A/N: Hi~! Sorry for the late update. OTZ   I've been sick for almost a month again. I was not able to write because I'm always at the hospital for check-ups. TT_TT

italicized = main person's life reflections / quotes / thoughts / other shizz

Lastly, there will be a different main POV for each chapter. When it's 2011, it's the main POV. When it's 2015, it's third-person POV. I'll indicate the main POV on the title so you won't get confused. Enjoy~!

SEPTEMBER 2011

There are different kinds of addiction. But, there are only two types of it: the one that leads to euphoria and one that leads to self-destruction. For most people, it's either you choose one from the other. One might choose the addiction that makes their heart flutter every second to avoid pain and sufferring. Others might settle for the one that they think would alleviate their pain, only to realize that the hole they're into is just getting deeper.The problem is when the euphoric addiction becomes a destructive one. It destroys one's comfortable habit. It ruins time-tested bridges. This kind of self-destructive addiction makes a person numb...numb enough to not care about the world. But when the addiction leaves, the five stages of loss and grief comes across.

First. DENIAL.

Knock. Knock. Knock...

"Do Kyungsoo," I said in a low, menacing voice. Maknae, Suho-hyung and I were all huddling in front of Kyungsoo-hyung's door.

Nine weeks had passed since I saw Kyungsoo step out of his room, not counting his ninja trips in the kitchen to eat and to the bathroom to do his things. The last thing that we heard from him was his mumbling, "Everlasting OT12." No one in this house actually cared how much time he spends in his room. The only thing that concerned us was the loop playing of that freaking depressing and stalker-like song. It's quite tolerable for the first few weeks since he started locking himself up. But please, even at the convience store, all that kept on ringing on my ears was the sound of Kim Heechul's "Nan neorago noerago naneun" line. One more week of this ery and I would confine myself in an asylum.

"If you don't open your door, Suho-hyung is going to kick your door." I really couldn't (and would never) understand why Kyungsoo-hyung was so addicted with these 12 normal boys. Heck, I looked better and could dance better than them. 

"I'm serious. On the count of three. One...Two..." Suho-hyung said as he was about to smash the door when...

Click. Kreeen. Thud. 

"Ouch!" The tree of us screamed in pain.

"Yah! Kai-hyung, you're smaller than be but your heavier!" Yeah, we had our own version of evil Maknae.

"Pff. In your dreams!" I scoffed back to him. "I bet that you already suffocated Suho-hyung with your weight!"

"I did not!"

"Yes, you did!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did--"

"Just both of you get off me!"

Maknae and I were startled since Suho-hyung rarely shouts at us. I stood up first and help the evil one and the evil one then helped our "appa." I fixed my shirt and saw Kyungsoo-hyung in his blinding heart-shaped grin. I could not help but to stare at his lips and wonder how would they taste like...I got back to my senses when my beloved hyung pushes his white flip-phone onto my hands. I scrolled down to read the article he opened. My face scrunched before I looked at my hyung.

"Hey, Kai." My hyung said without wiping off the grin in his face. "It's already September 27 but SM Ent's website is still posting some April Fool's joke. Lee Sooman is really crazy, right?"

Still grinning, Kyungsoo-hyung began letting out sniffing noises. He then bawling like a child infront of us. I heard our hearts cracked. I threw his ancient phone to the floor as we lunged to the smallest man and hug him as tightly as we could, muffling his loud cries.

'Han Geng and S.M. Entertainment have amicably settled on a mutual agreement, and the lawsuit was able to come to a close after Han Geng submitted his 'Notice of Withdrawal of Appeal.'

Denying something or someone is the most selfish act in this world. Acting like someone did not say anything or something did not happen. Ignoring their effort and courage to do something life-changing. Isolating oneself to live in a make-believe fantasy. Denying something is the most selfish action in this world and the start of either healing or self-destruction.

Second. ANGER.

"Kai-hyung..." Maknae rushed to me as I closed my locker. Being a second year in college, having my locker was the best thing that I could ever had to survive this hell. "Soo-hyung...palli!" I looked at Maknae, who was still catching his breath after running so fast towards me. He covered his mouth as he coughed and pointed towards the fiel