not talking about it

Bus, Bike, Train

I was looking through my chapter statistics, and saw that there was a notable spike in views for Chapter 17. So I was, like, what the hell happened in Chapter 17? And then I realised it. ^^ Maybe I should make more callbacks to Chapter 11, so the least popular chapter can get bolstered up. 

Slow burn is really slow. I guess I should have warned for slow burn. Also Jung Soojung is master of anticlimax. Remember, guys, love is not a competiton.

 


 

When they step out, they find Soojung is standing there, keeping vigilant watch. In fact, she was also in the process of guarding the door, barricading them in with her whole body weight. They only notice because they accidentally knock her to the ground as they swing the door open.

 

Soojung rubs the stop where the doorknob stabbed into her side and Seulgi winces in sympathy—she was a little hasty in trying to get out.

 

Seulgi tries to look Soojung in the eye and say something, but the moment their gazes meet Soojung flinches away like she’s been burned at looks a little to the side. She hears Seungwan move behind her and Soojung’s eyes flicker that direction to before snapping down to examine her shoes with newfound fascination. 

 

Seulgi realises, from the faint rose flush that’s creeping up Soojung’s neck, that it’s embarrassment.

 

They all wait for someone to say anything.

 

Not even Seungwan seems to know how to broach the silence. She hears ruffling fabric, one of them fiddling with their clothes. The background noise punches through the silence. It would be nice if it were summer and the cicadas could break the tension. Instead, there’s only a faint breeze that rattles the trees outside too much like whispers.

 

Soojung clears and tries to stand a little straighter. She still can’t keep one hand away from covering her face, though.

 

“The school has a non-dating policy as it is,” she starts to lecture, “and that's with boys can you imagine how much worse it's going to be if they find out you're gay and okay you don't have to stop now because I'll cover for you but this really isn't a good long term plan so please know that this is not the time or place to do what you want to do and you should really be more careful because I'm going to worry about you—”

 

Of all the things that could be happening now, all the rejections, all the yelling, all the worrying about other people finding out, all the future that could be ruined: of all those things, none of them happens.

 

Seulgi hugs her.

 

Everyone is dumbfounded, Seulgi, included. Seungwan adds herself to the hug pile.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Seulgi's not even sure who says it, but if there's one thing she knows, it's that doesn't care. “Um, thanks for looking out for us.”

 

“You have to look out for your friends, right?” Soojung says in a tone that wouldn’t be out of place for a person saying ‘It's best to carry an umbrella when it rains’. 

 

Well, looking out for someone can come from obligation too. Seulgi’s brother was never that close to her, nor did she find his company particularly enthralling, but he still made sure the neighbourhood boys never tossed her toys up into the tree branches after that first time. But that had been less because he wanted to and more because he knew he had to. And because he knew what would happen if he didn't.

 

She doesn’t want Soojung to just keep their secret, to ‘look out for them’ just because she thinks she has to. Even if it’s something friends are supposed to ‘do’ it feels an awful lot more like a noose. Isn’t friendship supposed to be special because it’s totally optional? (Or maybe she’s just being too particular and she’s misunderstood this whole deal.)

 

“True. I heard that’s what you’re supposed to do,” Seulgi says and hopes there’s no too old bitterness buried in it by accident.

 

Seungwan’s words tumble out. “We’re still your friends? Even despite, you know—”

 

Soojung blinks.

 

“Well,” Soojung starts, “you guys are my friends. Though exhibitionism isn’t really my, well, uh.” She offers up an awkward smile for a joke that probably didn’t come out the way she was trying to make it go for. What she really means, as far as Seulgi can guess, is them being together in the first place. “That isn’t really a reason to stop being friends with someone, you know?”

 

“Yeah,” Seungwan breathes, somewhat uncharacteristically. It turns into kind of a laugh. “Yeah, I guess not.”

 

Seulgi says, “So, this, us, everything. You’re, uh. You’re fine?”

