There he is, standing at the center of the class, joking around with his friends. All the chairs and desks have been moved to every side of the class, because today some of the students need to sweep and mop the floor every end of the week, and today is Tao’s turn, together with Baekhyun, his best friend.

Baekhyun is in charged with the white board and Tao can see him struggling to wipe the top side of the white board because he’s too short too rich in and he hold his laugh. Chanyeol starts mocking him around, but his friends didn’t really intend to mock Baekhyun because they have zero interest with him, and they all know that Chanyeol secretly (well, more like open secret to every each of the students in their class) admiring Baekhyun noisiness and his cheerful personality.

Zitao remain silent. He needs to steal a glance every time he has a chance to take a good look at Kris who are dribbling his basket ball in the middle of the class, showing off to his friends, and some of students who admires him, just like Zitao. But Zitao could never speak or even show his affection to Kris, coz they are like a heaven and earth, it’s almost impossible for Zitao to think that he had a slight chance to be part of Kris life, not even being his friend.

Kris is always charming just the way he does; he is the school well-known sportsman with his natural brunette hair and his tall appearance, why would anyone ignore his existence? Zitao thought Kris is his first mistake because he should have fallen over someone who is within his reach.

But who are we to decide with whom we should fallin in love with? Life could be much easier if every single people able to do such a thing, isn’t it?

Tao continue to sweep the floor, enjoying the sound of Kris’ stupid laugh in the middle of the class and the sound of his basket ball pounding on the floor. Some of the girls who obviously doesn’t like Kris (what are they thinking? Have they lost their mind?) Muttering and ask them to leave the class because of the noise disturbing their study time and they need to do their homework before they went back home.

“Ya!! Why don’t you guys play outside, they build a basketball field for a reason!” Said the girl and some of her friends following her and said the same thing.

Zitao stop sweeping and turn his head around to see the who tries to disturbs his only chance this week to enjoy Kris’ basketball performance this close, but she didn’t even aware of Zitao’s deadly glare aiming at her.

“You don’t wanna miss your chance to see this?” Kris showing off his skill once again and intends to throw the ball over the the wall and bouncing back at him but he didn’t throw it right on target because he is too cocky and throwing it without looking at the direction and of course he ended up throwing it at the wrong direction, and it hits harder than Zitao ever thought right on his head, making him feels so dizzy all of the sudden.

The laughter of Kris’ friends thought that it is totally Kris jokes, for a while Kris was laughing with them too, Zitao can hear it clearly. He stood right there, still holding his broom. He squeezes it real hard, trying not to cry and holding his embarrassment at the same time. For seconds he can control his emotion and tears quite well until he hear that the girls are laughing at him too. Now it’s too late to hold his tears, he’s crying and trying to calm himself down and think what should he do next real quick.

Kris’ laughter has faded, he stop laughing as he can clearly see that Zitao is hurt and embarrassed at the same time. He approach him slowly and touch his left shoulder, trying to see Zitao’s face closely and making sure that he’s right about him crying.

“H-hey…, I’m sorry”

Zitao’s hard is pounding, this is not the love story that he ever wanted, and he doesn’t know how to react right now, should he be happy because he can finally getting touched by his first love and get noticed, or he should continue to cry and leave this world because he can’t stand the embarrassment?

“I HATE YOU AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!” is the words that he never intended to say coming out from his mouth. Of course he could never hate the boy that made his life sparkles and bloom without him even trying, but at this moment, he hates Kris for making him embarrassed like this and he doesn’t want to be noticed this way, not ever.

He dropped his broom and walks out of the class, didn’t want everyone to see his red teary eyes because of something so stupid. Kris’ following Zitao closely as Tao can clearly hear his trample steps surrounding the corridor.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it- I actually want to hit-“

“Leave him alone, you bastard” Baekhyun said and pushes Kris’ chest real hard, trying to tell him that don’t mess with Zitao anymore, although this might be the first time, but this should be ended immediately before everybody mocks Zitao further. This is the culture of their school and Baekhyun knows it well enough to stop it before it even started.

“Why? I just want to say I’m sorry”

“Leave it to yourself, just because you have everything doesn’t mean you have every right to do such a thing to anybody, leave him alone before I punch you right in your pretty face, pretty boy” Baekhyun walking backwards before he disappear and run towards Zitao’s direction who apparently running faster than he thought.

