Sometimes it's better to be alone; nobody can hurt you.

He would never call himself strong.

He would always call himself weak; a coward.

Chen, a boy of many sorrows and regrets, hid in the darkness where his demons kept him captive.

When it started, he had not called out for help, nor did he have any intention of doing so. He'd been poisoned with the idea that nobody would care, nobody would have time, or that nobody would stay.

And so, he kept quiet, dealing with the ravaging demons by himself, alone in his room that he would've shared with Luhan, if it weren't for his departure in October.  

To result of all this, his mind had been destroyed, and his heart had turned to stone. For these past three months, he had built the walls of his mind up as tall as skyscrapers, but there was always that one person. The one person who could destroy his work, destroy his mind, destroy him.

His name? Byun Baekhyun.

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Ten boys. It was still a lot, but not enough.

The late October sun was starting to set, signifying another day ending, another day ending without them. From his seat at the table, Chen could see the trees swaying in the wind, just covering the suns rays.

It had been no more than two weeks since Luhan had left Exo, and they'd all taken the blow from it.

Two members in one year, who'd have thought it?

Chen had thought it. The moment Kris left, he knew there would be more to follow. He'd expected it to be himself at one time, but he'd dismissed it, as he knew himself not to leave.

He wished he knew himself now.

Their leaving affected him in ways he could not explain. Two years ago, he believed Exo to be strong, to be one. Now he wasn't so sure.

A silky voice removed the thoughts of Luhan and Kris from his head, just in time, as always.

"Jongdae? Are you okay?" Baekhyun murmured from beside him, using the boys real name to address him.

Chen nodded silently, his fork stabbing at the food he should've eaten an hour ago.

The other members had finished and left, with Chen not even noticing their withdrawal from the room.

Most of the time, the other nine boys stayed strong. No emotion. They carried on with life as normal. And at those times, Chen wanted to scream at them, he wanted cry and shout about why they didn't care, and how could they continue as normal. Although, he knew the facade they were putting on; he knew they cared, it was just a matter of that they handled it much better than himself.

"Chen..." Baekhyun's voice became softer, as if it were possible. "I know how it's affected you."

"You don't." Chen answered sternly, turning to look at the older boy with water filled eyes. "You never will."

"Chen. Let me help..."

"I don't need your help. You can't help me. There's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong." The words repeated over in his head, convincing his brain that they were true. There's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong. There's nothing... Wrong.

"Why do you push me away? Why do you push everybody away? Why, if there's nothing wrong, do you sit and live your life in silence and depression?" Baekhyun asked, moving his hand to cover to other boys.

Before he could reach him, Chen had slammed his hands on the table and stood up, his fork flying to the floor.

"Why, do you feel the need in persisting about something that's worthless? That's not worth anyone's time, because there's nothing wrong?" Chen almost shouted, making Baekhyun close his mouth, unable to find the right words to say. "That's what I thought." The boy finished.

After his outburst, he left the room, tears spilling down his cheeks as he rushed to his safe place, and also his gateway to hell.

"Calm down. Don't cry, Kim Jongdae, do not cry," he repeated to himself, rocking backwards and forwards on the floor. A tear dripped down his cheek and splashed onto the ground, and another, and another, until he was fully drowning in his tears, unable to reach the surface of his normal self again.

"." He whispered, as the last tear hit the ground, controlling himself again. Baekhyun's words repeated over in his head as he tried to find an answer to his questions.

"Why do you push me away? Why do you push everyone away? Why, if there's nothing wrong, do you sit and live your life in silence and depression?"

The truth was, he was scared.

He was scared of letting anybody close to him, to let anybody hurt him. Jongdae pushed the ones he loved away, in order to save himself and them. There was no point speaking about it, there was no point explaining. After all, how can you explain something that cannot be explained?

There was a specific reason he pushed that certain boy away. Baekhyun had always helped him through his depressing episodes, but that was just the problem.

Kim Jongdae did not want to be helped.

Baekhyun helping him gave the demons in Chen’s head a reaction, a spark they needed to carry on destroying.

That was why he pushed everyone away.

A knock at the door pulled him back into reality. He ignored it. The other members had learnt by now to leave him alone, but the knocking didn’t stop. The person knocked again, and again, and again.

“Go away!” he mumbled, burying his face in his hands, but the knocking still did not stop.

The door to his room creaked open and closed, as he heard footsteps walk towards the place he was sat.

“What the do you want?!” he cried at the person, who had stopped straight behind him.

“Chen?”

Recognising the voice, Chen turned as his eyes widened.

“Luhan?” he asked, unsure if this was true.

The boy above him nodded, before sitting beside Chen on the floor.

“You can’t push everyone away. You’ll get worse, and worse. Don’t let Kris and I be the reasons for your sadness.”

“Hyung, I have to push people away, I can’t let them help.” Chen explained, a tear dripping from his eye.

“Don’t let it become you, Chen. Stay strong.” Luhan whispered.

“Why are you here? How did you get in the dorm?”

“I’m not here, Jongdae,”

Hesitantly, the younger boys arm reached out for Luhans image, but, his hand swept straight through him.

“You’re… Not… Real? You’re not here?” he stuttered.

Luhan shook his head lightly, as another knock at the door came. Chen turned instantly towards it, before turning back to Luhan. But the former member was no where to be seen.

“I’m going mad. I’m going mental.” he whispered to himself, covering his ears and rocking back and forth once more.

“Chen?” said a gentle voice from the doorway.

“Just leave. Just please, get out, Baekhyun. Please.” Chen pleaded to the boy.  

“I just wanted to say sorry for my outburst earlier, I-I really didn’t mean to ask questions like that I just wanted to know why. I’m sorry,” Baekhyun explained, his voice sad and low.

“Baekhyun,” Chen asked just as the other boy turned to leave.

“Yes?”

“Will-Will you stay with m-me? I-I don’t want to be alone,” Chen’s voice trembled as tears formed in his eyes. He heard the door shut and was sure that Baekhyun had left him, until he felt an arm wrap around his shoulder.

“It’s okay, it’s okay to cry, Chen. It’s okay. I do it too,” Baekhyun whispered in the younger boy's ear.  A tear dripped down Baekhyun’s cheek, as he leaned his head against Chen’s.

The two boys stayed like that for hours, with Baekhyun whispering reassuring things to Chen every once in a while, to make sure he stays okay in his arms.

“Will you stay if I fall asleep?” Chen whispered, as Baekhyun’s hand slipped into his.

“Of course I will.”

At his last word, Baekhyun felt the weight of Chen’s head grow heavier onto him, as the boy became dead to the world for the first time in days.

“I’ll always stay.” Baekhyun whispered.

Little angsty one shot of BaekChen, I hope you enjoyed it :)