 

“It’s not really any of my business what’s going on here,” Soojung says and she says it a little too cooly for Seulgi’s tastes. 

 

She rubs her chest on reflex to quell the uncomfortable chill there.

 

Seungwan and Soojung’s head broth snap in her direction once that happens. 

 

Seungwan’s expression—well it’s not something she’s ever seen before. The twinge of a flinch, sore and sensitive, and yet also a fire sharpened to knife point. Soojung, who seems to be on a roll with understanding things today, catches it with a tiny flick of her head in that direction and turns back to face Seulgi with her full attention.

 

Soojung immediately stutters out more words, “Not like, I mean— Don’t take it the wrong way! I just meant that two people should be free to do whatever they like with each other so what I think shouldn’t really matter not that I don’t— Or that I do, uh—”

 

“So it’s fine, right?” Seungwan says, spoon-feeding her the words.

 

And they are the words Seulgi needs to hear.

 

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Soojung assures. “I don’t have any problems with it like, that, okay? I told you.”

 

“Oh. Okay,” Seulgi says and wants to kick herself for not having any better words. Well, now she can see where Soojung was coming from when she said what she said.

 

Seungwan frowns a little. “You don’t really look…” She purses her lips, then them. “Enthusiastic about it, I guess.”

 

“Ah, that’s…” Soojung starts and then trails off. It’s not the trailing off she does when she gets distracted by things, so when she tries to pretend it is, neither she nor Seungwan are convinced.

 

“Tell us your honest feelings,” Seulgi says.

 

“Ah, that’s a little…” Soojung goes on, somewhat of a continuation of her previous sentence, but not really.

 

Seungwan joins the tag-team effort with, “Yeah, tell us how you really feel. You haven’t gotten upset and we promise we won’t either. Tell us. As our friend.”

 

Soojung blurts out, “I’m a little disappointed.”

 

Well, that could mean any variety of things. It hits like an awful bucket of ice water down her shirt. Seungwan flinches visibly. Soojung, flustered, starts to wave her hands again, frantically rushing out, “No, no, not like that.”

 

Gently, like trying to make sure an injured rabbit doesn't bolt away with a damage leg, Seungwan says, “Okay, then. Explain a little more please.”

 

“I don’t really want to talk more,” Soojung says. “Every time I do, you guys are taking it the whole wrong way. Should I just stay quiet?”

 

“It’s just a lot to process," Seulgi says.

 

“How do you think I feel?”

 

Seulgi looks her up and down. “Pretty okay?”

 

As far as Soojung is concerned, things might really have come out of nowhere, but despite that she has her usual composure for going with the flow and, a few misspoken sentences aside, she’s doing her best to try and make them feel comfortable and accepted. 

 

Soojung really is good friend, she decides. 

 

“I don’t really think it’s the saying too much that’s put us a little on edge,” Seungwan explains. “It’s just kind of in that zone where it’s not enough to really be clear but too much for us to just pretend we can guess it’s anything? Do you get what I’m saying?”

 

Seulgi doesn’t but Soojung evidently does.

 

“Hang on, I need to figure out how to say it,” Soojung says and scratches her head. She could just say it to Seungwan in English, probably, but then Seulgi would be left out of the conversation and that wouldn’t be great for her paranoia, she’s sure. Seungwan and Soojung only seem to agree, with the former waiting patiently for the latter to construct a sentence in her head that doesn’t make them want to keel over contemplating utter rejection. 

 

But, anyway, it’s not the language barrier that’s likely causing the problem. Just Soojung’s…Soojung-ness.

 

Soojung snaps her fingers. “Okay, I think I got it.”

 

It’s unabashedly adorable. Seungwan, likely thinking something similar, sends a little look in her direction as she hides her smile behind a bit lip and one hand, long fingers spread out until they poke her cheeks.

