Final

Tears of Blades
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He brought his hand down, his fingertips grazing her skin, as he felt every little bump on her arm. She flinched at his touch. She hated it when someone touch her because she knew, they could feel her ugly scars. Ugly scars that held ugly memories. Each little bump, each little scar, each holding a memory.

She wanted to escape from his arms but he was stronger than her and she was trapped in his arms. His heart clenched in pain. She feared his touch and he hated it. They used to cuddle everyday in each other's arms but now, she hated his touch. She feared his touch.

Nara hated the fact that Sehun found out about her scars. If only she had been more careful. She had totally forgotten about the scars on her arm and had decided to take a shower while Sehun was in her room, waiting for her. She had forgotten to bring in her clothes and when she asked Sehun to grab some clothes for her, he saw them.

"N-nara," Sehun whispered sadly. His sight blurred and his chest felt heavy. His heart was hurting and he was afraid. Afraid that his love would do something silly. The years she suffered like this, the days that went by with her tears falling and blood dripping as she took the blade in her hands and glided it across her arm, he felt sick at those thoughts. He wasn't there when she needed him the most and that was what made him hate himself even more. He couldn't protect her from those bullies, he couldn't save her when she tried to cut herself; he wasn't there when she was crying. Most importantly, he wasn't there when she needed love and comfort. He wasn't there...

"L-let me go, Hun." She said, barely audible. Sehun slowly lowered his hands and the girl leaned against the headboard of her bed. She lifted her arm, her eyes scanning the scars. He crawled over to her before placing a hand on the back of her head. He tried to pull her in his arms, to comfort her, but she pushed him away.

"Babe," he whispered, hurt evident in his eyes. "Give me a little time alone, Hun." She said as she draped the blanket over her body and turning her back towards him. She hated that he found her secret. She hated it so damn much. She was afraid that after he found out, he would stop loving her and would leave her alone to suffer in this cruel world.

"Why?" He asked, his eyebrows creasing. "Why are you cutting yourself? You know, yourself, that cutting is never the solution. So why, Nara?" The said girl took in a deep breath. She wanted to cry. To cry out her frustrations. She was feeling so depressed, numb, useless and hopeless and she just wanted to cry them all out.

"When I cut, I have control of the pain I feel inside. It makes me feel that I'm alive. That I'm actually living. Cutting inflicts pain in you and the pain makes me feel good about myself. It's addictive, Hun. It makes me feel better each day. I want to stop but I can't. The pain I feel physically makes me forget about the pain I feel mentally." She replied in a breath.

"Nara..." Sehun whispered her name, hurt was written all over his face. "Give me some time alone to let me think through, Hun." She tightened the blanket around her, her back still facing him.

Sehun let out a sigh before climbing out of her bed. He crouched down beside her by her bed. Their eyes met. His eyes were full of love and concern while hers were filled with love, anxiety and sadness. He bit down on his lower lip, looking down at his hands. He closed his eyes as more tears fell from his eyes. He placed a hand at the back of her head before pulling her into an embrace. This time, she didn't resist.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, tightening the hug. "I'm sorry," he kept chanting. With each chant, another tear fell from their eyes. Nara wrapped her arms around him as they both cried. She sobbed into his shoulder. Although his shirt was stained with her tears, Sehun didn't care. He pulled away from the hug and took in a deep breath to calm himself down. His eyes glanced towards her arms and wrists. The scars that buried deep within her wrist, he could see them and it made his heart clench in pain even more. His heart never hurt this much before. He shifted his eyes towards hers.

"Babe...Promise me you would never cut again?" His voice was shaky and his eyes were shaking. He searched her eyes, trying to find a answer. "I...I promise." Nara said, giving him a small smile. A forced smile, Sehun thought. A smile that had been forced out was the worst anyone could get. It hurts when Sehun sees her faking a smile at him instead of giving him a sincere one.

A forced smile could mean many things. It could mean a lie. It could mean the worries. It could mean the thoughts. It could be depression. It could mean anything. Sehun tried to ignore the forced smile she gave him. He kissed her tears away before he stood up and adjusted the blanket, making sure it was wrapped tightly around her figure so she wouldn't catch a cold.

"I'll get going now. Sleep tight, babe. I'll pick you up tomorrow morning for school." The girl nodded and Sehun walked out of the room after turning off her bedroom lights. He closed the door with a sigh.

There was a feeling deep in him that something bad was going to happen but, he decided to ignore that feeling of his.

Sehun let out a sigh as he closed the door behind him. He walked over to his desk, his eyes glancing over the clock on the wall. It was already late in the night and he was still in his uniform. He turned back around, about to head towards his closet when something caught his eyes.

It glistered brightly under the moonlight, which was the only source of light in the room. The corner of his lips curled up into a small smile. Unknowingly, his hand crept up his chest before his fingers clutched themselves around something, that was hanging on his neck, through his uniform. His smile grew wider and his eyes soften. I'll give it to her tomorrow.

Tearing his eyes away from it, he walked towards the bedroom door and locked it. He then walked over to his closet to take a towel out. He released the buttons on his uniform and threw in onto the ground. He ran a hand through his hair before looking towards the pendant that was hanging down his neck, to his chest. With a smile, he took it off and placed it on his nightstand. 

He took off the rest of his clothes before heading towards the bathroom.

