a/n: Want to know what Jongins been thinking? Here you go Jongin's POV up ahead! Enjoy! ;)

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Jongin's POV

Its just a few days before my wedding day and its still not fully sinking in to me. That night when I drove Soojung to her penthouse, I have been thinking a lot about how I actually reacted and cared for her. I kept on telling myself that I am just being my cassanova and gentleman self. I do hate falling in love and commitments but I don't hate women in general. I mean, I love my mom and my sister but I just can't bring myself to fall in love again. Besides, I still like being with women because they could be sources of pleasure to relieve my stress once in a while. Every young bachelor loves to be around y and pretty ladies right? However, deep inside my heart I know I'm just being a coward and I admit that I am afraid to fall in love again only to get hurt in the end. I never want undergo depression once again because it felt like hell. I felt like dying and hating every second of my life.

That day during my fitting, I met with Baekhyun and Sehun and we chatted a lot because its been a long time since we've seen each other. They also asked me about what I think and feel regarding this marriage and I just honestly answered them. I couldn't hide any secrets from my best buddies though there were times when I tried to hide something from them, they could always see right through me. Baekhyun mentioned that he was a resident under Soojung and that he was with her on a 24 hour on call duty the day before. I am always amazed at how doctors could stand a 24 hour duty without sleeping a wink. Thankfully, Baekhyun already had a few hours of sleep before meeting with us because he especially gets grumpy at times. I also asked Baekhyun a few things that he knows about Soojung because you can't really expect me to just sit back and marry someone whom I barely even know. At least I could get a bigger picture of what kind of person she really is aside from the things I already know about her by now. Also, judging from the way my mom went overly enthusiastic about everything, I think after the wedding she will send me and Soojung to some kind of a romantic getaway so I think I should at least get to know her. I don't want to get stuck with someone for a few days not knowing what she'll be up to. For all we know she might be someone whom I shall watch out for and be cautious about.

After the fitting, Baekhyun got a call from the hospital asking him to come because he is badly needed there. He told me that he needed to go but I asked him if he's totally fine judging from the little sleep he got. Thanks to me, his precious sleep got cut out when he accompanied me to the fitting that early. He told me that there is nothing to worry about. Me and Sehun hung out in our house and chatted some more. After a few hours, I couldn't help but feel guilty towards Baekhyun so I decided to go to him and see if he's really fine. Furthermore, I should really get my stitches out because its been a week already. I don't have any plans to go to Soojung for her service though because she might harm me purposively.

In the hospital, when I saw Baekhyun, he looked perfectly well and energetic. I told him that I was worried because he did not get enough sleep yet. However, he told me that its not him that I should be worrying about but Soojung.

"Soojung hasn't got any sleep for I think about 40 hours already. I also doubt that she had been eating properly because she was the one who looked over everything before we were called for back up because the situation started to get off hand. She really gets too stubborn most of the time. She told us that she'll be going out for a few hours but I believe she isn't going to rest because I think she'll attend to her gown fitting since yours was originally scheduled spontaneous to hers."

I was surprised why Baekhyun was telling me this. I mean, should I even care? Its him I am worried about and not that rude girl. For all I know she's just doing all of these for show just how her parents looked like when they are all smiley in front of the crowd and their stakeholders.

Baekhyun gave me a look as if telling me that he is serious.

"Man, are you seriously not believing what I'm saying? Soojung even told us that she'll be back later to check on our tasks and the patients. Judging from how I knew her, she gets really OC (slang for obsessive compulsiveness) when it gets to her tasks and her patients. I think she might get burned out today. More than 40 hours with no sleep is no joke."

Baekhyun was about to talk some more but the hospital intercom called for his name and that he is needed to assist a surgery right away. He had no choice but bid me goodbye but he was showing me another look before he went away.

'What is wrong with that guy? What is he trying to make me do by telling me those things?'

I originally planned to ask Baekhyun to take out my stitches for me but now he's busy and is nowhere to be found. After giving it some thought, I think I'd just go and wait for Soojung in her office and annoy her once again to prove to Baekhyun that he is worrying for nothing. I'd just make my stitches as an excuse to go to her office without her thinking that I am interested to see her.

'Hah. Dream on Soojung. '

I really am not fond of waiting but seeing an annoyed Soojung in my head made me look forward to seeing her today. I wanted to make her pissed off again. It was already passed dinner time when I finally saw her approaching her office. Before she even saw me, I already saw her and she looked like a zombie. Her dark circles were showing and she looked really pale however she still maintained her "doctor stance". I can see that she is trying really hard to keep herself composed but I can see right through her eyes  which were already droopy and her eyebrows were now partially knitted.

Upon seeing me, I saw her tensed up but she just continued walking and even purposively walked past me without even acknowledging my presence.

'Is she trying to ignore me? Hah. Nice try.'

I went inside before she even did and sat opposite her table. I observed her for a few seconds and I started to bring up my stitches. She did not react for a few minutes and just stayed on her seat. She just closed her eyes for a few minutes while rubbing her temples.

'I think Baekhyun was right. She really isn't in a good state right now. I should not have bothered her today. She looked really tired and pale. '

My insides went squirmy and I instantly felt bad for actually thinking of bothering her right now. I was about to just let it go and take my leave but she suddenly went up and I assumed that she was going to comply to my request. I just let her do her thing while I carefully observed her every move. I am impressed at how she does everything smoothly without me feeling any pain. Her hands were moving swiftly and delicately. Her eyes, despite the exhaustion in them, were really intently focused on my wound. I am surprised at how she does it apathetically without feeling the least bit self-conscious despite the being aware that I am also intently looking at her face. I did not bother say a word until she was finished. I was taken aback when she suddenly fell and luckily, I caught her on time just before she hit the floor. I waited for her to regain herself as I became really conscious at how I am holding her right now. She felt really light and thin and she looked really vulnerable right now. Very different from how she looked like during our last encounter in Yoogeun's room. After she has collected herself and her things, I decided in my head that I should bring her home. I knew that she was going to go against the idea but I left her with no choice when I dragged her. She finally gave in and let me drive her home.

The whole trip was really quiet and none of us bothered to talk. I glanced at her every once in a while to check on her. I very well know that she is able to see me from the reflection on the window but I didn't care. Surprisingly, she stayed up during the whole ride. I even accompanied her up to her doorstep but I was expecting her to say something like a "thank you" maybe? When I heard nothing from her and I figured that he isn't going to say anything, I started to leave and walk away.

'This girl is really something. She isn't like many other girls. Baekhyun's probably right about her dedication to her profession and her being stubborn. Now I am really challenged. I think seeing her walls crumble when she falls in love would be entertaining to see. I am now determined to make her fall in love with me. This is the price she needed to pay for actually agreeing to the marriage. Plus, I'm getting a little bored these days and this girl right here will spice up my boring life. I'll see if someone like me could break it inside Soojung's heart. I bet it would really be fun to see. Its going to be show time.'