You don't, but no one does. There is always someone that's worse off than you. I didn't know that. And now that limited knowledge was following me to another big city where I was going to start over. And as I sat on the train, looking out the window I breathed on the glass but didn't bother to draw shapes in the fog. I felt my wavy hair go up and down with my breathing.

She'd said we'd keep in touch, but it had been weeks since I'd heard from her last. I couldn't put my trip on halt just for her. But I would have stopped the world from turning if I could, just to see her one more time before leaving. Not many people have meant anything to me. My family, of course, but I never really had anyone else.

Until that winter where the four of us came together somehow, and decided the rest of our futures. As I was thinking of all the things I didn't say to her, I saw her rushing. She looked happy despite being so late, and knowing she may have missed me. I looked at my wathch and decided to take advantage of the last 20 minutes I was going to spend in this town. I'd spend it saying goodbye to her.

"Sooyoung!" She  ran towards me, so obviously out of breath. Taeyeon wasn't far behind. She was huffing as well and stopped to smile at me right behind Tiffany.

"I can't believe you guys came!" Tears stung my eyes.

"We couldn't miss you!" Tiffany said squezzing me hard.

"Yeah ShikShin!" Taeyeon laughed her ajuhmma laugh and brought me in for a hug just as tight.

I hugged them both at the same time. I was re-thinking my trip now.

As if Tiffany could read my mind, "Don't you even think about backing out now, you've got so much ahead of you."

I nodded letting the tears fall now, if only...

"What I miss?" The monotone voice spun me around and I came face to face with Jessica now, smiling in a way that didn't match her bored tone. I hugged her and cried harder.

"Why did you come?" Sooyoung asked, she knew Jessica hated getting up in the morning. Considering she just got off work from the night shift two hours ago.

"You're...kinda one of my best friends." Jessica said laughing sheepishly.

Taeyeon nodded and opened her arms for another group hug. All four of us were in it this time. And I didn't want to be in any other place ever again. But I had a promise to keep and my watch had told me that those seemingly two minutes were really fifteen.

I began thinking hard about what to do. And I remembered it was a promise so I began pulling away to see three other tear soaked faces looking at me. Even Ice Princess Jessica's eyes were moist, though she smiled to cover it up.

So I waved goodbye and didn't say another word. I smiled and got back on the train. Today was Monday, my favorite day of the week anyway, so it only made sense that I left on this day.

I sat by the window watching the three girls on the platform. I knew Tiffany was also leaving today, it was our special thing. That no matter how the four of us planned it, Tiffany and I were always on the same track. So I wasn't scared. In fact I was glad.

I didn't say goodbye before getting back on the train, because I refuse. Goodbye means forever, and forever is a long time. Time has a way of changing things I know, but this was just something meant to last. So I smiled instead of cried, and whispered.

"See ya later"

And like anyone would I played the whole thing back to the first day, the day that led up to this one.

Several months earlier...

"Dammit to Hell!" I yelled kicking the side of a building.

"Keep it down!" A woman yelled.

I sighed. I didn't think it would hit me this hard.

I lost my job, so what? I could get another one right?

Wrong! I didn't have the means, it's a miracle I got hired to that one.

I'd never used words a lot. You know how I said my limited knowledge was following me? Well at this point it was evev more limited. The sidewalks were caked with snow which I turned up with the tips of my boots. My toes were suffering from the constant impact with the sidewalk.

I continued along the busy city sidewalk. I couldn't afford a cab. I couldn't afford my rent, and I couldn't afford the hospital bill for my sister. It wasn't going well for me at all. I couldn't afford anything I needed. So I walked to my apartment building. Somewhere in the part of the city I hated. I certainly didn't move to the city to stay in that part. Looking back now, it really, genuinley .

Vintage is a word used frequently to describe them. But not the vintage you're thinking of. Not at all actually. When I think of vintage, I think of ugly, yet cute, wallpaper, and thin carpet. Geometric furniture. Stuff of that nature.

Vintage, according to the people who desperately needed to sell these awful places, was rusting bathtubs, no working heat, no screens in windows, and absolutly NO modern appliances. No dishwasher either. A gas stove, ugh I hated that thing with a passion.

As I opened the door to the building I sighed, this isn't a home. I began walking up the stairs. Living on one of the highest floors was an unintelligent move, considering this building harbored no elevators in it's all but empty, thin walls.

I began walking up the flight of stairs. Almost to my floor I stopped on the landing and looked out the wall length window. It had began snowing again.