 

“I feel a little left out,” Soojung says. Before there’s any misunderstanding, she explains, “Wait, no not like that! I just meant— If you guys were dating you could have told me. You could have trusted me with that. But I understand why you’d stay quiet about it, I mean, so it’s not like I can be that offended. It’s a stupid reason to feel bad, anyway. It’s just your two’s— the business of the two of you— Ah, you know what I mean. I can’t phrase it right even if I thought I did…”

 

Soojung-ness indeed.

 

Even Seulgi knows better than to bring up Jiyoung. But it also gives her a satisfaction she realises is a tad bit sick that Soojung felt left out like that—that was a thing only possible if she felt like she was supposed to be part of something in the first place. And now Seulgi was understanding, a little more, what Seungwan said about wanting to hurt people you cared about. 

 

“It’s not like that,” Seungwan assures. “We weren’t trying to make you feel bad or anything. We’re just figuring things out ourselves.”

 

Seulgi elaborates, “We’ve only been going out a few days.”

 

“You’ve only been going out a few days and you guys were already having ? Wow. That’s more…liberal than I expected, Soojung rambles. I mean, I know that you can’t really judge a country in sweeping generalisation based on what you see on TV or what your parents want you to believe and stuff, but that’s still pretty, uh well, not that I’m judging you! You’re free to do whatever you want and it’s just your business! Don’t mind me! It’s just unexpected, that’s all. You keep on doing you. I was just trying to make an observation I’m really sorry I’ll stop talking now.”

 

A beat.

 

“You thought we’d have at school?”

 

Soojung rubs the inside of her arm again.  She mumbles something in English. (It’s not a swear word because Seulgi actually knows all of those. Priorities.) Whatever it is, exactly, Seungwan laughs and reassures her, in something Seulgi remembers, at least, is “You’re fine.”

 

Soojung hunches up her shoulder and throws up her hands, exasperated. “I didn’t want to judge, okay? You just do whatever you need to, uh—”

 

“We weren’t doing anything like that!” Seulgi squeaks and Seungwan just explodes into silent laughter, her shoulders shaking up and down.

 

“Really, don’t wordy about it. Look, it’s fine, okay?” Soojung says, rubbing her arms. It’s not cold out at all. “We’ve all had so we don’t need to be awkward about it. You guys can go on doing whatever without being embarrassed. As long as you’re comfortable with it, I won’t—”

 

“You had ?” Seulgi blurts out, hands pressed her sides. Next to her Seungwan, hands stuffed into her pockets, is frozen in position too, feet stuck like they’ve been sunken ankle deep in mud halfway through her stride. 

 

Soojung pauses and swallows. “You guys haven’t been having , have you?” She hides her face behind one hand and slaps herself on the forehead with the other. “Just forget I said anything.”

 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Seungwan says, finally managing to dig her feet up from the invisible mud. “What happened to ‘it’s nothing to be ashamed of’ and ‘we can discuss this like adults’?”

 

“Clearly we can’t,” Soojung mumbles through her hands, “especially if you’re going to keep acting like this.”

 

“We’re not acting like anything!” Seungwan says in a way that’s not very convincing.

 

Seulgi adds, in a way that is equally as not convincing, “Yeah, we’re not acting like anything.” There is not enough of a pause between this and the next sentence. In fact, there is no pause at all: “Who did you have with?”

 

Seungwan slaps her on the arm. How the tables have turned. Where is Seulgi’s sense now?

 

Soojung blinks like she’s not quite sure she heard the words correctly. To be honest, it’s probably the best case scenario for salvaging the wreck of Seulgi’s pride. If Soojung is feeling particularly gracious (or, indeed, remotely attuned to the situation) she might even pretend to have misheard the words even if that isn’t true. (She can pray for this to be one of those rare moment where Soojung magics up some social tact.)

 

“Right. So, you two just can go on doing whatever. And I guess I shouldn’t tell anyone? You don’t want me to tell anyone, right? Ah, not that what you’re doing is bad or anything. Well, in a classroom I think that’s pretty bad irrespective of the couple’s orientation, but you know what I mean.”

