L.Joe's POV

I wanted to know more about it, but I couldn't ask.

I've only heard the adults talk about it.

Our house has always worked for Myungsoo's house.

My mother, who always had a rebellious streak, ran away when she was a teenager.

"I won't live like you!" Were the words she said to my grandmother as she ran out the front door.

She hopped on a motorbike and the driver sped away, leaving only dust behind.

A few years later, my grandmother was working.

She noticed someone moving.

She looked up.

There my mom stood.

Eight months pregnant.

Broken arm.

Bruised face.

Tears.

And my grandmother didn't say anything.

Just hugged her.

That's all I've heard while eavsdropping.

I don't know who made my mom hurt, much less why.

My mom had me with a cast on.

And soon became the worker at Myungsoo's house.

The same year, Myungsoo was born.

I was always running around when I was little.

Myungsoo was the opposite.

Always in his room.

He didn't sleep well at night.

He didn't like eating.

He threw up a countless amount of times.

He rolled around crying with a headache.

The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with him.

None of the other workers stayed long.

They couldn't deal with Myungsoo.

My mom couldn't deal with him very well, either.

I remember watching my mom trying to feed Myungsoo.

His mom had left, muttering about bratty kids.

It was a weirdly cold house.

There was no love.

His mother and father were constantly fighting.

His mom kept a steel award for acting in the glass cabinet.

Cold.

Beautiful.

Trapped.

His mother used to cry while looking at it.

One day, I was playing with a toy robot.

"That's..." A small voice piped up.

I spun around.

Myungsoo was standing there.

"I threw that away."

It was our first conversation.

I could feel myself blushing.

"If you want something of mine, don't wait until I throw it away." He said, turning to leave.

We were 5 then.

That night, I was lying in bed with my mom.

"Mom."

"Yes, sweetie?"

"What's dad like? Is he a bad person?"

"... Byunghyun."

"Yeah?"

"In a person's stomach, there are two kidneys."

"So?"

"It's nice if you have both kidneys, but you only need one to survive."

"Oh."

"You only need one kind of pride to survive. Mom will be that pride for you."

Pride.

It was a hard word, but I thought I understood.

"Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"If you don't even have one kind of pride, can you survive?"

"If you want to survive, you need at least one kind."

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I feel worried for Myungsoo."

"But he has both his parents."

"But he doesn't even have one kind of pride."

My mom was silent.

"Mom, will Myungsoo die?"

"Well, you can always find a kind of pride as you live on."

"Huh?"

"Like me. I used to have no pride, then I found grandma again."

"But will Myungsoo find his?"

My mom hugged me close.

"Byunghyun, when you're wondering what kind of person your father was, look in the mirror."

I looked at my reflection and tilted my head.

Was that what my dad looked like?

To know what kind of person my dad was, I tried to test myself out.

I pushed the door open.

"Hi."

Myungsoo looked up.

"Do you want a toy?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"Do you know what a kidney is?"

"Uh, no?"

"It's in your tummy. You need at least one to survive."

Myungsoo just stared at me.

"I'll be your kidney, Myungsoo."

"How?"

"I'll always be on your side. If someone is mean to you, I'll be mean to them."

I told Myungsoo all the things I'd do for him.

They were basically all the things that I wished my father would do for me.

"For free?"

"Yeah. Just, you need to think that Byunghyun is the best."

"Just think?"

"Yeah. That's called a kind of pride. You need one to survive."

We were six.

I doubt we both know what the I was talking about.

But he nodded.

And he changed.

"Madam, come and look!"

"What?"

"Myungsoo! He's eating!"

Myungsoo and I were sitting at the table.

"Myungsoo, you need to eat the beans too!"

"I told you to call me L, Byunghyun!"

"I told you to call me L.Joe!"

"Whatever. I'm done eating."

"Yah, Myungsoo! EAT THE BEANS!"

From that day on, Myungsoo got healthier.

I became his friend.

I became his brother.

I became his guardian.

I kept all the promises I'd made to Myungsoo.

I became his kind of pride.

He only listens to me.

He only opens up to me.

Everyone always worried that he's too attached to me.

But I like it.

The me that was six and waiting for Myungsoo to throw his toys away is gone.

I'm now the most important person in Myungsoo's life.

One day, I was looking at Myungsoo's face.

And the first thought I had?

I thought that I could do anything for Myungsoo.

And as soon as I had that thought, I felt something inside.

Maybe...

Dad...

Was a good person after all.

The car pulls up th the driveway.

I push the door open and jump out.

"Myungsoo!"

Then I hear it.

"You son of a ."

Whatever happens, I won't let Myungsoo get hurt.

"Don't hurt Myungsoo!"

I grab Junhyung's collar and pull him back.

Why won't I let him get hurt?

Because I'm a good person.

I pull my fist back and prepare to punch Junhyung.

Why?

Because...

That's what I have to do.