Chapter 2

31^st March 2015

                Jaejoong woke up and the first thing in my mind was why his hair was so short. He took his phone and saw the date. Aah, I will be enlisting today. He was tempted to go back to sleep since it might be the last day he’d be able to sleep in his mighty bed, but he decided to wash up instead.

                If there’s anything that Jaejoong is worried about in his life, it’s his military service time. He has friends who enlisted before him and told him stories. Listening to their stories made him dizzy, like, was it even possible for him? But well, the day finally came. He was prepared. He had been asking his friends about the do’s and don’ts. He had packed everything required. The only thing that needed more preparation was his heart.

                After washing up, he sat down on his bed and his instagram. He smiled at some comments and some of his friends’ posts. He wanted to post something but he already said farewell to his fans so there’s no need. He then put the phone on his desk and gave some time for him to think. Inside him, many emotions were flowing. To be honest, he was afraid. That’s what he kept telling to Yoochun on his send-off party. He drank like crazy and he said everything out to his soulmate. Although he didn’t remember what he said, he knew he said everything since Yoochun had been treating him so well afterwards. Yoochun kept calling him yesterday, asking if he’s okay and told him things would be okay. He must’ve said everything.

                Jaejoong was worried about everything. Army things really don’t suit him. If he could choose, he’d rather do music forever. Everyone told him that it’s not as bad as he thought. Everyone said that he’d survive. But Jaejoong doubted it. Will he have friends? Jaejoong knew for sure that he’s pretty popular in the country, but his image was not a manly idol image. He has a perfectly toned body and everything but he was nominated as the prettiest guy in the world. He somehow regretted his decision to show how much he loves Hello Kitty. In Jaejoong’s mind, manly men (or those who think they’re manly), are disgusted with someone like him. Jaejoong also had a little bit trust issue with how things worked in his own country. Considering how some es banned him from showing up in any local tv programs, he was worried that the es also planned something to make him down in the military. Jaejoong knew he might have gone too far, but well, experiences have taught Jaejoong that there’s nothing like ‘too far’. Moreover, Jaejoong doesn’t have close friend who enlisted on the same day. Nobody could protect him. And oh, don’t forget that these 2 years may make him dead if the war happens.

                Jaejoong took a long sigh and decided to just do it. He threw his worries away and motivated himself that he’d make it. If he has to die, he’d die anyway. When he was about to stand up, he sat back and grabbed his phone. He remembered getting a message from Yunho last night. He read it but he turned off his phone because he was afraid he’d say nonsense when he’s drunk.

                “Good luck, Jae.” That’s everything. It’s not long, but Jaejoong can feel some warmth inside his heart. He knows. He knows and he sends me good luck. Jaejoong feels his body gets lighter, like something heavy has been lifted out from his shoulders. He smiled and started typing a reply. At first, Jaejoong typed, Thank you, Yunho. But he erased the whole sentence.

                “Aish, Jae, it’s too cold. What are you doing to someone who cares!” Jaejoong talked to himself. He then typed, “Thank you, Yunnie ^^”

                “That one is even worse. What are you? A girl?” Jaejoong groaned and harshly pushed the erase sign. He wanted to send something memorable, but not too girly, and not too cold. He wanted Yunho to know that he’s thankful, but he didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. Although the wrong idea is not really wrong. Jaejoong had to admit Yunho is still the one he loves the most which explains why he is still single. But it’s just not like the past anymore. He grew up. He didn’t want to be that desperate little boy who begs Yunho to love him. Jaejoong thought if it’s okay to be honest. Like, it’d be his last day having a phone, so he wouldn’t have to die to wait for his reactions. He could just spit it out and left and things would be okay. So he typed, I wish you’ll join me soon. :) 

                 Jaejoong looked at the message and stayed frozen. He didn’t want to erase it, but he didn’t have the courage to send it.

                 “He must have had a girlfriend already.” said Jaejoong.

                 “He would laugh at my message and showed it to his girlfriend.”

                 “He may laugh at me because I still want him.”

                 “He might even think I’m stupid for wanting him after all I’ve done!!”

                 “…or maybe he will hate me? Like, what do I expect after leaving him for years?”

                 “…but I wasn’t leaving him without reasons! He should be coming with me. It’s not entirely my fault.”

                 “What if he postponed his enlistment on purpose? So that he wouldn’t meet me.”

                 “Oh my God I’m going crazy.”

                 “Whatever I’m sending it.”

                 “Well, wait, not really…. Well, nothing to lose. Well, but… ARGH!” Jaejoong kept talking to himself that way to decide whether he should send it or not. In the middle of his frustrations, his sister called out from the living room.

                 “Jae! It’s time to go!”

                 “Okay, wait!” Jaejoong took a quick glance to his phone and pressed the send button.

                 “ it.” Jaejoong then turned his phone off and then, off he go!

                Jaejoong was gathered with the others on the required place. He decided to do this silently because he didn’t want his fans to see how nervous he is. If his fans came to cheer for him, he might be tempted to ask one of them to just kidnap him to other countries. He might breakdown and cry. Jaejoong thought that showing up his weakness from day one is not an appropriate thing to do. He needed to stay cool and composed which is impossible if his fans are around.

                Jaejoong looked around and tried to look okay. He smiled at his potential new friends and nicely asked them to take care of each other. It’s usual but somehow so awkward. Jaejoong had never gone out to meet people on formal occasions like this. He was a king (or queen) of flirting in the clubs, but he couldn’t do anything here. He looked around, worried, wished someone he knew could appear out of nowhere. He saw Sungmin, but well, he wasn’t close to him, not helping.

                I wish you were here, really, I wish you were here. Jaejoong closed his eyes to calm his emotional heart. Stupid, you shouldn’t feel that way now. Wrong timing. Jaejoong scolded his own heart. But he could hear his heart laughing at his words. It’s like his heart was mocking him for denying everything. He could hear something inside him said, everyone knows you want him here, you are just too naïve to admit that. Get real! Jaejoong took a deep breath and clapped his hands. He decided to get himself together and get on with others. He took another deep breathe, and smiled.

                “Ah! Hi! What’s your name again? I’m Kim Jaejoong. Please take care of me.”