 

“Yes, um, right,” Seungwan says, flustered. “Keep it on the down low.”

 

“Sure, no problem,” Soojung says back a little more brightly this time and more like herself. “Are we… We’re not talking about it?”

 

Here’s the real moment of truth. Yes or no? A pivotal chance, a paradigm shift, the end of—

 

“Let’s decide that later and just get out of here, alright? The school is starting to make me nervous. And we were supposed to leave anyway.”

 

“Exactly. That’s true. Okay, sounds like a plan.” Soojung is talking too much now, random words spilling out of but Seulgi prefers is to an awkward blanket of heavy silence so she doesn’t try to stop her. Seungwan doesn’t either. “There’s been too much information sharing happening for one day anyway.”

 


 

So just as quickly as they assumed things had all been re-righted in the world, they return to a timid, not quite silence. If there’s ice to be broken, it’s a thin film over the top of a pond in winter, and just the wind is enough to shift the plates of frost around over the top but it freezes over just as fast, especially when no one is willing to do as much as poke a stick into it and stir to see what the water’s like down there.

 

They all leave quietly together, maybe because no one really feels comfortable enough to even say goodbye to each other. Soojung sure doesn’t want to look anyone in the eye after than incident and Seungwan keeps twiddling her thumbs, playing with her phone strap.

 

Just then, Seungwan’s phone blares to life. The song is some jangly idol group’s ballad and the ringtone is cut just before the chorus, which Seulgi only guesses in the chorus, because one of the members hits a very piercing high not as the tempo drops. Seungwan’s phone charm lights up to boot. She almost drops it, juggling it in the air before she finally manages to get a good enough grip to answer.

 

She and Soojung look away enough, drawing a little more distance between them, to give as much of sense of privacy as they can given the fact they’re all stuck in a weird social expectation and embarrassment forged bubble together at the moment. They exchange a look that Seulgi thinks is kind on meaningful on some front, if only to show they’re used to dealing with and sticking by Seungwan, and the spiral of overthinking that sparks in her head is genuinely enough for her not to pay attention to the contents of Seungwan’s phone call. (This seems ideal because it seems like she definitely isn’t creepy and an eavesdropper, which has been a recurring problem as of late.)

 

“I need to go,” Seungwan says with a little bow of her head, more instinctual than anything else for a girl raised with such good manners. “Sorry to duck out like this.”

 

Lucky her. But maybe this can be all their chances to part ways without spontaneously combusting in awkwardness.

 

She supposes they all really are just not talking about it. Just pretending none of that happened. This is what would be deemed an ‘open secret’, right?

 

Seulgi blurts out, “, weren’t we supposed to highlight the parts for the song?”

 

Seungwan’s eyes widen. It’s not like her to be so scattered about her own plans but she looks down at her phone and then the pile of papers still stuffed into Seulgi’s backpack (Seungwan made her carry them, obviously) and—

 

“It’s okay, I can do that,” Soojung says. She looks to Seungwan and gives a sympathetic smile. “You’re in a rush, right? That’s what it sounded like. Seulgi?”

 

“Oh, right.” Seulgi takes of and unpacks her bag to retrieve some of the pile. She pauses. “I can—”

 

“There’s a lot, right? I can do half. Don’t worry about it. You only signed on for half to do too, right?” Soojung laughs a little tightly.

 

Seungwan’s smile is timid and apologetic. “Thank you. I’m sorry about this. I already wrote which parts need to be highlighted in the top corner. It’s just a matter of higglighting. Use the sheet to reference the colours for the colour-coding and—”

 

“Okay, president, I think it’s pretty straightforward,” Soojung interrupts wryly. “Besides. It’s my— Our fault for not writing things out more clearly before photocopying everything.”

 

“Still.”

 

Seulgi undoes the string binding the stack of sheet music together and holds out the pile. It’s heavy. Seungwan bounces up and down like she wants to pee when, more accurately, she just wants to leave. It must be something if she’s so worked up.

