Guilty Pleasure
written by justdance2727
reviewed by altschmerz

**Due to personal reasons, the reviewer wasn't able to complete this review.  However, we decided that the time and effort the reviewer was able to put into this review would be beneficial enough to the author to post.  A full, completed review by another of our reviewers can be found in the next chapter.**

Title: 4/10
I can't really say if the title fits the story. Do you mean Joy's love to Chanyeol? Maybe her relationship with Sehun will somehow turn into something that could be considered a guilty pleasure? It's hard to review the title of an unfinished story since I don't recognize its connection to the plot (yet?) and for now guilty pleasure could mean a lot of things and really isn't original at all... Try to make it obvious to the reader why you chose this particular title or as opposed to this reveal a hidden meaning or something at the very end of your story, quirky and surprising titles work best! Maybe you could hint on the second meaning of the expression 'Guilty Pleasure' as a bother, a vice of some sorts or connect it to the (that's about to come, looking at your tags?). At this point, 'Guilty Pleasure' is a pretty average title and sadly doesn't have me wanting to know what your story is about at first glance. Find a connection to the story that surprises the reader and is memorable and the title could be perfect despite its unoriginality! ;) (sounds rather harsh but I've seen at least ten stories with the same title). 

Plot: 10/25

                3/10: Setting
                Okay so I don't really know what to say about this because, frankly, it didn't happen much in the story yet so I cannot give you an in depth review about the setting of your plot What I can say is that there really aren't any particular places that ground the characters. It's like the actual story that you want to tell is floating through an unknown setting, there are rarely descriptions of where things happen. How does Joy's apartment look like? How do the characters look like? What does the protagonist see, feel, smell, hear? Where did Chanyeol hold his speech? Things like that, descriptions, make the plot and characters feel alive to the reader. Though, your enthusiasm was shown by how you tried to create as many sets as possible.

                5/5: Originality
                Your idea is very original! I haven't read something like this before but Chanyeol striving to be a politician and the protagonist being his (obsessed) little manager sister is a great idea! The whole thing with Sehun having been a fat kid is kind of cliché but I'll have to wait how this part of the story turns out to be.

                2/10: Believability
                I don't think Joy's obsession is believable. Joy as a character in general doesn't seem to have a personality at all yet and that makes her flat. The lack of believability is caused by the missing of descriptions of surroundings, impressions and feelings. You don't really explain why the characters do what they do directly or indirectly. Everybody seems to be changing continuously and in ways that are not understandable for the reader and that takes away a great deal of believability...

TOTAL: N/A