Youngbae woke up to the sound of his alarm that morning, his hand lazily crawling out from under the warm cushion and into the cold air, accidently knocking his phone over in the process. 

"Ugh, crap.", he cursed with husky voice, his clumsy fingers brushing against the floor beneath his bed, attempting at finding his phone without actually having to get up. The alarm sound was getting louder and louder and more annoying with every second and Youngbae heard the sound of rustling coming from the other part of the room. His hand frantically looked for the beeping device - but failed miserably, which is why Youngbae had no choice but to groan and get up while mumbling some profanities under his breath.

Once the alarm was finally turned off, he put his phone back on the nightstand, stretching and yawning. With every passing day, it became harder and harder to wake up and be motivated enough to participate in lessons that often bored him to death. The only subject he liked was PE: running on the tracking field was his little piece of freedom, his opportunity to let out all the energy that had built up in him during rather theoretical hours of lessons, hours of sitting around, listening here, listening there, reading this and writing that. Meh. And because his ankle was still in the healing process, he couldn't even do what he liked anymore. It was driving him nuts, not being able to run! He felt more aggressive than he already was, which was why he sometimes was a bit harsher on his roommate than he usually would be.  

Thinking about the said boy, Youngbae turned his head to glance at his side of the room, frowning when he saw that the other was still sleeping. It was odd. Normally, Jiyong would be up at least half an hour before him, showering and styling his weird blonde hair, picking out an outfit, basically spending time on things Youngbae needed two minutes for. He thought that his lesson might began a bit later before he remembered that they both were taking the same course on that day. The older male walked over to the side of the blonde's bed, awkwardly standing there, contemplating on whether to wake him up or not and if yes, how. It would actually be fun, watching him being late. For a moment, Youngbae asked himself if Jiyong would still be all smiley without his usual style of matching bright clothes and crazy hairdos and if he would be in a bad mood for once in his life like almost 80% of the people at school were at this time of the day. But then he remembered something ...

"I am doing it out of care, Youngbae-ah."

"I would like to have your company."

"I feel very lonely."

Youngbae sighed, convincing himself that he did not have to be such an and that waking him up would actually be the right thing to do since Jiyong obviously cared for his grades because his mother wanted to see his diploma ... Well, okay then. For the sake of that sick woman, he would do it. After all, not all mothers were as ruthless as his mum was when she abandoned him. But that was another story.

"Yah.", Youngbae said, lightly shaking the thin man, "Aren't you gonna wake up?"

He heard incomprehensible mumbling coming from Jiyong's mouth as the younger man moved around a bit before opening his eyes with difficulty. Youngbae didn't know if it was because he just woke up but he looked pale and had dark circles under his eyes. making the older male feel like he had just resurrected a zombie from the netherworld.

"Ugh, Youngbae-ah?" And he sounded horrible, too. His voice was hoarse, as if he had screamed his lungs out all night. "What time is it now?" 

"Should be around 7.40AM by now. If you don't want to be late, you should get up. Otherwise you won't have time for your daily beauty program.", Bae smirked mockingly and was about to walk away when Jiyong's throaty voice caused him to stop.

"Ah, I don't think I will make it to the first period today. Seems like I have caught a cold.", he said, coughing.

"Yeah, I can ... hear that."

"Would you be so kind and inform the teacher about my absence?"

Youngbae hesitated for a bit, staring at Jiyong before he eventually nodded. 

"Thank you." This kid. He was smiling again despite being pale like a ghost. Then again, Youngbae would not have expected anything else from Jiyong after having witnessed him grinning even with tears in his eyes before. He watched the petite blonde laying down again after having grabbed a few tissues from his nightstand, rolling to the other side of his bed. 

Youngbae remained by the side of it for a second, a thought briefly crossing his mind before he shrugged it off and made his way to the bathroom.

It was just a cold after all. It wouldn't kill him. 

He glanced at Jiyong's side of the room one more time as he was standing in front of the door and ready to leave. Upon seeing his roommate fast asleep, he finally made his way to the classroom. 

