Some people wore their tally like a defining statement. Some people preferred to hide it at all costs. Sungmin did neither. He was neither proud nor scared of his tally anymore.

He first learnt about the tally at the mere age of eight, when a bright red mark about the size of his little finger appeared on the underside of his left wrist. His mother had explained to him the concept of ‘love’ and how every time he fell in love, a prominent red mark would appear on his skin. He remembered his mother tugging down the sleeve of her white blouse to show two defined marks; one red and one black. The red one had been from her first boyfriend back when she was sixteen. The black one, was from her husband, Sungmin’s father.

“When your love is reciprocated, the mark turns black, like you’ve tattooed yourselves to each other in that single .”

Sungmin’s love for his classmate with the pretty pigtails (Sunny was her name), was never returned, and the mark stayed red for the next fifteen years.

Slowly, one by one, other red marks began to accumulate on his wrist. An eighth grade crush by the name of Yuri left the next red mark on his skin. They had gone out on four or five dates, but Yuri lost interest before Sungmin’s love had managed to leave colour on her arm. At the age of fifteen, his best friend, Hyukjae, left a single bright against his skin. Sungmin never told Hyukjae, of course, especially after seeing the matching black marks Hyuk and his neighbour Donghae donned on the pale expanses of their inner forearms in class one day. At eighteen, another red mark appeared after falling in love with Saeun, one of the members of his drama club. She played the Juliet to Sungmin’s Romeo, and despite all the time they spent together in rehearsals, she never gave him a chance. At twenty, a red mark appeared after three months of dating Kim Youngwoon. Youngwoon broke up with him after a year of dating, feeling terrible holding onto Sungmin when the lack of a red line on his own wrist meant that he just wasn’t in love with him.

At the age of twenty-three, Sungmin had a total of five bright red tally marks inked into his skin. He wasn’t embarrassed by them, nor was he proud of them. He had seen other people his age with many more marks, some with less. Sungmin’s heart simply loved too easily. It was his weakness ever since his first crush back when he was eight. The lack of a single black line on his wrist was just a painful reminder that despite having loved so many people, he himself had never been loved.

It really didn’t phase him too much. Sungmin knew that one day he would wake up to find a black mark accompanying the rest of his red ones. Someone would love him sooner or later; he was only twenty-three and had other things in life that kept him busy. ‘I’ll be loved,’ he had convinced himself. ‘I hope…’

- - -

Kyuhyun hated the whole concept of these ‘marks’ tattooing themselves to peoples’ wrists. Instead, he was one to believe in fate- destiny even, and the only thing the tally proved was how difficult it was to find that one black mark that would stay with you until you’ve scarred their wrist.

He stopped believing in simple ‘love’ at the age of four, when the single black against his mother’s skin turned into a deep, yet healed scar. Kyuhyun’s mother had only ever loved Kyuhyun’s father, and his father had only ever been marked by his mother. For four years, they were a happy little family, and the youngster promised himself that one day, he would find his ‘single black mark’. He didn’t want lots of marks up and down the expanse of his arm. He just wanted one: the one.

Kyuhyun’s father died in a car accident when the young boy was only four. He no longer remembered much of the experience; his developing mind simply blocked out the painful memories. The only thing he did remember was the thick, black line against his mother’s wrist, fading and cutting deep into a painful, slow-healing gash. It took six months for the wound to heal into a long, sharp scar.

Three years after the accident, Kyuhyun’s mother fell in love again.

A month later, she fell in love again.

And again.

By the time Kyuhyun was twenty-one, his mother had a total of twenty-four marks spread sporadically across the underside of her left wrist. One scar, eighteen red and five black (though Kyuhyun honestly questioned if those five men truly loved his mother if they had left her so easily).

Unlike the backhanded whispers on the street, Kyuhyun’s mother was definitely not sleeping around. Instead, she just loved too easily. After having only known the love of Kyuhyun’s father, she simply no longer knew how to protect herself from falling so easily. Despite convincing herself that she was happy, Kyuhyun knew better: He saw the forced smiles whenever he asked if she was okay; he noticed her compulsive habit to never reveal the colours of her tally; he listened to those dark nights when she would cry herself to sleep in the same bed she had once shared with her single black mark. From the young age of seven, Kyuhyun learnt to protect his heart, and protect himself.

He still believed in fate and destiny. He still believed that one day he could find a romance like that of his mother and his late father. He still believed he could find his single black mark.

But in a world where even his own mother had so many marks permanently etched into her skin, Kyuhyun was beginning to think it was going to be impossible to find someone just like him: without a single mark, and simply looking for their only black .

One day, he’d fall in love. One day, and one time only.

- - -

His name was Siwon, and Sungmin had to do all he could not to fall in love with the man straight away. Donghee had arranged the first blind date, and Sungmin was honestly in awe at how perfect the younger was.

Siwon was beyond handsome and sincerely caring. He was a devout Christian and was on the board of directors for a large, national corporation. He kindly pulled out Sungmin’s seat at the restaurant, and bid him farewell at his front step with a chaste kiss to the back of his hand. Siwon was perfect and Sungmin could see himself easily falling in love with the gentleman.

