“Beer?”

 

“No, thanks.”

 

A sound of closing refrigerator door was heard before Jongsuk walked closer toward me. “What with that face?” He asked as he threw his body over the couch next to me.

 

“Hm-“ I rubbed my face harshly.

 

“I saw your smiling face for days since Twenty Premiers. I thought it would last. But- It dies already?”

 

“Don’t you read nowadays news?”

 

“About?”

 

“Him.”

 

“Kim Hyunjoong?”

 

I closed my eyes tight. It hurt to hear his name mentioned. It even hurt to see news about him.

 

Days before, he hired a new lawyer and through him, it seemed that he tried to prove that he was not as bad as it aired. He finally fought for himself. And I found it disturbing. Even before he hired the new lawyer, he kept on aiming her. He never gave up on her. The news broke Somin’s faith. And, I felt save because of that. But now, I don’t know anymore. Now that Somin was pulling herself from me. And believe me, I knew why. I felt unsure.

 

Days.. We had been close for days since we exchanged numbers. We talked through phone. We met occasionally. We even had fantastic chit chats every Wednesday night as we enjoyed the hot chocolates. But now, she was not replying me. She refused to meet me.

 

Did she- Him? She was seeing him? Spending time with him? I didn’t know since when but it hurt me. It seriously hurt me whenever I thought about the possibilities. Gosh, as before, she even made no effort to gain my attention but she was there on my eyes.

 

What the hell was wrong with me?

 

“Nope. I haven’t heard anything about him. I have no interest.” Jongsuk said.

 

I opened my eyes and dropped my body over the couch. Am I going to lose her? Even before I manage to have her? Jung Somin, what should I do?

 

“Things like this happen if you fall in love with woman who keeps another man inside her heart. She may not notice that she unconsciously hurt you. Getting serious huh, Woobin? So not you.”

 

I snorted.

 

“Eh, don’t you realize?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Your actual name and his.”

 

“Mwo?”

 

“Kim Hyunjoong.”

 

I sighed heavily. Of course I noticed that. What a fate, huh? A pathetic one. “Please don’t remind me.”

 

“It bothers you?”

 

“Of course. Somin will-“ I held my tongue. I suddenly felt that my name was like a curse. Somin, did you pull yourself away from because of my name? Or because of him?

                                                                                           

Jongsuk drank his beer noisily. “Ahh!” He sighed in satisfaction. “But knowing Somin, I don’t think your name will bring problem. Maybe the news you mentioned about him would. What was the news state?”

 

“That the baby may not be his, that there was no miscarried, that- He tried to proved that- I- Somin might-“

 

“Oh.” Jongsuk simple answer troubled me.

 

I met my eyes with his. “She is- Do you think Somin and Hyunjoong-“

 

Jongsuk smiled slightly. “Well, I seriously can’t tell.”

 

I sighed heavily. How could you love someone like him that deep, Somin?

 

“You are falling in love with her, huh? At first, I thought she was just your little crush. But seeing you like this-  If she is worth it, fight for her.”

 

“Mwo?”

 

Jongsuk smiled. “I was saying- Try to win her heart. It is broken now. Mending it will be almost impossible.”

 

“Almost impossible.” Of course. Seeing her love for him- GODDAMMIT! YOU ARE ONE LUCKY BASTARD KIM HYUNJOONG!

 

“If you brave enough to try- If your heart is strong enough- Maybe, she will finally look at you.”

 

A slight of hope touched my heart. Yes. I must not give up.

 

BUZZ!

 

I felt my phone buzzing inside my pocket. I hurriedly took it and saw who was calling: Haneul. “Yes?”

 

“I know where she is now.”

 

Without his explanation, I already knew who was he talking about. “Where?”

 

“The intersections.”

 

I narrowed my eyes. “The intersections? Where is that?”

 

“I know the place.” Jongsuk suddenly said.

 

“She is alone. As usual, crying silently.” It seemed that Haneul heard Jongsuk’s words.

 

“How-“

 

“A friend of mine saw her. Hurry. Before she leaves.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You are welcome.”

 

I put back my phone inside my pocket and took my car keys. Somin, wait for me.