It was then, technically the first day. She ran past me, in a hurry I was guessing. I didn't even pay her mind. Didn't even consider the odds of her living on the same floor as me. As far as I knew it was only Jessica and me living on that floor.

She ran right past me. She was breathing heavy, but looked happy. I didn't even see her whole face. Just a glint of pearl with teeth in the relflection of the window that was beginning to collect and form on the window.

After she had run past I stood there for probably forty five more seconds. It felt like an eternity.

I began trudging my up the stairs yet again. I took softer steps when I reached my floor. I didn't want to wake up my neighbor. Jessica, beautiful as she was, hated going out, and she spent most of her time sleeping. She had a job as a consultant at an advice hotline. Preventing teens from killing themselves or something. Advice, from what I knew of Jessica, wasn't plentiful from her.

But she was already standing outside fumbling through her mail in the bare hallway. She looked up at me with cloudy eyes, like she didn't exactly know what she was doing.

"Jess?" I asked cautiously.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" She waved her arm at me angrily.

"What's up?"

"Some girl..."

I was smart enough to assume that she meant the same girl who was huffing and puffing past me a few minutes ago. I nodded and decided that somethings are better left unsaid. Especially when you're talking to Jessica.

So I continued into my apartment. The doorknob was brass. The only thing I found charming about the whole building. I rubbed it gingerly, I wanted to move out, and take that doorknob with me.

But I slid my key into the lock, and I opened the door, and stepped in. Just like that I found more discomfort in being home than I did out on the cold streets with all the people angrier than me.

Jessica walked in behind me. She layed my mail on my small dining room table, filled with bills that I had yet to pay.

"How you going to make your rent?" Jessica crossed her arms. I looked her up and down. Her hair was dishevled, her sweats were wrinkled, and her makeup looked as if it hadn't been washed off in a few days.

"Thanks for reminding me." I sighed, isn't it odd how people always mention things you don't wanna talk about.

"You can have my job." Jessica snorted "I hate telling people to look forward to life, or to dump their cheating manwhore boyfriend."

"I can't even imagine you giving advice for a living."

"No one can."

I assumed she was good at it, she'd been doing it since I first moved in. Even she could keep a job longer than me. Sad as Hell considering her icy personality. I wish she'd be bad at something too, just so I didn't feel like such an over dreaming fool.

She never stayed for long. We were friends I guess. We'd known eachother since I'd moved in, we were the only two living on our floor. So, we became eachother's only friends. She never went out, I never had time. We were made for eachother, we both didn't want anything to do with the world outside our own. So we stuck together.

She was rude, needy, and codependent. I can't tell you a single nice thing she's ever said to me. I've never said anything to her that didn't involve criticizing her sleeping pattern or treatment of important mail.

Yeah, we were best friends.

Since we lived in our own misery, we didn't notice hers at all. She'd lived on that floor longer than either of us, and we just lived like the two of us were the only ones in the whole world. So us being the only two on the floor didn't surprise us.

The fact that someone else actually did live on the floor surprised us more.

And this is my story. Choi Sooyoung. That's me. Jung Jessica. That's my friend/neighbor or something.

At this point in the story I bet you're pissed that I showed you the end of my story in the beginning. If I could be perfectly honest, it's all that stuff in between that means the most to me.

But you know what, it didn't happen in a matter of days, or weeks, or even months. I don't know how long it took to happen. I'm sure that some of it even happened before I met her, or Jessica, or even before I moved into that apartment.

It's a long story. Sometimes I don't think it's worth telling, but to someone who doesn't matter, it could change their life.

I didn't think that my life could get any worse. I don't think that anyone could understand on the extent that it mattered. But she did, and she changed my life, and she made things seem important. She made me seem important. Even though she had hardships herself, she made me think that maybe just maybe.

Tomorrow was something to live for.

And as I drabble on and bore you with this small portion of my life, think about yourself and your own damn life.

Take a good look at it.

I was in a coffee shop. I heard the comotion next door. I didn't feel like going and checking it out. Who would, it's just people being social. I didn't find the idea of talking to people besides Jessica with her cold disregard for me, very cheerful.

When she walked in I paid her no mind. Why would I? I was a sad excuse for a person. She sat down across from me.

"Is this seat taken?"

My headache worsened in looking at her bright white teeth.

I shook my head and she sat down with her own coffee. She looked at me.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

I turned away grumbling.

"Sounds legit..."

I looked at her, she didn't even blink just laughed, "I know what you mean."

"Oh I'm sure you do." I'm sure my response was sour. I still don't regret it now, because my own discontent didn't even bother her own overly cheerful mood.

And just like that...I don't know something went off and changed in my life.