It had become a ritual, since 5 years ago.

On this day every year, Sooyoung would first go to the park with the playground where they always played at when they were young. Swinging on the swings like nobody’s business; sliding down the long spiral slides with adrenaline and the wind rushing through them; she misses the innocence of the young days dearly. She smiles as she remembers how Changmin would push her so hard on the swing that she felt like she was ten metres above the ground; how she would then scream at the top of her lungs and scold him after that; but she was never really angry with him.

She’s still waiting. Waiting for him to come back, to relive all these old but cherished memories.

Their old high school would be next. Walking through the now empty classrooms and hallways, she remembers all the ups and downs of their school life together. The playful times – running around the whole school compound chasing each other, skipping lessons to chill in the cafeteria; the hard times – hours after hours spent in the library studying for killer examinations; the normal times – just doing projects together, eating lunch together; she remembers it all. She stops at the steps leading to the cafeteria and stares – it’s almost as if she can visualize their young selves together; he would be playing the guitar, while she would be next to him, belting out their favourite songs.

She’s still waiting. Waiting for him to come back to her.

She then makes a trip to the church. The sacred place which she has held dear in her heart since she was young; and also the place where she would be bonded to him forever. Or so she thought. She remembers every detail of the whole process. The unity of Shim Changmin and Choi Sooyoung. Sitting down on one of the seats, she remembers everything, from their kiss to the vows they made – I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health; I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. But then she thinks, you never fulfilled your vow, Minnie; in sickness and in health, we should have stayed together.

She’s still waiting. Waiting for him to come back to her.

Finally, she would go to her last destination. It is a peaceful sanctuary, with flowers and trees blooming all around that big piece of land; coupled with occasional bird chirping sounds. She thinks that it would be a nice place to stay, if not for the numerous grey stone structures dotted around the whole area, and if not for the fact that he was gone. She walks purposefully to a certain one. The grey tombstone is still there; weathered as it is. Not a figment of her imagination.

Once again Sooyoung realizes; there is no point in waiting. Because he will never come back.

Even after 5 years, she can’t let go. On this day, she can’t help but be overwhelmed with emotions. A tear falls down her cheek; as she recollects the sequence of events from 5 years ago.

**********************************************************************************

She had thought then, that it was just a normal business trip. Nothing to worry about.

“Soo, it’s just a short business trip. Wait for me, okay?” Changmin said. She still continued holding his arm; whining slightly. She never liked the idea of him being apart from her.

Changmin gave her a small peck on the cheek. That was the usual remedy; it always left her giddy with happiness, and stopped her whining.

“Promise me you’ll take good care of yourself,” she said to him, “I’ll miss you…”

“Promise.”

Once again, he gave her a hug. Before they parted ways with the usual goodbyes and endless waves.

They had repeated this farewell sequence for countless times already. And so she had thought, it was just the usual. He would return soon; maybe about a few weeks later; and they could enjoy their time together again.

**********************************************************************************

She receives the fateful call while she is at work. Unknowingly. She receives it in the cheerful voice she always had.

“Hello, may I speak to Mrs Shim please?” she heard an unfamiliar voice ask.

“Yes, I am, you are?”

“I’m Mr Shim’s – Changmin’s – friend, Jung Yunho. I’m really sorry to have to tell you this, but…Changmin’s…dead.”

She sat up straight immediately. Wait, what…? I must have heard wrongly…He didn’t just say ‘dead’ right?

“Erm, pardon? Changmin’s…what?” she had asked politely.

“Mrs Shim…I know it must be hard to accept this immediately, but Changmin’s…really dead,” the guy at the other end replied somberly.

Sooyoung stood frozen, trying to comprehend the whole situation.

“He…did you know…he had stomach cancer?” Yunho continued speaking.

“S…stomach…cancer?” she stuttered weakly. No…no, it couldn’t be…all these can’t be real, it’s just a dream…

She slapped herself hard, hoping to wake up from the dream that never was/called reality.

Nothing happened.

Yunho continued, “So he kept it from you…as I thought he would. He never wanted to make you worry. He only wanted you to be happy…”

“He decided to seek treatment overseas and I followed him a few days ago. We came to America, in hope of seeking a cure for him.”

