"Youngbae-ah, here. I brought you something."

"What's that?"

Youngbae examined the white paper bag Jiyong held in front of him, his eyebrow immediately arching suspiciously, an act that had actually become a habit whenever Jiyong approached him with that annoying, kind tone in his voice that still confused him like hell. 

"It's a sandwich.", pretty boy replied, smiling like always."I didn't see you at the cafeteria today and figured that it must be too troublesome for you to walk around with your hurt ankle and all. That's why I bought this, thinking you might be hungry."

"I told you not to treat me like someone who was involved in a car accident. I am perfectly fine, stop pitying me.", the older male snorted, turning to the other side of his bed. He couldn't stand that sympathizing look in Jiyong's eyes, that look that made it seem like he was gazing right into his soul. It was terrifying and it made him feel exposed. Youngbae despised that feeling. He wanted Jiyong gone from his loneliness, wanted him to vanish, wanted to mute the sound of his friendly voice and wipe away that chronic smile on his face. 

It was intimidating - in a strange way. 

He felt the edge of his bed dip slightly. Jiyong must have sat down on it. 

"But I am not doing this out of pity, I am doing it out of care, Youngbae-ah."

"You have no reason to care about me. You don't even know me."

"Hm, you are right, I don't know you too well. But you know, I just ... I mean, I just think that you don't necessarily have to know people in order to care for them. Sometimes, you just do it because you feel that it's the right thing to do. And in that moment, buying that sandwich was something that my heart told me to do. And I did.", Jiyong responded, chuckling. "Besides, I already told you that I liked you, didn't I?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Go care for someone who needs your care then and leave me alone." Youngbae sighed and burried his head in his pillow, not wanting to listen to pretty boy anymore, not wanting to hear his stupid goody-goody-talk that only got on his nerves. It was so ridicilous. Why would he care for someone he didn't know? And why would someone who didn't know him care about him? His mother should have known him, but she didn't. She should have cared for him, but she didn't. And if the heart of the woman who gave birth to him didn't tell her to look out for her son, why would someone else's do so? 

Rubbish.

"I should let you rest. I am putting the sandwich right here on your nightstand, in case you get hungry, okay?"

Youngbae noticed how the additional bit of weight on his bed disappeared and heard Jiyong's gentle footsteps fading away from his earshot. After a while, when it had become kind of hard to breathe with his face pressed on his pillow so tightly, the older male turned his head slightly, one eye peeking at Jiyong's side of the room. He saw him leaving the bathroom and walking towards his wardrobe, opening it, exposing tons of clothes hanging from dozens of hangers, some folded neatly on the upper shelf. That guy .. He had been here for a few weeks only and already owned more clothes than Youngbae, who had lived here for a bit more than a year. Jiyong scanned his wardrobe for a while before his eyes seemed to have found something suitable to wear. His hands grasped the hem of his shirt and lifted it up slowly, revealing his white and smooth back. Youngbae looked at him a bit more intensely, studying the shape of his body. Even though he found him annoying, he couldn't deny that his figure was sort of ... nice. He had a long neck and his back was lettered with some strange English phrase that Youngbae did not quite understand. His eyes travelled a bit lower, noting the small size of the younger boy's waist, his gaze went a little bit lower and -

And the sudden ringing of Jiyong's cellphone almost gave him a heartattack.

Youngbae quickly pressed his face into his pillow again, so harshly though, that it felt as if he had broken his nose as well. . He had felt his heart skip a beat for a moment. He didn't think he could have handled the embarassment of Jiyong catching him looking at him. He would have beared the pain of a broken nose, but not the pain of being caught while gawking at him, no, no, no. Absolutely not!

What was he doing anyway? Had he just ... checked him out?

Youngbae shuddered when the realization that he had just done that hit him. He was momentarily disgusted with himself, flustered, embarassed to the max, even though Jiyong had not even caught him. The older male turned to the other side of his bed again, facing his nightstand and the paper bag that was placed on it.

It wasn't his fault. Jiyong just reminded him too much of a girl sometimes, didn't he? Why did he have to be so petite anyway? Pfft.

The older male decided to do what he always did when he wanted to escape from reality: grab a book and read - or pretend that he was reading. Hogwarts sounded like more fun than this boring school anyway. 

Well, it did happen again though.