--

It took one hour until Tao finally able to stop crying and Baekhyun can force him to go back to their class, because most of their classmates already went home, including Kris and friends; he hoped.

Zitao never told Baekhyun about his feeling towards Kris though he had a strong feeling that Baekhyun knew it a little bit too long than he expected. 6 months in despair, waiting in the corner, waiting for Kris to notice him, today is finally happened but in the worst situation he could ever imagine. That’s why he hates Monday. He always been hating Monday for his lifetime, he had this bad experiences that most of them happened on Monday. It’s like Monday is cursed for him, and today’s even adds up the list of his Monday Curse.

“You deserve someone better, Zitao-ya” Baekhyun whispers loud enough for him to hear it clearly inside their empty classroom.

“Huh?”

“I said you deserve someone better”

“Why would you say that?” Zitao knew, Baekhyun is referring to one and only Kris, but he wants to hear it himself, he wants this conversation, he wants to say the bunch of words that has been staying inside his heart and his mind for months, and this might be his best chance to share it to his bestfriend, the one who he trust more than himself at this point.

“You know who I meant, why would you like someone who doesn’t even care about your existence?”

“I thought maybe one day-“

“That one day is today, and look what happened to you, I even saw him laughing as hard as his friend, laughing at you and-“

“That’s okay, Baek. I mean, I probably gonna laugh too if I’m in the other side of the class”

“You’re so pathetic”

“I know, I know. But, I can’t control what I feel towards someone and-“

“He’s just appear to be perfect in his outer appearance, that’s why I said you deserve someone better, well probably not getting as close as his handsomeness but at least the one who cared about you and doesn’t do anything stupid to embarrass you”

“That’s okay, Baek, thank you for your concern. This is probably some kind of warning for me, to forget him; I’ll try my best, thank you for supporting me. Now let’s finish this already, I’m so hungry” Zitao said, trying to be cheerful and wants to get over this conversation as soon as possible because he doesn’t want his friend to worry about him even further.

--

Zitao holds his breath as he enters the class. He can’t sleep last night because he is afraid of people still not over his embarrassed moment yesterday and continue to mock him even harder. But the class is quite, everyone is already forgetting what happened yesterday. He sigh a relief and sit on his usual chair. Baekhyun is probably still eating his breakfast somewhere, he never skipped breakfast, it will make him sleepy, he said.

He sits in the front row, all of the back rows has been occupied since lots of student prefer to sit at the back to evade their teacher’s question and able to hide when they wants to sleep, chats or doing everything they can and being completely covered.

He can hear Kris talking with his friends happily at the back, he usually enjoy his husky voice and dreaming about them together and how Kris laugh happily listening to all Tao’s stories while they are having a small picnic trip in some small island, but he can’t imagine any of that because of the embarrassment and he can feel his cheek getting hotter because of yesterday’s event. Great, now I can’t even think about anything beautiful anymore about him.

--

‘Hold this, I’m gotta pee-pee”

“Tsk, stop acting cute” Tao said while smiling

Taozi and Baekhyunnie are planning to go to the bookstore that they always hung out every Tuesday.

“Ehm-“

Tao startled and immediately seek for the mysterious sound at his back.

“I’m sorry I have to hide-“ Kris explains

“….why?” Tao said, forgetting that he likes Kris for 6 months now and now he’s talking to him like he knows him for so long and he also forgetting that he should stay mad at him because of the stupid event yesterday.

“I have to wait for Baekhyun to enter the gent’s room, he’s kinda scary, don’t you think?”

Tao rolls his eyes, trying to hold his laughter, how can a big giant like Kris scared with someone cute and tiny like Baekhyun? How’s that even possible? But then he cleared his throat and act like he’s mad at Kris and showing his defensive expression.

“What do you want?”

“I know you’re still mad at me, I just wanna say I’m sorry I didn’t mean any of it, really…” Kris awkwardly scratching his head like a dumb kid, but Tao thinks it is so adorable.

“I don’t care!” Tao shouts as Baekhyun finally came out from the bathroom door and immediately giving Kris a death glare making Kris excuse himself right away.

“What the hell is he doing?”

Tao smiles, he hasn’t been this happy, probably since he scored 90 in his English quiz last week. His life is much simpler before he fallen for Kris, before he met that tall giant Canadian boy who lives a couple of blocks away from his house. It’s funny how he met Kris first time was from his way back from school last semester when Kris unpacking his family boxes and thingies from a big truck, and the next day that cute boy appear in front of his classroom, getting so much attention and immediately involved with the school basketball team right away, and become their new sport star.

