There was one day where I didn’t have any conversation with Doojoon for a month. The morning of that day went perfectly normal and ordinary but when night came, everything changes. I was spending my time on my beloved studio to finish Mr. Kim’s family painting when the phone call came. I looked at it and when I saw an unknown number on the screen I was in internal debate whether to answer it or not. Doojoon once said to me no to answer any phone call from unknown number but for some unknown reason I just press the answer call and just like that, the phone was falling to the ground with a loud crash in just a minute.

 “Hello, are you Mr. Yoseob? Hello, this is from K Hospital and we want to inform you that Yoon Doojoon’s car was in accident with-” My heart was beating fast as I drove through highway to the hospital. At that time, I didn’t care about my unlocked studio or the unfinished painting because the only thing in my mind was Doojoon and Doojoon only. That night was probably also became the night when Yang Yoseob broke speed limit and many of traffic law. I left the car with valet guy and immediately went to ER and asked for Doojoon.

“Mr. Yoon Doojoon still at operation room in 5th floor. You ca-” I didn’t have to hear the rest of it because all I need was to see Doojoon as fast as I can. I didn’t have a patience to wait for an elevator for I quickly went to emergency stairs and ran up to the 5th floor. On my way up, a lot of things came to my mind and most of it were a negative thoughts. I was thinking what if Doojoon didn’t make it? What if Doojoon disappear from my life? What if I never see him on our apartment every morning? What if-We spent four years living together and we never spent a time apart for more than a week. So, to think that I might not see him for the rest of my life hurts me. I depend on Doojoon as if he was my oxygen in this world so without him by my side-it kills me.

“Doojoonie.. Please don’t leave me..” I watched the red light that didn’t turned off for hours and I watched nurses came in and out with several medical equipment on their hands. The hospital never felt so cold before.. I was by my own since I left my phone on my studio and I couldn’t contact anybody-not even Mr. Yoon. I could ask for phone to the nurse but at the same time I was afraid. I was afraid something would happen if I left this chair. I felt like Doojoon could disappear at any time if I didn’t sit here. My back and was hurting from sitting too long and from the hard chair I’m sat on but I didn’t mind it. It was nothing compared to the pain in my heart now.

“Ahh.. No wonder the floor felt so cold on my feet.” After long hours I just realized that I had no shoes on. Why I didn’t realize it sooner? I asked to myself. What a stupid question.. I brought my leg closer to my chest and embrace it tight as I’m still waiting for the red light to turn off. My eyes never moved from the closed door and the red light above it.

“Oh God.. He is everything in my life.. Please.. Please don’t take him away from me.. I-beg you.. Don’t leave me alone Doojoonie.. I need you..” I finally let my tears out with one loud sobbing. I-just couldn’t think a life without Doojoon in it. It was just too much and my body couldn’t hold all of it. I used to be fine by my own but since I met Doojoon, I never want to be alone again. It was very lonely and dark and I didn’t want to live in that world anymore. I spent hours crying and sobbing before the door finally opened, revealing Dr. Park whose face too hard to read.

“Yoon Yoseob-ssi?”

“Y-Yes.. H-How is h-Doojoon’s condition?” My feet screaming with pain the moment I stood up and my back felt like pushed down with one ton of weight.

“We did all we can to safe his live but the damage was too great on his body. So we have to put him into a comatose condition for at least 3 weeks.” Comatose?

“W-Wha-W-Why?”

“Because the pain he felt on his body may be too great for him and this is something we have to do to increase his chance of survival. His condition right now is