❝Those three little words;
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                                   If I had to choose between loving you and breathing, I would use my last breath to say I love you.

His lips were on mine. I could feel the burning heat and passion in our kiss as I kept my arms around his neck while sitting on his lap. Oh my, he was freaking hot. Our breaths just turned rougher every second with his tongue playing with mine. But we were soon interrupted by the annoyingly ringing bell, making him groan when we broke the kiss. “.”

 I looked him in the eyes, those deep and black orbs that always made my heart beat in madness before I reluctantly removed myself from his embrace.

“Quick, Kai or else we are late for out next class.” I reminded him then hurriedly smoothened out my wrinkled school uniform caused by the makeout seconds ago. He stood up and grabbed  his bag but didn’t bother to fix his clothes  as he wrapped his sturdy arm around my shoulder and dragged me out of the dark storage house with his satisfied smirk. Oh please, this guy always acted like one of the cool kids at school. Well he was actually also my close friend. And no, we were not lovers. Friends with benefits to be exact. It all started when we went to a nightclub and thanks to alcohol, we accidentally had afterwards  which leaded to frequent private times like that. We were surprisingly happy with this since hello, we happened to be hormonal teenagers. There was also one little addition to our story.

That I, Kwon Sohyun, was hopelessly and secretly in love with this jerk named Kim Jongin.

The teacher had already begun his lesson but even though I was sitting in the class, my gaze simply couldn’t land on the board. The one to blame for this was no other than the guy I was kissing seconds ago  as my mind was full of everything about him who was busy taking note and listening to the teacher. Kai might look like a delinquent or somewhat a player but as his childhood friend, I was firmly sure that he was a nice young boy, except for some occasions that he turned into a goddamn y guy, especially when he danced. We were actually in a dance group so I almost met him 24/7. Unfortunately, I can’t get sick of seeing him no matter how long we were together. This secret love literally drove me crazy. Like many normal girls, I didn’t have the courage to confess to him because the thought of losing one of my greatest friends scared the heck out of me. And I felt lucky enough to do physical stuff with him so I just wish our relationship would stay exactly the same like at the moment.

It was as these thoughts crossed my mind as I felt a cold strong hand pinching my cheek.

“Yah! Kim Jongin! What are you doing?!” I whined at the sudden pain, hitting at the culprit’s hand repeatedly for him to stop.

“Making it chubbier.” His mouth twitched upwards at the corner while he made it worse by wiggling my cheek which soon caused him to laugh uncontrollably. “Your face look like a dumpling now.”

 I sent a death glare towards Kai before kicking his leg as hard as possible. He consequently had to remove his hand away from my precious face to hold the injured leg with a grunted face. “Ouch!”

 “That is what you get for teasing me.” I smirked in victory. Kai looked at me plaintively, still rubbing his leg. “I will revenge you later.”

“Come at me anytime, bro.” I stuck my tongue at him.

“Anyways you were spacing out.” Kai said. I blinked in reply, tilting my head as realization dawned on my face. “That’s the reason you attacked me?”

 He shrugged. “Is there anything wrong?”

A faint blush slowly crept on my face as I quickly waved my hand in decline.

“No no not at all. I was just thinking about the latest fashion trends to go shopping later.” I grinned and continued. “Worry about yourself first, silly.”

“ ‘kay then. Don’t think about me too much. I know I’m hot.” He winked at me. I laughed in sarcasm and rolled my eyes but panicked inside. “Haha nice joke. Mind your own business please.” Damn he almost caught me. That was when he leaned in close to my ear and whispered with that usual tempting voice. “My house tonight?”

I stared at him in disbelief, flustered at his words as he was then received a smack on the head by me. “Aren’t yesterday, the day before that enough for you?!”

Kai plastered on a wide grin, not seemed to be hurt by my strength. “Don’t tell me you don’t like it.”

I hit my head on the table, heaving a long sigh. Tonight was going to be tiring again.

My happy times with him just kept passing by like that until I realize that things can never go the way that you want. He had a girlfriend. That was what he told me one day as if it was the easiest sentence to say in the world. The way he smiled goofily while scratching his head when he announced his new relationship was killing me inside. I stood there, unable to move because I felt my heart shattering into thousand pieces and my breathing stopped. Never in all my life had I known that it would hurt this ing much.

“So pretty much from now on I guess you will have to find another lad to replace my amazing bed skills.” He joked with his usual playful smile that continued to worsen the pain I was having. With all the modest strength I had left, I managed to crack a chuckle, almost to the point that it became bitter.

“Pfftt thanks god that I don’t have to see your face every single second again.”

