“We’ve figured your future out Sun Ho,” he spoke. “I am so proud of you, son.”

Chapter 20:

Had Chung Jae been dreaming for weeks…? Had he just been dreaming of Sunho…? Had he just imagined their first real kiss – real time of having – first time of him doing him…? All this while he had just imagined that he had gotten what he had wanted and Sunho was actually with Eric…? If it had all been a dream, Chung Jae wouldn’t have wanted to wake up from it.

The break was awful – Sunho was in Eric’s arms, being kissed and rubbed all over. Chung Jae was alone; he had gotten back to the era of loneliness. Minwoo was in an entirely different school and Dongwan was working (A/N: Dongwan is older than Minwoo in this fic ^^) in some ice-cream bar. Even the people Chung Jae had once spoken to were friends with Sunho and Eric.

Sunho kept giggling adorably to the older guy, his fingers the chin, when his gaze escaped to the other tall one further away from the group. Eric was telling some random story from the States – possibly something Sunho had heard million times already – so he didn’t notice his boyfriend’s longing ogling at someone else.

Chung Jae was staring directly at the younger man, before he scoffed and turned his head back to the thing he had in his hands.

“I need to go to the toilet,” Sunho whispered and pried himself free from the arms.   

Chung Jae sipped his juice box and threw the empty version to the nearest trashcan. He could see someone approaching him from the corner of his eyes, but he ignored it, stood up and left. Sunho stopped to his tracks, watching where the boy walked to, and followed him.

“Chung Jae…”

“Yes?” Even though Chung Jae wanted to really show his anger towards the smaller guy, he couldn’t hide the fact that the dreams had made him fall for him more. “We weren’t supposed to talk…remember?”

“I am sorry…I just…” The younger one’s voice shivered. “I am so confused…”

“Confused of what?” Chung Jae questioned.

His best friend’s eyes turned shimmering and it was awful as Sunho only cried if things got serious. It meant that it was serious now and Sunho didn’t know what to do. Chung Jae automatically stepped closer, but daren’t touch him as he had been told to get away from him. The slightly taller boy held his hand awkwardly up but placed it back down right in front of Sunho, and exhaled.

“My parents…and…and Eric…and you…” The younger one stuttered. “I can’t please all of you even if I wanted to.” He sobbed. “I want to please you the most, but whatever I do to you will make my parents disappointed.”

“Sunho ya, what are you talking about?” Chung Jae frowned.

The best friend covered his face with his hands and wiped the running tears in one go, showing his ugly, red face to the guy who thought he had never seen anything prettier than that. The red spots covered the cheeks, and the lips were dark shade of red and swollen.

Sunho didn’t care as he cupped the face and butted their lips together. Chung Jae widened his eyes, pinching himself to make sure it was just a dream, but when he didn’t return back to reality, he brought his hands onto Sunho’s waist and answered.

Chung Jae didn’t need an answer from his best friend.

He didn’t need apologies from him.

He didn’t need him to be his – well, it would have been nice if he had been.

Chung Jae was fine with things being like this. It was fine for him they hid their romance. It was fine that Sunho loved him and wanted him pleased. It was not fine that Chung Jae couldn’t have him just for himself.

“You know what I always wanted…?” The younger man murmured.

“Huh…?”

“To do it in a public bathroom.”

“Oh god…”

                             ~~OO~~

“Sunho ya, what is it?” The mother entered her son’s room and saw him lying in bed.

Sunho was staring at the ceiling, hands on his stomach, when the mom sat down beside him and the mattress weighed funnily. She placed her hand on her son’s and smiled. Sunho continued staring at the ceiling and suddenly sighed.

“A row with Eric?” She asked.

“No.” Sunho shook his head. “We don’t argue with Eric…”

The mother nodded, taking the hand off for a while and placed it again on the small ones. Sunho turned his head at her and bit his lip. She knew the boy had something to ask.

“Mom…”

“What?”

“Why do you love Eric so much?” Sunho interrogated.

“Because he is a good boy.” She was confused.

“But…Chung Jae is a good guy too…” The boy murmured carefully. “…isn’t he?”

The mother became silent.

“Mom…?”

“Ye…yeah…he is a nice guy too…” she semi-smiled. “Why do you ask?”

Sunho felt his heart thudding and saying negative things while the brain agreed, but he didn’t care. He just opened the mouth and told, “I…I’m in love…with him…”

The look on the mother’s face became serious.

“Mo…mom?”

“You will get over this crush.” She said. “And you will bring Eric to have dinner with us tomorrow night.”

“But…But mom…”

“And maybe it is better if you didn’t meet with Chung Jae - sshi anymore.” Sunho gasped sat up from the bed and tried to reason but the woman already exited the room and closed the door loudly.

                             ~~OO~~

Sunho held hands with Eric when they stepped out from the school building. The younger man leaned in to kiss the older man very hungrily, and other students were either staring at them or ignoring them. Sunho led the kiss, opening his eyes and looking over the shoulder at the best friend.

When the two retreated from each other, Eric dragged Sunho to Chung Jae and made him stop studying. The younger boy raised his head and ogled at the two for a while.

“So…” Eric started. “Andy told me about him and you.”

“He did?” Chung Jae tried not to sound too happy.

Eric snorted, gripping Sunho’s hand tighter and said, “Aish, you are so pathetic.”

Chung Jae scowled, leering at his best friend this time, and blinked his eyes. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“See? He was so pathetic.” Eric commented to the younger man next to him. “He seriously didn’t realise you were just playing with him to have ? Aish, dumb.”

“W…what?” Chung Jae stammered, looking at the youngest man.

Sunho diverted his gaze.

“Sunho…you…you really…you…”

“He faked it all. Everything.” Eric laughed. “You are his best friend and you didn’t even know? you’re dumb.”

“I didn’t ask you!” Chung Jae jumped up furiously. “Sunho! Tell me!”

The best friend bit his cheeks and just crooned, “Whatever he said.”

Chung Jae couldn’t believe what he said, as he just walked past the two violently, tears rolling down his cheeks, and exited the schoolyard. People were laughing at him, Eric was laughing at him, but when Chung Jae was gone, Sunho hugged Eric to hide his tears.

                             ~~OO~~

“Chung Jae?”

“Chung Jae?”

The said boy marched past the kitchen to the bedroom. He threw his schoolbag to the bed, looked around the room and grabbed things that Sunho had given him over the years. Chung Jae broke the friendship necklace he had gotten from Sunho when they had been 10 years old. He broke the clay cups they had made in school. He broke the paintings Sunho had made for him as a 5-year-old.

The look on Chung Jae’s face was filled with rage when he ripped the papers, the bracelets and necklaces. His ears were red and he kept letting out hissy breathes. The room was rummaged thoroughly, even the hidden things he found from the boxes he tore into small unrepairable pieces and stomped them under his feet.

“C