When he arrived, the sight of lazy students lying all over their desks greeted him, some quietly drooling on their books while others snored loudly. Others were playing games on their phones or listening to music with their headphones. It was apparent that nobody except a minority of four or five eager students in the front row were ready to solve maths problems so early in the morning.

At least Youngbae was not the only one with such a hard-working spirit, eh?

He sat down at his table, which was neither too close nor too far from the teacher's desk and placed his books and pencils on the table top. His place in the classroom perfectly reflected what kind of student Youngbae was: far from being a nerd with straight 'A's but definitely not completely dumb like those in the back row. He was average. He was in the middle. He was torn between being very good and very bad because there was no one who rooted for him to become the best but also no one he could depend on if his diploma would not be decent enough to enroll at a national university. 

"Look who we got here. How's your foot, sissy boy?"

Youngbae closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. If there was one voice that was more annoying than Jiyong's overly friendly one it was definitely this one. 

" off."

"Seems like your Jiyongie has nursed you well, huh? You are not limping like a cripple anymore.", the guy smirked, "He seems to like you a lot. I have never seen someone rush so quickly to you before.", the leader of the jerks pointed out, purposely emphasizing the word 'you' in a condescending manner that made it sound like he was referring to an inferior human being. 

"Isn't it a bit too early for your bull? Come on, just off and leave me alone. I am in no mood to talk to you right now."

"What, are you afraid now that your hero isn't by your side? Can't protect yourself on your own, eh?"

Youngbae had enough upon hearing that one phrase that made his blood boil.

He aggressively stepped towards the guy and gripped him by his collar, now drawing everyone's attention "Say that again.", he hissed with menacing voice, tightening his grip, causing the boy to struggle and protest. "I don't need him. I don't need anybody because I am strong enough to look after myself. Not that I view any of you s as a threat though. Just look at you. You are nothing more than a bunch of idiots who are cowardly playing tricks behind people's back, not man enough to even face me. I swear if - "

"What's going on here? Dong Youngbae, put him down. Now.", Mr. Kim ordered. 

Youngbae glared at the other boy one last time before he let go of him, hearing how he was cursed by him countless times. Loud whispering could be heard in the classroom that had been dead a few minutes ago. The teacher looked back and forth between the two boys, his eyes moving like two ping-pong balls. It seemed like he was pondering about which one of his students was the actual aggressor until his gaze finally fixed on Youngbae. 

"I will see you in the afternoon, Dong." 

Well, fantastic.

As expected the rest of the day went just as ty as the first two periods.

Youngbae had had to surpess the urge to punch the leader jerk countless times because that mutt was cockily grinning at him during the whole lesson due to the fact that he had ended up as the victim who didn't need to hear a lecture from their teacher. It irked him how smug and gleeful he looked, just ugh! It just made him furious! Plus, he received his history test back and the result was magnificent: D+. Well, so much about being 'average'. Youngbae felt incredibly dumb for having failed such an easy test and this just brought his mood down a bit more. And if that wasn't enough already, they had to serve cabbage soup for lunch. Cabbage soup. Freaking cabbage soup that smelled like diarrhea, tasted like diarrhea and almost caused him to have diarrhea himself after he had tried to gulp down a spoon of it.

Tried. 

Youngbae sighed and pushed his tray of 'food' aside, angrily slurping on his juice box until the bell finally rang. He quickly made his way to the tracking field because he knew Mr. Kim would be there. After all, if he did not have this damn injury, he would normally have PE with him now. 

He watched his feet as they were taking steps on the familiar red and rubbery ground beneath them and instantly became envious of everyone who actually got to run on it. Gosh. he would die to do that now, after such a y day. All this negative energy in him was killing him, making him feel like a bomb that could explode any moment. He desperately needed to do something to let his anger out, but he did not know any method other than sports.

"That bastard.", Youngbae mumbled, cursing the guy who was responsible for his agony.

"Oh, you came.", Mr. Kim said to him as soon as he has approached him.

Youngbae rolled his eyes at the obvious statement. "It's not like I had another choice, you know."

"Technically, you could have ditched me but you didn't and I am glad about that.", the teacher said, smiling at first before he seemed to realize something that made his smile fade away. "By the way, I haven't seen Jiyong today. He normally isn't not one to skip his classes."

