Hi guys,

I'm so sorry for not updating this story for the past... what, five months? I didn't deliberately quit writing on it, it just happened. I occasionally try to think about the story again but I can't.

[ Mentions of transphobia below ]

Perhaps it's because ever since I came out to my mom I was told she understood and knew lots about trans stuff, but within three days she started misgendering again. This was a year ago. All that's changed is that she now consciously misgenders and makes transphobic jokes, rather than unknowingly. I'm scared of my dad's reaction, and even more about other people in my family like my agressvely homopobic brother (so nvm trans views) to whom my mom happily outted me as not straight before (which resulted in some awful slurs used). So I chose to not talk about it anymore and I try to just not respond to any convo or remark about gender and orientation so I won't call myself the wrong gender ut also not give them the idea I'm trans. I don't want to pretend to live a life as someone I'm not, but I really don't have the energy or assurance to try coming out again. It's stressful, and terrifying.

Long story short, I'm only further back into the closet and thinking about my gender hurts terribly, which makes writing this story too hard because a lot