iii

"Kyungsoo-ah!" Kyungsoo's co-worker slash friend, Lay, greeted him as soon as Kyungsoo entered the familiar building. Kyungsoo took a deep breath, the smell of old books instantly comforting him.

Kyungsoo has been working at this small library a few blocks from his apartment for about a year now and it has always been Kyungsoo's second home and, most of the time, his hiding place.

"Do you want some coffee?" Lay asked as he placed a stack of books he's been holding on the counter. "There are a couple of new books that arrived when you were on leave and I'm sure you'd love some of them"

Kyungsoo knows that Lay knew about the issue and he was very thankful that Lay didn't bring it up. Lay can see the dark circles underneath Kyungsoo's slightly swollen eyes— the same eyes which used to be so bright are now empty.

Lay excused himself to go to the small kitchen at the other side of the library to make some coffee for his friend. Kyungsoo has been there for him when he got dumped by his ex-girlfriend, so Lay made sure he'd be there for Kyungsoo now that he heard what has happened to him and Jongin.

It has been a shock to everyone, really. Everyone in their group of twelve friends were sure Jongin and Kyungsoo were the almost perfect couple in the group (even Luhan and Sehun were nothing compared to them and those two were practically inseparable) so no one really knows why Jongin didn't show up. No one knew where he was nor has anyone seen him ever since the day before the wedding. Well, except for Sehun who was supposed to be Jongin's best man.

Lay can still remember how Sehun was almost tearing up and how he blamed himself for not being able to keep Jongin from leaving.

"He was crying and I didn't know what to say" Sehun told them, his hands running through his hair in frustration "You all know I'm not very good at comforting people so he just cried and left without a word. Kyungsoo hyung, I'm so sorry"

"Thanks, Lay" Kyungsoo offered a small smile as Lay placed the cup of steaming coffee on the table in front of Kyungsoo.

Lay watched as Kyungsoo slowly reached for the cup, his fingers making their way around the cup. He then noticed something missing on Kyungsoo's finger. He knew Kyungsoo always wears that ring but now, it was missing and Lay knew better than to ask about it.

Lay cleared his throat before reaching for a book "You should probably just rest. I can handle everything here so just go home, Kyungsoo. You look tired"

"I'm fine, Lay" but the both of them knew Kyungsoo was lying. "I don't want to spend another day alone at home" And a subconscious voice in Kyungsoo's head keeps telling him that it's best that he go out because what if Jongin suddenly decides to go home to their apartment. Kyungsoo wouldn't know just what to say. Kyungsoo doesn't even know what they are right now.

"How about you stay here but just do whatever you want. You don't have to work. Just go read a book or something" Lay offered as he pushed the book towards Kyungsoo "When I'm sad, I write a song. I don't know if that'll help you, but it helps me everytime"

It was almost five o'clock on Kyungsoo's watch and Lay was already closing down the library when it began to rain. From Kyungsoo's spot, where he had spend the whole day doing nothing really, he could see the splatter of the rain against the pavement and people rushing to cover themselves from the raindrops. Kyungsoo closed the second book he has finished for today and rubbed his eyes, and blinked a couple of times. His eyes still feel weird.

"Kyungsoo" Lay called out and Kyungsoo looked up and saw Lay already putting on his coat "I'm meeting Junmyeon for dinner, do you wanna join us?"

Kyungsoo stood up and shook his head, a small smile on his lips "No, thanks. I don't really want to be a third wheel"

Lay laughed at that and grabbed his duffel bag from the counter "Are you sure? I can call Baekhyun and Chanyeol or Kris so they can come with us—"

But Kyungsoo was already shaking his head "Just go enjoy your date. Tell Junmyeon I said hi" With a final wave, Kyungsoo was out of the library.

The rain poured even harder and Kyungsoo sighed, clutching his jacket tighter to his body. He pulled his hood over his head and made a dash for the café just in front of the library, where he and Lay frequented to after their shifts in the library. One of their friends, Luhan, worked as a barista at the said café and when Kyungsoo entered, jacket drenched with rain water, Luhan greeted him with a smile.

"Hey, Kyungsoo" Luhan was wiping his counter as Kyungsoo walked over to him.

Kyungsoo took a seat on one of the stools on the counter and offered a smile.

"The usual, I presume?" Luhan asked, already grabbing a cup. Kyungsoo nodded and watched as Luhan worked with the coffeemaker machine. Not long after, a cup of steaming hot newly brewed macchiato was placed in front of him, along with a preheated cinnamon bun. Kyungsoo mumbled a small thanks before blowing on his coffee.

"So" Luhan walked over and took the seat beside Kyungsoo. There were no costumers except for Kyungsoo, so Luhan decided to take a quick break. "How are things?"

Kyungsoo shrugged before grabbing a fork and cutting a small portion of the bread. "I'm doing better, I guess"

"Are you getting enough sleep?" Luhan questions "You look tired"

Kyungsoo just sighed and nodded.

“I don’t know if I’m supposed to tell you this but” Luhan paused as he started fumbling with the hem of his apron “Jongin called Sehun last night”

Kyungsoo’s grip on his fork tightens but he just nodded “Really? How is he? Is he, um, alright?”

“He’s fine, I guess? I don’t think he wants any one of us to know because he asked Sehun not to tell anyone” Luhan sighed and reached up to Kyungsoo’s arm and gave him an assuring squeeze “But I’m sure he’s fine”

Kyungsoo just nodded, not knowing what to say. But Jongin was fine and that’s what Kyungsoo really wants to know.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know what wakes him up but when he looks up to his bedside table he saw that it was still early; 3:09. Rolling to his back, Kyungsoo stared at the ceiling, his eyes quickly adjusting to the dark.

He doesn’t know why but there were times when he just suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night. Maybe it was because of his dreams or something. But now, Kyungsoo doesn’t have Jongin who always unconsciously pull him closer, whispering quiet words of “go back to sleep, hyung”.

Kyungsoo reaches for his phone under his pillow and with blurred eyes and half-conscious mind, his fingers slide and tap against the screen for a new message.

To: Jonginnie

Sent 3:11 AM

i miss you

The message adds to the other messages he has sent to Jongin. Knowing that the message would also be left unreplied, like his other messages, Kyungsoo locks his phone and placed it back again underneath his pillows.

Grabbing the pillow next to him, Kyungsoo buried his face there, his nose suddenly filling with Jongin’s scent which lulled him back to sleep.

As Kyungsoo fell asleep, he was unaware of the vibrating of his phone.

From: Jonginnie

Sent 3:13 AM

i miss you, hyung

From: Jonginnie

Sent 3:14 AM

i'm sorry

From: Jonginnie

Sent 3:20 AM

and i love you. so much.

hi!

i'm really sorry for the wrong update earlier. i was editing the previous chapters and i didn't know that it would alert subscribers for a new update :(

but here's the real update. :)

thank you for reading :)

jonginnie will appear soon, don't worry :)