 

“You can go first, it’s fine,” Soojung assures and nabs a large chunk of the papers.

 

“You don’t need to do all that, Soojung,” Seulgi says, pulling away. “I was supposed to help anyway so at least give me half the stack.”

 

“Take two thirds,” Seungwan suggests, voice a little more relaxed. “Since there are three of us. Soojung needs to practice tonight too. And since I can’t do my part, Seulgi will have to take responsibility for me, right?”

 

Soojung giggles. “I think I know how this relationship works now.”

 

Seulgi flushes. “Whatever. I would have done two thirds of them anyway with Seungwan since she spends so much time talking instead of working.”

 

“Maybe you should talk more, then,” Soojung teases.

 

Seulgi’s frown deepens. Soojung and Seungwan high-five. They do hang around together alone now and then too, don’t they? Even if she’s been told about it, she’s never really thought about it before. What is it they even do or talk about? (Given their previous interaction, she’s going to wager making fun of her is a pretty well-loved pastime.) 

 

“Well, if Seulgi would do two thirds and I’d do one, then should Soojung only do half of my work and take a sixth of the papers?”

 

“You guys, I still want to watch TV and stuff at home too…”

 

Soojung and Seungwan laugh again and Soojung slides a third, maybe a little bit more because it looks more on the side of begin a half, of the stack of papers into her backpack. (She took it off at an interval that Seulgi didn’t observe, yet again. Soojung’s skill at doing thing when no one is looking continues to be impressive.)

 

“I’ll, uh, talk to Jiyoung about any of the other details. If you need anything, message me. Jiyoung doesn’t really reply well to messages but she set a different alarm tone for when I send them so if it’s me, it should get through,” Soojung says. “Rehearsals start tomorrow, right?”

 

“Yeah, I already told everyone. We’ll just be handing out the music tomorrow too.”

 

“Okay. I’ll get a good night’s sleep so no one gets confused by a bad accompaniment.” Soojung gives a self-deprecating smile. “You know. After the highlighting.”

 

Seungwan puts an appreciative hand on her shoulder. It’s very politican-like, but not in the insincere way. Seulgi wonders if Seungwan even notices how she looks when she does that. “Thanks again, Soojungie.”

 

She should be happy this sudden Seungwan time crisis has brought them back to normalcy and given them something to focus on rather than that mortifying reveal. ‘Open secret’,  huh?

 

“Oh, this is it for me,” Seungwan says. “I’ve got to go to hagwon now.”

 

Just hagwon? Maybe listening to that phone call would have been more polite so she could understand Seungwan’s position a little better….

 

“Good luck,” Soojung says and then pauses. “Was that a weird thing to say?”

 

“No, ‘good luck’ pretty much sums up the misery of that experience,” Seungwan says and gives a dark chuckle. 

 

If reality were a video game, this would be the part where a notification blared up on the screen saying ‘Seungwan left the party’. To Seulgi’s bitter disappointment, though, reality is not a video game and so Seungwan’s departure seems very anticlimactic without the accompaniment of a musical trumpet theme or banner of text across the lower third of the splash screen.

 

Soojung is still here. Neither of them had the reflexes or sense to try and say goodbye either riding on Seungwan’s momentum. Soojung clicks the brake up from the back tire of her bicycle. Seulgi observes the treads. They’re slightly worn out and the wheel spokes look a little…unevenly rusted? Sketchy, perhaps is the right word. (Where did Soojung even buy them? And no wonder Jiyoung offered to get them fixed. This is just a little pitiful…) 

 

They walk for a little bit, back the way from school and the quiet makes it almost seem like old days where they did this very comfortably but both of them look down too much for it to be a proper reenaction. 

 

Soojung clears , even moving a hand to her chest. “She said it was hagwon, but it’s also a music lesson?”

 

Oh. Seungwan’s parents… Well, things are becoming a little bit clearer.

