Amber

As I see you walking from afar, hand in hand with that guy, I can't help but feel my stomach churn with bitterness. Why did you choose him? Why is he better than me? Where did I go wrong?

I feel like I've misunderstood your feelings for me in the past. Did all the time we spend playing together and laughing together mean nothing to you? I took such good care of you whenever we were together and you always seeked me out. I thought I was a special person in your life and now I realize I was wrong.

But the fault is my own. I didn't have the courage to tell you how I felt when I had the chance. All those times you stared at me with an expression that could only be described as love, and I was too shy to reveal the depth of my emotions for you... I look back at each of those moments with regret. The memories are crystal clear in my heart, eating me alive because of my cowardice. Why couldn't I reveal my feelings to you back when there was no one else clamoring for your heart? Why am I only brave now, in this instant, when you're all but out of my reach?

I could play the charming second lead and try to steal you away from his clutches with a well timed kiss, but you and I both know that's not who I am. I could never stand in the way of what could be true love between you and that guy. My honesty and my kindness  were what drew you to me in the first place, weren't they? Or is that what my delusions are telling me now?

Heartbroken, lovesick, driven out of my mind with sadness, I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I want to become your shadow, following you from a distance, always with you but always unnoticed. I want to protect your heart from afar, to make sure that you're happy and that he always treats you right. You deserve the happiness that you have right now. I can see how he makes your eyes light up in a way that I thought was special only to me. I can see the way your face glows with an indescribable beauty whenever he's around you and I know you're in love and that makes me happy. I only wish that I was the one making you smile that way.

I tell myself that we never had anything, that I was imagining more to our friendship than what really existed. On a good day, I'll believe my own lies and manage to make it to nightfall without thinking about you even once. But on the bad days, like today, the only thing on my mind is you and the life I should be living with you by my side.

I watch you from afar, hand in hand with that guy. The memories that we shared are all a lie to me now. I've discarded them from my heart, discarded them from my mind. My love for you is dead now. It's the only way I can protect my heart from the pain, by turning you into just a friend.

But you turned and noticed me just now, you turned and smiled at me as you walked by, hand in hand with that guy. And just for a second, as you smiled, I can feel all the memories of you flowing back into me. Every second of love I've ever felt for you lights up my heart again like the sweetest love I'll ever know. And in that instant, delusional or not, I feel like our love still has a chance, that you'll find your way back to me and I'll show you how things are meant to be. I'll show you the sweetest love that you'll ever know just like how you've shown that love to me.

My heart burns with conviction now as you turn and walk away, hand in hand with that guy. I smile with an unwavering confidence because I know what the future holds. Our love is meant to be. This truth feels more real to me than the ground beneath my feet. I only have to look at you to see an infinite universe of possibilities and that our existence is the same in every world: you and I will always ends up together because this is our destiny.

I laugh to myself as I walk away from you and that guy who are hand in hand. He doesn't stand a chance against our love and he doesn't even know it. You don't even know it. And the very first chance I get, I'll make sure to show you that ours is a love that is blessed by this universe. And then one day, when chaos has been restored to order, you and I will walk this world hand in hand.

Author's Note: Stayed up late to write this because I couldn't sleep due to recent news. It honestly made me feel better to write this. Hopefully you felt better after reading it.

Just wanted to say that I'm not going anywhere. Kryber for life. :)