“So how’s Song Qian?” Sungmin asked, though his gaze was more focused on the wine list and the recommendation their usual bartender (Jaejoong was his name) had offered.

Kyuhyun shrugged, pulling the black booklet out of Sungmin’s grip and ordering two glasses of Jaejoong’s recommendation. “She’s fine. Nothing new really.”

“Wow, don’t sound so enthusiastic,” the elder chuckled, leaning his back against the wall to his left.

“What about Siwon?”

“Still elusive as ever. I had just enough time yesterday to blow him during his lunch break before he had to head back to the office. Didn’t even return the favour, the selfish jerk,” Sungmin huffed, unconsciously pouting out his lower lip.

The younger laughed, shaking his head at the blond’s disgruntled frown. “Hey, you love that selfish jerk.”

“Yeah, unfortunately,” Sungmin chuckled lightly, rolling his eyes before reaching over to take his wine glass from Jaejoong as he came over with their order, Kyuhyun following suit. “Cheers.”

“Cheers.”

- - - 

On the third of February, Kyuhyun arrived home from work only to find a white box at his front door. Inside was a homemade birthday cake (red velvet, since Sungmin knew it was his favourite), with the words ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY, !’ scribbled carelessly on top in bright pink icing.

Kyuhyun shared the cake with Song Qian after her home-cooked dinner.

Qian only managed about three or four bites, claiming that though the cake tasted lovely, it was simply too sweet for her taste.

Kyuhyun, on the other hand, finished at least half of the cake by himself in one sitting.

- - -

“What’s wrong with you tonight?”

“I think Siwon is seeing other people,” Sungmin admitted with an exasperated sigh, resting his chin against the bar counter. It probably wasn’t the most sanitary idea, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care.

“What?” Kyuhyun asked, tilting his head to glance at Sungmin, wine glass firmly in hand.

“He mentioned something about some girl he saw, and from the way he was talking, it seemed like a date,” the elder huffed, staring mindlessly at his own glass of untouched red wine. “I mean- I know we never discussed being official or anything, and that means that we’re not exactly exclusive, but it’s been five months already. Doesn’t that mean anything to him?”

Kyuhyun took a slow sip of his wine as he listened to the elder’s whining. He let out a soft sigh, shaking his head at just how pathetic the other looked at that moment. “Really, Min. I know Siwon’s practically your dream guy and all, but it doesn’t sound like he’s investing as much into this relationship as you are.”

“I’m just so sick of it, Kyu. I really am. I’m so stupid,” Sungmin groaned, rolling his head to slam his forehead against the counter. “Maybe I should just give up on this whole ‘love’ idea and just prepare to become a creepy old cat man.” The sharp blow to the back of his head made Sungmin’s forehead once again slam against the countertop, earning a pained yelp from the elder. “What the was that for?!” he hissed, glaring at Kyuhyun as he sat up.

“You’re being an idiot again,” Kyuhyun huffed, rolling his eyes as he set down his glass.

“Excuse me?”

“I said you’re being an idiot. You can’t just give up on the whole idea of love just because no one’s loved you yet. It obviously exists. You just haven’t found it yet.”

The blonde groaned before resting his head lazily against the side wall. “We’re not having this talk again, Kyu.”

Kyuhyun furrowed his eyebrows before retreating with an indignant huff, taking his glass and swallowing a large gulp of his wine. “You know, for someone with so many red marks, you’d think you’d at least consider the possibility that you’ve left a red mark on someone at least once in your life without knowing.”

“No one would be stupid enough,” Sungmin muttered under his breath before dejectedly reaching for his glass and lifting it to his lips.

Not a moment later, Kyuhyun tipped the glass further backwards, causing the elder to swallow way too much, spluttering in an attempt not to choke. “Hurry up and drink. You’re beginning to piss me off,” the brunet all-but growled.

Wiping the few drops of red from the corner of his lip, Sungmin scowled at the younger, kicking his shin hard enough for the other to sprawl forward with a pained grunt. “And you’re a ing . What else is new?”

“Nothing. Because you’re still acting like an angsty teenager. Grow up, Min,” Kyuhyun retorted, setting his glass back down a little too harshly, before pulling up his sleeve. “You see this?” he asked, something beyond frustration lacing his voice as he pointed to that single black . “You don’t get this without trying. You don’t get this by sticking to the same wrong people and just waiting for them to fall in love with you. You’re so in love with the idea of being in love, that you’re not even giving yourself a chance.”