 

“It’s one of those academies for music. She lesson got rescheduled on short notice.”

 

“Oh, okay. I see,” Soojung says like she’s jotting down notes in her head. She’s very observant like that and Seulgi likes the way her face looks when she’s concentrating so hard.

 

“A lot of people go to places like that for things other than studying for entrance exams, huh?” Soojung says.

 

“They do. It’s a pretty catch all term these days.”

 

“So, there’s a hagwon for everything?”

 

“Even if there’s not, I’m sure it’s more convenient to just say that instead of what exactly you’re specifically going to.”

 

Soojung nods to herself and makes that concentrating face. Seulgi can appreciate that face. This feels normal again. Her explaining things Soojung doesn’t understand, and Soojung making seemingly random observations. Not talking about it will be fine if this continues. Normal. Nothing has to change unless she wants it to. Just all the good bits of change. It’s fine. It’s fine and nothing happened. She needs to stop worrying about this and making it awkward for everyone else. Because that’s what happening. The awkward is unending.

 

“Have any plans to start going to hagwon too?” Soojung says.

 

“My family doesn’t have the money to send me to hagwon,” Seulgi says. “Well, maybe they could if they wanted, but I don’t really want them to either, money aside.”

 

Soojung nods. “I don’t really learn well from people telling me what to do either.”

 

“I don’t think I’m that great at teaching myself, though,” Seulgi protests. “I mostly just highlight my textbook to death.”

 

Soojung laughs. “As long as you read it, something gets figured out.”

 

“Yeah, but sometimes my hand moves for the sake of it. It’s a bit of pain to look back later when the whole page is just glowing neon yellow. A headache.” 

 

“I don’t really like bright looking things either,” Soojung says. “I mostly just underline things in pencil and then erase the lines later. But I think I highlight a lot less that you.”

 

“We should study together sometime.”

 

“I think your girlfriend would be more help with that.”

 

Seulgi startles a little at the word. So much for ‘not talking about it’ at all… 

 

Soojung’s brow furrows. “Too much?”

 

“Girlfriend, huh?” Seulgi echoes, hearing the word ring out in the air instead of her head, for once. She and Seungwan are going out, yes, and they decided to make it a thing, yes but she doesn’t recall hearing the word properly thrown around. She could say it the next time she sees Seungwan. Maybe she’s like that. That’s how it’s properly done, right? In dramas too as in real life. Proper clarity that Seungwan can’t run away from. Clarity she can’t run away from, either.

 

“No?” Soojung says. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

 

“No,” Seulgi confirms and Soojung looks bewildered for a moment before she continues. “I guess she is my girlfriend. I never said it out loud before. I never heard it either.”

 

“I guess you’re kind of a player huh?” Soojung teases. “Or maybe Wendy is?”

 

Seulgi makes a fake move to hit her, just striking the air in front of her arm so the only thing that touches her is a gush of air. Soojung pretends to have been hit for real and makes a wincing face. “I’m only teasing.”

 

“Whatever.” Seulgi rolls her eyes. “But that’s for the reminder anyway.”

 

“Oh you never asked her to be your girlfriend?” Soojung asks with an overdramatic, appalled gasp.

 

“I was the one who got confessed to!” Seulgi protests. “That’s so not my responsibility.”

 

“Anything’s a responsibility if you make it one,” Soojung says.

 

“Now you sound like Seungwan.”

 

“Like your girlfriend?” Soojung cooes, in English, just to be annoying. 

 

Seulgi shivers at how weird her voice sounds when she makes ‘cutesy’ noises like that. Definitely doesn’t suit her. Soojung natural spoilt brattiness, on the rare occasions it dares to show up, is much more palatable.

 

Speaking of: 

 

“I could always go with something gender neutral so no one could guess,” Soojung goes on with a bratty smile as she notices Seulgi’s shuddering. “Your lover, perhaps?”

