that too.) “You should give me a warning next time.”

“So go,” Lu Han says with a disarming smile.

They practice staying underwater for the rest of the afternoon. Joonmyun learns how to hold his breath and exhale underwater, as well as how long he can last underwater and how to relax and drift back to the surface.

They stay underwater for so long that Joonmyun gets comfortable with the salt water. So when they emerge over an hour later, Joonmyun shivers at the change of temperature, the brush of wind along his wet skin.

“Thank you,” he says, bowing formally. He can kind of forgive Lu Han for trying to drown him in the beginning.

Lu Han laughs and picks up Joonmyun’s towel, wrapping it around him. “Same time tomorrow?” he says, breath warm across Joonmyun’s skin. “I’ll text you.”

He smiles brightly, and Joonmyun smiles back. Yeah, he thinks, he’s definitely drowned today.



Joonmyun gets a little better at swimming underwater, and Lu Han teaches him the basic .

“It just takes a little practice,” he tells Joonmyun after their lesson.

There’s nothing more important than drinking water after swimming for so long, Joonmyun quickly learns as he runs to the shore to grab his water bottle. He’s thoroughly exhausted from the hour they’ve been swimming, unused to such continuous exercise.

“Looks like you’re developing more muscle,” Lu Han teases, jabbing a merciless finger at Joonmyun’s sore arms.

Joonmyun glares at him half-heartedly. Lu Han the instructor is merciless, constantly demanding more; but Lu Han, his self-declared friend, is full of flirtatious smiles and prodding remarks. Joonmyun isn’t sure which one’s worse.

“Would you like to get some ice cream?” Lu Han asks, tossing Joonmyun a towel and grabbing one for himself.

It’s been a long time since Joonmyun’s eaten junk food, but Lu Han seems to be the very definition of living dangerously, so he follows him to the stand. Lu Han orders mint chocolate chip, and after some contemplation, Joonmyun asks for vanilla.

“You’re so boring,” Lu Han says, but he leans over and steals a mouthful of Joonmyun’s ice cream.

Joonmyun can’t really complain, since Lu Han had paid for both of their ice cream cones, but he does keep his cone closer to himself.

“Can I take you out for dinner tonight?” Lu Han asks suddenly, and Joonmyun blinks.

“What?”

“Are you not eating dinner?”

Joonmyun catches the sticky, sweet drop of melted ice cream that slides down the cone, savoring its flavor on his tongue. “I don’t mind.”

“Great.” Lu Han smiles. “Seven at the seafood place, okay?”—and Joonmyun can’t say no to him.



The only problem with eating at a seafood restaurant is that Joonmyun doesn’t eat seafood. Which is why he spends most of his time picking out the little shrimp pieces from his fried rice.

“No crab?” Lu Han asks, waving a claw at Joonmyun, who shakes his head.

It’s unfair that Lu Han can still look so attractive while baring his teeth at the crab and tearing it apart with his bare hands, while Joonmyun…wouldn’t.

“Lu Han!” someone says, and Joonmyun recognizes one of Lu Han’s fellow surfers. He’s undeniably good-looking, despite his informal clothing, dark hair artfully messed up and brilliant white smile contrasting nicely with smooth, tanned skin.

“Oh, Jongin.” Lu Han waves what’s left of the claw he’s holding at his friend. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Jongin turns to Joonmyun. “Are you this idiot’s date?”

Joonmyun’s chopsticks clatter loudly against his plate, and he looks up, wide-eyed, at Lu Han. “Uh…”

Lu Han laughs loudly and pushes Jongin away. “Bye, Jonginnie.”

“He’s cute!” Jongin calls over his shoulder, and Joonmyun blushes as he looks down at his plate.

There’s a moment of silence as Lu Han finishes his crab.

“Want one?” he asks, waving another. He isn’t put off by Joonmyun’s refusal, and leans across the table and presses the piece into Joonmyun’s hands. “It’s not that hard to eat. You peel it like this…” He shows Joonmyun how to break the shell at a joint, cool slim fingers fitting neatly between Joonmyun’s smaller ones.

