"No. Absolutely no. Go find someone else."

"But this is the only room that is actually free!"

A new roommate? Well, scratch the word 'new', because Youngbae had never had a roommate before and he did not intend to change his mind about that, especially not so suddenly, when they told him about it the same day this new student had arrived instead of informing him beforehand. Then again, Youngbae did not think that he would have accepted it if they had actually told him earlier. 

He would never allow anyone to interfere in his loneliness.

Once and for all, the answer would be 

"No."

"Youngbae!"

"I have said earlier that I wished to have a room for myself, haven't I? I don't get along with people and this guy will be no exception. So cut it out and go find someone else to discuss this with because you are wasting your time and more importantly, you are wasting mine. I won't change my mind, never, so don't bother with trying to convince me." 

With that, Youngbae plopped down on his bed again, grabbing the Harry Potter book he had been reading, frowning when he couldn't remember which passages he had already read and which not. He huffed in annoyance when he still felt Mr. Kim's stare on the back of the thick book that shielded his face away from his penetrating gaze. Youngbae knew he was pissing him off  but he didn't care because the whole world had been pissing him off since the day he had been born and nobody cared about that either so might as well just play along and show no empathy at all.

"Youngbae.", he heard the teacher say sternly, "I am not obligated to tolerate your behaviour and the informal way you are speaking to me. If I wanted, I could simply throw you out of here in an instant."

"Are you trying to threaten me now? How lame."

"I am not trying to threaten you at all. I want to remind you though that you are not the prince of this school, that you cannot always be treated differently than other students. The fact that you have this room for yourself is because I spent almost an hour trying to convince our principal to give you permission. Do you know how dry my mouth was afterwards?"

Youngbae scoffed, putting the book away because he could not concentrate with Mr. Kim standing in his room and nagging so loudly. "I won't feel guilty for something I did not even ask you to do. You did it all yourself. If I had wanted, I would have convinced him myself at that time. But thanks anyway.", he smirked provokingly.

Mr. Kim shook his head, obviously disappointed by his ungratefulness. "And to think that it would be worth standing up for you. What was I even thinking, trying to protect you, trying to understand you. See, you won't even listen to me when I ask you for a small favour like this."

Youngbae stood up and and looked out of the window, the confident smile on his face fading once he was not facing his teacher anymore.People were weird. Why did they waste their time with him if they knew he wasn't worth it? Why had he been accepted at this damn school if his education was not worth it? Why had his mother even given birth to him if she knew he was not going to be worth looking after? He hated that. He hated how everyone acted like they were caring about him when in reality, nobody gave a damn about his life. Until now, he had not encountered a single person who wasn't like that, not a single person who did not give up on him sooner or later, who did not realise that he was 'not worth it', that he was 'difficult'. And if that is how all people were, he would prefer being alone because fake care was worse than having nobody to care about him at all. Youngbae did not think much about himself, that might be true. But at least, he stayed honest to the man he saw in the mirror.

"Uhm, Mr. Kim?"

Youngbae arched his brow. What kind of voice was that? It was so ... soft, almost girly. He had to admit though that it had sparked his curiosity. His body itched to turn around and face his door again in order to see what this roommate of his looked like. However, his pride did not allow him to do that right away. Instead his gaze remained on the dark clouds outside, watching how a few sunrays infiltrated them.

"Jiyong, I am really sorry about his behaviour.", he heard Mr. Kim say apologetically, "You see, he has never had a roommate before, so this whole situation is a bit new to him. It is also partly my fault for only telling him now though. I should have spoken to him earlier about this."

"Don't worry about it, I think I can understand that. Must be weird to share a room with a complete stranger like me after being alone for so long, huh?"

This time, Youngbae felt as if this person had talked to him directly and as much as his ego told him to remain in his safe position at the window, he could not help but turn around, curiosity finally winning its battle against pride.

The first thing he noticed was that he was smiling.

Yes, this Jiyong guy was smiling and that even though Youngbae was pretty sure that he had an unfriendly scowl on his face that would make any person want to sleep in a cold storeroom rather than sharing a room with him. 

