One week already passed by.
One week without Jonghyun.
One week without his loving touch, without his kisses, without his tight embraces, without those puppy eyes.
One week without my other half.
I'm cheesy, I know. But I guess he made me this way. 
We live together in a small appartment.
I feel lonely now. It's empty without him being here.
I sleep in his bed, just because his scent is still lingering around in his sheets and pillow.
I promised him to do my best in school these 3 weeks, do my homework, don't go out to much, ...
I kept my promise,
It's pretty hard to concentrate on my studies because he isn't beside me, but I can still handle schoolwork.
So no worries, yeobo.
Except ...
for Physics,
I always had problems with Physics.
Jonghyun always helped me with that course,
but he's not here now,
so I guess I have to try my best.

"Hi Kibum-hyung !" a squeaky voice exclaimed.
"Oh hi Taemin-ah !"
"Come'on, we're gonna be late for classes" He stated, pulling me by my arm.
"I don't wanna go to classes now ..." I whined.
Taemin raised his eyebrow, letting me go.
"What's wrong ?" He asked worringly. "I thought you promised Jonghyun-hyung to do your best in school ? If you skip then ..."
He said looking straight into my eyes.
"Yeah ... But ..."
"You're afraid for Physics ? Don't worry Kibum-hyung, your grades are going to be just fine." Taemin flashed a reassuring smile.
Kibum frowned, not believing a single word of what Taemin just said. But unfortunately going to class.

"Mister Kim, stay." The teacher smiled at Kibum who was packing his stuff.
The brown haired boy frowned. "Here we go ..."
"Hyung, I'm gonna go okay ? I promised Halmoni to visit her after school. Bye !" Taemin smiled.
Kibum nodded at him, ruffling his hair as he approached the teacher's desk.
"Mister Kim, ... We need a serious talk about your extremely decreased grades for Physics..."
Kibum looked at the ground, expecting all this.
"I already knew that you're bad at this course but .. not that bad. What happened ? Something with your family or is it just that you didn't study enough ... ?" She asked, pen twirling around her finger.
"I did study enough, it's just so difficult Miss." He said, smiling. Trying to hide his dissapointment.
"Yes it sure is Kibum. But is there maybe something else ?"
The other sighed.
"Yeah ... I'm just a bit unmotivated. Nothing special." He stated.
"Hm, well okay then Kibum. But you really have to do your best for Physics if you want to graduate, it isn't that of an important course ofcourse. But you can get a re-examination."
"Yes miss."
With that, Kibum headed to the door and out of the schoolbuilding.
He checked his phone for any messages or missed calls.

"One unread Message"

- Jonghyunnie <3

"Hi princess ^3^
I hope you're fine. ♥
I really miss you. 
It's fun here, but nothing compared to the fun of me & you together <3 :(
How's schoolwork ? Do you miss me too ? kkkk <3 ^0^
Saranghae ~ <3"

Kibum smiled for a second. 
He wanted to text him back.
But the thought of his bad grades popped into his mind.
Should I lie to him about my Physics ? I don't want to dissapoint him ... Yet I don't want him to worry about me ... I guess I'll have to tell him the truth. 
He sighed and started typing.

To : Jonghyunnie <3

"Hi yeobo <3
No, I'm not fine. I miss you too much. :(
and I have really bad grades for Physics.
I'm sorry if I dissapointed you ...
Saranghae <3"

I sighed and pressed the 'send'-button.
I took a cab and went to Minho's, hoping that he could cheer me up.
A couple of hours passed by. Minho could always distract me from my problems.
He was the only one, except for Jonghyun, whom I could talk to.
Taemin was too cheerful and cute, I couldn't just barge in on his happy mood and destroy it with my stupid problems, now could I ? No.
I loved Taemin too much.
I returned home after a couple of hours.
I opened the appartment with the housekeys and lay them on the counter.
I pushed the button of the phone.

"One voicemail" it said.

I stood still for a moment before I plumped down on the sofa.

"Kibum ? Where are you ? Call me back when you're home, I need to talk to you."

No 'I love you"  ? 
No nickname ?
...
He's mad.