Youngbae caught himself observing Jiyong more frequently. Not when he was changing (that made him feel like a ert), but when he was busy doing ordinary things, like cleaning, doing his homework or talking on the phone. He wanted to find out why he was acting the way he did, why he was smiling the way he did, talking the way he did. The more he looked at him, the weirder he seemed in Youngbae's eyes. To many others, pretty boy was just perfect. He was sociable and nice, had quickly made friends and liked helping out. But to Youngbae, the way he acted was unusual, unnatural. Jiyong was too sociable, too nice and too helpful. It wasn't normal. Or maybe it was normal and Youngbae had just met too many crazy people before. Either way, it was disturbing. Youngbae did not know how to react to the attention that Jiyong gave him, he did not want him to invade his privateness even more. That was exactly what his roommate was doing though, according to him. 

"Youngbae-ah, let's change your bandage."

There it was again. That voice. Youngbae put his book away when he felt the edge of his bed dip again under his roommate's light weight. The latter was holding a white bundle of cloth in his hands that he waved in front of him, smiling. Youngbae arched his brow.

"Where did you get this from?"

"From the infirmary. You never went there to get a check-up on your ankle, did you?", pretty boy said in an accusing tone, raising his forefinger in a playful manner  "It's important to change the bandage. The nurse lady clearly emphasized that point."

Youngbae pulled his foot away. "I can do that on my own."

"Come on, it will just take a second.", Jiyong insisted, gently grasping the older male's ankle."If you let me do it, your ankle will heal quicker and the quicker it heals the quicker you can go back to the tracking field. Ah, that was a lot of 'quick',  right?", he giggled.

Youngbae sighed in annoyance but did not protest, letting Jiyong undo his old bandage. He was so gentle while doing it that he barely noticed that he was being touched. He gazed at his face and noticed his focused expression, the lip bite and a little crease between his eyebrows. Funny. It was only when Jiyong was concentrated like this that he actually frowned. 

"So, did nobody move out from his room yet?", Youngbae asked, still watching Jiyong.

The other male shook his head. "Sorry, I haven't heard any news about that. But say ..."

Youngbae saw how the focused expression in Jiyong's face changed into a slightly disappointed one, his mouth transforming into a pouty set of pink lips, causing him to arch his brow.

"Is it really that bad to share a room with me?", pretty boy asked sincerely, "You know, I am really trying my best to not disturb you. Am I still doing something wrong?"

The sound of Jiyong's voice in that moment bothered Youngbae for some reason. He was not used to this serious, sad and calm tone he was using. It was kind of odd after only having known him as the annoying happy virus that he normally was. What was he doing wrong? It wasn't something Youngbae could put a name on actually, not something he could possibly describe let alone tell him. No he couldn't tell Jiyong that he couldn't stand the way he was treating him, the way he looked at him, as if he was gazing right into his soul. Youngbae had always been a loner for a reason after all. He didn't trust anyone and got suspicious of every person who seemed to have good intentions with him and Jiyong was no exception. Then again, pretty boy had proven his honesty a little bit, hadn't he? After all, he had taken Youngbae seriously when he had said that he was being too loud - and became quieter. He couldn't agrue that Jiyong was trying ...

It made him feel ... guilty?

"It's ... It .... It's not you okay? I just don't like having company, that's all.", Youngbae said with difficulty.

"Is it because you have been alone for so long?", Jiyong asked, smiling slightly.

"What?"

"You are not used to this, right? Having someone to talk to you, care for you, ask for your well-being. It must be so new to you that it's confusing. I think I understand."

"Pah! What could you possibly understand? You don't know anything. You have your happy little family at home, waiting for you, calling you almost every ing day, worrying about you and , so stop talking nonsense!"

Jiyong quietly finished bandaging Youngbae's ankle before he looked up, gazing directly into his roommates eyes. "My mum is ill."

To that, the older male reacted with a confused "Huh?", indicating that he did not get what Jiyong meant and why he even brought that up all of a sudden. He had never looked into pretty boy's brown eyes as intensely as he did now.

