I was skeptic at first… We Got Married… At first I didn’t feel like taking the role since I am heartbroken… My past relationships haven’t been that good especially the previous one. The love of my life walked out on me. Maybe I should have pursued her, maybe beg for her to stay but I didn’t. Pride maybe? Or was it not meant to be? It was my fault anyways, I wasn’t strong enough to be what she wanted us to be, too coward to be able to fight for her. So what was the point of joining We Got Married? I’m sure I’m going to mess things up as soon as possible anyway as testimony of my previous relationships. What’s the point?

PD-nim of WGM contacted me at least twice a week for 2 long months. His tenacity is really to be praised but right now I have no inclination to be in a relationship, be it virtual or not. I just can’t. I’ll save myself from the heartache that I know will be at the end of the show. No thank you. I have had enough.

But then Yonghwa Hyung happened. He knew everything about my previous relationship, what went wrong, what I did wrong, that PD-nim wanted me to join WGM, my reluctance to be in a relationship and most of all my guarded heart. So how did he managed to convince me to join? He didn’t. They both did. Yonghwa Hyung and Seohyun-ah. I remember that day so clearly, it was the day that really changed my life.

- Flashback -

Here I was lying on my bed with a guitar on my hand. The usual position I had been for the past year since that breakup. I was just on call with PD-Nim for the umpteenth time. He just wouldn’t budge does he? How hard is it to accept my rejection to the show? I sighed as I strum random chords with my guitar.

I suddenly heard a knock on my door, it was soft and I knew it wasn’t my members. They usually knock in a playful beat, that’s how we do it with us being in a band. It couldn’t be my manager too. He usually calls before he comes. This was a visitor.

After checking I was decent enough, I slowly opened the door and got astonished on who it was, or rather who they were. Seohyun-ah and Hyung were by the door with disguises on. They quickly invited themselves in and I was left standing by the door with my mouth agape.

“Jonghyun-ah close the door before someone sees Hyunnie,” Hyung instructed as both started removing their disguises and made themselves comfortable in the couch. I slowly closed the door, grabbed a chair from my small dining table and sat across them. I’m guessing a pep talk again from Hyung but I feel anxious but a little bit of curious on what Seohyun-ah is going to say.

“Oppa,” She said. “I heard you were scouted for We Got Married.”

I looked at Hyung grudgingly. He and his huge mouth will get me in trouble one day, but I guess this is Seohyun-ah, uri Hyungsoonim. Yonghwa hyung doesn’t hide anything to her. But I would have hoped that he would have kept this under covers since I’m not going to go through it. I mean my ex was her unnie for God sake.

“Oppa… I really wish that you would join We Got Married.” Seohyun-ah said. To say I was shocked again was an understatement. I was bewildered on why she wanted me to join WGM. I mean she was our primary support for our relationship, her unnie and me. And now she wanted to me to forsake all of our memories together-

Yah! Lee Jonghyun! Snap out of it. Sh-she’s gone… It’s all over… Get over it!

“Jonghyun-ah, Hyunnie and I think that this will be a good thing for you.” Hyung said while disregarding the way I looked at him a while ago.

“Oppa, I can’t help but feel that it was my fault that you were hurt-“ Seohyun-ah said but I cut her off.

“That is my burden to bear Seohyun-ah. It was my mistake, therefore my fault.” I said softly. “Seohyun-ah, I know you mean well but even though it’s been a year, it still hurt.”

“That’s why both of us wanted you to join.” Hyung said as he scratched his hair from exasperation. “Jonghyun-ah, it’s been 1 year. Freaking 1 year. In fact it’s been more than 1 year. How long are you going to torture yourself like this?!”

“Well what do you want me to do, huh?! I can’t do anything about it because I still feel something for her-“ I said but what I heard next shook my entire being.

“Ani oppa, that’s not love you feel, that’s regret,” she said it so bluntly that I was left speechless. “Look oppa, I’m not going to sugar-coat my words anymore. Yoona unnie has moved on. She’s happy with Seunggi sunbaenim. You’re the only one who’s still clinging on to the past. You’re the only one who’s hurting.”

Those words hit my heartstrings sharply that tears started forming in my eyes. One by one, tears ran down my cheek as those words pounded in my mind. It is true right? I’m all alone. She’s never coming back. I should’ve known that is the case. Why did I cling on to her? Maybe Seohyun-ah is right. Maybe I should have moved on already. I should have right? There are no more if’s and maybe’s. It’s time I accept it and move on.

“What would you have me do Seohyun-ah? I don’t want to repeat my mistakes again to another girl.” I said as I lean my elbows on my knees and grabbed a handful of my hair.

As I let my tears fall, I felt thin hands hugging me lightly. “Don’t worry oppa. We’ll be here to stand beside you, me and Yong oppa.”

