heyllo my peoples...

I don't know if my words will help those in need or even will show "wisdom" but I will just share a few words of mines,  a bit of background & even some love to peoples :D. I have the worst memory in any person I've ever known so I can't say the exact date when I debuted as a Graphic Designer on the Web. But I do know that I have been watching, researching & training to do posters for the longest time before I gathered my courage to apply for a job as a Graphic Designer for one of a poster requesting site. I was so excited and so confident in my work that I believed that I would get a spot the moment I applied. I was VERY wrong, of course. & because I was so confident but in the end was denied. I was beyond dissapointed. "What did others have that I didn't have?" I always thought. I thought I was quite grand & talented then other people.  I was ignorant. After I was denied, I had to sort out myself. I thought as myself as the TOP but really I was quite low, especially my skills. After a while as I sorted out myself & emotions, I  started to think "What can I do to make this better?" instead of "If you don't want me then, your loss!"

After I sorted out those negative things out of my designing I start to have a more positive thinking. I trained really hard (inside my head), I researched & I looked for motivation. I didn't touch photoshop, not till I thought I could do well without the narrow mind. & eventually I was accepted even though my skills weren't great. As I continued to graphic design i started to appreciate the people that gave me a chance to prove myself. I was working as a designer but as I browsed around other sites I thought "Why does everyone was only skilled designers?". Sites I went to work for always denied designers that weren't skilled to a certain extent. I always didn't understand.

"It's not that EVERYONE starts off as a genius." "Even you didn't start off as good!" 

"No one is going to succeed in design if no one give them a chance to improve!"

"Why do you tell people they aren't good enough? Why do you bring people to feel so low?"

"I would like to quit, thank you for the time you accepted me."

I never understood why there were people that thought so high of themselves when even the greatest designer in the world started off as small. I soon was handed down a shop of my own & accepted even the ones that weren't great but there was potential. There is a great in every art that someone does. There is beauty to even the dirt that people step all over on. I started to realize though, even the people that I accepted and worked with, as they grew the more they didn't understand. The more ignorant they were to beginning designers. I quit everything. I flew solo for a long time after that, I was in a drift. I was in my slump. I started to doubt everything. But someone special came along & I started to think.

"Maybe.....Just maybe I can change something? Maybe not everything is bad....."

JaeJoongLove, of course my brat <3 came along & things changed. I only take credit that I encouraged her to do graphics :) Everythinig else was her own self skill. Though I felt like I raised her Haha cause we have been to gether for quite some time now. :) 

Now, she, my partner in crime is quite a popular fellah~ & I can't be happier. Although it's been 7 years of designing, & I still have soooo much to learn, the past 2 years, 3 in  2013,  has been the funniest! :) 

 Basically, to the people that have doubts; everything will be quite alright. Just wait for the moment to come then pounce when it's the right time. Your time to shine will come! & You will know when it's time! With your head High, look forward into the eyes of the tigers den & enter when the moment is right! Then everything else will be much easier! But remember, don't get too ignorant or it will bite you in the ! :))) You hope and go for the best but you PREPARE for the worst! HWAITING! 

The world is a better place when there is encouragement! Even if it's the smallest compliment the world is such a happier place to be in. :))

To JaeJoongLove; I quite like the boxey looking text format that you have. I jacked it. Hahahahahaha. But yeah, a brat is always a brat! :)) I hope you have a wonderful Birthday, Christmas & New Years! Although it might be a bit early, I am writing a letter so I don't have to do it later when I send you that scarf of yours! XDDDD. Hope yah understand lol. but yeah I just wanted you to knw though, you have made quite an impact in my life. I appreciate you loving me & helping me. Although we do have secrets and stuff in out lives I still think you made a large impact in my life & changed me in a good way. You could even be me in a different body but I do appreciate you staying with me & not running off to a different partner XDDD. Even though I know it won't be that way forever I hope we stay as NERDYJAE for many years to come! I love you & your family! Tell your family I said Happy Hoildays!