warning: explict language and some violence. read with caution.

 ONE

"You could be my unintended choice to live my life extended."

One, lighted cigarette pressed in-between your lips. Two, inhale deeply. Three, the end flares red as air passes through it, the warm thick smoke filling your lungs with nicotine satisfyingly. Four, exhale slowly and watch as the grey smoke that escapes your lips fade away with the cold winds of the city. Five, shiver as you wrap yourself deeper in to your jacket, trying to trap the residing warmth in your lungs from escaping your body as the bitter blast of the thin winter air spears your skin ruthlessly.

Repeat it all again from step one.

Taehyun wonders if and puffing his life away slowly in a deadly cycle was worth it all; but he figures that he doesn't have anything to loose, so he continues. He had already went through four cigarettes when he hears familiar voice laughing. He looks up and feigns happiness and excitement seeing Jiwon approaching him with that handsome smile of his, arms draped around the shoulders of his two best friends. Taehyun subconsciously tugs at the ends of his beanie and offers Jiwon a weak smile as he lets him wrap his arms around his waist, pulling him in for a hug and a quick peck on the cheek.

"I missed you." Jiwon whispers into his ear before he pulls away from the hug. Taehyun tries his hardest not to flinch. He takes one look at Jiwon's endearing expression and his heart aches. The world is cruel, but he plays along with the game and answers simply with the most loving gaze he could muster up.

They break free from their little fantasy when Hanbin makes violent gagging noises from behind them. "Hurry up, disgusting love birds, or there won't be any good booths left."

Jiwon smiles and casually drapes his arm over Taehyun's shoulder. "Let's head in, then."

/ /

Let the heavy bass pulsate through your veins and feel it right in your bones. Your mind becomes hazy and you wonder if it's because of the hot, sweaty bodies pressed against yours in the dense and compact dance floor, or that shot of vodka you downed a couple of minutes ago. Or maybe its the fact that your lips are pressed against his. Strong hands that find their way to the lower part of your back and your own fists are gripped onto his hair, pushing each other deeper and closer to each other. His lips are rough and chapped and you can't help but to out a soft moan. He groans as he slid his tongue pass your lips, a rush of heat grows in your chest as your tongue entangles with his.

You feel as if you're about to loose your mind, desire driving you to insanity as a heavy feeling stabs you right in the gut. But you try to ignore it as you devour his lips roughly. You twirl your tongue and on his lower lip before bitting into it, earning a loud groan from the younger man. You pull apart from a kiss to see his pupils blown with lust, lips red and plump and shoulders rising up and down quickly as he tries to catch his breath. He reeks of alcohol and tobacco, Taehyun thinks as he hears his heart pulsate in his ears loudly. .

Jiwon looks at him with eyes clouded with arousal and alcohol. He his lips before whispering into his ear, "Go to the back with me."

Taehyun shivers, and the horrendous feeling in his gut grows and now theres a nagging voice at the back of his head, screaming at him. Screaming at him to stop doing this to himself. Run, run, run!

He nods. With a soft "Yeah," he lets Jiwon lead him to the back of club to the booths which was now mostly secluded.

Maybe Taehyun has a problem. Or maybe he just likes the pain; he's pretty sure he's a masochist. Or maybe he's just wired that way. It's been built and engraved into his system, kicked and beaten harshly into the very core of his bones and heart. Without it, he just doesn't feel real. A cold numbness that consumes his veins, its frustrating and perhaps the only feeling strong and forceful enough to make him feel real again is pain.

So Taehyun lets Jiwon pull him into his lap, hands gripping onto his hips as he pulls him into a kiss. He freezes and his hands start to tremble when Jiwon starts to run his fingers though his hair. His heart stops and his blood runs cold when Jiwon removes his beanie and grabs his hair roughly, causing Taehyun's ears to twitch with excitement. Taehyun could never get used to showing people his ears.

Jiwon's eyes shoot open, hand frozen in place as it grazes the soft fur. "What the ?" He growls, voice thick with bitter venom. Taehyun offers a weak and apologetic smile when he sees the look of betrayal and hurt in Jiwon's eyes.

He couldn't blame him, really. Taehyun was the one who lied to him, who hid him from the truth. The person who he had been spending the past few months with was a hybrid-- and a stray, no less. It must've been a slap to the face for Jiwon, society only sees hybrids who belonged to someone worthy of being treated as a person. Adoption centers could only care for those under 18, and so the strays who are abandoned by their owners are left at the back of the alleyway, with nothing to left to fend for themselves as they are treated as nothing more than mere pesky animals with no fee