- End of Flashback -

The next day of that, I contacted PD-nim with a little push, well a huge push, from the couple and PD-nim couldn’t hide his glee due to my acceptance. Come to think of it, he looked like a kid who just got the best present in the world. Kekeke.

They started my interview that day, about my preference on women: physically, mentally and emotionally. Things I wouldn’t know how to answer but Seohyun-ah told me strictly “Do not describe my unnie at all oppa!” and I did. I tried to describe a woman a woman who is not her but at the same time like her? If that’s even possible. A woman who looked well in jeans and a simple white shirt, an easy-going kind of person, basically a woman who would accept me for who I am and would not change me. I will be the one to do that willingly for her kekeke.

After the interview, PD-nim had this goofy smile like he was celebrating inside already. It made me curious as to what that smile was about and I asked him about it. As I quote his answer, “We have found her already last week. I just wanted to confirm that your vague ideal type hasn’t changed.” He then refused to reveal the identity of the mystery girl that I am to be paired with while laughing hysterically.

But what I didn’t know was it wasn’t just one girl but two. Aish PD-nim really like to twist things. It got me scared that I have to be chosen by the person I chose. There’s a 50-50 percent chance I may not be chosen. At the sudden realization of this, I immediately called Seohyun-ah. When I explained my dilemma, she laughed over the phone and just said, “Hahaha oppa, just be yourself. Everything will fall into place.”

I’m not really sure how that was supposed to be funny when I’m being frantic here but nonetheless, I had a resolution to be myself.

So with a bouquet in my hand, I walked to the designated place where I was supposed to meet the first girl. You could just see how nervous I am, I mean I approached the wrong girl first. How embarrassing. But then when I met the right girl...

…

…

… Wow …

That was what went through my blank mind. Just… “Wow”…

After I snapped out of my reverie, I decided wholeheartedly I’m not going to look for anyone anymore. I’m so sorry for the second girl but I already chose her… I have to know her… because I chose you…

When she told me her name… how do I describe the feeling… it’s like knowing the name of an angel… Gong Seungyeon… Seungyeon… it seems right, so perfect to say it. Kekeke Yah Lee Jonghyun, what the hell is happening to you right now; aish jinjja…

I was in a good mood that day, more so in the fact that we have so many similarities; especially her eyes. My God, those eyes hooked me in the first time I saw them. I wasn’t lying that I fell for her the moment I saw her. There were countless of times I wanted to throw away that timer and smash it into pieces. Each passing minute, every second were too precious to waste. And that time we were surrounded by many ladies trying to take pictures, I saw how uncomfortable she was in the crowd. I shouted, “I’m married” because I couldn’t wait to show the world that I’m taken, bound to this angel.

And that time that it was time to choose, I didn’t hesitate for even a second to choose her. The problem would be if she didn’t choose me… I was a nervous wreck that time. I kept on playing with my hands, hoping that she would choose me. But another twist happened. Henry Hyung also approached Seungyeon. I think my heart stopped for a second, this could not be happening. I was ready to fight for her but thank goodness, he was just playing a prank (I still got pissed). The moment of truth came and I couldn’t hide my nervousness any longer. When I read my name, I couldn’t hide my glee! My angel chose me! I couldn’t believe it at first but oh yeah!!!

When I got home, I remember relieving the moments we shared together. I couldn’t help but smile at my success. Seohyun-ah actually called me that night to ask me what happened and how did it go. Due to my happiness, I was like a small boy telling my mother about my first love. Yeah immature right? But who cares! I don’t know why I described her as my mother but she reacted like my mother. She was happy for me and she gave me a few advices.

As the days keep on passing by, the more I meet her, the more I fell for her deeply. Each meeting was better than the last. It feels surreal, to have met another person who somehow likes what you like, dislikes what you dislike, who complement you, who laughs with you, who shares almost every similarities you have. Is this how it feels like finding your soulmate? If it is, I’m content.

Each time an episode was released, Seohyun-ah and Yonghwa hyung pointed at my mistakes, how I mishandled a situation, how I should have done it. Yonghwa hyung was having his revenge at last as I did the same thing when he was on the show. Seohyun-ah on the other hand was little bit more understanding, Hyung was just pointing out my mistakes for his own amusement (which Seohyun-ah always reprimanded him from kekeke). She gave me a woman’s intuition, it gave a female perspective on what Seungyeon was thinking at that time, how she would’ve expected me to act or what to she would’ve liked to hear. It helped me prepare for our next meeting but sometimes I’m so tactless, but I promised I would do better next time.

I’ve never felt better! I’m in cloud nine at the moment. All because of my angel, my wife, Gong Seungyeon…

But…

When I heard that we would be filming in SMEnt, I got really nervous. I didn’t notify Seohyun-ah nor Hyung about this. I didn’t want them to worry. But what if I saw her? Would it be fine? Would I be fine? I would be right? Thoughts like this went through my mind as I was driving to our house to pick her up. I wasn’t paying attention and I was really distracted on our way to SMEnt. I should’ve talked to Hyungsoonim about this, what I should do when I see her, IF I see her that is.

