I found that this chapter is quite different from the description... and . Anyways, a short first chapter of the story. Sorry for any mistakes.

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“It was a guy, mom?” Howon blurted out when he walked in the kitchen, “Really? You think it will work?”

 

Mrs. Lee sighs, “It will work, Howon. For Hajin,”

 

And Howon was left dumbfounded.

 

After his mom told him that she already arranged an appointment for him, Howon disagreed with her plan – he doesn’t want anyone to replace her wife. It’s better to not meet someone new because he still loves his wife so much even though it has been 2 years since his wife died in an accident. His love for his wife grows stronger whenever he sees his son right next by his side.

 

As if his son that stays right next by his side is the thing that his wife left for him to take care of.

 

So, when he told his mom he didn’t want any appointments and he didn’t want anyone to replace her wife’s place, Mrs. Lee started to let him thinks about his son, Hajin.

 

Hajin was only 3 years old when his wife died in an accident. And the fact that he wasn’t there by his son’s side made his chest tightened again.

 

He used to be a workaholic and he worked hard all day, all night until his wife always complained that he needs to be at home to spend some times for her and for Hajin. His wife also used to complain for not bringing her out to shop some groceries.

 

Sure, he apologized for not being there when his wife and his son needed him but then the next day, he kept working hard all day and all night – as if the things that he apologized for, he already forgot about it.

 

Until the day when he received an urgent call from his mom, saying that his wife involved in an accident – and everything that he apologized for everyday hit his mind and his chest like bullets. He started to regret everything. He started to regret that he wasn’t always there for his wife.

 

He remembers it clearly when he arrived at the hospital, his wife already let out her last breath. He couldn’t see his wife’s face, he couldn’t hold his wife’s hand, he couldn’t kiss his wife’s forehead and he couldn’t tell his wife that he loves her.

 

And also, he still remembers that when he saw Hajin, Hajin was in his mom’s embrace, crying his eyes out as he’s saying “don’t leave me alone, mom” and his chest tightened again. Hajin supposed to be in his embrace and he was supposed to say that “dad is here, Hajin” but he couldn’t reach his hands out to pulls Hajin in his embrace.

 

He couldn’t do that.

 

He knew that it was awkward for Hajin to get himself comfortable being around him. And he knew that the reason behind it was his own fault.

 

Howon sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair. His mind suddenly wandered back to the scene where he met the one who his mom told him to meet with. He never thought that his mom would set an appointment for him to meet with a guy.

 

Even though weirdly, something did stirred up in his chest him but he just shrugged it off.

 

The guy introduced himself as Dongwoo. He has a wide gummy smile that somehow, strangely attracted Howon. And truthfully, Howon found that Dongwoo is quite unique. He’s so easy-going and he was the one keeps the conversation alive even though Howon was the one who always being a conversation killer.

“I heard that you have a child,” Dongwoo started to speak again after few minutes of awkward silence.

 

Howon nodded and he smiles at the thought of Hajin, “Yeah, he is a pretty boy,”

 

“I’m sure that he looks like you,” Dongwoo grins as he clasps his hands together.

 

“Not really,” Howon shrugs, “He looks like his mom.”

 

And the awkward silence filled up the space between them again. Howon didn’t know what was happening to him but all of sudden, he lifted up his head, meeting his gaze with Dongwoo’s until the latter finally tore off his eyes away from Howon’s.

 

Dongwoo looks down, fiddling with his own fingers, “I’m sorry,”

 

“Pardon me?”

 

“I’m sorry for this appointment,” Dongwoo apologized, “I know that you didn’t want to come. And also, I know that you have a child and you don’t want to replace your wife with anyone else. It looks like you were forced to come here, to meet me and I’m sorry for that.”

 

“You actually don’t have to apologize for that, Dongwoo-ssi,” Howon said after few seconds of silence, “I came here for my son.”

 

Dongwoo looks up.

 

“Yeah, I actually came here for my son’s sake,” Howon continues as he plays with the cup, “Even though I don’t want anyone to replace my wife’s place, and even though I don’t want someone new in my family, but I have to find someone that can take care of my son. I want someone that can be by his side when he’s growing up. I want someone that, at least, just be there for him since I can’t do that due to my work and… due to some things. Of course, just like you said, I was forced to come here by my mom because I have to find someone, for Hajin, but you don’t have to apologize for that, Dongwoo-ssi. This wasn’t your fault.”

 

“You’re a nice guy, Howon-ssi,” Dongwoo smiles, “I’m very sure that your wife loves you as much as you loves her and I don’t know what are the other reasons that you can’t be by your son’s side when he’s growing up, but believe me that he needs you more than anyone else to be by his side.”

“He needs you more than anyone else to be by his side,”

 

It feels weird that Dongwoo understands him more that he understands himself. And it was weird that the words that he has been keeping to himself, he can easily slipped it out from his mouth even though it was only their first meeting.

 

“Dad?”

 

Howon jumped from his seat but then he heard a small chuckle. He turned his head to his right side and his eyes fell on the pretty boy who is trying to hold his laughter.

 

“It’s bad to laugh at your dad, y’know,” Howon said as a small smile appears across his face.

 

“I’m sorry, dad,” Hajin apologized and he smiles.

 

“Why aren’t you asleep yet, pretty boy?” Howon asked and Hajin’s cheeks slowly turned into soft pink color.

 

“Don’t call me pretty boy,” Hajin mumbles, earning a small chuckle from Howon, “I’m a boy and I’m not even pretty.”

 

Howon laughs, “Alright, alright. So, why aren’t you asleep yet, Hajin?”

 

“Um,” Hajin fiddles with his own fingers, “Can I sleep with you tonight, dad?”

 

It was a surprising question that has slipped from Hajin’s mouth and Howon, instead of giving a “yes”, he carries Hajin in his arms and placed a long kiss on top of Hajin’s head.

 

Hajin wrapped his arms around Howon’s neck, buried his face in his dad’s neck, “Dad?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I miss mom,”

 

And it breaks Howon's heart.