 

Seulgi tries to below her in the gut. Soojung twists out of the way but manages to trip over her bike as she does so, which is enough of a revenge for Seulgi as she gets to watch Soojung hop and stutter out a bizarre arrange of sounds trying to regain her balance and not topple over into the pathway.

 

“Wow, super sensitive,” Soojung says. She sticks out her tongue as she avoids another one of Seulgi’s play jabs.

 

“It’s supposed to be a secret, you brat.”

 

“I thought friends like to talk to other friends about their dating escapades. This is a whole part of high school life I seem to have misunderstood.”

 

This time she manages to thwack Soojung’s shoulder.

 

“I get it, I get it. We’re not talking about it. You’re so violent. Does Wendy put up with this? I think she’d rather have a sarcastic remark.” 

 

“I liked you better when you were too shy to think about saying anything to us.”

 

“No, you don’t.”

 

Seulgi looks in her direction. “No, you’re right. I don’t. You seem to have cheered up.”

 

“I guess I have.” And then Soojung stares out at something in the distance while they walk. She snaps out of it pretty quickly. “You know, since I’m your secret keeper, if you want, you really can talk to me about whatever whenever you want. It’s better to just say things than regret not saying them, right? I was like that some times. It’s not really fun.”

 

 That’s random. “What’s with you, being serious all of a sudden?” 

 

“I like to impart wisdom when I’m in a good mood.”

 

“Does you self importance kick into overdrive then or something?”

 

“Probably. Besides. You looked like you needed cheering up too.”

 

There’s something weird in this. There is. Something weird she can’t put her finger on. It’s weird from the air to the sounds to the feeling in the pit of her gut, reverberating up to her chest. Something strange, if it isn’t just weird. Something different.

 

“Ah.” 

 

This is it: the usual part where they split up, that division in the road where walking together just becomes impractical. The train station is just there.

 

“We made it here already, huh?” Soojung swings a leg over her bike, getting ready to mount it and be on her way. There’s plenty of highlighting to be had and done, after all. It’s quickly approaching the point where Soojung waves ‘bye’ and kicks off her bike in the into the distance.

 

“Um, Soojung, wait!”

 

Soojung does. She stops. She turns. One of her hands is holding the strap of her messenger bag tight to where her shoulder meets her chest, readjusting the little padded strip that’s supposed to stop it from digging into her skin.

 

Seulgi’s hands tighten around the straps of her own bag. “We’re all still cool, right?”

 

Soojung tilts her head a little and then puts it back, just as quickly, back and straight. “Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?”

 

Soojung doesn’t even look annoyed she’s bringing it up again. But then again, she recalls, Soojung rarely looks like anything at all. It feels like a step forward and a step back all at the same time. She wants Soojung to make those stupid faces at her, even if she has to be reminded how tall she is. Seulgi remembers to swallow all the gross spit in before she talks and it all sprays out. Soojung is far enough away that she wouldn’t get caught in a disgusting mist, but the action still makes her feel (better?) more prepared.

 

“Yeah, why not, right?”

 

Soojung raises her eyebrows a little while she smiles, which must be some kind of non-verbal, ‘Right?’

 

“I’ll, uh, see you at school tomorrow.”

 

“Happy highlighting, huh?”

 

“Happy highlighting.”

 

And Soojung waves goodbye.

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Krystalsfx
24/10 - Update! This burn is so slow, one wonders if there's even a fire. Happy birthday, Soojung!