 

 

---

 

 

She is there. Haneul was right. She is alone at the corner of this wine house. A wine house? A cup of hot chocolate was not enough now? So, the pain was becoming unbearable, huh? I spotted a bottle of red wine near her, half emptied. That was too much for woman like her, right? I meant.. I didn’t think that she was such a drinker.

 

“I am leaving.” Jongsuk said.

 

“You are not coming?”

 

He raised one of his brows in response. Yeah.. Silly me. He tapped my shoulder few times before turned his body and walked away.

 

I took few deep breaths before I finally moved closer to her, carefully.

 

It was like she knew I was approaching her; she lifted her face and found my eyes. Her eyes widened in shock while I gave her one nervous smile. It was like I got caught for something stupid.

 

However.. I had to brave myself. “I saw you when I was about to buy a bottle of wine for dinner.” What a smooth liar. “Red wine? This early?” Because it was not even dinner time.

 

Somin smiled slightly.

 

“Hm-“ I the back of my head. “Mind if I join you?”

 

“I don’t think that is a good idea, Woobin-ssi. I am not in the mood to talk and- Just please-“

 

“Well, I am not in the mood to talk too.” I sat in front of her and signaled the waiter to serve me another glass. “I am here to enjoy the wine. And, you happen to be here. Let’s just share table and wine?”

 

Somin chuckled shortly. “Alright. Serve yourself.”

 

With that, we sat face to face, enjoyed the wine but stayed silence. And, it went for more than an hour.

 

In the peace, I kept on wondering what she was thinking. What she had inside that tiny head of hers? Her face stayed on its sad mode: watery and gloomy. She drank once a while but kept on busying herself with her thought.

 

Then, I felt it. She was building an imaginary wall around her: tall, thick and unbreakable. And, it made me hold my breath.

 

How am I going to reach you?

 

She took the bottle and poured all of its content into her glass. After she put down the bottle, she emptied the wine in one go, closing her eyes tight to fight the strong taste. “Finish.” She mumbled and grinned widely.

 

I clapped my hand and smiled. “Congratulation.”

 

She chuckled. “This was my first time. A bottle. Huff!”

 

“I thought you rooting for hot chocolate.”

 

“I feel like something stronger.” And so I thought. She put her arms over the table and moved forward. “I bet you know why I am being like , huh?”

 

I was shocked for a while. So, you were admitting. “Yes.”

 

She giggled. “Do you see me pathetic?”

 

“No.”

 

“No?”

 

“No.”

 

“Why?”

 

I shrugged.

 

Sorry Somin. I knew and understood why you were being like this. But, I didn’t want to explain it to you. You were in love, deeply in love. Because of that, you became delusional and stayed on denial mode. I believed you kept on rewinding and chanting the ‘what if’ questions. And, I didn’t want to confirm or support your actions.

 

“Hm-“ She rubbed her chin. “Well, I see me as a pathetic woman. It is hard to let go. Even though the pain is- But-“ She smiled in defeat. “I love him so much that it hurt and it makes me dying when we are not together.” Somin mouthed.

 

My heart stopped beating for a second hearing her confession. You saw you as a pathetic woman? Then I considered me as a pathetic man! Look where I am now? Chasing you who obviously fill your heart fully with another man.

 

“But- I realize that I have to stop this. I don’t know who to trust anymore regarding the issue. Him or the woman. The underline thing was that they were together. She warmed his bed when he dated me. Twice. And, it was enough to ruin me.” She giggled sadly. “I am not perfect enough for him. He is not satisfied with me.”

 

“Somin-ssi..”

 

She nodded.

 

“Look-“

 

“You know- I feel so much better for telling you all of this.”

 

I straightened my body. “Really?”

 

“Yes. Thank you.”

 

“No problem.”

 

“Now-“ She stood up. “I need to go to the toilet. I want to pee.” She grinned shyly.

 

“I’ll be right here.”

 

“Don’t leave me alone, ok?”

 

“I won’t.”

 

“Ok.” And, she walked hurriedly toward the toilet.

 

This was a good sign, right? She was opening herself to me. It meant that she trusted me. Oh I do hope this is a new beginning for both of us.

 

---

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