“Ouch honey that hurts.” Putting a hand on his heart, he faked a pitiful expression, thus forced me to act all funny and laughed at it. Luckily he got up to meet ‘the girl’ so we said goodbye to each other. Thanks god if he had been there any longer, I would find tears rolling down on my cheeks. But now as I no longer saw the sight of him, I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to block the weak tears threatening to overtake me and clutched my chest before my legs dropped on the floor. And I finally cried.

The next few days were hell to me. I went to school but acted like a soulless person: skipping meals, expressionless, sleepless, not paying attention to everything . No matter how many times my friends comforted me, I still felt like and generally, heartbroken. I even had to apply heavy eye makeup to conceal my puffy red eyes resulted from sobbing every night. Of course Kai didn’t notice it because he was busy doing all lovey dovey stuff. This was pretty pathetic of me but I missed him already. I missed all the little things about him.

Soon it was time that we had to practice dancing together which happened every weekend night for our  upcoming duo performance. I’d convinced myself to try my best to act like normal as much as possible. But easier said than done.

 “Did you go on a diet again? Man like I said that’s so unattractive.” As soon as Jongin saw me, his eyebrows creased together into a line, looking disapproving of my recent appearance while his eyes were on me. Maybe it was because I lost a few pounds and I had turned into an unhealthy looking girl. He used to complain a lot when I decided to cut back some food, telling me that he wouldn’t want to ‘do’ the bony type. I knew behind that dirty and meanie mouth was his concern for my health and I had always been grateful for it. But this time it was his fault that I became a skeleton like this. My heart ached again. I honestly didn’t feel like facing him directly since I might not be able to control my unstable emotions, at least for a few weeks until I was over him. Therefore I just shrugged half-heartedly and avoided his gaze before doing some warm up exercises.

As Kai noticed my low-spirit, he flung both arms in the air. “My bad. The princess is in a bad mood today.”

“...” I ignored him.

“Are you seriously not talking to me?”

“Just shut up and get to work.” I kept my voice calm and small although it got hoarse for crying too much. But I was shivering. Why did I have to be such a mess when it came to love?

After he remained silent for a while when watching me, he also started warming up and we didn’t say a word for that whole period. I bit my lower lip to calm myself and took a deep breath to decrease the anxiousness before I the music, positioning myself while he did the same in order to begin our contemporary dance.

This dance definitely required a lot of contacts between man and woman. As the music started, Kai held me in his embrace, our heads touching while I could feel his minty breath on my skin then we went with the flow before he grabbed my waist and pulled me up to leave the ground then we spinned. At that time all the flashbacks of us together attacked me: his delicate touch, his rough kisses, his passionate gaze. A big and painful thud was sent to my chest. I raised my leg high to do a graceful arabesques while his hand was still on my waistline, keeping me balanced. After some repetitive moves with different postures, I leaped to wrap my legs around his upper body as he carried me so I could move bend backwards until he gyrated me slowly to the rhythm. Not until we looked into each other’s eyes did we stop even though the music was still playing. My heart pounded so fast and loudly that I was frightened that he might even hear it. Without me realizing it, I was already touching his cheek and staring at his face. What a good looking devil. A few strands of his black messy hair fell on his chiseled face while the look in his sharp eyes was abnormally kind. I particularly loved his seductively thick and full lips that always seemed pouty along with his dark complexion. But what was in front of me now was something that I would never have. That awareness soon put me in despair as I lowered my eyelashes, not wanting him to see my distraught expression until he crashed his lips onto mine with a forceful grasp on my shoulder. My eyes widened and my mind went blank but I soon let loose to respond his agressive kiss while clinging to his hard muscular chest. I could smell his favorite D&G cologne subtly combined with a hint of cigarette. The sound of our heavy breathing was the only thing I heard. His soft lips didn’t show any sign of slowing down or being more gentle as the kiss kept getting deeper. Then all of the sudden Kai pulled me away. There was a lingering trace of disbelief etched across his face. At the same time my sense came back to life as I just noticed the situation we were having, leading me to be dumbfounded also.

“W-why did you do that?” I stammered, knowing full well that I did kiss him back but it was him who started it when he had a girlfriend already. Deep down inside me there was a little tiny hope. But maybe he was just playing around with me.

“I don’t know.” Jongin held his head and struggled to find the reason. I frowned at his answer as there was a tingle in my chest.

“What do you mean that you don’t know?” I raised my voice slightly. I could feel my anger slowly building up.

 “Look, can we act as if this hadn’t happened?” He sighed. And at that moment, I finally broke out. The feelings I had for him all this time were released. I could not bottle up my emotions anymore.

“Who are you to kiss me like that and pretend everything is okay?!” I shouted at him, enraged at his vagueness.

Kai seemed to be taken aback by my reaction as a suprised look appeared on his face. “Sohyun?”