Joonmyun jumps slightly as Lu Han presses his hands down on top of Joonmyun’s and the claw breaks apart. Lu Han laughs at him, their hands still touching.

“Calm down. It’s not going to bite you.” Lu Han releases Joonmyun’s hands with a nod. “Try it.”

Joonmyun picks out a portion with his chopsticks, ignoring Lu Han’s complaints, and takes a bite. It’s saltier than he expected, with a distinctly spicy flavor.

“Good, isn’t it?” Lu Han takes the other half of the claw. “Here, toast.”

They clink glasses. Joonmyun takes a sip, while Lu Han downs his entire glass and proceeds to pour another.

“It’s ganbei, you know?” he says, smiling brightly with an elbow on the table, and Joonmyun’s never met another person who could get that drunk off of formal red wine. “Here, do it correctly this time.”

They clink glasses again, and Joonmyun keeps drinking until his glass is empty. He winces at the bitter taste and hiccups softly. Lu Han laughs, leaning across the table and catching a drop of alcohol on a napkin.

“So cute.” His hands linger on Joonmyun’s cheeks, and his eyes are large and glassy.

Joonmyun jerks back, tapping his chopsticks against the edge of the plate. “Um…thanks?” His mind still feels dizzy, and he chews on a mouthful of fried rice to dissipate the bitter taste.

Lu Han’s smile falters slightly before it’s on his face again, large enough that Joonmyun can see all the crinkles around his eyes. “Dessert?”

Joonmyun shakes his head. “No thanks.” He folds his napkin into smaller pieces. “I can pay the bill.” It’s only right, after all, that he does something to show his gratitude.

“No, I’ll do it.” Lu Han gets up as Joonmyun signals for the bill. He grabs the receipt, slides his credit card inside, and hands the book back to the waitress. “It’s okay,” he insists, avoiding Joonmyun’s attempts to pay him back.

They walk outside, into the warm ocean air, with Lu Han’s hand on the small of Joonmyun’s back.

“Let me buy you dinner next time,” Joonmyun says.

“It’s fine.” Lu Han grins mischievously. “Seeing your face is enough.” He knows exactly the right words to say to get Joonmyun to fidget uncomfortably. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Joonmyun can still feel the warmth of Lu Han’s hand even as he walks away. Joonmyun thinks, as he looks up at the moon, that he wouldn’t mind staying here a little longer.



When tourism hits its peak and the beach gets ridiculously crowded, Lu Han brings Joonmyun to another beach. It’s hidden away in a corner of the island with “No Trespassing” signs marking its borders.

“Are we trespassing?” Joonmyun asked the first time they had stepped on the beach.

Lu Han had smiled, the fleeting expression that could mean nothing at all. “Kind of?”

They practice there, and after a few nasty sunburns and near-drowning incidents, Joonmyun masters the basics of being a fish.

The three months pass by quickly, and Joonmyun is barely conscious of each departing day, his phone the only reminder that the vacation is coming to an end.

It’s during his last two weeks at the island that Lu Han tells Joonmyun to stay a little longer. “I’m going to get something. Wait here,” he says, as Joonmyun gets out of the water and dries himself off.

Lu Han returns a few minutes later with a takeout tray full of noodles and several cans of beer. Judging from the position of the sun, it’s close to dinnertime anyway. Joonmyun eyes the alcohol suspiciously.

“Are we inviting someone else over?”

“No. Here.” Lu Han hands Joonmyun a beer. “There’s nothing more beautiful than eating dinner out here.”

“So are we sharing that?”

Lu Han gives him a sheepish smile. “I should have thought that through, huh?”

“You sure this doesn’t count as trespassing?” Joonmyun asks, spinning a long noodle around his chopsticks.

Lu Han waits until Joonmyun’s taken a few sips of his beer before answering. “My dad owns this place.”

