It was as if nothing happened. The next day, Onew went to the company, got scolded, went home, brought lunch for all, of them and had the talk. The other four apologized and the group swore they will work hard to keep SHINee intact. Other than that, everything fell back to the old routine of members leaving the dorm without telling Onew. But that only lasted for a little less than a month as they got busy for the preparations for the Hello album and their first ever solo concert in Japan. It was as if Jinki never snapped and broke down.

Onew put all his effort into practice and performances. He diverted all his attention to work until he got numb and forgot everything that broke him that day. Even Jinki was a bit appeased as he spent more and more time with the members. Maybe staying with themembers actually mended the part that broke inside of him.

Or so he thought. As all the work dwindled and the time for a short break came close Onew got more anxious.

What if all the we’ve been through last year happens again?  What if they stop needing me again? What if they don’t actually trust me enough to share stuff about their personal lives? What if I fail as a leader again? But Jinki reminded him They like you. It’s me they don’t trust. That means you have to stay even on breaks. Onew always needs to face everyone while Jinki hides behind.

And Onew continued to share lame jokes, make his band mates laugh, and show his bright self in every schedule. The mask was a perfect fit and no one realized how the wearer is starting to break again. No one knew of the nights when he woke up from bad dreams of s leaving him and letting him fall in the dark abyss. No one saw how desperate he was to actually talk to s. No one saw how he struggled to keep everything to himself. No one saw how he stopped himself from blurting everything to Kibum every time he asks if the leader was fine. He wasn’t but he has to be. This is the only way they’ll stay. If he breaks again, they might leave. And that is what he is most afraid of.

The internal struggle the leader has been going through while still trying to be the Onew everybody knows was taking a toll on him. His health started suffering. He easily got colds but he never stopped working. He had a fever but still performed in a concert. He told himself he needs to be a significant part of the group. He needs to be needed. So when the four actually left him alone and went back to Korea ahead of him, the leader suffered his second and most severe break down.

The manager didn’t know what to do. Onew suddenly broke and Jinki resurfaced. Even Jinki was so surprised with Onew’s retreat that he didn’t know what to do.

Hey hey you can’t just disappear like that

The manager was confused so he said "Onew, they just went on an earlier flight. You will rejoin them tomorrow. We will be taking the earliest flight tomorrow."

But Jinki doesn't hear anyone but himself anymore. No no no. You told me you will take care of it. Why are you putting me on the spot right now. Hey Hey. Jinki started tapping his head not so lightly.  You told me everything is fine. You should be dealing with this. Jinki went to the nearest mirror. What did you do? Why did they leave you? I thought everything was okay. Onew tell me what’s happening? What am I supposed to do now?

The manager was starting to freak out as Onew, or is it Jinki?, punched the mirror and a new batch of shattered glass scattered on the floor. “Breaking mirrors, shattering glass, this is the same thing that Key talked about when Onew acted out of character after Jonghyun’s scandal broke out. Could it be?”

A softer sound came from the boy with a wounded hand standing in the midst of broken glass. They don’t need us. They are fine. Let’s not be needy and let them be.

 And Onew fell. Luckily the manager was able to prevent his head from banging on the ground.

“Sorry Onew. I didn’t see it earlier. I hope you are not yet broken beyond repair”

“Don’t tell them.” Was all the manager heard before Onew fell unconscious.

No matter what the happens the leader must not be a burden to s 

_____________________//__________________________

A/N:

This chapter is not as well structured as the first three. I hope you can comment on the flow. Was the pace too fast? should I give more detail?

To be quite honest I wrote the first three chapters without knowing how it will transition to the other part I wrote (the next update)

All comments will be well appreciated.

For reading up to this point...

Thank You

~AnotherWriter