"Hi, my name is Kwon Jiyong. Nice to meet you!"

Youngbae did not greet back. He was too busy eyeing the boy suspiciously, starting from his shoes. He was wearing a pair of ridicilously colorful sneakers and black skinny jeans covered his slender legs. His waist, too, was rather narrow for a guy. Youngbae's eyes travelled up to his torso, noting the just as colorful t-shirt and finally, his face. What a flower boy he was, with his blonde hair and those pretty features. Almost like a girl, he thought. He looked so ... out of place, like someone who did not belong in here, in this shabby school, in this ordinary room. 

Youngbae knew right away that he didn't want him to be here with him but before he could even protest, one thing lead to another and Jiyong was already unpacking his things, humming a happy melody in the process. Youngbae's protests had been stopped for an unknown reason. It could have been Mr.Kim's threat to throw him out or it could have been that stupid grinn on pretty boy's face but one thing was clear: Just because he did not fight back anymore did not mean that he was ready to accept his new roommate. He wouldn't stay for long anyway. Youngbae knew he did not even need to make plans on how to chase him away because everyone left him sooner or later. He was too difficult after all. He was too different.

Why would this one be an exception?

"I am really sorry how things turned out, Youngbae-ah. I did not know that they told you only now that you would get a roommate. It must be awkward, right?", he heard Jiyong chuckling. "Ah, but don't worry. I am easy to get along with actually. I must warn you though that I am a complete neat freak, I cannot stand it when my things are dirty or in disorder. Even the thought of it makes me shudder, uwah!", another hearty chuckle, "Anyway, it has its advantages, too. You will never have to worry about me causing a mess and we'll never have to fight over one of us having to clean the room because I'll gladly volunteer!"

Giggling, giggling, giggling.

It annoyed the out of Youngbae how often Jiyong laughed. The things he told him about were not even funny or anything so why the hell did he have to laugh after every sentence? Youngbae sighed and grabbed his book again, trying to read so he did not have to concentrate on the other male anymore. He bit his lip hard when he heard the annoying sound of him humming that disgustingly happy melody again.

"Oh, you're a Harry Potter fan then? That totally reminds me of my sister. She is basically in love with every single book even though she must have read them a million times already. And she's only ten years old, can you believe that? Ah, I miss her already.", Jiyong sighed deeply and Youngbae heard the muffled sound of him probably plopping down on his bed."Say Youngbae, does it take long to get used to this place? I am asking because I seriously miss my family right now."

"I don't know."

"Don't you miss yours?"

"No."

"Eh? You don't? I guess you must have gotten used to everything then." Chuckle."I don't know about me though. It's embarassing to admit but I am much of a mama's boy actually. It's her fault for pampering me so much, I guess."

Youngbae's grip on the book tightened.

"I mean I am grateful to her for all the love that she has given me. But there are times when I wish that she had let me do things on my own so that I would be less sensitive about being away from home, less anxious. Hm, but I guess moms cannot help but love their kids a bit too much sometimes, right?"

Youngbae threw the book away.

"Can't you shut up for a second? I have re-read the same passage twenty times already because of your stupid chatter!", he finally snapped. "Stop telling me things I did not ask you about!"

Jiyong looked taken aback for a second, his eyes widening, pink mouth shaped to an 'o'.  "Oh ... I am sorry if I disturbed you while reading, Youngbae-ah."

"It's not about the damn book, okay? Stop talking to me, acting as if you would know me, as if you would want to be friends with me. I am not interested in getting to know you so keep quiet and tell whatever you have to tell to somebody who cares! Just because you are living here now does not mean that I have to acknowledge your presence or that I am welcoming you with open arms! I am still pissed about you being here and I will always be so you better move to another room as soon as possible, got it?