Sungmin’s eyes never met Kyuhyun’s as he stared at the black absentmindedly. He didn’t react to a single word, his breath slow and even, his eyes almost droopy and uninterested. If anyone else had seen him, they would’ve thought him to be too drunk to understand what was happening. Kyuhyun, on the other hand, knew that Sungmin hadn’t had enough to be drunk yet, and that his current demeanour was just a matter of the elder refusing to admit he was right.

“You’re an ,” Sungmin breathed out quietly, diverting his eyes across the counter and at the rows of coloured bottles on display.

“You know I’m right,” Kyuhyun replied, slouching his back slightly.

“You’re an ,” the blonde repeated.

“You don’t have to thank me. But you’re very welcome to.”

“You’re an !” Sungmin huffed, his shoulders sagging in defeat, his lips scrunched up unconsciously in a resigned pout.

Kyuhyun knew that was the closest thing he was going to get to a ‘you’re right’. “And you’re still very much an idiot.”

It was the closest thing Sungmin was going to get to a ‘you’re welcome’.

- - -

Sungmin dyed his hair black.

Ryeowook said it made him look younger and more innocent.

Hyukjae said it highlighted how chubby his cheeks were (which earned him a hard slap to his back).

Donghae said it made him look cute.

Kyuhyun didn’t say anything at all.

- - -

“Donghae and I were always upfront and honest with each other,” Hyukjae explained, sitting at Sungmin’s kitchen counter as the other prepared dinner for them both. “When we first met, Hae was still seeing that Kibum guy. You remember; from the grade below us?”

Sungmin nodded, stirring something in his saucepan before turning back to his best friend with a nod. “Yeah. He’s Hae’s second mark, right?”

“Yeah, and the one before him was some guy in his PE class. But that’s beside the point,” Hyukjae explained before shaking his head to try and regain his focus. “Hae’s got two red marks in his tally before my lovely black one made its way to grace the presence of his skin.”

“Hyuk-”

“Sorry, sorry. But you know what I mean,” he chuckled watching the elder’s face scrunch up at his words. “I fell for Hae before he fell for me. He was the second red mark on my wrist and he stayed that way for about six months. Six months, Min!”

The elder nodded slowly, letting the words sink in while he brushed a few loose strands of hair from his eyes. He still hadn’t gotten used to the colour yet (it had been almost three years since he had been his natural hair colour), but his friends seemed to think it looked okay. He never really trusted his own sense of style. “So it took six months for Donghae to fall in love with you?”

Hyukjae nodded with a reminiscent hum, resting his elbow against the counter, his chin rested in his palm. “Exactly. And now look at us! It’s been nine years since we started dating and we’re still happily dating. You don’t have to be like Kyuhyun with his whole fate and destiny mumbo-jumbo, because people like us who have multiple red marks can still have as good of a relationship as those with just single black marks.”

“Do you really think so?” Sungmin asked quietly, turning back around to continue preparing dinner and avoid his best friend’s gaze.

“Of course! Look, I’m not saying you should keep waiting for this Siwon guy or whatever, because Kyuhyun’s right and he does sound like he’s just leading you on until he finds something better. But what I am saying is that you still have plenty of hope, Min.”

The elder remained silent for a moment, his hand frozen over the saucepan as he thought about what both Kyuhyun and Hyukjae had tried to convince him. Maybe he was getting a little too desperate now. Maybe he really was so distracted by the concept of love that he never really understood what love really was like.

“What’s it like to have someone love you, Hyuk?” he asked, turning around to lean his lower back against the counter top, finally meeting the younger’s gaze (who had apparently been stealing grapes from his fruit bowl the entire time).

“It’s like fuzziness and rainbows and-” Hyukjae was interrupted when a dirty wooden spoon was thrown in his direction.

“Forget I asked.”

- - -

Her name was Tiffany.

Sungmin had absolutely no idea what she looked like, but honestly, she sounded like a lovely girl.

She was born in the US, slowly climbed the ladder in a small but reputable fashion company, owned a white puppy named Prince Fluffy, could live off a diet consisting solely of pizza and to top it all off, she had the most beautiful eyes.