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StagnantPorkChop
#1
Chapter 27: It breaks my heart that we wont be able to know what's gonna happen next because it seems like authornim decided to discontinue this story.
The dynamics of the three characters is really interesting. Seulgi, from the tiny moments they shared together, is truly enamored with Seungwan but she doesn't know what to do with it. There are a lot of things unsaid between them and that annoys her. Soojung, on the other hand, is someone who she thinks highly of. Someone she looks after. There are a lot of elements in this story, I felt like I was watching an anime or something. If ever you come back authornim, just now that there are many people who loves your work and will appreciate it if even you decided to continue this story. I hope you're doing well!
ImMina-nim
#2
Chapter 27: I hope you comeback to this and update. This story is marvelous!!!
trshcn6 #3
God it’s been almost 4 years since the first time I read this fic. Too bad it looks like this is discontinued. Thanks for writing this story I love it so much and hopefully miracle happens one day if you will update it <3 loolll
eunyeonship #4
Chapter 27: Comeback and update... pleeeease
TofuScribbles
#5
I change my bias to Somi, yet i still keep coming back to re-read this story. I'm still hooping that you'll update again someday. Or if you decided to discontinue this fic, please at least let me know how this story will end. Cos waiting is another story, but not knowing how it'll end is killing me.

Hope you're doing well too. With your job and health :)
I miss you
wenderpul
#6
Chapter 19: I found this fic and I read everything up to this point...and I have to take a break. Everything's hurting.
I'm not done with the latest chapter update yet, might be a while until I get to that but I want you to know that you writing style is amazing.
I feel like you really capture the confusion, the anger and the frustration that teenagers feel. All those confusion about love and friendship...I find it brilliant. The absence of the side characters to make way for the three main characters feels a bit jarring at times, but you make it up with the emotions you deliver.

At this point, I don't think Seulgi's in love with Seungwan. She pays more attention to Soojung anyway. And Seungwan comes off as a bit pushy but I understand how her mind works. It might be irritating but she acts first before she thinks, the complete contrast of Soojung. And Seulgi is in the middle between two opposites. I wanna read and know how this dynamic will change after they start dating but my heart can only take so much for one day.
Brilliant piece. Hope you'll update again, someday.
TofuScribbles
#7
Chapter 27: Still reading this up until now and still like it. I thought i would grew tired of it, but nooo. Everytime i re-read this, i always discovered something new. Lol. Which meant I'm not a very diligent reader >_<

Anyway, happy christmas to my dear author-nim
mokimoki #8
Chapter 9: Seulstal please
TofuScribbles
#9
Chapter 27: Sorry for the late comment. It's been a hectic week for me. Still. But anyway~

WHO DID SOOJUNG TEXTING TO?!? BOYFRIEND? GIRLFRIEND??? JIYOUNG? Wait, the last one couldn't be true. I don't think they're in a good term right now. Not when jiyoung stop bullying soojung to take care of herself ;-; my jiyoungxjung couple <\3
What's wrong with them? Is it because of soojung rejecting the package? Which lead me to another question... is there a need to pack it so beautifully if it's just something from the farmacy? Is that mean jiyoung have a feeling for soojung??? O///O YES YES YESSSS
And also, SOOJUNG LIKES SOMEONE!!!!!!!! Someone that she's not allowed to like? Could it be seulgi? Since she already has wendy. This reminds me back of that one chapter, when soojung wanted to tell something to seulgi but then changed her mind. I think it was also the time when seulgi and wendy had a fight! Oh dear, i hope i'm wrong :(
I hope soojung likes someone else. Like an older person. Maybe the girl from the convenient store??? LOL
I don't even know who the girl is. Heck, i don't even know if soojung likes girl XD
The convenient store girl seems to be older, about college student age i guess. And she's pretty observant, especially to seulgi. Hmm... did i miss something.
I guess it makes sense, since seulgi is a regular?

I learned something from this chapter. Soojung is definitely a bad liar. Such a cutie pie. And how yookyung just go along with it, makes her even more adorable!!! Everyone doting on soojung!!! (///3//)~

There's so many cut scene in here. Lol. Is this because last time i was whining about it!!! I should whine more then. Hehehe

How did soojung got sprain is a mystery. You're adding mysterious stuffs to already a huge pile of mystery here! Ugh, this is why i couldn't get enough of this fic! Still my fav story ever. I mean i love your other story too, but that one still need more chapter for me to be able to get attach to it.
jored-anne #10
This slow burn burns and I love it