Maybe things are starting to get better.

Maybe…

I’m not sure why or how, but I finally think I am right where I am supposed to be. Not somewhere between life and death. Not somewhere between heartache and unrequited love. No, I am finally between the arms of the man I love, somewhere between friends and lovers.

It wasn’t easy getting here but it was worth it. No matter the amount of hearts I have broken, or the ones that are slowly starting to mend… I can honestly say that it was worth it.

-

“You look like crap.”

Chanyeol stood in the doorway of my parents’ house that I had stayed at, ever since I had walked out on Chanyeol, looking dishevelled, pathetic and with a stench of alcohol covering him as an unfortunate aura.

“I… I’ve tried to call you, text you, see you… You just left.”

“I think I had a right to do so. I am not a charity case, Chanyeol.”

It was hard seeing him again, especially whilst not knowing whether the reason for his misery was me… Or Kyungsoo.

“I know. There’s no excuse. You are my best friend, Baekie. I thought I was doing the right thing. I realise know that I’ve been a complete idiot, thinking I could swoop in and save the day. But I can’t Baekie. I’m not a hero.”

I took a deep breath, trying to ready myself for what was coming next; more pain. More hurt.

But it never came. Instead I found myself pressed up against Chanyeol’s broad chest, in his embrace. In his warmth.

“I am so sorry Baek. I never should have let you leave. It’s just a chair. You, are a loving, living human being that I do not deserve. But if you let me, I won’t be your hero. You will have to settle for me, for Park Chanyeol. For the chubby kid who tried to make a friend in a new class, for the one… who chose you.”

Chanyeol ended the embrace and locked eyes with my tearful ones.

“I’ve always loved you, Baekhyun. I’m just sorry it took me an eternity to realise that. Give me another chance. Please. Just one more chance.”

I had no words. How could I trust him? What if he hurt me again? What if…
Chanyeol gently dried a tear from my cheek, looking at me with such earnest it made me hold my breath.

“I’m scared Chanyeol. The doctors tell me I don’t have long. I’m lost. I… Stopped taking my medicine.”

Shamefully, I cast my eyes at the ground. I felt so embarrassed at the power Chanyeol held over me. It wasn’t Chanyeol who was pathetic, it was me.

“Come home Baekie. Come home with me. I’ll will do anything, anything possible to make sure you live. Please. This is all my fault. At least let me make it right. Please.”

I saw nothing but honesty in Chanyeol’s eyes. It might’ve been wishful thinking, it might have been me trying to justify my actions but I am dying man, I don’t have time for ‘what ifs’. All I could do was trust in my friend, trust in love.

Trust in Chanyeol.

“How are you feeling?”

I was sitting in our bed as Chanyeol exited the bathroom, damp from taking a shower.

“Strange. It’s been so long since I was back here. Was everything really this pink?”

I received light laughter at my comment before Chanyeol threw himself next to me and pecked me on the lips.

“If you want, I’ll get rid of everything and buy new stuff, in any colour you want.”

“No. No, I like everything as it is.”

Chanyeol ran his fingers gently through my hair and planted another kiss on my lips.

“I missed you, Baek. So much.”

“I missed you too. To the point, I thought I was going crazy.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“What makes you so sure?”

Chanyeol gave me a smile, one of those that turn your legs into jelly. I had truly missed this man. Now, back together, something felt different. More powerful. More… Everything.

Chanyeol’s arm craned around my waist and pulled me as close to his body as possible. Slowly, lips were pressed against my forehead, my cheeks, nose, chin, neck and after he removed my shirt, small kisses were spread all over my chest. It felt like I was being completely covered by love, filling me with a longing stronger than ever.
I reached out for Chanyeol and kissed him deeply until breathing became hard. I frantically grabbed at whatever I could to stay on the ground but in the end gravity won and before long, I was floating in the air, wrapped in Chanyeol’s love.   

“What changed?”

As we descended back to earth, I couldn’t help but ask the question on my mind. Chanyeol simply looked at me, kissed my lips and answered:

“I did.”