"Thank you Ahjusshi" says Jaejoong meekly, barely audible as he dazedly gets off the bus. His feet feel heavy stepping out of the door.

But he must.

He needs to see it.

Though it will not make any difference, he still needs to see it.

He tugs his black scarf back in place covering almost half his face to the bridge of his nose. No one paid attention to him on the bus, which was a great relief. Truth be told, there were only three passengers on the bus. A couple that is much too engrossed with themselves and an Ahjumma who snores throughout the whole trip.

The road to his destination seems deserted which is not surprising at all. No one in their right mind would go out at this temperature where winter breeze is still unbearable, the coldness piercing through the bones.

Jaejoong only had one thought in mind when he woke up that morning. That very thought gave him the strength to push himself out from the warm confines of his blanket. Head woozy from the cold medication he took and limbs heavy as if they were nailed to the bed. It has been two days since he caught a flu. Sickness never seems to part away long from him, always finding its way back to his body but never does he wonders why.

He walks to the stairs leading up to the lobby of Namsan Tower, each step with hesitance. He stops in his track when a gush of chilly wind swiftly hits him, bringing along doubts and insecurities to his mind. He tilts his head up to look at the beautiful building.

 

What if it's not there?

What happens then?

Do I really want to know?

What if..
 

A sudden blast of sound coming from his pocket cuts him from his reverie.

“Hey Chunnie” he answers without checking who it was.

“Where are you hyung?”

“Seoul”

“Hyung. Where in Seoul exactly?” Yoochun asks exasperatedly. He knows his hyung is being difficult on purpose.
 

“You know where Yoochun-ah, so stop asking. I just..... I just need to make sure.” Jaejoong replies, his last words just above a whisper.

Yoochun sighs “You don't need to do this hyung. Junsu called me to stop you.”

“I just need to check. Let me be. I'll be fine. I need this. Don't worry. I'll call you when I get home.” before Yoochun could respond, he hangs up and pockets his phone.

He continues walking, more determined now than before, as if Yoochun's call gave him the motivation he needs. Jaejoong snorts at the idea, as it is definitely the opposite of what Yoochun had in mind.

 

*************************************

Unwittingly, he is now crouching at the very end corner of the Love Lock fence, numbly gazing at one spot. The fence that holds thousands of padlocks engraved with love words and promises. Jaejoong can't remember how he got there and in that position. His inattentiveness should have been alarming but he feels at ease instead. His muscle memory works splendidly in bringing him there without him having to think.  

His thought was rudely disturbed when a loud screech from a distance sends a surge of panic that causes him to further curl into a ball. Quickly, he pulls his beanie down to cover his face, closes his eyes and hides his head between his knees, fearing for the worst. someone recognizes me.

He waited 5 seconds for the stampede to hit him, but it never came. He cracks his eyes open and turns his head real slow to the direction of the scream. A warm wave of relief floods his body when he realize that a girl was proposed to by her boyfriend.  Jaejoong exhales deeply and glances around one last time to make sure no one is paying him any heed.

Once he is sure, he snaps his head back and looks at where he was staring at earlier. The item he is looking for, buried among many.

The padlock

Our love lock.

His and Yunho’s love lock.

 

4th February 2007

“Ow Ow Ow Changmin move! You are crushing me” Junsu howls in pain.
 

“Nu uh. Don't wanna. How about you move” Changmin stubbornly plasters himself to Junsu even more than before.

“Owh come on! There is a lot of space over there” pointing to the other end of the sofa frustratedly. “Why do you need to stick to me you lil , get off” shoving the maknae lightly.

“Because, I like this spot and everyone in this house know this is MY spot” he enunciates word by word just to annoy Junsu even more, spitting out the chips he is munching while at it.

Junsu dusts off crumbs that fell on to his shirt furiously and huffs in resignation “Oh god fine! I'll move. But give me some of those chips first” Junsu reaches for the chips only for his hand to be swat away.

“Ha ha ha nope. Call me hyung and I'll give you one piece of chip. Ok two, since I'm feeling generous” he munches loudly while smiling his gummy smile at his hyung.

Junsu stares at him incredulously “You...You- ”

“Good one Changmin” followed by a boisterous laugh from the floor which promptly earned a glare from Junsu.

“Hey don’t be mad. Come here and sit with me.  I'll go get more chips” Yoochun gets up from the floor as he attempts to coax the pouting Junsu.

“Ok!” Junsu smiles brightly at his dear friend. He jumps down to a large cushion but not before hitting Changmin in the head with a pillow.

“Yah shut up!” Yunho props his elbows up and look behind his shoulder. Yunho is struggling to insert a DVD in the player. Instead of getting up to get closer to the DVD player, he wiggles forward while still lying on his stomach on the carpeted floor.  If they thought what the leader was doing looked absurd, none of his dongsaeng said anything.

Yunho continue his rants as he fiddles with the remote control. “I’m trying to watch a movie here.  Do you guys know how many times I’ve tried watching this without sleeping? Six freaking times!  Now I’m all fresh and excited, you guys just had to be noisy”.