“Really?” The beach isn’t that big, but it’s pretty, and there’s a nice house built several meters inland. Joonmyun had always thought that just being a bartender wouldn’t earn enough money, but clearly, he’s underestimated exactly how well off Lu Han is. “Wow.”

“Yeah.” Lu Han speaks around a mouthful of noodles, and Joonmyun doesn’t find it nearly as revolting as he should. “I’ve never brought anyone here before.”

Maybe it’s just the beer, but the words feel warm somewhere in Joonmyun’s chest. He takes another sip to drive away the hesitation. “So does that make me special?”

When Joonmyun blinks again, Lu Han’s much closer, eyes large with their ever-present sparkle. “What do you think?”

Any thought he may have had gets drowned out by the first press of their lips, soft and chaste, under the setting sun. Lu Han’s lips feel impossibly soft, and it may just be because it’s been too long, but he tastes mildly intoxicating. It’s the daring taste of the summer ocean, coupled with the bitter aftertaste of beer.

It’s only after they pull away that Joonmyun really thinks. He turns away when Lu Han leans close again.

“The noodles are getting cold.”

Lu Han seems to look at him for a long time, like he’s observing him, before he helps Joonmyun finish the meal.

“I’ll walk you home,” Lu Han says, cleaning up the remains of their dinner. “It’s in the same direction as the bar.”

Lu Han’s hand brushes against Joonmyun’s as they walk, and he pretends that he doesn’t jump at the contact. If Lu Han notices, he doesn’t say anything, and they walk to Joonmyun’s rented beach house silently.

“See you tomorrow,” Lu Han says, and he looks like he’s going to add something else, but he doesn’t.

It’s not until the door closes firmly behind him that Joonmyun feels his head clear, if only a little. It’s the first drown that’s the scariest, he reminds himself as he pours a glass of water with trembling fingers. But you have to learn how to drown to swim.



Lu Han’s always touchy, adjusting Joonmyun’s posture here and there, little touches to demonstrate certain techniques. It’s just that Joonmyun’s never quite noticed them, never felt them as much. It feels like a warm, creeping fire, even in the cool ocean waters.

Joonmyun tries to play off his flinch to Lu Han’s touch outside of the water as a reaction to the cold, but Lu Han clearly doesn’t buy it.

“Is something bothering you?” he asks, toweling his hair with one hand.

Joonmyun looks away. “It’s nothing.” Because it is nothing, isn’t it? Lu Han’s just more touchy than usual when he’s drunk, and Joonmyun doesn’t mind at all.

Well, maybe a little.

“About the kiss last night,” Lu Han says suddenly, the tumble of words disturbing the quiet calm around them. “You don’t mind, do you? Did you… not like it?”

“I did.” Joonmyun swallows. How does Jongdae make one night stands sound so easy? It’s just a summer fling; it’s not like they’re staying together forever.

“So you wouldn’t mind if I did this, would you?” Lu Han’s standing very close again, enough so that Joonmyun can distinguish the black from the chocolate brown of his eyes. He waits for Joonmyun’s soft hum of consent before pressing their lips together.

Lu Han tastes exciting, the glittering blue of the waters at day and the promising ocean breeze at night. It feels like Joonmyun can’t get enough, not when it’s Lu Han, so close yet so elusive, even now.

“You’re not bad at this,” Lu Han says with a breathless laugh as Joonmyun places soft kisses along the edge of his jaw. “At least, not for a city boy,” and Joonmyun bites down, hard, on the soft cartilage of his ear. “,” and Joonmyun tries not to think about how much he’d give to have Lu Han with him every day like this.

He pulls away when Lu Han tries to drag him back for another kiss, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. He tries to wipe off Lu Han’s jaw because, well, saliva, but Lu Han just laughs at him.

“Leave it.”

“But…” Joonmyun waves the towel in the air, hoping his hand gestures make some sense.

Clearly, they don’t, because when he blinks again, Lu Han’s tackling him into the water. He lets out something that vaguely resembles a shriek, but manages to close his mouth in time as he’s shoved underwater.