"Ah he said he was sick this morning. I kind of uh ... forgot to tell you.", Youngbae admitted, rubbing his neck. Right. That jerk had totally made him forget about informing the teacher about the reason for his absence.

Mr. Kim nodded. "Is that so? I see. Poor guy."

"I said he had a cold, not lung cancer." Youngbae said, rolling his eyes. "He won't die."

"Would you stop being so insensitive? He is your roommate and really a nice kid. You should treat him better!", Mr. Kim scolded, shaking his head. 

"Is this conversation still about me or are we going to discuss about him now?", the student asked annoyed.

"Huh!", the teacher huffed, scanning the boy from head to toe until his gaze remained on Youngbae's feet. His hard expression softened slightly, turning into a sympathizing look. "Your ankle. Does it still hurt?"

"No, not really. But I am still not allowed to participate in the PE lesson."

"When do you think you can come back then?"

Youngbae shrugged, watching the others running their laps on the tracking field. "I don't know. Perhaps in a week or so."

"I see.", Mr. Kim said, following the boy's gaze as a brief moment of silence settled between the two. "Youngbae, I would like to ask you something and I want you to give me an honest answer." 

"Hm?"

"That time when you hurt your ankle, did you really just trip?"

"Are you trying to imply something?"

"Just answer my question. Did you or did you not?"

Youngbae sighed. If he said truth, he would feel like a miserable snitch, a weakling that needed help from others. He knew that Jiyong had lied back then in order to not cause any trouble for them all, maybe he was partly trying to save his own , too, by not telling on the group of jerks, maybe he had told that lie because he simply was too nice. Or it was because he knew that Youngbae would not have wanted him to speak the truth in that moment because that would have made him feel humiliated in front of people who mustn't perceive him as a weak person. If that was really it, then Jiyong seriously creeped him out. 

Mr. Kim reacted to Youngbae's silence by putting a hand on his student's shoulder. "Tell me, was the reason why you were so angry at Minseok this morning ... that he is responsible for your injury?"

"It's not like that. He was just annoying me, okay? You out of all the people here should know that I am a short-tempered person. I don't have patience when it comes to these things."

"Youngbae, why are you being like this? Why won't you let anybody come close to you and help you?"

"Because I don't need anyone's help, I am strong enough to look after myself! Dammit, why are you and Jiyong babying me all the time?! It's seriously getting on my nerves! You don't have to feel responsible for me, nobody has to! I have always been alone, I am used to it and I am fine with it! So why don't you all just shut up and leave me the alone!?"

The teacher retracted his hand and shook his head. "You are not fine with it. You are just acting. Stop lying to yourself, Youngbae. It won't do you any good if you keep pretending to be strong when you are actually broken inside. It's not only you, everyone needs people in their lives, needs care and love, someone they can depend on and lean on during hard times. Those are human needs, those are natural, Youngbae. It doesn't make you weak when you open yourself up to people, it makes you human."

"Huh, human. If that's what makes me human then I refuse to be one. What are humans good for anyway? Humans are ing hypocrites! They pretend that they like you and care about you in one moment and are gone forever in the next one. It just needs a few bills. A few ing bills and some sweet words from a wealthy little bastard to make a mother abandon her own flesh and blood. And it needs a little bit of attitude and some more words to push people away from you and make them despise you. And if those small things already make people leave, then doesn't this tell us something about human relationships? Say, doesn't it tell us how unstable they are, how fading and shallow they are? How can I depend on people when I know that they won't be there for me? The only person who will, is me. It's myself that I depend on and no one else."

"Youngbae, you might have encountered such people in your young life but that doesn't mean that everyone is as ruthless and cruel as them. You cannot possibly stereotype all humans in this world like this, it's wrong. You have to believe me when I tell you that no matter how heartless people seem nowadays, there are still some genuine individuals who value benevolence and humanity more than money and other material things. I agree that it is hard to find them nowadays but if you open your eyes a bit and if you give people a chance, you will recognize them in an instant. And they will be so good to you. They will bring you so much joy, I promise you that." 