“He is just grumpy about something else” Changmin made a mock motion of whispering to Junsu but his voice is anything but a whisper.

“I AM CERTAINLY NOT!”

“Now that is one strong denial hyung” Yoochun scoffs as he walks out from the kitchen with an armful of chips and sodas.

“Shhhhh the movie is about to start” Yunho presses the start button, ignoring the sniggering at the back.

The movie goes on in silence accompanied by Changmin’s loud munching, Yunho’s soft snores, Junsu’s noisy trip to the toilet and Yoochun’s giggles about something on his phone.

“Guys! “  The door creaks open loudly as Jaejoong appears from his night out with his friends.
 

“Guyssss”  he calls again when no one seems to at least pretend to greet him. He walks across the room and grabs the remote control and swiftly presses the stop button.

“What the hell hyung!” Changmin throws a handful of chips.

“Yeah what is wrong with you” Yoochun complains as he looks up from his phone.

Yunho startled from his sleep, shouts in reflex “I was watching that!”

Jaejoong folds his arm, feeling guilty all of a sudden. Then he remembers what they were doing earlier on and he lets out a loud snort “Yeah right, no one was watching that crap. And you are cleaning that Shim Changmin” he points to the mess the maknae just made.

“What did I miss?” Junsu walks in, tugging his pants up properly.

With Junsu’s question ignored,  Jaejoong tosses the remote on to the sofa and plop himself down beside it.

“You don’t get to ruin our movie night after you ditched us, hyung”  Changmin brings his legs up and turns to face his hyung . He knows his rebellious hyung has a reason for it, but he can’t help feeling left out.

Yunho sits up from his lying position and rubs the sleep off his eyes to look at Jaejoong.

“Yeah Joongie. It was supposed to be your birthday but you rather go out with some friends I don’t even know of” Yunho quickly bite his lips as he senses a pout starting to form itself.

He is extremely upset about being kept out of the loop but he’d rather not let Jaejoong know the extent of it. Jaejoong suddenly stormed out of the house after his birthday celebration with only a simple I’ll be back. And that irked Yunho to no end.

“Wait. Hyung was out? I thought he was in his room” Junsu sidles up beside Yoochun.

“Shhh” Yoochun ribs him. “Let’s just watch”.

“Hey we already did the birthday celebration and I’m so soooo grateful for it” putting his hands together to emphasize his point while sliding down to the floor to face Yunho.

“Besides, I didn’t just go out to have fun. I scored us a deal” he smiles brightly at Yunho , making him instinctively smile back, forgot that he was supposed to be sulking.

“A deal? What deal? Is this legal? What did you do hyung?” Changmin is getting curious by the second.

Jaejoong nods his head frantically “Uuun completely legal”

Changmin put his chips aside slowly. Changmin hates people taking away his food. But what he hates more is being curious. He glides down to the floor as the group now forms a circle.

“Talk” Changmin looks squarely at his hyung.

Jaejoong laughs, wanting to torture the Changmin more but his laugh quickly turns into a hiss as Yunho slaps him on the thigh.

“Ouch! Yunho that hurts. Man you are grouchy today” he rubs the aching spot.

“That was the point. AND I’M NOT GROUCHY -  OR GRUMPY!” Yunho quickly glares at Changmin when he saw him opening his mouth to say something.

Jaejoong raises his eyebrows to the unexpected overreaction. He decided to let it go for while.

“Sheesh patience people.  Remember when I told you guys, that I knew someone that has a brother working at Namsan tower?”

“Yesssss and?"

“And remember how you guys said you are dying to go there since its opening?”

“Nope” Changmin and Yoochun answer disinterestedly at the same time.

“I do” Junsu grins putting his hand up excitedly.

“Get to the point Jaejoong”.  Yunho can’t take it anymore. It is frustrating enough to not know what his boyfriend was doing, and now he is making him worry.

Yes, boyfriend. It has been 1 year since they made it official. Yunho never thought in a million years that harmless teasing and flirting between two best friends would turn into something real.  The couple decided to keep it a secret from the members, but little do they know that their dongsaengs already figured it out. They have been feigning ignorance to it as to not make things uncomfortable in the house. They love their hyungs, but them being gay need some tremendous getting used to. As if it is an unspoken agreement, they don’t even directly mention it among themselves.

“Alright alright. Well I got a way for us to go up the tower without being spotted” Jaejoong said excitedly. “But...”  He scratches his chin. “We can’t go up to the observatory, only till the floor terrace”.

Junsu claps his hands eagerly. “Omg hyung you are a genius.  The Love Lock place is at the terrace. Yay! We are gonna take the bus right, this is exciting. I heard they will open a Bear Museum on the third floor”.

Yoochun and Changmin exchange a quick meaningful glance to each other at the mention of ‘love lock’. And as if they are reading each other’s mind “We are not going”.

“I have a date” Yoochun quickly adds.

“Me and Junsu hyung have plans”

“We do?” A quick pinch on his side tells him he does “Oh yeah! We have that....thing”. Changmin rolls his eyes at Junsu’s bad acting.