When Lu Han releases his grip on him, he’s grinning down at Joonmyun. “Surprise.”

Joonmyun throws a handful of water at him. “Rude.”

Lu Han laughs, relenting. He gives Joonmyun his own towel, since Joonmyun’s gets wet in the process. He tries to help Joonmyun dry off, even eyeing him in what is supposed to be a suggestive manner, although the creepy smile on his face kind of ruins that part. Joonmyun throws his towel back into his face.

“You look like a erted grandpa.”

“I’d love to grow old with you,” Lu Han says with what is probably supposed to be a wink but ends up being more of a wince. Joonmyun definitely doesn’t feel something flutter at his words.



It takes several more days of suggestive touches and chaste kisses before Lu Han asks Joonmyun to stay for dinner again.

“You’re leaving soon, aren’t you?” he asks as he once again pulls out a single takeout tray full of noodles.

“Yeah.” Joonmyun swallows around a dry throat as he pulls his chopsticks apart. “Tomorrow.”

Lu Han smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I thought so. No one ever stays, you know?” he opens the tray, but neither one of them begins eating.

Joonmyun looks down at the bottles of soju Lu Han had brought. Yup, he’s definitely planning to get drunk tonight. Maybe, he thinks, living at this island isn’t so much fun after all. “Do you want me to stay?”

“Why would I bring you here if I didn’t want you to?” Lu Han grabs a bottle of soju and pours a glass for each of them. “Here, ganbei.” Joonmyun takes a cautious sip, while Lu Han downs three glasses in rapid succession.

Joonmyun picks several strands of noodles from the tray. “Is it always so pretty here?”

“Not as pretty as you are.” Lu Han grins when Joonmyun stabs him with a chopstick. “What? It’s true. I’ve always liked—I’ve never brought anyone else here before.”

Joonmyun smiles, shifting in the warm sand. On this island, eternity doesn’t seem to be so far away. After living here for so long, he can’t imagine going back to his work. He’s gotten used to Lu Han and the excitement that comes with him.

They end up abandoning the noodles in favor of the soju, or at least until Lu Han decides to abandon that as well in favor of Joonmyun’s lips.

“Don’t leave,” he whispers between light kisses.

“I have to,” Joonmyun says. He threads his fingers through Lu Han’s soft, soft hair.

“Jongin stays here all year round. He’s great in bed, too.” Lu Han pulls back to look at Joonmyun. His cheeks are a soft pink in the light, no doubt from the alcohol. “Aren’t you jealous?” He looks adorable like this, head tilted to one side in confusion.

“Why would I be?” Maybe it’s the alcohol that makes Joonmyun bolder, or maybe it’s Lu Han rubbing off on him. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.”

Lu Han laughs, a soft hiccup of sound. “You’re right, I only want you.”

Lu Han’s fingers are cold against Joonmyun’s bare skin under his shirt, and the latter thinks he could drown in this spell of soju, Lu Han, and Lu Han.

“Hold on,” Joonmyun says, pushing Lu Han away.

“What?” Lu Han blinks up at him.

“The sunset.” The sun is fading in brilliantly gold and red colors, and the waters are a reflection of the night sky, a deep, clear blue.

“Seriously? You’re such a mood killer.” Lu Han hits Joonmyun lightly, but ends up placing his chin on his shoulder and snuggling closer. “Why am I even with you?” he grumbles, but he’s smiling.

“Appreciate the beauty of nature,” Joonmyun says. He underestimated how relaxing a sunset could be. Usually, his day is scheduled to the minute, and he rarely even has time to look out the glass-lined walls of his office.

“More beautiful than I am?” Lu Han asks, attempting to sound hurt. Joonmyun just laughs at him.

Lu Han falls asleep on Joonmyun’s shoulder. Joonmyun smiles as he runs a hand through the surfer’s hair, using his other hand to pull his phone out of his pocket. “Hey, Minseok,” he types, “I’m returning home tomorrow morning. Can I have winter break off too?”