"My eyes are always open. I am not a naive person, I can tell what kind of person someone is just by looking at them. And until now, there hasn't been a single person who didn't confirm my thoughts on your beloved little humans."

Mr. Kim shook his head. "You haven't seen clearly then, because there is someone who is different."

Youngbae looked at him in disbelief, arching his famous eyebrow suspiciously.

"I am talking about Kwon Jiyong."

The student let out an amused laugh. "Oh, come on!"

"You don't have to laugh, Youngbae. I am serious. Jiyong is the first person who has not left your side, even though he was fully aware of the fact that you absolutely disliked his company. You obviously threw harsh words on his head, making it apparent just how unwanted he was, reminding him every day that you find him annoying and that you want him to leave. Now, according to your thesis, it only takes 'a few words and a little bit of attitude' to push people away from you, right? If so, then how come you couldn't shoo Jiyong away? How come he is still in that room with you, not complaining about his situation?"

Youngbae snorted. "Well, I can tell you why: It's because he doesn't have a choice. There is no other place for him other than in my room so he is forced to adapt, simple as that. If he complained, he would have to leave and he knows that. As soon as he has the possibility to move, he will. And after that, he will pretend that we never met. I can guarantee that. His act of kindness is just temporarily."

Mr. Kim smiled smugly. "What if I told you that he had had the chance to move long ago?"

Youngbae's eyes widened. "...What?"

"It's true. Jiyong hasn't told you, but in the second week after his arrival, someone from dorm 3 left school for private reasons. Upon hearing that, I talked to Jiyong. I knew that you weren't satisfied with the new situation and I knew that you would make this obvious to your roommate, so I thought that I would do you both a favour if I offered Jiyong to move to that free room. But to my surprise, he declined."

"He ... declined?"

Mr. Kim nodded. "Yes. He told me that he was happy with his current situation and that he really liked you and politely rejected my offer. I found it odd at first, too but the more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that Jiyong had been sincere when said that he wanted to stay with you in that room."

"But ... but he told me that he would move. He told me there wasn't any news about someone leaving.", Youngbae mumbled confusedly, frowning a bit.

"Well, it seems that he lied to you in order to be able to stay with you ... By the way, that room in dorm 3 is even a bit bigger than your room. However, that didn't manage to change Jiyong's mind either. Hence your second thesis about people leaving for material reasons has just been negated, hasn't it?", Mr. Kim said, smiling proudly. 

Youngbae stared at his teacher and then stared at the tracking field again, puzzled. Had he heard correctly? Jiyong had had the opportunity to leave but ... he didn't?

He didn't understand. Youngbae couldn't understand why he would stay with someone who wanted him gone. It just didn't make sense ...

"But I am not faking it. I do like you, Youngbae-ah."

"I understand your loneliness [...] I am a lot like you."

"Yes. But I would like to have your company."

These phrases ... In Youngbae's mind, they sounded a bit different than before. 

__

A/N: As promised, an update! :) Iam sorry that there is not much gdyb action in it but I thought that some of you might want to know a bit more about Youngbae's mindset and get a few hints about his past as well. I hope this chapter helps you to understand his character a bit better. I know it's weird for you to see our Youngbae like this since he is usually a friendly and gentle character in my stories >.< Ah, but who knows, maybe that side of him is hidden somewhere inside of him? Who knows ...?

Ah another thing, the fact that I named the "jerk' Minseok is purely coincidental! I was not trying to refer to Exo's Xiumin and I wasn't trying to insult him either (!), so if one of you is an Exo fan, please don't misunderstand ok? Just borrowed his name :3

I am surprised that "Illumination" actually has 20 subscribers, thank you guys! <3 Thanks for sticking with me, really. Even though it's not an unique plot and it's not going to be a long fic and it probably tends to be boring at some parts, you are still reading my average stuff and that makes me really, really happy. Honestly, thank you guys! 

Please tell me your thoughts and feel free to point out mistakes and things that you dislike. I love reading your comments and I will reply to every single one of them, no matter if they are long or short. They are all precious to me <3

P.S You might like the next chapter a bit more, I have some plans for it already ^^