Jaejoong furrow his eyebrows at the three. He knows they were obviously lying by the way they are squirming under his gaze and avoiding eye contact. Yet he is so glad things are working as planned.

“Fine. It will be just me and Yunho then” he turns to look at the said person.

Yunho scratches his head and let out an obvious fake laugh “Now that must be awkward, but ok I’ll go. I’m going to bed now. Goodnight” he gets up and heads to his room.

Jaejoong quickly makes a bee line behind Yunho and looks over his shoulder to the boys  “Me too, I’m tired. Hey, too bad you guys can’t tag along with us tomorrow”

“Pffffft as if” came a voice among the three right after the bedroom door is shut.

************************************

Jaejoong locks the bedroom door slowly with a click barely audible. He knows Yunho is angry and trying really hard to hide it.

“Yunho yah” he calls out to the person who is obviously faking a sleep. How could he be sleeping when he just entered the room.

Jaejoong can't help but chuckle at the sight of a big lump under the blanket. At the sound of Jaejoong's voice, Yunho buries his head even further under the pillow. Jaejoong jumps on to the bed and spoons Yunho over the blanket, putting his head onto Yunho's buried one.

“Baby are you mad? Don't be mad. I wanted this to be a surprise”.  He removes the pillow between them and nuzzles Yunho's neck, earning him a grunt.

“And the friend was someone I know through Hyunjoong, you don't need to be worried. It will be our romantic little getaway” he pokes the unmoving lump.

“I know it's not much, but anywhere with you will be magical”. He pokes Yunho again, now harshly.

“Yah Jung Yunho, are you seriously going to be like this? I just submitted myself to being corny. Fine. I'll just cancel it”.  Jaejoong feeling dejected at the lack of response pushes himself away.

Just as he is about to get off the bed, a tug on his shirt stops him.

Yunho sits up with a dark expression on his face which is enough for Jaejoong to crawl into his lap in a fraction of second.

“Don't leave me –" Yunho breathes out .

“Never”.  Jaejoong cups Yunho's cheek quickly but gently .

Yunho blushes at what he just said “I... I wasn't finish. I mean don't leave me without telling me where you're going. You always tell me where you are going. Always.  Even to the club. But...of course that works too, never leave me ok” he smiles softly.

“Owh sorry”  Jaejoong scratches his head, feeling sheepishly guilty. “I told you it was a surprise”. He moves a hand to card Yunho's messy bed hair and the other wounds around the neck. “Wasn't it you who can't stop whining about Namsan tower last month?”

“Uknow Yunho does not whine” he huffs.

Jaejoong chuckles at the cute reply, pinching Yunho on the nose. “Tomorrow is Yunjae Day in case you forgot. Our fans certainly won't let me forget.

Yunho holds the hand that is carding his hair and brings it to his chest. He can't think straight with that hypnotizing touch on his head. "You said it was a deal. What did you give in return?"

"Just autographs and a couple of pictures, no biggie. Only with that, they were beyond elated”  he rubs  the crease between Yunho's brows with his fingertips.

Yunho sighs in relief "You need to stop making me worry".

The fingertips start to roam painfully slow and barely touching, down Yunho’s nose, across his cheek and on to his jaw but makes a stop at his cupid bow lips. Jaejoong’s eyes moves in harmony with his touch as if he is spellbound by his own movement.  The fingertips glide lightly across Yunho’s bottom lips till a voice breaks Jaejoong’s entrancement.

“Are you listening to me?”

Jaejoong hums in response. Eyes still on the prize

"And you need to stop touching me right now".

Jaejoong smirks at that and lift his eyes to look at Yunho "or what?"

"Or this -" he pushes Jaejoong on to the bed, immediately attacks Jaeoong with kisses all over his face. Yunho’s long fingers jabs Jaejoong’s  side causing him to let out a breathy  scream.

Jaejoong’s legs automatically wrap around Yunho’s torso and he locks Yunho’s neck tightly with his arms in retort. He flips them both with him now on top.

“Really now yunho? I thought we were gonna have some y time” Jaejoong bemused.

“Well you thought wrong baby. I simply want revenge” Yunho puts both his hand on to his lovers cheeks and giggles at the sight of Jaejoong’s face being squished with a look of bewilderment in his eyes.

“Baby, I can clearly see that you are very tired. Let’s just sleep ok”.

“Are you still mad at me?” Jaejoong inquire worriedly unbeknownst his face is rather comical as he speaks with his lips jutted out.

“No I’m not” Yunho smiles gently “I just want to cuddle tonight”. Yunho leans in for a passionate kiss that leaves them both breathless.

Jaejoong drops himself beside Yunho and hugs him tight, rubbing his nose against Yunho’s chubby cheek.

“You are such a girl sometimes Yunho. CUDDLE” Jaejoong sniggers as he said the word and shakes his head in amazement.

Yunho hold his koala bear tighter. “Whats wrong with wanting to just cuddle with you, I love it. Your hair smells wonderful, it lulls me to sleep, and it makes me feel at home”

“Cheeseball”

“A cheeseball you would always want seconds” Yunho said sleepily as he buries his nose into Jaejoong’s hair.

“Always”