“But luck was not on our side. T…the operation…failed…and…and…he left…” she could hear Yunho’s voice almost cracking too.

She kept silent; unable to speak; for rivers of tears had overwhelmed her then. She felt as if the whole world had collapsed around her then; she found it hard to breathe.

**********************************************************************************

She travelled to America to see him one last time; and to bring him back to Korea.

Entering the cold and unfeeling morgue, Sooyoung felt a sudden trepidation. She felt the urge to just turn around, leave the morgue, and return to Korea. And all will be fine. Everything would remain the same.

For she can’t bear to accept the horrible truth. She doesn’t want to face him, pale and lifeless.

Finally, though, she mustered her courage. Upon seeing his still, unmoving body, she broke down, trying to shake him violently, as if it would wake him up. This is not Changmin…it’s not him…he wouldn’t ignore me…

She pulled his limp and cold body close to her in an embrace; though deep in her heart she already knew then; that he could never feel her ever again. That he could never meet her eyes again. That they had been separated forever by an unbreakable formidable wall.

**********************************************************************************

She places a single rose stalk on the hard grey stone, lamenting the fact that all that is left of him are those carved words on the tombstone.

In Memory of Shim Changmin

Died on November 13^th, 2006

You told me to wait, Minnie. I’ve waited. Waited for so long. You promised me that you’ll be safe. But you broke your promise, Minnie. You broke it, Minnie…

The first time that he would break his promise; would also be the last time he ever did.

She can’t help it; more tears flow down her cheeks continuously. Bracing herself, she retrieves a pack of tissue from her handbag, which she has already prepared beforehand.

She wipes off her tears slowly. She knows that there is no point in crying; nothing can bring him back. But just for that one day, she believes she can allow herself to be weak, to release all her inner grief and sorrow every year. To bring him back to the front of her mind; instead of hiding it behind all the hecticness and business of everyday life without him. One day where she can express her feelings for him openly, instead of trying to hide behind a strong facade which she had built to protect her scarred self.

Her eyes are now dry; albeit red and swollen. Retrieving a pair of sunglasses from her handbag and placing them on, she starts to leave. To leave the one day of reprieve she has provided herself; out to the cruel world she would have to face again without him.

Minnie, don’t forget, I’m still waiting…

It is a long way back to the main road. With heavy footsteps, she trudges back to her car solitarily.

She hears a pair of footsteps approaching from one of the many side roads of the cemetery beside her. Looking up, she spots a tall lean guy clad in a solemn ensemble of a black suit and black pants, also sporting a pair of sunglasses. Like her, he is passive and somber, with the same heavy footfalls.

Unknowingly, they begin to walk beside each other; in pace with each other. Their heavy footfalls are also in tandem.

To her surprise, he speaks up, “It hurts, right? To lose the one you loved so much.”

Sooyoung turns to her left to look at him without stopping. “A…are you talking to me?”

“Who else is there here?” he replies, in the same flat voice.

“O…oh,” she says, “yes…yes, it hurts. A lot,” she says in a hushed voice.

“I miss her. I miss her so much…Her smile, her actions, her…everything,” he says, “She liked sweet potatoes. Yes…she loved them…” he continues as an afterthought.

She nods silently in agreement – he had said exactly what she felt then, for Changmin.

“He told me to wait. He said he’d come back safely. But he never did…” she trails off.

“I’ve been waiting, too. Waiting for the day where I can wake up from this horrible reality, to find that all these is just a dream, that it is not real…” he says.

She doesn’t know what to reply; and they continue walking in silence next to each other.

About five minutes pass before he speaks up again.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Cho Kyuhyun.”

“I’m Choi Sooyoung.”

Maybe they had realised then, that the one they should have been waiting for wasn’t the ones they had lost; rather they should have been waiting for the one who could understand how each other felt, to heal their emotional wounds, to continue bringing happiness to each other.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Aishh I think I could have done this much better...some parts were a bit unclear hope you guys got the overall plot though :) heh and sorry for breaking ChangSoo (oops) but KyuYoung is open for your imagination :D ahhh and once again the ending is horrible yikes! D: comments are greatly appreciated so I can improve thanks! :D