{ I’m saying it now }

Chorong always sees Yongguk, whether she opens her eyes, even more when she closes them; right now when she looks at her reflection on the mirror – Yongguk stands behind her, smiling his gummy smile. She casts her eyes down to her finger, where an engagement ring circles her ring finger perfectly, and Chorong remembers the day she received it perfectly too; they were on a playground because Chorong likes to play with the swings, Yongguk on his knees, smile a little bit too nervous even though they both knew Chorong would say yes. And she did.

And she kissed him, and he kissed her, and they’re engaged.

Chorong smiles at the memory, and she slips on her high heels – her attempts to not look so short beside Yongguk, even though he always said it’s okay, you’re perfect anyway – before she makes her way out to the living room, where Himchan is already waiting; with his coffee, and his  newspaper, and his patience, as always.

Himchan takes notice of her and turns his head, “Ready?”, and Chorong nods.  She supposes the high heels work when she’s with Himchan, too.

The ride is quiet, except for the CD player, and it plays Yongguk’s favorite song, and Chorong wonders what’s on Himchan’s mind every time he’s being considerate like now, which is, always.

They arrive at the graveyard in no time, and there’s this sinking feeling inside Chorong that comes every time she remembers that Yongguk is no longer beside her, that the Yongguk she sees everywhere is just a part of her heart that can’t let go, that the gummy smile is forever trapped in her memory.

Himchan guides her, keeping Chorong steady in more ways than one, and they clean up Yongguk’s tomb, and she places a bouquet of flower beside the incenses, and they pray for him, and Himchan talks about Yongguk’s family (“They’re doing great, Minah finds a great boyfriend, I’m sure you’ll like him.”), and about their friends (“Can you believe little shy Junhong is making money in China now?”), and then he says goodbye, leaving Chorong alone with a stone that has Bang Yongguk carved on it.

“Hey there, Tiger,” Chorong starts, the edge of the cold stone, “It’s been three years.” She clears , because even though it’s been 36 months, sometimes it’s still hard, and sometimes it’s still overwhelming. “… I have something important to tell you today. Remember when you said, if you’re gone, the only man you will ever trust to take care of me, is Himchan?”

It used to be the two of them; Chorong and Himchan, Himchan and Chorong, before Himchan introduced his best man to his best girl, and then there were three of them. And then there were the two of them, Chorong and Yongguk, Yongguk and Chorong, and back then, Himchan just smiled.

Himchan once said his heart is Chorong’s to keep, no matter who’s inside her heart; he said that before Yongguk, he said it again after Yongguk, and he said it again after Yongguk.

It was eight months after Yongguk officially proposed to her, and he's driving alone, and there's this little girl ran after her ball without looking at her surroundings, and the witnesses said Yongguk swerved his car to the side, and they said the girl stunned in her place in the middle of the road while Yongguk's car slipped and hit another car. 

The little girl survives, the other driver survives, Chorong's man was not.

And Himchan, Himchan was there on the funeral, keeping his head high for Yongguk's family and for Chorong, taking over the job to greet the people, even though he, too, lost his best man. Himchan was also there when the little girl's family came, bowing in tears and regret, asking for forgiveness for their daughter's careless act, and Chorong was so angry at the world but the little girl was bawling, promising them that she would never play with a ball ever again. 

Yongguk's parents were speechless, Chorong was out of words, but Himchan was not.

If it's Yongguk, he'd probably laugh and pick up the girl to assure her there's nothing wrong with playing with a ball as long as she's be careful, but Himchan was not Yongguk, so Himchan smiled and he patted the girl's head and said that it's more than enough if she would live her life well, because Yongguk loved children and he would be happy to see her grow up to be a dutiful daughter for her parents.

“Will it be okay… if I love him?” Chorong questions, and she still sees Yongguk, probably always will, but she also sees Himchan; not with a gummy smile, but with an annoying smirk, and she loves them both the same.  

The patient Himchan, who waits selflessly behind the annoying smirks, the considerate Himchan, who never asks for Chorong’s heart, but offers his without a second thought, the kind Himchan, who puts his best friends’ happiness over his own.  

“Bang Yongguk, thank you for everything. I won’t forget you… ever. And I will be happy.” Taking a last look on her ring before she takes it off, Chorong puts it on top of Yongguk’s tomb. She smiles, “… Bye-bye, Tiger.”

Himchan looks up when Chorong goes back to the car, and he smiles a little, taking off his scarf. “Your nose is red, Missy,” he says as he wraps the scarf around Chorong’s neck, and he doesn’t realize Chorong is staring at him until he finishes. “What?” he raises an eyebrow.

Chorong tiptoes, pulling Himchan down by his coat at the same time, and she kisses him, softly, tenderly, on the cheek, without a word. When she lets go, Himchan looks at her confusedly, but there’s a tiny bit of flare on his eyes, hopes and dreams and wishes, and Chorong smiles to him. 

“… I love you,” she whispers quietly, earnestly, and she sees how Himchan’s eyes widen at the sudden confession, but makes no move about it. So she kisses him again, slowly, fondly, on the lips this time, and Himchan’s response is a little bit too late, but he finally does, and he holds Chorong’s hand within his, as if he never wants to let go.

He still tries to hold her hand again in the car, on their way to the café they like to visit.

He does hold her hand again when they walk in to the café they like to visit, the barista behind the counter smiles warmly at them.

“Himchan Hyung! Here!” comes a loud voice, and they spot Namjoon, Himchan’s brother, already sitting on their favorite spot. The young man notices his brother’s intertwined-hands with Chorong, and he just grins wider without saying anything. Instead, he asks, “So what do you want to order?”

A/N: aaand there's Namjoon.

The next chapters are happier don't worry.

Thank you for reading! ヽ(*≧ω≦)ﾉ

happy bday chorongie! ❤