But Sungmin knew he had to protect himself. He wouldn’t let himself be hurt again. Sure, he didn’t regret the other five marks across his wrist, but he honestly didn’t know how many more red he could take before he lost hope in himself.

After scheduling another date with Siwon in a week’s time, Sungmin promised himself that he would take things slow. He willed his heart down with a deep, shaky breath and gave a small smile. 

He’d be happy this time. He’d make sure of it.

- - -

Kyuhyun fell in love and he couldn’t ever be happier.

Her name was Song Qian, and they had both met fresh out of college at a group interview for the finance team of a small, city-wide business. Kyuhyun beat Qian out for the job, but that didn’t build any hard feelings between them. In fact, it did quite the opposite.

They went on multiple dates and learnt each other like the backs of their hands.

Qian hated sweet food and was never entirely close to her parents. She was a good cook, but she hated cooking, and spent her free time jogging through the park in her purple work-out gear.

Qian didn’t like to drink.

Qian missed her friends back in China.

Qian had no marks on the underside of her wrist.

No marks on the underside of her wrist.

That is, until late September, when she noticed a single black across the expanse of her pale skin. She left work early that day and rushed straight to Kyuhyun’s apartment, holding her sleeve up towards her boyfriend.

The secret red mark against Kyuhyun’s own skin had lost it’s colour and it felt like his life’s wishes had come true.

Qian loved him, and Kyuhyun loved Qian.

- - - 

“Min! You’re finally here!”

It all started when Ryeowook decided that it was finally time for his friends to meet his boyfriend, Jongwoon.

“I’m so sorry I’m late!” Sungmin breathed out heavily, running his hand nonchalantly through his wet hair in a weak attempt to make himself more presentable. “One of the new trainees at work did God-knows-what to our operating system and completely screwed up this month’s project, so of course I was told to fix it before I left. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the traffic on the way here was just ridiculous because of the rain, and then-”

“Okay, okay, I get it, Min,” Ryeowook laughed, cupping his hand over the elder’s mouth to stop him from rambling.

The bar was fairly packed, probably because of the ill-fortune of such heavy rain on a Friday night so close to the holiday season. But that didn’t stop Sungmin driving almost an hour and half away straight after work to meet up with his closest friends at their favourite bar, and finally have a drink with the younger and his boyfriend.

“It’s totally fine. We were just ordering another round. You must be the almighty Sungmin.”

Sungmin nodded slowly with a faint blush before Ryeowook removed his hand and took his seat again between Donghae and a man Sungmin had only ever seen in photos.

“And you must be Jongwoon. I’ve heard quite a lot about you,” Sungmin chuckled lightly, taking the empty seat to the other side of Hyukjae after shrugging off his damp jacket and hanging it on the back of his wooden chair. “Wookie doesn’t stop talking about you.”

Jongwoon snickered as he watched his boyfriend reach over to punch his friends shoulder. He trailed his hand over to the younger’s, comfortably interlacing their fingers together with a proud smile. “That doesn’t surprise me, since I know how much I rave on about him to my friends too.”

“God, you never shut up.”

Sungmin looked up at the two new men who had just joined the table, bringing over two trays of cold beers. The man who spoke, a rather skinny, effeminate looking man, scowled at Jongwoon from behind his light brown bangs, while the other, a taller brunet, handed out the beers to everyone at the table.

“That’s Heechul,” Hyukjae murmured to Sungmin as the drinks were passed around. “He’s the oldest of us here, so he’s been acting like a diva since we arrived.”

“Oh no, Heechul’s always like that,” Jongwoon chuckled, shaking his head as said-man shot a bottle cap in Hyukjae’s direction with a hard glare. “He’s been a friend of mine since high school,” he explained to Sungmin as the two new men sat down. “And the other one’s Kyuhyun. We’ve known each other since we were six.”

“Guys, this is Sungmin,” Ryeowook introduced, gesturing towards his friend two seats over. “We shared a dorm back in college.”

“It’s nice to meet you guys,” Sungmin smiled, speaking mostly to Jongwoon, before nodding his head in acknowledgement to the elder’s two friends.

Heechul merely nodded back at him, the glass of beer firmly against his lips. In the end, it was Kyuhyun to reply.

“Nice to meet you too, Sungmin.”

- - -

Siwon left a red across Sungmin’s wrist after the second date, and Sungmin couldn’t have been more disappointed in his heart.

- - -

Song Qian was beautiful and Kyuhyun still couldn’t convince himself that it wasn’t all a dream.

- - -

“Hey, you’re Ryeowook’s friend, right? Sungmin?”

Kyuhyun ran into Sungmin at a coffee shop in the middle of town. He was running late in the morning and couldn’t pick up his usual cup of coffee at the Starbucks near his apartment, but still in desperate need for his caffeine fix, he found himself using his lunch break to head down to the closest cafe to his office.

Sungmin looked up from the stack of papers in front of him at the sound of the other’s voice. He had been requested to read and edit his team’s final proposition report and thought it a more comfortable idea to leave the office for a few hours and relax in the warmth of his usual cafe. “Uh yeah. You’re Kyuhyun, right?”