Sehun let the water run down his body. He let out a sigh as he muscle relaxed under the running hot water. He placed a hand on the wall to support his weight. He closed his eyes as his thoughts drifted towards Nara and almost immediately, his heart dropped.

He could still remember the times he had almost lost her. He had a months since she last attempted suicide and he had kept a close eye on her ever since. For the past few weeks, she had been behaving weirdly. Being less talkative, and much sadder. It was then when he started becoming suspicious of her attempting suicide again and truth to be told, he was right. He found out just hours ago that she had been cutting herself.

He was unable to protect her 24/7 and he hates that fact a lot. They weren't from the same school and school was where she always gets bullied. He knew that for sure. Tears fell from his eyes as he thought about those bad memories. Now, he wasn't sure if it was tears or the water on his face. 

Tears stained her face as her eyes drifted towards the flour that was all over her uniform and hair. Today was the day she had finally lost it. She was confused. She didn't know what was the purpose of living, what was the purpose of going to school, what was the purpose of crying over heartless people's actions towards her. She was lost. 

Nara smirked bitterly. She wanted to laugh. To laugh at herself for being so easy. For being so useless. For being so helpless. Her sight got blurred once again. Tears huh? She thought. What was the use of crying? It wasn't like crying would stop all these bullying and all these depression.

She was lucky that there were no one at home and no one could see her in this pathetic state. Rushing up to her room, she slammed her door shut and quickly headed towards her bathroom after taking her clothes.

Nara stood before the mirror after taking a hot shower. A towel was wrapped around her body and her hair was dripping wet. She stared at her reflected image, staring into the eyes. They were puffy and red. She searched her own eyes. They were empty.

She wanted to cry yet again at how pathetic she was. 

Blinking her tears away, she her lips nervously before letting out a sigh. She tore her eyes away from the mirror and changed into her clothes. She walked out of the bathroom, her eyes shifting everywhere. 

She laid on her bed as she stared at the ceiling. Why me? Why am I living in this cruel world? Why am I still alive? There's no purpose in life. There's no purpose for me to live anymore. She scoffed at herself. Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. 

People at school said that she was useless. That no one loves her. But now that she thought about it, what if what they said were true? What if Sehun didn't love and was only staying by her side because he pitied her? Or what if he was only staying by her side because he was forced to? 

There isn't a point in living anymore. I'm useless. I'm hopeless. I'm pathetic. I'm just someone who deserves to die. She sat up and scurried over to her bathroom. She opened the cabinet above the sink and took out a white bottle that had the words 'Sleeping Pills' on it. 

She stared at the bottle before opening it. She poured the bottle out onto her hand and popped them all inside . If she was going to die, she wanted to leave die a clean death. Overdose on drugs would be the best option.

She tried to take them all into her system. Swallowing every pill that was in . She continued pouring them out onto her hand and into . Come on. She choked on the pills and coughed. 

Her eyes were red and tears blurred her sight. She fell onto her knees. The bottle of sleeping pills dropped onto the floor. She used her hands to support herself as she continued to cough. Nevertheless, she continued to swallow the pills down. 

Her mind felt hazy and she felt dizzy as though she was going to fall asleep. Her eyelids felt heavy and her body was weak. Her eyelids closed slowly as her body fell lifelessly onto the bathroom floor. 

"Nara!" She heard a distant voice yelling for her. Footsteps were heard as the person ran towards her yelling her name as he got closer to her. She forced her eyes opened and reached a hand out. "S-sehun..."

Her last breath. Her eyes closed as he tears ran down her cheeks. Sehun...I love you. She smiled. The last thing she heard and saw was her love. The person she loves most on earth. 

Sehun quickly ran towards her and hugged her figure towards his chest. His eyes scanned the place in a hurry. He silently cursed under his breath. "Don't die on me, Nara. Nara, please." His tears fell from his eyes as he tried to wake her up. 

He quickly stood up, an arm under her knees and the other supporting her neck. Her head was leaned back wards and her eyes rolled back. Her lips were pale and it only made Sehun panic even more. His heart was beating rapidly against his ribcage.

He rushed out of her house, trying to fetch a cab to take her to the hospital. He needed to save her. He couldn't lose her. He needed her. He didn't want to lose her...

Overdose was her first attempt of suicide. His heart squeezed in pain. He didn't want to lose her. He was going to save her and keep her by his side no matter what it takes. His bit down on his lower lip.

Don't leave me alone, Nara...

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Comments

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callmesabby
#1
This is too depressing & devastating. Why did she cut herself? Just, whyyyyy?!!! Poor hunnie..(π.π)
ren1234
#2
Chapter 1: Wow once again u made me cry!
Poor Hunnie!
Ppl tht are having hard times just need someone to be there for them!
Ficfian_77
#3
Chapter 1: OMG this story is so sad and well writen it's as if you have experience it before it all seem so real Nara is so..ah I don't know what to say I thought she would be alive but
MissBroken
#4
Chapter 1: OH MY GOD THIS IS SO SAD. Nara, omg. I feel my heart cracking right now, thanks to this lovely story. I love this so much, i'm crying. Keep up the good work and ur awesome co-author names omgstfu ok i think she's fabulous give me her number
soumaya
#5
Chapter 1: Oh my gosh such a great story I'm crying my eyes out though I hoped she would live. But still I love it keep the good work authornim