At least, that’s how Siwon explained her to be when he showed Sungmin the new, bright red mark on the underside of his left wrist, accompanying two past black ones.

The mark was red, but Siwon assured Sungmin that Tiffany would fall for him sooner or later.

Sungmin congratulated the younger with a forced smile, hiding his shaking fingers under the table. There was no ‘thank you’, no apology, not even a formal ‘goodbye’ for what they both knew would be their last meeting. Just a proud grin in response, a smug nod in excuse from the table, and a cocky wave as the younger left, his cell phone to his ear and Tiffany on the other side of the line.

Kyuhyun was the first to hear of Sungmin’s break-up (if you could even call it that). The elder had called him, which he almost never did usually, his voice trembling and breath uneven with sniffles. Kyuhyun raced to their usual bar right away, only to find the elder curled up at his usual stool, leaning hopelessly against the wall as Jaejoong poured him another glass of red.

Kyuhyun had never seen Sungmin cry until that night. 

Kyuhyun had never seen Sungmin that drunk until that night.

Kyuhyun had never felt so- so… angry until that night.

- - -

Sungmin hadn’t had a drink in a week, not that he wanted one anyway. He had already drunk way past his limit the night Siwon left him. He vaguely remembered trying to order a third bottle of wine before Kyuhyun had refused and pulled him out of the bar to take him home. He woke up on Kyuhyun’s couch the next morning with a splitting headache and the feeling of fuzzy teeth.

The younger had taken care of him that morning, making sure he had enough water and coffee and food and aspirin and whatever he needed to just feel better. Sungmin naturally refused Kyuhyun’s offer of driving him home and could only thank him with a quick hug at the younger’s front door. He still had a lot on his mind and needed some time alone.

And time alone was what he got. Kyuhyun hadn’t called him out for wine for the entire week, and the one time Sungmin had messaged the younger about grabbing a drink together, he had replied with a simple ‘Sorry, Min. Work’s been really hectic lately. We’ll have to catch up for wine some other time.’

Though Sungmin kind of missed his of a friend, the more time he spent in his own apartment, the more time he had to just think to himself: about his past, about his life, about his six red marks.

It was time well-needed; time well-rested; and time that Sungmin finally decided it was time to move on.

- - -

Sweet mint and background noise.

Warm cheeks and cold fingers.

Loud screaming and sour kisses.

Bitter tastes, strong ammonia, hard wood, moist cake.

Red and black, black and red.

It wasn’t until Kyuhyun had woken up in a cold sweat, his breath sharp and rugged, that he realised the nightmare had only just begun.

- - -

‘Sorry again, Min. Hopefully later this week? Work’s still crazy.’

‘Sorry, Min. Maybe next week sometime?’

‘Still busy, sorry.’

‘Not tonight, Min.’

It had been three and a half weeks since Sungmin had last seen Kyuhyun. He hadn’t had his precious wine time in almost a month and he was beginning to feel desperate. Not to satiate the craving for the bittersweet burn of alcohol, but for the simple presence of the younger.

Sungmin knew better than whatever game Kyuhyun was playing. There was no way that the brunet was so busy he couldn’t even reply to his latest invitation out to the bar. It wasn’t even normal for Sungmin to be the one calling the younger out. Didn’t Kyuhyun see how desperate he was from the last five invitations? 

He just needed a friend, and as much as he loved Hyukjae or Ryeowook, lately, it had been Kyuhyun’s sarcastic jokes and snide remarks that had him feeling better. There was just something about the that somehow had Sungmin forgetting about all of his issues with Siwon, or the stress at work, or of that cursed red tally on his left wrist.

And Sungmin wasn’t stupid. He knew he wasn’t just being avoided: he was being ignored. Straight up ignored. And the very thought of Kyuhyun avoiding him hurt more than it probably should have. They had only known each other for a few months, but Sungmin had grown some sort of inclination to the younger. Maybe Kyuhyun didn’t feel the same way. Maybe they weren’t close friends. Maybe he had been nothing more than someone to drink with Kyuhyun so he himself didn’t look pathetic. Maybe Sungmin really was an ‘Idiot’.

Siwon had left him, and now Kyuhyun had too, and Sungmin was finding it an easier option to not even try anymore.

- - -

Ryeowook hung up the phone w