Jiyong smiled, but it wasn't one of his usual bright smiles. "You know, the more time I pass here, the more worried I am about her.  Is she taking her medicine? Is she eating properly? Is she visiting the doctor regularly? When I said that I understood, I meant that I understood your loneliness, Youngbae-ah and the way you always want to manage things on your own, not letting anyone interfere in your business. In fact, I am a lot like you, even though I always insist on you accepting my help.", the younger boy chuckled lightly, "Back home, I am the one looking after my mother. My dad left us when I was still young ... I cannot remember his face very well. Soojin, my sister, was still a baby at that time. There were a lot of hard times, but we managed somehow, the three of us. That was until mum became sick. That was when I understood how much mum had been going through for us. All the burdens were suddenly lying on my shoulders: work, household, bills ... on top of that, there was school. I had to do everything on my own and I never wanted help from anyone. 'I can do that on my own' , I don't know how many times I have used this phrase. But you know what it led me to? Loneliness. I feel very lonely. Even when I am in the middle of a crowd of people, I feel lonely."

Jiyong paused for a while and started chewing on his bottom lip, probably in deep thought. Youngbae had been listening so attentively that he had not even noticed the glassy film in the younger boy's eyes. Was he about to ... cry? 

"And now that I am away from home, I feel even lonelier. I feel anxious. I am scared that something could happen while I am here."

"Stupid. Why did you come here then? Shouldn't you be at home looking for her?", Youngbae said almost accusingly.

Jiyong smiled. "That's what I was thinking, too. But she insisted. She said she wanted to see my diploma, wanted my future to be secured. And she wanted me to smile. That's why I am smiling as often as I can."

"When are you not smiling? You are even smiling when you are crying.", Youngbae remarked, not expecting to cause Jiyong to laugh and smile even brighter. 

"Why are you laughing now?"

But Jiyong just kept smiling while looking at him. Youngbae shook his head. 

That kid. How could he be so happy all the time after everything he had obviously went through? Was his 24/7 smile just an act then? What was this 'you need to accept help from time to time' if he himself did not even follow his own advice? In some ways, the two of them were similiar, both sensing another kind of loneliness inside of them, both insisting on doing things on their own. Then again, they were completely different: Other than Youngbae, Jiyong had not lost his faith in the remaining good things in this world, like benevolence, friendship and family. No matter how often people had left him alone, he still welcomed them with open arms. He wasn't angry at them, like Youngbae was, wasn't isolating himself like Youngbae did. 

Jiyong was fighting whereas Youngbae had given up long ago.

"Yah, y-you are done with the bandaging thing now aren't you?", Youngbae muttered, not standing the way Jiyong was staring at him with that bright smile and sparkling eyes, acting as if he had just complimented him or something. It was embarassing and annoying, so he looked away.

"Yeah. I am sorry."

"Whatever."

"Youngbae-ah?"

"What is it now?"

The older male rolled his eyes and turned his face towards pretty boy, who looked a bit like he was hesitating to say something that just came to his mind. 

"Can I ... stay here now? Because I think ... I need company.", Jiyong asked, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"There are others who can do that. Besides, you have befriended like half of the people at this school.", the older male replied, scoffing.

"Yes. But I would like to have your company."

Youngbae, pulled his hand back from the Harry Potter book he was about to grab again, staring at Jiyong in disbelief. He wanted his company? He wanted to stay with him, out of all the people? Him, the loner, the one who directly told him that he wanted him gone? That did not make sense. As far as Youngbae could remember, he had been pushing Jiyong away since day one and still, that pretty boy always came back to him as if nothing happened. What was he expecting Youngbae to give him? The older male was astonished and confused. 

Well after all, if Jiyong was away, he would have to deal with some other fella Mr. Kim would introduce to him sooner or later and he honestly did not have the nerves to do that. Might as well keep Jiyong who was at least obedient, right?

Right?

"I will consider it, okay?", Youngbae eventually replied, noting the change in Jiyong's expression again: It was a content smile. 

"Thank you, Bae-ah!"

What the - 

Bae-ah?!

___

A/N: Hey guys! First of all, thanks a lot for your positive feedback! Made me VERY happy! <3 

Since I am not planning into making this a long fic (actually, idk how many more chapters of this I will write), I am scared that I am moving too fast. What do you think, am I moving too fast or is the pace okay? >.< 

This chapter is not as long as the one before but I felt like it was right to end it right here. I hope you are still okay with that :)

Again, thanks a lot for reading, subscribing and commenting <3