The title of this chap & lyrics quoted are from the song Jealous by the talented singer Labrinth & if yall ever feel like getting slayed by a really great break up song, I'd highly recommend this one. Also, if you wanna get in the mood I'd also recommend It's YoU by Zayn, My Everything by Ariana Grande, All of me by John Legend and Please don't by K.Will. Now without further ado, please enjoy the chapter :)

Seunghyun was a man who appreciated alone and quiet time where he could sit somewhere and just reflect on himself, without any noise or anybody interrupting these peaceful moments. Only, the alone time he got since his breakup with Nicki was anything but peaceful, his mistake and its consequences kept staring at him in the face & reminding him of how he broke the most beautiful thing in his life. The break up had happened a week ago now, but he still couldn't believe it was real. A part of him kept hoping that Nicki would call him and ask him to come back but as time passed by , he realised that their relationship was really over. He lost count of how many cigarettes he smoked these past few days but he probably it was definitely more the double of what he usually consumed. Usually smoking would help with the stress he was feeling. Unfortunately, this time, the weight of his mistake couldn't get relieved with a couple cigarettes. So he turned to alcohol, not the heavy & strong stuff, though, lately, luxurious french red wine had become his best friend. Other than the glass he was currently holding, he had nothing else. Well, of course, he had his friends & bandmates, but he had turned off his phone the moment he had arrived at the hotel, to avoid anyone be able to reach him. The only voice he heard in days was the one of a male singer, who described perfectly what Seunghyun was currently feeling.

 

♫ I'm jealous of the rain 

That falls upon your skin

It's closer than my hands have been ♫

 

And he couldn't blame anyone but himself.

The feeling of having Nicki close to him haunted him, almost torturing him with an overwhelming wave of nostalgia which drowned him repeatedly since he locked himself in the room. Even in the night as he laid motionless on the huge king sized bed, he could only think of how good it felt to have Nicki laying at his side. Some nights, she was laying almost completely on him, as cheesy as it may sound, those were his favorite nights. Now the only things surrounding him were loneliness and the deep of the male singer in the song that's been on repeat for countless hours.

 

♫ I wished you the best of

All this world could give

And I told you when you left me

There's nothing to forgive ♫

 

And as all his days looked and felt the same, his vacation of two weeks came to an end.

Today was the day he had to go back to Korea considering he still had obligations to attend to before preparing his enlistment in the army. Dark luxury sunglasses perched on his nose, and mood at the lowest, he braved his way through the excited crowd of fans waiting for him at the airport. He did his best to ignore the shouts of "Where's Nicki ,Top?", "When are we gonna see yall out together again?", "You guys are so cute!" that were thrown his way. It was hard really, he felt disappointed in himself for momentarily forgetting that previously he was in a highly profiled relationship, with people from around the world fawning over his and Nicki's love. 

Idols in the Kpop Industry usually didn't get this kind of welcoming reaction to dating news, he still remembers the early days when fellow idols had to hide that they had a significant other that made happy, loved and cherished. It was one of the reasons he rarely, in almost ten years, hadn't been in any serious