“I’m not your toy, Kai. You can’t just come to me whenever you want. Do you ever think what you do might affect others?” My voice became out of tune, somewhat throaty before my eyes turned wet which filled him with alarm and concern.

He quickly grabbed me to wipe away my tears but I immediately pushed him away. “ don’t cry.” From the way he ignored my rage, I guessed that he had probably understood what I meant. But that didn’t mean I let it go. I needed to end this suffering.

“I love you.” I said those three words slowly and clearly while standing face to face with him but tears were still coming out. He neither showed any expression nor managed to say some words. I frankly didn’t need an answer but it would obviously a rejection simply because he had liked another girl. All I wanted was to free myself from him. “I think we should avoid each other for a while.” I continued before walking out of the room and left him standing there. I knew it was time to move on.

It had been a few weeks since that incident and here I was, doing pretty fine. Holding the tears and sadness wasn’t as hard as before as I learnt to become optimistic although my feelings for him didn’t change much. I wasn’t mad at him anymore but the thing was that  I couldn’t bring myself to be friends with him. I looked away and ignored him everytime we met during the lessons or on the way home. Then on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, I came downstairs to open the door after noticing that someone rang the house bell. My heart jumped up in surprise.

 It was Jongin.

“Hey.” He was wearing very casual but still managed to look cool. However his voice had somewhat turned deeper and manlier. But now that I saw it, it was his significant decrease in weight that surprised me the most because even though we ran into each other at school, I hardly took a glance at him.

“Hi.” I answered calmly which only seemed to make the atmosphere awkward. That was when he held out a bag of tteokbukki and soju - my favorites.

Sorry that I had the taste of an ahjumma.

 “They are for you. I came here to say sorry. I’m really sorry. I want you to know that I have never had the intention to hurt you.”

I looked down to the bag for a moment and decided to take it. I let a small smile play on my lips.

“It’s okay. I’m fine now. You are forgiven.” His complexion brightened up a little bit. “But that doesn’t mean we are going back to before.”

“Yeah, I did expect that.” He nodded. Then neither of us said something for a minute, unable to make eye contact before he spoke up, slowly.

“You know, I couldn’t stop thinking about you for the past two weeks. It was unusual not having you around and I hate it more than anything. I became so mad at everything. I hardly ate or slept. I even broke up with my girlfriend. Then I realized the reason why I suddenly kissed you at that time is because all these times without me knowing it,...” He stopped, coughing a bit. My whole attention had fallen upon him as I blinked. “...you have already stolen my heart. And I can’t imagine my life without you.” Kai was looking away and biting his lips in embarrassment. His cheeks were even tinted light pink. I couldn’t describe how adorable he was in this situation. My head was spinning around and my heart kept pounding at the speed of a flying airplane. He later found the courage to look into my eyes and clearly declared his feelings.

“I know this is shameless of me to confess to you after all of this but  I’m scared if I don’t do it now, I’ll lose you forever. Kwon Sohyun, I love you. Will you give me a chance to start over again?”

I quickly wiped the tears in the corners of my eyes but it was too late – I cried like a baby. I cried to release every pain I had to endure during this period and I cried in happiness . I wasn’t strong at all.  He gently hugged me and let my head rest on his chest while patting my head.  It was very comfy and warm. I could even hear his rapid heartbeat.

I pulled out of the embrace as I stopped crying. My eyes sharpened, focusing on his only..

“I won’t be easy to get.” I said and managed to let out a chuckle to his anticipation of my answer. And Kai couldn’t look any happier. He was grinning like an idiot as he lifted me up and spinned me around.

“YESSS!”

“Yah put me down! Starting over is not like this!” I screamed and hit him constantly. In a quick second, he immediately put me down and pecked my cheek. Before I had the chance to react to his sudden change, his lips curved into an attractive smile.

“My name is Jongin. It’s a pleasure to meet you, beautiful.”

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✉(A/N).

Hey guys. I'm Jade. This is actually my first official fanfic. English is not my first language so please bear with me if there are some grammatical mistakes. I hope you guys enjoy this story. COMMENT IS HIGHLY ENCOURAGED. I'd LOVE to hear your opinions. No bashing allowed but constructive critism is loved. 

I have been a fan of Sohyun for like 4 years hehe. I ship her with everyone omg. But KaixSohyun is one of my OTPs. They would seriously look so cute together <3 I had such a difficult time writing this story since I'm very lazy and often out of ideas. But here I am ^~^. If you guys like this fanfic, I might have the motivation to write more. Btw I really want to know who you guys ship Sohyun with. I'm planning on writing a story about her with Jackson cuz those two on Weekly Idol made me swoon. >///<  See you guys next time! 
 

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