He received a confession letter, lunch box and snacks from lots of boys and girls who have fallen with him as well. Of course he accepts all of them, but still, he doesn’t really respond to any of their confession, probably they are not his type or he most probably still not really into a relationship. That’s great, Tao thought. Another day has passed and he still not breaking my heart, by making out with other girl or boy.

“YA!!! I’m talking to you!” Baekhyun waving his pretty fingers in front of Tao’s sparkling eyes, thinking about Kris making him forget everything, more like he’s losing his mind for minutes.

“You are thinking about him, don’t you?! Babo…” Baekhyun sigh

“I thought last Monday was one of my worst Monday, but it turns out that it is probably my greatest Monday ever, Baekhyun!”

“Oh really?” Baekhyun voicing out his signature mocking tone

They continue to walk, with the brightest smile of Tao that really disturbs Baekhyun. He really didn’t want his friend to get hurt, not today, but he surely will if he keeps dreaming about Kris. Baekhyun never told Tao this, but he saw one of two moments where some girls crying over Kris because he rejected them, right in front of their face and told them that he doesn’t really into a relationship, and they are not their type, physically,  for his excuses. Baekhyun didn’t want to see his friend Tao experiencing that too; it will break him into pieces.

--

“I’m still mad, stop talking!” Tao said while walking passed Kris before he could ever talk the next day they met in front of the school canteen.

Tao can’t hide his smile after he’s in the safe distance and he’s sure that Kris isn’t following him at the back.

--

“Oh my God! Why don’t you get rid of him? It’s been days since he said he’s sorry, Tao” Baekhyun said

“I know” Tao grins

“No, ! You’re enjoying this!”

“Yeah~” Tao said, scratching Baekhyun’s brown hair. “Funny how he’s not giving up on me after days, huh? I mean, he could have said sorry for the first and the last time, but why he still saying it after days?”

“You need to stop, Tao. Seriously-“

“Why? I mean, sure probably next week, and then I’ll forgive him, but then again, I’ll be vanishing from his life. He’ll never notice my existence, and then I’ll be just the one who stalks him at the corner of the class, silently enjoy his voice, and his basketball performance, let me enjoy this for a couple more days, okay? And I’ll continue my life, just like the old time”

Baekhyun couldn’t say anything anymore. Yeah, Tao is probably the saddest guy he ever met in his life, how could one person love someone this hard without even want to show it to the guy? But then again, he shook his head and didn’t want to think if one day Tao crying over Kris because he broke his heart into pieces, oh please God, please don’t let that happen. He prays.

--

Just like Tao predicted, Kris continue to show his guilty and say his sorry everytime they met. That day Kris ride his bike and he saw Tao walking while reading his thick book and he immediately approach him.

“When will you forgive me?” Kris said.

Zitao stop walking, he could smell Kris’ pheromone in this distance. They are so close and Kris didn’t give him enough space to move forward because his bicycle front wheel blocking up his way.

“Maybe tomorrow” he said, and he really meant it. He finally decided that tomorrow probably the best day to let go of Kris and tell him that he’s forgiven him. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to continue my walk back to my home”

“I could ride you back home” Kris offers him the greatest offer of his life, but he need to refuse it, although he really wants it, this is probably will never happen anymore, but it will get him closer to Kris, and make him harder to let Kris go from his life, he’s beyond your reach, Tao. Get over him. He said to himself and shook his head.

“No, thanks” Tao said

“Why is it hard for you to forgive people?” Kris said

“And why it bother you so much, young man?”

“Because I don’t want anybody to hold grudge on me, especially someone I didn’t know that well. I didn’t meant it and I said that already but you still mad at me”

I’m not mad at you, you moron. Sure I’m madly in love with you, and not in a million years you’ll know and understand that. “Like I said, maybe tomorrow” Tao said, trying so hard not to smile. He could never dream about this, having a conversation with Kris at this close distance. Smelling his pheromone and see him this close, watching the wind brushing his blond hair and enjoying his husky voice like the music from the seventh heaven.

“I can’t sleep at night” Kris sigh

Oh my God, are you thinking at me at night? Tao whispering to himself; he should go or he could never force himself with his straight expression anymore because he wants to smile and he want to scream so that anyone know that he is the happiest guy in this world right now.