Youngbae breathed heavily once he was finished, his face showing nothing but pure agony about the fact that he no longer was alone, no longer safe. He watched Jiyong's reaction. The other male kept quiet for a while, his face showing confusion, emphasized with a small frown between his fine eyebrows. However, just a few seconds later, something else replaced the frown: it was that stupid smile again. Youngbae felt like punching him. How could he even smile after everything he had just said to him? Shouldn't he be shouting back or crying or anything like that? 

"I am sorry. I really am.", Jiyong simply said. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a plain 'sorry'. Youngbae looked at him one last time, not liking the mysterious sparkle in the boy's light brown eyes after he had uttered his apology. That's it, he thought. And without  a single word, he made his way to the bathroom, shutting the door loudly. He needed a shower to calm his nerves.

The next weeks went by quitetly - literally.

After that one incident, Jiyong had never talked to him more than necessary, always making sure to not speak louder than he needed for the other to hear him. His tone was always friendly, no matter how grumpy or rude Youngbae would be and that annoying chuckle after every sentence was still there, unfortunately, bugging the hell out of him. Jiyong had become quieter, yes. But that mouth of his was always smiling and laughing and Youngbae started to ask himself if he was on drugs sometimes because he could not believe that someone could be in such a good mood 24/7. It wasn't normal. It was almost gross, the way he would ask him if he already ate, the way he would casually pick up Youngbae's dirty laundry in order to wash it together with his, the way he would open and close the door, so carefully and gingerly, trying hard not to make any sound that could possibly disturb Youngbae while he was reading again. He had thought that Jiyong's noisiness had been annoying but him being so overly careful freaked him out even more. Was he afraid of him? Did he think Youngbae would beat him up if he did or said anything wrong? Did he really give off that kind of vibe the first time he snapped at him?

Youngbae huffed, concentrating on the remaining laps he had to run. He couldn't  care less about what pretty boy thought about him, right?

The PE lesson had always been his favourite, especially when they had to run laps on the tracking field like this. Youngbae loved running non-stop, loved  feeling free like a bird. It was an alternative to the feeling that a sticky classroom usually gave him. Here, he could spread his wings and fly, make time pass in full speed, shorten the time he had to stay at school. Not that he longed to go home. But he did not exactly want to stay here either.

Youngbae was concentrating on the music coming from his earplugs, trying to match his steps with the rhythm of the music when suddenly, a certain someone with a certain annoying smile passed him. Youngbae glanced to his side and saw Jiyong, who was also listening to music, his slim neck covered in sweat, face flushed from effort. He shot him a bright smile, but Youngbae only frowned and looked away, almost blinded by it. This guy really had some nerves, even bugging him during his favourite lesson. He thought he felt his heartbeat increase from annoyance.

Suddenly, in that very moment that Youngbae had not paid attention, he noticed his body falling to the ground. 

He groaned, "What the ?"

When he looked up, he saw a group of guys high-fiving each other and laughing. Youngbae gritted his teeth. He knew those ers well. They were a bunch of idiots he had fights with often during PE class because well, it was sports and Youngbae hated it when people did not play fairly and these guys just happened to break the rules a bit too often for his taste.

He was gonna teach them a lesson, but his ankle hurt like hell. Youngbae flinched when he tried to get up. "You bastards, I swear youl will pay for this move!", he screamed at them.

"Hah, you deserved it, midget! That's what you get for having such a big mouth last week. I am not gonna let myself get detention again because of you!"

"Well how about you get yourself a good beating then, huh?"

"With that state you are in now?", the guy laughed, kicking Youngae's sides.

"Yah, what's going on here? Stop this now!"

Jiyong?

"Don't interfere in this, newbie! This is non of your business!"

"Oh, so you expect me to let you guys keep hurting him,  acting as if I did not see anything? What a joke! You better get lost or I will tell on you.", Jiyong said confidently, kneeling down to check on Youngbae.

"What the- , you little snitch. How old are you? Ten?", the guy was about to kick the younger boy as well when they suddenly heard the voice of their teacher coming closer. It was Mr. Kim. "Guys!"

"I did not remember giving you permission to stop. Why have you all stopped running and why is Youngbae on the ground?", he asked suspiciously, eyeing each of them. 