Suddenly, I felt my hand being taken and fingers intertwined with mine. I got shocked at first then I realized it was just Seungyeon. She was looking at me worriedly and said, “Gwenchana oppa? You seem… distracted. Are you ok? Are you sick?”

She quickly presses her other hand on my forehead, trying to check my temperature. She really cares about me. Those light brown eyes told me she was really concerned. All my worries and doubts all disappeared in that instant. I smiled at her and kissed her hand. “I’m okay since you’re here right beside me.”

She broke into a huge smile and blushed a little bit. Yeah, everything is going to be fine as long as she’s right beside me.

"Welcome to my workplace oppa!" Seungyeon-ah excitedly said; like a kid showing her room to others. It made me chuckle. What can I do, she’s cute.

* I know Seungyeon left SM but just for the sake of the story ;D – pokerman *

“Yeobo I've been here before you know. I'm a KyuLine member remember." I lightly . True though, how many times have Kyuhyun Hyung have invited me her, especially her but I’m not going to say that out loud.

"Ooohh yeah I forgot about that," she pouted so cutely and said, "And I was excited about giving you a tour and introducing my nampyeon around."
 

I chuckled again and lightly said, “Why not? They know me as CNBlue's Lee Jonghyun. Introduce me as Gong Seung Yeon's nampyeon Lee Jonghyun.”

Seeing her blushed made my smile widen as we continue to walk through the lobby. I wasn’t looking where we we’re going. All I remember was Seungyeon-ah suddenly wanted to let go of my hand. Instinctively I tightened my grip on her hand and I was about to ask her why when-

"Annyeonghasaeyo sunbaenim."

That made me look in front and shocks on me. It’s her. But you know… surprisingly… I feel fine.

"Eyy, I told you not to call me sunbaenim dongsaeng. Just call me unnie." She said.

I couldn’t quite gauge her thoughts on meeting me, especially with my wife. It has been more than a year since we stood before each other.

"Sunbaenim, this is my nampyeon CNBlue's Lee Jonghyun. Oppa this is SNSD's Yoona sunbaenim." My wife said (cutely if I may say so kekeke).

Her eyes widen slightly but it was quickly hidden through a smile. I smiled inside. I still know her somehow and she hasn’t changed. Maybe she did a bit. I know she’s confused and undecided so I answered her.

"Actually yeobo, I know Yoona. We've met before." I said as I smiled at her. This is somehow fun though. Is that normal?

If she hid it before. This time she didn’t. Kekeke I knew it. She was wondering if I didn’t want to seem “familiar” with each other in front of my wife and the camera.

"Neh, we've met before." She said.

"Jjinjjayo sunbaenim?" My wife said disbelief in her voice. "How do you know sunbaenim oppa?" She asked me accusingly. She’s jealous as usual but I’m not complaining. She’s my angel after all.

"Is uri yeobo jealous?" I laughed and pinched her cheek slightly.

"Aish oppa just answer the question." She said trying to cover her blushing cheeks.

I couldn’t resist her but I couldn’t just say she’s my ex and Seohyun-ah’s, who is Yonghwa Hyung’s Girlfriend, unnie. And should I even say that she’s my ex? What if my angel starts doubting my love for her? "I can't say the reason here. I'll tell you later." I say and I will tell her. I don’t want to keep secrets from her at all.

She pouted cutely and forcefully removed her hand from mine. She cutely crossed her arms and said, "Forget it. You don't trust me anyways."

My heart constricted a bit and I instinctively gave her what she wanted. I leaned behind her and whispered, “I know her because I helped Yonghwa hyung to be in a relationship way before with SNSD’s Seohyun and she’s my-“

She suddenly gasped and said, "JJINJJA? THE RUMORS WERE-hmmphed".

Fearing for hyung’s relationship and my life (Hyung will kill me if anything happens to his Hyun) I quickly covered my wife’s mouth and silenced her with my eyes.

"Arasseo, I won't say anything. That shocked me though." She said as I loosened my hand. I was about to tell her to keep this a secret when-

"You guys look so cute together."

We both turned our heads to the person who just talked. I felt embarrassed that I forgot that she was standing in front of us so I smiled sheepishly at her. I kind of felt guilty but her words rang a gong in me. We’ve both moved on and we’re both fine with it. I’m glad we’ve moved on.

"Mianheyo sunbaenim we forgot you were there." My wife said.

"G-gwenchana. I-I have to go. I'll see you later." She said and abruptly left hurriedly.

“Oh oppa what were you going to say. She was your-?” She whispered again.

I smiled at her and kissed her forehead. I whispered, “She’s my ex.”

Her eyes widen and looked at the retreating back of my ex, Im Yoona, while I chose not to look back and looked forward, dragging my wife and continuing the tour.