“Why did you tell me something like that, it’s not even my business” Tao said with his straight face

“Because I know that someone hates me as much as you do and I need to face that reality every day. I hope you understand and forgive me in the near future” Kris said, continue to ride his bicycle and disappear in the next turn of the street.

--

“I’ve finally decided” Tao showing his genuine smiles after their breakfast that day

“About what?” Baekhyun said

“Today is the day I finally to let him go, let everything back to the way it was”

“Kris?”

Tao nods

“For Christ sake, you’re still able to look at him every time you want, Tao, besides, he’s just your fantasy, you’ll get over him later, I’m sure of it”

“I hope so. He offers me to ride his bike with him yesterday; I’m such a lucky guy”

“But you didn’t do it, right?” Baekhyun worries

“No, and I regret it already”

“You’ll regretting it both ways, either you accept or reject his offer”

“I know”

They enter almost an empty class, just dozens of students attend the class today and their teacher already sits in front of the class.

Miss Yang cleared when she see Baekhyun and Tao enters the class.

“Students, I’m starting the class earlier than usual, I just informed some of your classmates to go to the hospital”

“Uh?” Baekhyun groans involuntarily “What happened?”

“Your one of classmate, Kris Wu, had an accident yesterday and he’s in hospital X  so I asked them to pay him a visit”

Tao startled, oh my God this must be his fault, He was the last one to meet Kris yesterday and he’s feeling so guilty right now, mixed with worries. He gets up from his seat, running away from the class, didn’t even care when his teacher shouting of his name.

He couldn’t stop running although he really needs to catch his breath. His tears running down from his cheeks but he doesn’t even care. Most of the people on the street looking at him, and he doesn’t even care a bit. He really need to see him right now, this is all his fault, funny how a week of his sorry will make Tao sorry for the rest of his life. What is he couldn’t play basketball anymore? What if he couldn’t walk? It is all because of Tao.

He wipes his tears, looking for a receptionist to find Kris’ room but he lost his way inside the busy hospital.

“Right here, you dumbo” Baekhyun said

“How- how”

“Of course I’m faster, I rent a taxi. You’re running for a straight 20 minutes, geez. Here, have a drink”

“No, I need to see him”

“I’ve already told them to go back to school”

“Who?”

“Our classmates, Park Chanyeol and all”

 “Is he okay?”

They arrived in front of the VIP door. Tao opens the door and saw Kris lying down, it’s not as bad as he thought, and he’s pretty okay though his head covered with bandage.

“Uh, Tao? Why are you crying?” is the first word that comes out from Kris as soon as he saw Tao’s swollen eyes

“I-I’m worried about you and-“

Kris chuckle “Mom, this is one of my classmate, Tao”

“Hi, I’ll excuse myself and let you guys talk” Kris’ mom smiles and went out together with Baekhyun, leaving with some more privacy.

“I’ve been meaning to forgive you, no, I mean, I have forgiven you all these time, I’m so sorry I did that stupid thing, I hope you can forgive me”

Kris chuckle, and accidentally bang his head to the wall behind him

“Ouch”

“Why are you so stupid” Tao said, laughing and forgetting his sadness.

Kris cleared his throat, “I know you have forgiven me days ago, I saw you smiling after you left me with all the guiltiness”

Tao feel so embarrassed, more than he could ever imagine, he’s the one who stupid and really want to disappear right now. “How do you know...?” but he’s too curious just to disappear without the answer

“I saw you smiling from the reflection of the window glass in 104 classes”

“But why are you still apologizing if you knew that?”

Kris smiles, getting up to sit straighter than before and then he grab the porridge his mom brought and eat it casually “the same reason as yours”

“Huh?”

“So I could talk to you one more day” Kris smile

Tao stop breathing, he saw a knife in the cupboard besides all the fruits putted there and really want to stab himself to ensure himself that he’s dreaming right now, it must be a dream, the most beautiful dream he ever had. No, he couldn’t take this, Kris is playing with him, you should stop smiling and crying at the same time you idiot! He thought, but he couldn’t stop. His face probably so ugly and Kris might disgusted by it and regret all of what he said right now.

So he understand, all of the worst Monday, there will always be one Monday that could spare him the best day of his life, from all the day he could ever imagine, and if he’s dreaming right now, he never wanted to wake up anymore, let him be drowning with his own dream and be happy with it for the rest of his life.

--Fin--