"It's nothing, sir. Youngbae just tripped and the others and me came to check on him. I was about to take him to infirmary anyway.", Jiyong explained nonchalantly.

With that being said, Mr. Kim ordered the other guys (who were surprised that the 'newbie' had kept quiet) to finish their laps and let Jiyong take a protesting, nagging and furious Bae to the infirmary, where the school nurse took care of him. 

One of the things Youngbae hated most was being vulnerable. 

He hated how Jiyong stood there, a sympathetic look in his stupid brown eyes, as he watched the nurse bandaging his ankle. He did not want to seem weak in front of him even if he could not care less about what Jiyong thought about him. He just hated being hurt and it was all Jiyong's fault. Why did he have to bother him at the tracking field anyway, smiling at him and all. If it hadn't been for him, Youngbae woul have  noticed those guys before they could even lay a finger on him!

Stupid Jiyong and his stupid smile.

"It's nothing serious, just lightly sprained. You should avoid sports for a while though and let this heal properly, alright?"

Great. First he got a roommate and now he couldn't even do what he loved anymore. Awesome.

"Okay", Youngbae scoffed.

"Thank you.", Jiyong said, bowing, making the other male arch one of his brows.

"Why are you thanking her?", he asked after the nurse was out of sight, "It's not like you are the one who sprained his ankle. Besides, this is her job. She gets paid for treating me after all. Huh!"

Jiyong smiled slightly, taking a seat on the stool in front of his roommate. "Still, it doesn't hurt to say 'thank you', does it? Besides I don't think she is only doing this for money."

"Whatever.", Youngbae huffed, looking to the side.

"Does it still hurt a lot?"

"As if such a small thing would hurt me. I am perfectly fine, stop acting like I was involved in  a car accident."

"Well, I am glad then. I was really worried about you because it  seemed like you were in much pain earlier. It's fortunate that it has gotten better now."

Youngbae faced Jiyong's smiling face, a bit confused.

'worried'? He had been worried about such a small thing? But why? Why would he be worried about a guy who treated him so harshly? Youngbae imagined what it would be like for him seeing the boy who shoved him today getting hurt. He tried to imagine what kind of feelings he would have and eventually drew the conclusion that he would be anything but 'worried' so why the hell did Jiyong say such nonsense? It was confusing.

"Why are you so nice to me?", he asked, almost angrily.

"What do you mean?", the younger male asked in return, blinking.

"Why are you kind to me even though I made it obvious that you annoy me? I told you to stop acting as if you liked me. I hate fake people."

"But I am not faking it. I do like you, Youngbae-ah."

Youngbae looked at him in disbelief. What the hell?

Jiyong chuckled (of course). "I mean, I have no reason to dislike you. Yes, you are a very straightforward person and you don't like talking that much but that's just you. And I am okay with who you are. To be frank with you, I was pretty astonished when you scolded me the first time we met. I was embarassed and did not know what to reply at first. But the more I pondered about what you had said, the more I admired you for your honesty in that moment. It helped me to become more cautious of things that would probably disturb you and it helped us to get along with each other in some way. So I am glad you told me all those things back then. But still ..." 

Youngbae watched Jiyong biting his lip, probably trying to put his next thoughts into the the right words.

"But still ... it's not such a bad thing to accept help sometimes. And I wish for you ... to do that, to accept help sometimes. Because doing that does not mean being weak. In fact, it can also be a form of strength."

Jiyong was still smiling after he said that but to Youngbae's eyes, it was a different kind of smile. He couldn't really put a name on it but it was almost ... 'knowing' ? It was as if he was reading him like an open book in that moment and Youngbae did not know how to find that. A part of him was creeped out, refusing to expose his innermost thoughts and feelings so easily to this pretty boy. 

Another part though ... felt strangely relieved, for being understood.

It was odd but Youngbae couldn't stand looking at Jiyong again, so he locked his gaze on a random object in the infirmary, still noticing Jiyong's smile from the corner of his eyes.