I walked slowly towards the phone, picking it up.
My hands were trembling.  "He's mad, he's mad, he's mad ..."  I thought.
I slowly pushed the buttons and brought the phone to my ear.
Awaiting for him to pick up.

"Yeoboseyo ?"
"H-Hello sweetie ..." I stuttered.
"Kibum ?!"
"N-neh ..."
"What's with your Physics ? Tell me."
"I ... I have a D on my test ... My grades decreased tremendously the teacher said."
"How come ?"
"I don't know ... I'm just so unmotivated." I stated, afraid of what will come next.
"Kibum, you promised me to do your best !! I'm so dissapointed in you ! You said you'd study hard ! And what do you mean with 'unmotivated' ? You're never unmotivated !"
"But baby, I really don't know ... you always helped me with Phyics and I ..."
"THEN GO FIND A TUTOR !' The other interrupted him.
Tears started to fall down Kibum's cheeks. 
"B-but ..." I stuttered.
"Kibum !! You know how you're parents get when they find out that you failed !!!!"
"But baby I didn't do it on purpose !!" I exclaimed, still sobbing.
"Ofcourse you didn't !! But you can try your best a little bit more, can't you ?!!!"
"N-neh ... I ... I'm just unmotivated without you being by my side I guess ..." I hiccupped.
"... are you crying ?" His voice softened.
"N-no ..." I sobbed.
"Kibum, why are you crying ?" He asked monotone.
"B-because you're mad at me ..."
I heard him sigh on the other end of the line.
"I'm not. I'm just dissapointed, you should understand that. You know that you're parents are going to blame it all on me if you fail. Just ... Just go to sleep or something. I love you ." He muttered the last 3 words before hanging up.
Kibum threw the phone on the ground and hiccupped, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand.

###

way to go Jonghyun, you just made your perfect little boyfriend cry.
Awesome. Just awesome.
I sat on the edge of the bed, holding my head in my hands.
"I did good. He needs to learn how to be independent. He should learn how to study on his own. I can't help him his whole school-carreer with Physics. He should just get a tutor or something. No worries, Jonghyun. You did the right thing." I tried to convince myself.
How I wanted to hug him when he started hiccupping. Hold him in my arms and caress his soft hair.
How I wanted to inhale his scent as he started denying that he was crying.
He's so cute. I just wanted to cuddle him.
But I had to be steadfast. 
But still ... I made him cry. I made my adorable little boyfriend cry.
I decided to text him. He's probably sobbing alone in my bed, holding my pillow whatsoever.
He always does that when he's sad.

To : Kibummie <3

"Don't cry, araso ? <3"

###

I got a new textmessage. It just made me cry even harder.
I missed him. I missed him so much. Too much.
I crawled into his bed, not bothering to change in my PJ's.
I lay down and closed my eyes. I was exhausted. 

Two days passed by.
I ate breakfast, I went to school, I did my homework, I put extra effort in my Physics and went to bed.
The battery of my cellphone was dead, I didn't bother to plug it in.
Neither did I bother to pick up the phone if he called me.
I just wanted to relax for a while. I missed him, ofcourse I did. 
But I was only going to miss him more if I talked to him.
It only made me crave for him even more. And I didn't want that.
I tried to get him out of my mind. I just wanted to wait until he got back.
That went on for about 6 days or a week.
Until one day I came back from school and pushed the button of the phone.

"13 voicemails"  it stated.

They were all from Jonghyun. Saying how much he missed me, how much he wanted to hug me, how much he wanted to kiss me, how he wanted to come back to me, and why I didn't answer his calls and/or textmessages.
A wave of guilt hit me.
Was I being selfish ? By trying to get him out of my mind, while he was missing me like crazy ? 
Maybe ...
I charged my battery. I had 83 unread textmessages and 42 missed calls.

The textmessages were all like ;

"Baby, are you mad at me ? why won't you answer my calls ? I miss you ... 

and

"I miss hearing your voice."

and

"Answer me please."

and

"Princess ? Please don't be mad at me just because I was a bit dissapointed. Text me back already ..."

and

"I love you. <3"

and

"I think about you everyday. Even when I'm recording my songs."

How could you get somebody out of your mind, if the person himself was constantly thinking of you ?
You can't. 

Simple like that.