“Yeah,” the brunet nodded with a slight shrug of his shoulders before sliding into the opposite side of the booth, setting down his cappuccino and sandwich onto the wooden table.

Sungmin furrowed his eyebrows a little as he watched the other invite himself to a seat. “What brings you here?” he asked, shuffling his papers a couple of inches over to give the younger some more room.

“Lunch. You?” Kyuhyun replied, leaning his back against the booth as he took a bite of his sandwich.

“I’ve got an important report to read over and thought it better to get out of the office.”

The younger nodded, opening his mouth again to speak, not even minding the half-chewed bite of sandwich inside. “You know, you’re pretty selfish keeping such a big booth all to yourself during rush hour.”

It took a moment for Sungmin to register what the other had said, raising his eyebrows in disbelief. “Excuse me?” he scoffed, setting his current page back into the paper stack. “I’m a paying customer.”

“You’re also really defensive. Lighten up a little, will you?” Kyuhyun snickered, ignoring his own cappuccino for a moment to reach over for Sungmin’s plastic cup to take a sip from the straw.

“What do you think you’re do-”

Sungmin was cut off when Kyuhyun abruptly threw his cup back down onto the table with a sour face. He spluttered momentarily, his nose wrinkled up in disgust. “What is that?” he all-but groaned.

“An iced peppermint mocha.”

“More like diabetes in a cup. God- how can you drink something that sweet?” Kyuhyun asked, nudging his head in the direction of Sungmin’s cup, dramatically glaring at the plastic like it had offended him personally.

“Hey, I like sweet things and it’s my coffee. You’ve got your own,” Sungmin muttered out through gritted teeth. His fingers unconsciously tightened their hold around his pen as he let out a shaky, aggravated breath.

“That thing is not coffee,” the brunet retorted as he took another bite of his sandwich to get rid of that sickeningly sweet taste off of his tongue.

Sungmin scoffed at the younger, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against his seat. “Remind me what you’re doing here again, Kyuhyun?”

“I’m on my lunch break,” the younger replied nonchalantly, glancing up through his bangs before looking back down at his sandwich.

“I mean here- at this booth.”

Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow at the other’s tone, swallowing his food before taking a sip of his own coffee, almost sighing in relief at the bitter warmth. “I needed somewhere to sit and all the tables are taken. We know each other anyway. Besides, since Jongwoon and Wook finally decided to introduce everyone, I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other a lot more.”

Sungmin took in a deep breath to stop him from arguing with the younger. The brunet was beginning to get on his last nerve with his entitled and arrogant attitude. But for the sake of his friendship with Ryeowook and now Jongwoon, he held himself back.

In the end, Kyuhyun didn’t say ‘goodbye’ or ‘thank you’, Sungmin found a large mayonnaise stain on his proposition report, and the remnants of Kyuhyun’s meal was left on the table for Sungmin to clean up.

- - -

“No offence, Jongwoon, but your friend Kyuhyun is a bit of an ,” Sungmin deadpanned the next time he met up with Ryeowook and his boyfriend.

“This must be about the coffee shop incident Wookie was telling me about,” Jongwoon snickered, stretching his arms out for a moment before lazily resting them on top of his head, his gaze still locked on the soccer game on the television.

“Yeah! He ruined my copy of my team’s proposition, left all of his crap for me to clean up, and didn’t even say a ‘thanks’ or ‘goodbye’. ,” the younger huffed, blowing up a stream of air towards his forehead, his blond bangs messing up at the wind.

“Kyu’s a bit like that sometimes. He still acts like a kid, but he’s mature when he needs to be.”

Sungmin rolled his eyes at Jongwoon’s statement, holding back a scoff simply to appease his new friend.

“No, really!” the elder laughed, holding his hands up defensively. “He’s addicted to video games, he can’t even cook for himself, and he’s still so insistent on that whole fantasy of fate and destiny.”

The younger chuckled along with Jongwoon, shaking his head unamused. “Yeah, well that doesn’t surprise me. Maybe he should try acting his age for once.”

- - -

Song Qian flew back to China to spend the Christmas holidays with her family, and Kyuhyun couldn’t have had a more lonely feeling in his heart.

- - -

Sungmin wore a dark blue sweater on his next date with Siwon, hoping that the knitted fabric would hide the sixth red mark donned on his wrist. 

It was the first time he had ever been ashamed of his tally.

- - -

On Christmas Eve, Jongwoon and Ryeowook held a combined housewarming/Christmas party in their new home on the outskirts of Seoul.

Sungmin would have liked to have spent the holiday with Siwon, but they just hadn’t grown close enough yet. A handful of dates wasn’t enough to establish a defined status for them, and besides the exchange of a nice cologne for a baking cookbook, the couple hadn’t decided to celebrate Christmas together. And despite his slight disappointment, Sungmin still thoroughly enjoyed his Christmas break with his closest friends.

Ryeowook stubbornly refused the elder’s offers to help prepare dinner, resulting in Jongwoon pouring the